Path of Love
by MadelineSnape Esq
Summary: What if Sandra and Strickland had started dating during the episode Final Curtain in season five. This is the story of their growing relationship building off each episode-one chapter for each episode plus a few extras. Naturally Gerry, Jack, and Brian are included but the focus is mainly on Sandra and Strickland. Hope you enjoy.
1. Final Curtain

**Path of Love**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it's as simple as that.

Authors Note

So there are two things you probably should know.

First, I am an American and while I love watching British TV I am still an American and there are some things we have different words for (and spell differently I believe). I have when comfortable (and by comfortable I mean when I felt I was using a word/term or phrase in the correct context) used words the characters would use. But when there was any question in my mind that I was possibly using something incorrectly I went with the Americanism to be safe. I like to be accurate to a character but not at the risk of being insulting or appearing stupid. So forgive me I am currently at the mercy of what I can watch on tv and research on the Internet and I am sure we can all agree those two are not always reliable sources.

Second, this is a series that is made up of 56 one shots. One for each episode staring with season 5's Final Curtain and ending with season 10's Little Brother plus a few extra stories stuck in. They are all one shots but they build off each other. All 56 have been written, revised and edited. I will give each a final edit right before posting but they are for all intensive purposes done and ready to go. I am going to try and update one every day, that's the goal forgive me if I don't meet it every day. Also I have tired really hard to find and correct typos but I am only human so I apologize if there are any.

Final Curtain

"Did my nephew actually take you out to dinner?" Robert Strickland asked in a shocked tone. He was standing in Sandra Pullman's office doorway watching her work trying to keep the nervous energy inside him from escaping. He watched her body jump at little when he spoke. His voice sounded loud against the silence of the office and he regretted startling her.

Both his question and his presence caught Sandra by surprise and she wasn't exactly sure how she should answer. She had accepted James' invitation on a whim and hadn't even given a thought to how her boss would react. She looked up from her paper work and stared at him for a minute before answering him trying to compose both herself and an answer.

"Yes he did…for my birthday." She replied cautiously, the night hadn't gone very well and she didn't want to insult one of his family members. She was also hesitant to say any more, she was having a difficult time reading her boss at that moment and wasn't sure if he was upset or just curious.

"And you agreed of your own accord? You actually went?" He was stunned and the words flew out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying.

"I did, is there a problem with that?" She asked getting a bit defensive, there was an edge to her voice that was meant to indicate he should watch what he said next. Going to dinner with James may not have been the smartest idea she had ever but she was an adult and she did get to make foolish choices like this if she wanted.

"He's a child" he blurted out confused and foolishly missing the tone in her voice completely.

"Yes well he is a bit younger… okay a lot younger… quite a bit younger than me I suppose." She had started out growling at him but by the end even she could hear how pathetic she sounded.

"No, no, I mean he acts like a child. I'm not sure he has ever acted in a mature adult manner in his entire life. I apologize for anything he may have said or done." He was quickly becoming embarrassed as he managed to say all the wrong things once more.

"Oh…ah…he was fine sir." She replied a little taken aback she didn't quite know how to interpret his comments. The entire conversation had been rather strange and it made her feel uncomfortable. At that moment she would have preferred if he were in her office to yell at her, at least then she would have known how to respond.

"You don't have to be nice, unless he really did show you a good time in which case I'm pleased to see he might actually be growing up." He said realizing he was continuing to insult her and that was the last very thing he wanted to do.

"I wouldn't say he was childish but he did have a lot to say about himself," she admitted a little more willingly this time. The night had not been terrible but it was far from a good birthday dinner and she was not planning on repeating it with the younger Strickland again.

"I guess that is progress, but I am sorry if he monopolized the conversation and the evening, I'm sure that was not exactly how you wanted to be celebrating your birthday." He felt the need to apologize for his nephew's actions but he was trying to do so without insulting her any further, the task seemed near impossible to accomplish.

"It wasn't exactly the night I was expecting, actually I'm not sure what I was expecting." She confessed with a sigh. "Honestly I only accepted his offer because I was mad at Brian and Gerry for forgetting my birthday and after the way they reacted when they discovered James had asked me out to dinner…well I knew it would piss them off." She had no idea why she was telling him this but it somehow felt right and the words were out of her mouth before she could second guess her decision.

"But you're the one who got struck with James for the night," he pointed out confused.

"True" she laughed.

"Could I make it up to you?" He asked boldly holding his breath; she had already turned him down several times in the past when he had offered to take her out and he was expecting yet another rejection.

"Sir?" she asked confused by his proposal.

"Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow or whenever you are free and your case load allows?" He clarified, hoping against hope that she might finally agree.

Her immediate response was to say no she had said it to him more than once. But she stopped herself; she quickly discovered part of her wanted to go to dinner with him. It was no secret the two of them had started off on the wrong foot and their working relationship had been more than a little rocky over the past few years. Yet during the past several months she had come to discovered that she had feelings for the DAC.

A year ago she was convinced she was indifferent to the man but that changed when she saw him kissing Christy Berlin six months ago. She was taken by surprise at the wave of jealousy that consumed her when she accidentally witnessed their kiss at the circus. She was understandably angry at him for using her team to help his personal life, but she was angry for another reason. She was angry that he was kissing another woman at all. She had tried to suppress the feeling it was not as though she had any claim on the man. Yet with him standing there offering her dinner once more she felt her restraint withering.

"You know what, yes I would like that, and we just finished this case so tomorrow night would be great." She agreed smiling at him.

"Wonderful I'll pick you up… seven sound good?" He had expected her to say no and he quickly came up with a plan for the following evening. At the same time he was rather pleasantly surprised she has actually said yes and he couldn't keep a smile off his face.

"Sounds great, I'm looking forward to it" she told him and she truly meant it, a smile of her own appeared on her face as she said it. She tried to ignore the little flutter she felt at the thought of going out to dinner with him, she reminded herself it was just dinner but the flutter only got stronger.

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"I hope you had a better evening tonight than a few nights ago?" He asked her later the following night, they had finished dinner and he was walking her to her door. The night had gone even better than he was hoping and he couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face, he just hoped she hadn't noticed it.

"A hundred times better, thank you," she replied flashing him a giant grin. They had both had a glass of wine with dinner and she was feeling happy and relaxed. She had really enjoyed spending the night with him and she wasn't ready for it to end just yet. Taking a deep breath she decided it was time to take a chance and find out what his true intentions were. "Will you be trying to kiss me like James did?" She asked him with a wicked smile.

"He what?" Strickland bellowed he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"He didn't succeed" she informed him quickly but that was not quite the response she had been expecting.

"I should hope not, I am going to kill him," he growled as his head filled with the image of his nephew trying to kiss Sandra.

"I think he was sufficiently embarrassed" she laughed nervously as she remembered that night. She was hoping he would answer her question instead of planning ways to harm James.

"I wouldn't be too sure, that boy has a huge ego." He couldn't believe James had the audacity to try and kiss her. He was angry and jealous at the same time. Thoughts of killing his brother's son had taken over his mind.

"You didn't answer my question." She reminded him, the last person she wanted to be thinking of at that moment was James Strickland.

"Your question?" he replied confused he had been too focused on the thought of James kissing her and how he could bring the man's short life to a quick end.

"Will you be trying to kiss me?" She asked again felling far less confident than the first time she asked. This was not going the way she had planned.

"I…um…I could…" he tried to answer unsure of what he should say. All thoughts of James and his transgression were gone and now all he could think of were her lips. He knew what he wanted to do but he wasn't clear what she wanted. His thought process had shut down and he could barely get the words out.

"Would it help if I told you that you might have more luck?" she offered hopefully. She was going to feel very embarrassed if he didn't want to kiss her.

"Yes that would help." He added a smile finally appearing on his face. He then leaned in closer and kissed her. It started as a simple kiss but soon it became something much more. He reached over and cupped her face in hand as he worked on deepening the kiss. He didn't pull back until he realized they were snogging on her front step and he had no idea how long they had been going at it. "Sorry" he gasped out of breath as he pulled away. He realized they were putting on a show for her neighbors and that was likely the last thing she wanted to do.

"Would you like to come in for a night cap? And maybe you could do that again?" She asked once she had composed herself.

"I would love to." He admitted as he willingly followed her into the house. This night was turning in to so much more than he could have hoped for. If this was a dream he never wanted wake up.

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I hope you enjoyed the first story...hope it wasn't too terrible. As I said there are more to come and I hope you will keep reading and forgive me for any errors or mistakes. Thanks for reading.


	2. A Face for Radio

A Face for Radio

"I am only getting in that car if you promise me you will not play one single song from the 80's." Sandra informed Strickland standing in front of his car with her hands on her hips. He was there to take her out for dinner for the third time that week and she was tired of that specific decade's music following her everywhere she went.

"I promise I won't even turn the radio on," he assured her with a laugh. "I would much rather listen to you talk than anything on the radio." He added hoping the compliment would do him well at that moment and for the rest of the night.

"I see you are full of flattery tonight, fine I will get in the car." She agreed flashing him a giant smile. She couldn't help but feel like a teenager lost in the lust that came from a new relationship and she didn't even care. She was having far too much fun with Robert Strickland to start analyzing things just yet.

"I promise you won't regret it" he guaranteed returning her smile. He couldn't help but marvel at how much things had changed over the past week and a half. He had dreamed of being a relationship with the beautiful blond but even his dreams couldn't measure up to the real thing.

"I'm holding you to that." She said with a laugh as she got in the car. She was ready and willing to leave the day's events far behind and have some fun that might just end in her bedroom once more.

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Sandra sat on the sofa, something was playing on the television but she wasn't paying any attention to it. She couldn't stop looking at her phone. She knew he wouldn't call and she knew he wouldn't come round to her place. He wasn't that stupid or glutton for punishment. If he called or showed up they would only end up fighting and yelling at each other. They would end up saying things neither of them meant, it would only be an extension of what they had already had said earlier that day.

She should have known the fun of the past two weeks would never last. Yet she hadn't expected their relationship to crash and burn as badly as it had just hours earlier. He pushed her on Jack and she pushed back and somehow they had both said things that were aimed to hurt the other. The words said would be hard to take back even when tempers calmed. She had put her team and the unit before this new relationship with him, she wasn't sure if he had expected it but he should have. He should have known how much those three men meant to her and he should have known that forcing her to replace Jack would only make her angry. He had pushed her into a corner and he had seen her bite. But he hit back just as hard further driving a wedge between them where once there had been nothing to stop their feeling. It felt to her as if a whole ocean was separating them now and she had suddenly forgotten how to swim.

She knew the state of affairs between them and yet she couldn't help but check her phone repeatedly because deep down she wanted him to call, she wanted to fight so they could making up and move past this whole mess. Unfortunately it was more likely their fledgling relationship wouldn't be able to move past this obstacle. Not only had they fought and disagreed about Jack, but she told him she wanted a new job in a different department. It was like she had slapped him in the face and he retaliated by saying he wouldn't be giving her a reference. His words had the desired effect of cutting her deep. She couldn't take back what she said and if that was what he thought should happen she didn't want to take it back. The pain and hurt they caused each other was not something they could just leave at work or forget.

Maybe it was for the best. How could they expect to make this work given their jobs, he was her superior officer, they often did not see eye to eye and they often fought and disagreed. On top of that the police force highly discouraged relationships of this kind, if they carried on one of them would likely have to move to a new position anyway.

Yet as she lay in bed a little while later unable to sleep the tears stared to stream down her face. She knew that reason might suggest this was a relationship not meant to be. But her heart had made a different decision. She had already started to fall for the man in the two weeks since they had first gone out to dinner.

They had gone out to dinner five more times after their initial date. Each time they had ended up back at her place for a drink, and every time they found their way into her bed and he didn't end up leaving till the next morning. Strickland had taken to keeping a change of clothes and a clean suit in his car. Sure they were acting a bit like hormonal teenagers but they had been having fun. She hadn't enjoyed herself this much in a very long time. She found she wanted to spend more time with him; she wanted to learn everything about him. And if she was completely honest the sex was amazing. For a man so straight laced at work he sure did know how to let go in bed.

She was taken by surprised by how much she enjoyed spending time with Robert Strickland. When she had first met the man she thought he was a stuck up political prat and not much had happened to change her mind. Then they went out for dinner and he did change her mind. That night changed everything. She was happy, happy just being around him, near him, listening to him, texting him, even talking to him on the phone. She had been a little surprised to find he was so much more than the facade he showed at work.

Now things had changed, they had fought, and they had hurt each other. Their words doing far more damage than actual physical violence could have done. She wasn't sure this was something they could come back from. She wanted to be with him but she didn't know how to any more. She wanted everything to be normal between them, like they had been yesterday before all their foolish words. She wanted Jack to come back so that everything would go back to the way they always had been, with one minor change.

She could still feel his touch on her lips and she longed for it. Her bed still smelled like him from the night before and it only made her miss him more. It was as though a ghost of him were still lingering in the bedroom. Sandra hadn't realized how much of her life she had opened up to the man in only two weeks. She had no idea what to do or how to fix this mess, she couldn't find a solution and instead she just lay there and cried herself to sleep.

A/N So this is number two, thanks for continuing to read and I hope you enjoy the story so far!


	3. Loyalties and Royalties

Loyalties and Royalties

Sandra Pullman was pacing the kitchen floor waiting for Robert Strickland to show up, she was too nervous to sit down. She was even too nervous to enjoy her glass of wine, it sat untouched on the counter. She wanted him to show up so she could deal with the situation. She didn't like sitting around doing nothing, she was never good at it. Yet if he showed up then their relationship could come to an end, and she wasn't ready for it to end. Her brain and her heart were at war and she hated the feeling. Her brain might say this was dangerous but her heart wanted to continue, it wanted him.

He had texted and asked if he could come by after band practice and she had told him yes. If he hadn't asked she would have, they needed to talk and figure out if there was anything left of their relationship to salvage. They couldn't possibly just go on as if nothing happened. How could they, even with Jack back, it didn't change the fact that things had been said and she wasn't sure they could be taken back.

He had been a complete prat at work during this case but she hasn't helped matters any. He asked her if Jack coming back changed her mind. She knew he was talking about more than just UCOS yet she hadn't even given him an answer which had upset him just as she had intended. She was still a little angry with him for what he had said to her and the way he tried to push her on Jack. He was clearly still angry with her as well and the end result was inaction, neither one had done much over the last few days to rectify the situation.

She hadn't actually changed her mind about them in the first place, she still wanted this relationship. But after what happened she was having doubts. She knew couples fought all the time and they usually found a way to make up and move on but she wasn't sure this was one of those times. She didn't want to fight with him anymore, in fact when Jack had shown up with Brian a few days earlier she hadn't want to fight then either. Yet that didn't stop her from acting in a way she knew would upset him.

She had really enjoyed the two weeks they had together she thought they made a good pair. But the last week had shown they were also really good a hurting each other and she was afraid. She had always been in control and if the past three weeks had taught her anything it was that she would quite willingly give up some control to him. And with that control he had the power to harm her and she didn't know if she could open herself up to a risk like that. She had never been very trusting when it came to men she always expected them to hurt her and she made sure never to give them the opportunity. She was usually the one who broke things off, she had a keen sense when it came to men. She seemed to know when they were about to go too far, she knew when they were about to hurt her and she ended things before they ever got the chance. Or at least she always thought she had.

Things were different when it came to Robert Strickland, she hadn't seen this disaster coming. She hadn't expected him to lash out at her over her stubborn reaction to Jack's absence. She had been so caught up in her feelings for him she let her guard, her control, and her heart slip and he had hurt her. Her reaction was to immediatly attack back at him trying to even the score and hurt him as deeply as he hurt her. The look on his face when she told him she would leave UCOS told her everything, he hadn't expected that reaction. He was a foolish man if he thought she would give into him without a fight. She had wanted to hurt him yes but she wasn't looking to end their relationship. Yet she was pretty sure that was exactly what the two of them had done.

Was it enough that she really liked him, possibly loved him, if she knew how he could hurt her? And could he let himself love her if he knew she could hurt him just as easily? This was not the first time she had dated a co-worker, it wasn't even the first time she had dated her boss. All those relationships had ended much the same way- they lost interest in each other or she had put an end to it when things got too serious. The latter was the reason she began dating married men, they were safer they had the whole domestic package already in place and they didn't want that with her. They wanted something different something fun something casual and a bit naughty. They wanted to spice up their lives and she had been happy to help because then there was never the risk of someone asking her to stay forever.

He was different, Robert Strickland was dangerous and it scared her. She had fallen so hard already and they had only been dating two weeks, she had never acted like that before. She had purposely tried not to analyst what was happening between them because then she would have seen how out of control the situation already was. He wasn't some married man attached to a wife he would never leave, a wife she would never ask him to. He was free. He represented endless possibilities that she had never allowed herself to even consider. She had always chosen work over love or at least she thought she had.

Then there was their work, if they ended things now it would be awkward but not all that different from how things had been a year ago. They would keep conversations strictly professional no personal inquiries, no opportunity to think about what they had done, no room to try again. And over time they would forget those two weeks, they would be little more than a memory worth a fond smile every once in a while. It would be over between them and neither would open the door to that option again. Soon the professional would wipe out any familiarity they shared. She would forget how his smell made her feel, how his touch would ignite a fire in her and how his kiss would make her melt in his arms. She would begin to doubt if the memories were even true, they would become more figments from a fantasy than actual reality. They would just move on. She would be safe once more alone in her world with three pensioners for company.

Safe was nice it was so enticing but just the thought of everything she would lose, the cost she would pay was enough to make tears appear in her eyes. She didn't want his smell, his touch, his kiss to become a memory. She didn't want to go back to being professional never asking how his day really was. All she would ever get from him then would be his assurance that he was fine. She would be cut off from him and she couldn't bear the thought.

That brought things back to work; if they didn't end it now if they continued it could end in disaster. They had already shown their ability to lash out at one another, if they continued to date it would only get worse. Would they scream at each other at work or wait till they got home and then really let each other have it. How many times would she threaten to leave UCOS, to leave him without have to actually say the words? How much damage would they cause before they realized their relationship was over? By that point they would no longer be able to work with each other one of them would have to leave and take a new job with a different team and a different DAC, or even take promotion and really go somewhere else. Then she would be left with nothing, she wouldn't have him and she wouldn't have the three men who meant so much to her. That thought was enough to bring on more tears.

She couldn't find a way out of this mess, she should have never agreed to go to dinner with him in the first place. She should have held strong pushed the image of him kissing another woman out of her mind. Yet by now she was so far gone she couldn't even take the idea of him kissing another women without causing a wave of fury to rage inside her. She was too confused and he was due to show up any minute. She needed a plan and she needed one fast. But she didn't know what the right choice was, what was she supposed to do? She knew what she wanted to do but she had made so many bad choices in the past and she really didn't want to mess this up too. Should she listen to her heart for the first time or stick with her head, the logical decision maker that kept her just out of harms reach all these years?

Finally the doorbell rang and it took all her control not to run to the door to answer it. She opened it slowly to reveal an equally nervous looking Strickland. Before she could say a word he stepped forward and kissed her. It was no simple peck on the lips this was a long-lasting kiss that made her knees go weak. It would've been so easy to fall into his arms and follow him to her bedroom, to forget everything that had happened and everything swirling around in her mind. When they finally broke apart she found herself gasping for air.

"I'm so sorry" he told her. "I was a total jerk and I'm sorry please tell me I haven't screwed things up so badly that it can't be fixed" he pleaded with her.

"Why don't you come in?" she replied still breathing a bit heavy. He nodded and followed her into the kitchen. "You want a glass?" she asked picking up her wine and taking a large drink.

"Yeah sure" he agreed and she poured him a glass then refilled hers. Now was the time for a little Dutch courage, though she was more confused than ever. She wasn't expecting an immediate apology from him; she was thrown for a minute and didn't know what exactly she wanted to say.

"I really am sorry, I couldn't bear the thought of you leaving UCOS for another department. I didn't handle the whole Jack thing very well even when he came back, I know that now." He apologized to her once more.

"No you weren't that unreasonable, I let my personal feelings for Jack influences my actions. I always do and I probably always will. I think I expected you to act more personal than professional which was wrong." She felt the need to take some blame for their fight; she certainly hadn't done anything to minimize it.

"I understand, I don't want to lose you at all but I certainly don't want to lose you to another department. You didn't answer me did I mess things up too badly? Can we start over?" He asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure" she answered softly and his hopeful expression fell.

"I understand" he nodded, he had upset her and said stupid things in anger, he wasn't surprised at her words or how she felt.

"No you don't because I don't. I know what I want; I want to forget this ever happened and move on with us." She cried exasperated, how could he possibly understand when she didn't.

"But?" he prompted.

"But after what happened I'm not sure that this is a smart idea and I've made so many stupid decisions when it comes to relationships I'm tired of it."

"Why do you assume this is a bad choice?" He knew the risks that came with their relationship but that didn't make it bad, at least not to him.

"You're my boss and we had what I believe were several fights at work that were not purely about work. How can we possibly keep these two parts of our lived separate?" she asked. She could feel a lump in her throat forming as she talked and she tried to will it away.

"We will try harder, look we were just testing the waters of a relationship when the whole situation with Jack happened now we know and we will work harder to keep our personal and professional lives separate. It will be hard and sometimes we won't be able to, but we will try and be prepared, we won't fly off the handle and request a transfer." He told her trying to reassure her that they could and would make this work if she was willing to try.

"That was more about not wanting to work without Jack and less about not wanting to be around you. But if I'm honest I wanted to hurt you I wanted you to reconsider giving Jack more time. It wasn't about our relationship…well not really… except I wanted you to do what I wanted because we were in a relationship." She informed him sadly not sure if she was really making any sense her mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions.

"Not sure if that makes it better or worse?" he sighed shaking his head.

"See what I mean" she replied giving him a look.

"Wanting to find a replacement for Jack was all about work as well." He added not sure how it helped but he felt the need to say it.

"I know the problem is we reacted professionally yet we processed each other's actions based on our emotional relationship, how can we control that?" She asked him still unsure of what the right choice was.

"I don't know." He exhaled deeply, all he wanted was to forget this mess and he rubbed his face with his hand.

"And that's the problem" she replied as she started to cry. She couldn't take the thought of him watching her cry so she fled to the safety of the sofa a few meters away. She could feel what they had slipping away and her heart objected, but how could they possibly make this work?

He saw the tears pool and slide down her cheeks before she walked away. Setting his glass down he followed her sitting down on the sofa next to her. She turned away from him as he did trying to wipe the tears away to hide them but new ones fell in their place.

"We can figure this out" he promised taking her hand.

"How" she asked finally turning towards him.

"We just will" he replied firmly.

"Yeah right" she countered taking a shaky breath, she desperately wanted to believe him but her brain wouldn't allow her.

"Hey when you put your mind to something I have never seen you fail." He argued wiping a few tears away and giving her a smile.

"I suppose that's true" she agreed returning his smile with a small one of her own.

"I have faith that we can do this, you want this, I want this. It doesn't have to be overly complicated." He tried, he desperately wanted this relationship to work, and he was willing to do anything to convince her. His feelings for her had been around for a long time and he wasn't about to let her go without a fight. He just needed to convince her that they were worth fighting for.

"That doesn't mean it's the smart decision, so much could go wrong" she protested.

"But so much could go right, are you telling me you don't want to at least try?" he asked her.

"If this doesn't turn out well we still have to work with each other." She reminded him, trying to warn him of the potential issues they would face.

"I know you're not the only one who has thought about all the possible complications that could arise from our relationship. And yet here I am begging you to take me back."

"Yes you are" she smiled.

"Please let's at least give it another try… please" he continued to beg.

"One try that's it something goes wrong we cut our losses got it?" She told him trying to sound stern but failing as her heart soared.

"I got it" he agreed wiping her remaining tears away; once they were gone he pulled her face to his and kissed her.

And just like that all her fears were gone, she trusted him not to break her heart and ruin their careers. She was tired of running away, she was tired of letting her rational mind win all the time. This time she was willing to listen to her heart. Sure the risks were there, but the feelings she felt for him were stronger than she had ever felt before. She didn't want them to fade to a memory. She didn't believe in fairy tales or happily ever after but she was willing to believe in him, in their relationship. She still recognized in the back of her mind that their relationship could end and end badly. But she was willing to take the risk for him.

"I missed you" she whispered.

"I missed you too." He told her continuing to kiss her and soon they were snooggling on the sofa like teenagers.

"One thing" she advised pulling away, there was a final issue they had to discuss and it was going to be a deal breaker.

"Anything" he promised. It didn't matter what she wanted he would do whatever it took.

"No Bad Faith" she replied giving him a look, she never wanted to hear that band again.

"I promise no Bad Faith" he agreed smiling, for her he would throw their cd away.

"Good" and with that she was kissing him once more. And this time it didn't end as morning found them curled up in her bed warm and happy.

A/N Thanks for reading hope you liked it enough to keep reading.


	4. Couldn't Organize One

Couldn't Organize One

"Are you okay? You seem a bit off tonight." Strickland asked Sandra.

They were lying in her bed, in her bedroom, but she no longer thought of it that way, it was quickly becoming their bedroom. After their near relationship ending fight over Jack and their subsequent reconciliation, the two had wasted no time. They quickly moved past going out to dinner and having sex at her place every couple of nights. Somehow they had seamlessly moved on to a new and normal life of domesticity together. The two of them would still go out to dinner but more often than not they got take away and brought it back to her place. Sometimes he would cook though again it usually it was at her home. They had gone to his place a few times but they immediately discovered they enjoyed her place far better.

Sandra's place was bigger and he felt it had a homier feel. He hadn't spent much time decorating his place when he separated from his now ex-wife. His main concern was having someplace where his children could come and stay with him. They came every other weekend and several weeks during the summer holiday and alternating school holidays agreed beforehand between him and his ex.

After his divorce he didn't really want to spend much time at his flat alone it reminded him of what he no longer had. Not that he had wanted to get back with his ex-wife, he knew that their divorce was a good thing for both of him. But he missed coming home to someone, to the laughter and cries of his children all around. If it wasn't his weekend with Rufus and Hermione he found any possible excuse for being away from his house. This meant that he didn't pay much attention to anything in the house that his children didn't interact with. The sofa was important as was the TV but the kitchen only had the basics. He did have a full set of dishes which made him proud when he served Sandra lasagna on it the previous week. It was the comforts of home that his place really lacked. It couldn't even be considered a bachelor pad it was just a place to sleep and eat at. Without the kids running around the place he didn't feel comfortable. He even still had a few unpacked boxes shoved in a closet.

Her place was different it felt like a home where someone actually lived and spent time in, a place that held memories, at least for her. It was a place one could actually rest and relax at when not at work. He liked being there and if Sandra was honest the controlling part of her liked being at her place too. She liked knowing where things were and where they went. And she liked sleeping in her own bed, his was too hard, too new and barely used, hers was perfect and thankfully he thought so too.

They had silently agreed that her place was better for them in every way. She would ask him which place he wanted to go to and he always seemed to say her place which was exactly where she wanted to go as well. In the past she had been a little touchy about having men over to her place, in her space. They always seemed to hang around too long, they started to get on her nerves or moved her stuff around. With him she didn't feel that way she actually liked having him in her space. For the first time in a relationship she began to think of it as their place and not just hers. It had barely been two months of these regular sleepover at her place but it was enough for her to completely change the way she thought and the way she organized her life.

In the past her lack of a work-life balance had caused problems but this time was different. Naturally there were times when she was so deep in a case and she couldn't focus on anything else. She enjoyed his company at dinner and the sex that followed but they could both tell he didn't have her complete attention. And those were on the nights when she actually left the office at a reasonable time, there were many nights she sent him a quick text letting him know she would be working late. This was not a one sided occurrence, he could get just as lost in his work as she would. He would do the same thing if he had an important meeting the next day or a report he had to get done, or a case with another team that require more of his attention. On those occasions they left the other alone, they went home alone to their respective homes. They never got upset over it because they both understood how important work was to the other, they never pushed too hard or nagged too much, the occasional text back and forth possibly a quick call to say good night was all they needed.

They were good at giving each other space when it came to work and Sandra was sure that it made her like him even more. He seemed to be the one person who actually understood her, who respected what she did and let her do it. It did help that he was her boss and he knew exactly what she was working on and how truly important is was. A few times he felt like she was pushing herself too hard and was too caught up in a case. When that happened he would gently suggest she take a step back but she never would. Instead of pushing her to take a break or to let it go, he simply stood back and let her work herself too hard but he made sure he was there to catch her when she enviably crashed back to earth. The bottom line was they trust each other the way they had never been able to trust in the past.

"Sandra are you okay?" he asked again when she didn't respond.

Earlier that day they had arrested Sir Freddie closing their brewery case, it had now turned to night and she was naked wrapped in his arms. Yet she couldn't stop think about what she had found out about her dad. She had been using the case as her excuse for not being able to have dinner and spend the night with him. But it was a lie; her mind had only been partly on the case. Instead she had been focused on Bobby McAdam's comments about her dad. And then she found out things she wished she hadn't. Her dad loved another woman and this woman was a direct cause of his death or so it seemed.

"Hey Sandra" he called shifting around so he could look at her, this movement final got her attention.

"Yes?" she asked him confused she didn't understand the concern in his voice.

"I asked if you were alright?" he was beginning to get worried.

"Yeah sorry lost in thought" she explained.

"Care to share?" he asked gently trying to find out what had her attention.

"When Jack and I went to talk to McAdam he made a comment about my dad… not a good one. It just feels like everyone knows more about my dad than I do." She admitted to him with a great sigh. She hadn't told him about McAdam yet, she had kept all of that bottled up and she was still trying to decide how much to tell him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him with the information she simply wanted it all to just go away.

"I'm sorry I'm just as guilty I should have never said anything about your dad a while back. It was uncalled for and a cheap shot." He apologized to her, he felt bad for throwing her father's past sins at her. It was unfair and out of line and he had never actually told her he was sorry for his comment that day.

"That was one of our first personal spats wasn't it?" She remembered with a smile.

"Yes still I shouldn't have said it." He repeated pulling her closer to him.

"I never told you this but after you made that remark about him I started poking around in his past. I even requested his service record." She had debated whether to tell him that she had been kept in the dark about her dad. As much as she wanted it all to disappear she knew she needed to at least tell him this, he needed to know that she had been lied to.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Because I was beginning to feel like there were things I didn't know , and I was right. I found my dad's death certificate. My mum always told me he died of a heart attack but he didn't he killed himself and no one ever told me." She tried desperately to control her emotions she refused to cry.

"You didn't know?" He questioned shocked; it felt like someone had kicked him in the gut, he thought she knew. He never imagined that the truth had been kept from her and he felt terrible for the part he had played. He would have never made a comment like that if he had known she didn't know, no matter how mad at her he was. He felt responsible for the pain he had caused her and he had no way to make it up to her.

"Nope I didn't know till that case when my mum had a stroke. Then I found out that he was under investigation and Jack was about to arrest him and that's why he killed himself. My mum never said anything and Jack never told me. I was pretty angry at him when I found out." She explained sharing the events from months earlier. She and Jack had avoided the subject as best they could for months and then the trial happened. He disappeared for a while and now that he was back she really just wanted to forget about it. She didn't want to care about it anymore she wanted to leave the past in the past. Sandra now knew why her dad was under investigation. She had the answers she needed there was nothing more to be gained. At this point she didn't even feel Strickland needed to know everything but he did needed to know she had been kept in the dark.

"Christ Sandra I am so sorry I had no idea. If I had known I would have never said anything. God I am such an arsehole." He replied pulling away from her, he felt like the worst person in the world. Suddenly he was pretty sure he had helped destroy her world several months prior. A wave of guilt wash through him, he couldn't believe the harm he had cause her. If her mum had wanted to keep this from her, if Jack had long decided she didn't know, he had no right to destroy it all.

"No you're not you didn't know." She reassured him putting her arms around him once more. She didn't blame him, at least not for that, he needed to know, she didn't want to go through the rest of life naïve to the actual events surrounding her father's death. She didn't want to look like a fool anymore. Ultimately she knew it had not been Jack's intention but she felt it was the end result.

"That's no excused, I knew and I was trying to throw it in your face. That was a totally unacceptable thing for me to do. I am such an idiot how could you ever forgive me." He was quite angry at himself for hurting her in that way.

"All you did was make a comment, you didn't know. You're not the ones who covered it up, my mum and Jack did and I have come to terms with that." She countered trying to calm him, she didn't blame him and he needed to know that.

"And then McAdam makes a comment and brings it all up again." He added with a sigh, for now he was willing to let his guilt go but for her sake not his. He would continue to feel terrible for what he did to her.

"Yeah a little," she gave him a weak smile and moved closer to him once more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her trying to make up for his past transgressions.

Did she? The answer was no she didn't want to talk to him or anyone about what she had found out. She didn't want to talk about her dad cheating on her mum or how he killed the man who killed this woman. Or about the fact that this other woman was a prostitute. Jack, Gerry, and Brian might know but they weren't likely to say anything to Strickland so there was no fear he would find out from anyone but her. She didn't want her father's death to take over their night or any more of her life. She couldn't change what happened to him, she couldn't bring him back no matter what she did. Right now she wanted to move on to be with Strickland and to just be happy.

"No I don't want to talk about my dad as I lay naked in bed with you especially after what we just did." She informed with a wicked smile moving the conversation away from her father.

"I guess I will just have to keep finding ways to distract you from those thoughts then." He replied climbing on top of her and kissing her passionately. If she didn't want to talk about it he was going to make sure she was too amused elsewhere to even think about it.

"Oh I am sure you are well up for the challenge" she agreed with a laugh.

"I am" he kissed her again and then pulled away. "Did I hear something about Gerry getting into a fight with one of the evidence guys?" He asked as his mind flashed back to earlier that day.

"Do you really want to talk about Gerry right now?" she asked him as she began to kiss and nip at his neck.

"No I most certainly do not" he answered honestly. He didn't want Gerry anywhere near their sex life, even if it was just his name.

"That's what I thought" she said capturing his lips in hers.

A/N I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and are still enjoying the store over all, thank you for the very kind and sweet reviews.


	5. Magic Majestic

Magic Majestic

"I missed you" Sandra said kissing Strickland as they sat curled up on the sofa after a nice dinner.

He had spent the last seven days in Spain on a golf holiday without her. This was the first time they had really been apart from each other for a full week. She knew it sounded silly as they had barely been together for four months but she had really missed him. She hadn't realized how blended their lives already were until he wasn't there anymore.

"I missed you too you should have come with me." He replied pulling her closer to him. The week had been fun but he realized how empty his life now was without her.

"On a golfing holiday, you've got to be joking." She pulled back slightly giving him a look. She had made it clear to him on more than one occasion what she really thought of the so called sport.

"I get it you don't like golf but the place had a very lovely pool and a wonderful hot tub and a spa I'm sure you could have found something to entertain you." He told her thinking back over his holiday.

"As great as that sounds if I am going on holiday with you I want to spend it with you." She informed him as she kissed him again. In her mind if she was going to actually take the huge step of going on holiday with a man she was damn well going to spend the week with him. If they went off on own what was the point? Then it was just a solo trip where you shared a room with the person you were sleeping with.

"I can't argue with that." He agreed leaning down and capturing her lips in hers. He only pulled back when the need for air became too great. A week away from her was far too long in his mind. "Anything interesting happening while I was gone?" He asked trying to seem interested in her week and he honestly was curious as to what she got up to while he was away for the week.

"No not really." It was a lie but she didn't want to ruin the night with the details of her latest strange case. She couldn't say that the case had gone well, they may have solved it and caught a killer but the road to catching the killer had done some damage to Brian and then they lost their killer. She knew their murder wouldn't get far but that didn't make it any easier knowing he had escaped from custody, not that she was planning on sharing that fact with him tonight. Yet she was still worried about Brian and how affected he had been by Brandon Skye's tricks. This was another piece of information she was reluctant to share with him right now.

He would see in a minute that she had taken full advantage of his absences and had pursued this case knowing he was unlikely to approve. He was definitely going be unhappy with both her and her team for their actions during this case. They may have made it four months together but that didn't mean they had managed to avoid fighting with each other over work. He made sure she knew when he disapproved of something her and her boys had done and she didn't back down, she would challenge him and she would push him. Yet through it all they managed to stay professional at least at work. Home was a different story they didn't hold anything back once they got home but they didn't make threats that they weren't prepared to follow through on. She would never tell him she would look for a new job and he wouldn't threaten to fire one of her guys.

At home anything was fair game there was no way to separate the work from their home life. They had engaged in a few rather big rows over both work and non-work issues they had with each other. She had even refused to let him sleep in the same bed as her forcing him to make his way either back to his place or sleep on the sofa. He usually chose the sofa which secretly made her very happy in a rather perverse way. The most important thing was they had been able to find a balance between work and home and they were thrilled. All Sandra's fears about what might happen had disappeared and she had to admit she hadn't been this happy in a very long time. It was a big surprising that the boys hadn't picked up on her improved mood, it was just another reason why she needed to tell them sooner rather than later. But not yet.

The two of them had managed to keep some control and their private life didn't interfere with work. Sandra had set down a few rules when it came to the office. No kissing where anyone could see them, intimate gestures or touching could only happen if they were sure no one could catch them. And office sex was to be avoided at all costs but if it did happen it had to be behind a lock door preferably when it was later at night. And finally their relationship had to remain a secret. After their near break up both Sandra and Strickland realized they both liked their current working relationship along with their personal one. This meant they had to keep their feelings for each other a secret from just about everyone.

She knew she couldn't keep this a secret from Gerry, Jack, and Brian forever but for the time being she didn't want them to know. She was more than a little worried about how they would react. Strickland was not their favorite person, in fact they nearly hated the man, she knew they wouldn't like the idea of the two of them dating. Sure Gerry had joked about it but he would lose his head if he knew they were actually sleeping together. Jack would be more reserved but he too would not like the idea, he would worry about her, he would fear Strickland was taking advantage of her in some way. And then there was Brian who hated change and could very well have a break down when he found out. She also worried that they would tell someone, not out of a malicious intent but with the misguided belief that they were helping her. She just needed a little more time to find a good way to tell them.

"Why don't I believe you?" he smiled at her in response to her statement regarding work. The only time he had ever known her to have an uneventful week was when she wasn't actually working on a case.

"I'm hurt" she cried, her wounded pride would have been more believable had she managed to keep herself from laughing.

"Now I really don't believe you" this time he laughed as well when he said it.

"Nothing you really want to hear about." She admitted hoping that would be enough to stop him asking more questions.

"That has me worried" the smile on his face fell and he truly was beginning to worry.

"You can read all about it tomorrow. The case is solved." She informed him between kisses hoping it would distract him as she really didn't want to explain the case to him and risk a fight on his first night back.

"I guess if the case is all over and done with I shouldn't worry about it...except...no just tell me the worst part, the part you're trying to hide." He decided pulling away from her kiss. He knew for sure now that she was trying to hide something and he didn't want an unhappy surprise when he arrived into work the following morning. He knew she was trying to avoid a fight but he had no intention of starting one, he honestly didn't care if they ended up breaking into Buckingham Palace and stole the Queen's diary. He was too happy to be back home with her to even care, he just wanted to know what to expect when he returned to work.

"Fine, Brian was hypnotized into thinking he was drunk he took my rental car and then drove it into a ditch." She told him quickly to get it all out at once as if that would make it better.

"I would be concerned if that wasn't the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, you can hypnotize someone into thinking they are drunk?" He couldn't believe he was actually hearing her correctly. The three of them stealing the Queen's diary almost sounded more believable.

"Apparently" she confirmed, had she not seen it with her own eyes she probably wouldn't believe it either. She really had believed Brian was drunk he was acting as if he was, she had been incredibly worried about him until officers confirmed he didn't have a drop of alcohol in him.

"Isn't that dangerous?" he questioned her. He couldn't even imagine why someone would want to hypnotize as person into thinking they were drunk.

"I would think so" she agreed thinking about Brian and her car, he could have seriously hurt himself or someone else all because Brandon Skye wanted to play games with them.

"Don't you ever have normal cases?" He couldn't resist asking, she seemed to solve the weirdest cases. The most surprising part of it was the part where she actual manage to solve them, she didn't just try she actually found the murderer and closed the case getting it off the books.

"Not usually but when I get into work tomorrow I will ask my boss for one." She told him as she began kissing him once more. She quickly climbed on top of him straddling him as she began to enjoy having him home once more.

"I change my mind I don't want to know anymore about this case." He replied giving into her advances.

"Good man especially when we have a whole week to make up for." She reminded his as she continued to kiss him, playfully teasing him with her tongue.

"I really did miss you, you know that" he told her softly.

"I know you told me every time we talked on the phone which only made it worse" she moaned in his ear.

"I missed kissing you" he said peppering her neck with little kisses "and I missed holding you while we watch television. I missed that look you get when I annoy you by talking while you are watching something." He complained seductively as he hands roamed over her body.

"And threaten to kick you out if you don't shut up" she reminded him as a grin spread over her face.

"No, that part I didn't miss" he replied and she playfully hit him. "Hey" he cried but quickly began to laugh.

"What else did you miss?" she whispered in his ear.

"I missed not getting to eat dinner with you and having morning coffee with you. And I really missed all the fun we've been having these past couple of months before I had to go away. Especially all the fun we have been having in your bedroom."

"Had to go away? I am pretty sure a conference is something you have to go away for. A golfing holiday is Spain is something you want to go on." She commented pulling away and giving him a look.

"It was booked, I wanted to go but I didn't want to leave you" he tried to explain.

"I'm not going to feel that sorry for you, you got to go away and I had to stay here and work and miss you on top of it all." She pouted to him.

"Then I will just have to find a way to make it up to you." He made his point by kissing her all over, any exposed skin was fair game to his attacks.

"I'm open to suggestions?" she replied stretching her neck giving him even more real estate to kiss.

"Let me think on it." He replied as he continued to explore her perfect skin.

"Right now why don't we go upstairs and start making up for that missed week." She suggested playfully pulling away and standing up.

"Sounds like an excellent place to start. And I can show you the present I got you." He gave her a look that told her exactly what kind of present he had brought her back.

"Now you have my attention" she responded grabbing his hand.

"When you wear it you will have my complete attention." He whispered in her ear as he followed her upstairs to the bedroom.

A/N Not to repeat myself but I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for the very nice reviews.


	6. Communal Living

Communal Living

"Would you be okay with an eighteen year old sleeping with your fifteen year old daughter? I know she isn't fifteen yet but when she is would you?" Sandra asked Strickland as they were watching television that night.

"What?" Strickland coughed choking on his beer. "Hell no!" he exclaimed when he could finally breath, he was thrown by her question and had naturally strong objection to the topic.

"Good I'm not crazy then, my dad would have flipped if I tried something like that. Probably would have locked me in my room" she replied. Her mind was still on the case they had closed involving a nearby commune. She didn't think she would ever understand how a group of people would let something like that happen, even if the two were in love it just felt wrong.

"Yes I would have expected he would. I can just imagine fifteen year old you, tall leggy blond spitfire, he would have had to lock you up you just to keep the boys away." He said with a mischievous smile directed at her, but he couldn't get the though of his own daughter out of his mind thanks to her. "Though you are assuming I would ever be okay with someone sleeping with my daughter even after she is married. Can you still send your kids to live in a convent?" He asked envisioning his daughter locked up and protected by a group of very imposing nuns.

"No I don't think so" she answered honestly trying hard not to laugh. She had yet to meet his daughter but she could just imagine the fight that would ensue if he ever tried to restrict her to a life in a convent.

"Where the hell is this coming from?" he questioned. To him the topic seemed to come out of the blue.

"This case we just finished, one of the guys at the commune let his daughter sleep with our victim even though she was fifteen and he was eighteen. His reasoning was they were going to do it anyway, this way they could be safe." She tried to explain to him. His reasoning sounded good on the surface but to her it felt more like an excuse for neglectful parenting than anything else.

"That is one hell of a place." He countered thinking about his children, maybe he was too controlling but he would never agree to let either of his kids engage in that type of activity while under age. It was very possible they could get up to it behind his back but there was a big difference in them sneaking around and him sanctioning underage sex with a legal adult.

"Tell me about it." She exhaled relaxing back into the sofa now that her curiosity was satisfied and she knew for sure she was not the insane one.

"Speaking of children" he began carefully, he wanted to suggest something but he didn't want to spook her. And since she had mentioned his daughter this seemed like the best segue he was going to get.

"I didn't know we were" she replied unsure where he was going with this. She couldn't help the knot that was forming in her stomach. They hadn't talked all that much about his children over the past six months of their relationship. Sure she would ask how his weekends went with them, the usual questions that you asked about when you talked to someone about their kids. Yet they had never really address the subject of his kids and their relationship. She didn't like to focus on that part of his life much because it made her nervous. The thought of his children scared the hell out of her, not that she would ever tell him. In the back of her mind she knew how it worked when you dated someone with children, they were a package you either fit in to their life or you didn't last very long.

"What would you think of meeting Rufus and Hermione?" He held his breath hoping she would not become upset. He had been avoiding this part of their relationship for as long as he could. He understood children were intimidating, women turned him down for dates or stopped calling when they found out he had children. He knew Sandra wasn't like that but it was another step in their relationship, a big one and he didn't want to push his children or Sandra into something too soon. He had wait this long already because he didn't want them to meet until he had been sure that their relationship could become something long term. But now he was sure, he wanted to be with Sandra for a long time and he knew the longer he waited to introduce them the harder it would be.

"Your kids?" she asked unsure if she hearing him correctly. She knew he was up to something when brought up the subject of children but she still hadn't been prepared for it.

"Yes my kids" he confirmed giving her an encouraging smile.

"What, like meeting them as your girlfriend?"she asked still trying to process what he was saying, hoping he would change his mind and wait a little longer.

"Yeah" he replied calmly.

"I didn't know we were telling people, the guys don't know." Anxiety was rising inside her; she sat up pulling away from him a little she was fighting her instinct that told her to run away.

"I thought you didn't want them to know?" He asked, he could see her panic a little bit and he hopped that if he remained calm she would calm down.

"I don't, but you want to tell your kids?" Her head was spinning and she was feeling a little light headed.

"Yes I do, you are important to me, they are important to me. They'll love you." He told her taking her hand in his.

"And what exactly are you basing that on?" she blurted out, she thought they had a little more time before she had to face his children in person.

"The fact that I love you" he kissed her hand to prove his point. It was the first time he had ever said those words to her and he knew it was a risky move. He could see the abject fear in her eyes. She was beginning to resemble a cornered animal desperate for a way out.

"Okay whoa big step there. First just because you love me doesn't mean they will and second you love me? When did that happen?" Everything was happening too fast, she felt light headed and it was hard to breath. She was afraid of that word. She pulled her hand back and stood up wrapping her arms around herself.

"I don't know when I realized it did but I do. And I think you should meet my kids." He wanted to take her in his arms and reassure her that everything would be okay, but he knew she needed a little space to accept what he was telling him.

"But what if it goes horribly wrong, will you love me then?" She asked beginning to pace as the fear mounted.

"Of course I will." He stood up giving in to his desires and stopped her, taking her in his arms and kissing the top of her head.

"What about Gerry, Jack, and Brian?" she whispered resting her head against her chest much to his relief.

"I've already me them," he joked

"I can't tell them they will likely to lose it and even if they don't they can't keep a secret," she moaned

"Yes they can" he reassured her, he knew they couldn't hide their relationship from the men for too much longer. He knew Sandra did too she just didn't want to admit it.

"Still, I can't tell them, not yet I have to find the right time." She begged him, the time had to be just right and far away from anything breakable.

"That's fine but I want you to meet my kids." He knew that telling the guys would come when she was ready and he wouldn't push her. But he was ready for her to meet his children and deep down he felt she was ready too he just needed her to realize it as well.

"Can they keep a secret?" she asked him not thinking much before the words came out.

"Who are they going to tell? Roo is six and Hermione is ten so no they can't keep a secret." He couldn't help but laugh as her ridiculous question.

"This is a bad idea they will hate me." She tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let her.

"No they won't" he promised rubbing her back.

"Kids don't like me" she moaned into his shoulder.

"And you have had extensive experience to prove this?"

"No that's the problem" she exclaimed. She never had all that much opportunity to be around kids, she had no idea how to handle them, they scared her and the thought of his kids scared her so much more. They were the most important children she would ever meet and she knew she would find a way to screw it up.

"They will be here in a couple weeks. You can just stop by for lunch test out the waters we don't even have to tell them right away that you are my girlfriend, just meet them see how it goes." He proposed to her, it would be something simple and easy for both her and his kids.

"Fine I don't seem to have much of a choice" she sighed conceding defeat. That didn't mean the fear was gone she just couldn't find a way out. Not without actually running away and hiding in another country which did not seem to be a realistic option.

"No not really, though I don't want to force this on you I want you to be okay with this you are important to me and they are very important to me." He tried to reassure her once more.

"So you said…okay I am willing to try the start small approach. Next time you have them I will come over for dinner instead of lunch and we do it at your place so it is on their turf and I have an easy out when they hate me." She said taking a deep breath trying to calm her fears and looking up at him.

"They won't hate you" he tried to reassure her.

"You don't know that for sure." She countered biting her lower lip.

"I know you are worried about them liking you which tells me how important it is to you." He kissed her, the fact that she was worried made him love her more.

"Of course I am worried, if they don't like me that is it." She explained bluntly pulling away from his kiss.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused, he had no intention of letting her go any times soon.

"You can't date someone your kids don't like," she explained.

"Says who?" he countered.

"Seriously?" she thought he would understand this, he couldn't honestly think it would work out between them if his kids hated him.

"Just because they don't like you initially doesn't mean they won't end up liking you. Kids change their mind about everything many times. I can't keep track of which veggies Roo is okay eating this month." He successfully managed to pull her back down on to the sofa taking her into his arms once more hoping to comfort her.

"Did you just compare me to vegetables?" She couldn't help feeling a bit offended.

"I may have sorry."

"It's okay, but I think you are being naïve. The moment your kids hate me you are going to second guess all of this," she told him.

"You think so little of me?" It was his turn to feel offended.

"No quite the opposite I know how great a dad you are, those kids mean the world to you and you would do anything for them."

"You mean a lot to me too" he said kissing her.

"But these are your kids" she replied pulling away.

"And I know them if they don't like you immediately they will come round I'm not going to give up after one visit. I told you I love you." She knew he meant it too, she sat there looking at him biting her lip for a little while, and finally she took a deep breath. She couldn't believe what she was about to say.

"I think I love you too and I really hate saying that word." She expected to feel terrible anxiety overtake her but she actually felt relaxed and she gave him a big smile.

"I know" he returned her smile . Strickland knew what a big step it was for her to tell him she loved him; he hadn't expected her to say it back to him right away. He thought it was important that she knew how he felt, that was the only reason he had told her.

"So we are actually going to do this, meet the kids?" She asked feeling a bit more confident maybe he was right maybe he could convince them to like her.

"If you're ready?" he had meant it when he said he wanted her to be up for this.

"Yeah well we'll never know till we try." She replied still feeling less convinced than she sounded.

"They are with me for a long holiday weekend in two weeks and they are all mine Thursday thru Monday. Friday night dinner sound good? I could take them to the zoo and then I'll get take away whatever they want and you can meet us at my place as you requested." He proposed with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan." She was almost beginning to believe she could pull this off.

"Everything will be fine" he promised kissing her.

"I know" she said unconvincingly.

They're just children" he added trying to sooth her.

"Your children" she countered.

"I mean it I love you."

"How do you know?"

"Oh of this I have no doubt" he replied and he couldn't help but flashed her a large smile.

"I love you too." She said it again and she found she was very happy to have said because she meant it.

"I do know what it means for you to say that and I never thought I would actually be worthy."

"You are very worthy. I never thought I would actually say that to anyone again, but I don't feel as scared saying it to you as I thought I would. Actually I'm more scared of meeting your kids." She admitted to him.

"Forget about the kids for now." He said climbing on time of her and she was all too happy to follow his request.

A/N The next chapter is about Sandra meeting his kids and a bunch other stuff happens as well. I am going to apologize in advance because it is the longest chapter ever I'm sorry so maybe just be prepared cause I don't want to scare anyone off. I will have it posted some time tomorrow. Hoped you liked this one and thank you so much for the reviews.


	7. Kids

A/N This is the first of the chapters that do not build off or follow an episode and it is the longest of all the chapters. I really do like this chapter and it is very important for all the chapters that follow, unfortunately it is super long because a lot of stuff happens and I couldn't bare to break the story by slicing it in to multiple chapters. I just don't want anyone scared off by the length I hope you all enjoy, again sorry it is long I really hope it is good enough and you like it.

Kids

Sandra woke up early but that was only if you could consider the tossing and turning she had done all night sleeping. Today was the day-the day she was meeting Hermione and Rufus and she was nervous. She had taken down drug dealers and murders and had never felt this nervous. If given the choice she would have gladly faced one of them today over the two children.

Strickland could tell her whatever he wanted but she knew if they didn't like her, if he couldn't get them to like her, then it was the beginning of the end for their relationship. He would say it didn't matter, but as time went on he would find he couldn't be with someone his kids didn't like and didn't want to spend time with.

Taking a deep breath she forced herself to get out of bed and dress for the day. Her plan was to get to work early thereby allowing her to leave early. She wanted plenty of time to get ready, she knew she needed to look just right when she met the two children. They had already decided he would simply introduce her as a friend and see how it went. She really wanted the two children to like her, she was terribly happy with their father and didn't want to end it now.

To her relief the three men of UCOS were all in favor of coming to work early. If it meant they got to go to the pub early on a Friday they were willing to come in at the crack of dawn. As she drove to work she desperately hoped the guys wouldn't pick up on her nervous state throughout the day. All she told them was she had a thing she needed to go to and for once they didn't press her. They all had agreed seven was a good time to start the day, yet when she pulled into the car park it wasn't even 6:45. The sun had only just risen but she couldn't bear to sit at home thinking about everything that could go wrong.

As she walked through the car park she was lost in thought thinking about that evening and she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. There were very few people up and about at this hour of morning. It was quite and she wasn't expecting to run in to anyone, and therefore she failed to notice the man who was suddenly in her path.

"Sorry" she mumbled as she practically bumped into him. It was only when he didn't respond that she looked up at him. He didn't look like the type of person who belonged in a police car park without wearing a pair of handcuffs but she quickly dismissed the thought and went to move around him. He moved so fast she never even saw the brick in his hand but she did feel it as it made contact with the left side of her forehead. The sharp pain was the last thing she felt as the world went black around her.

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Jack, Gerry, and Brian had all managed to arrive at the car park at practically the same moment. Brian waited with his bike as the two men parked their cars and joined him. Once together Jack and Gerry followed Brian as he pushed the bike towards the building, the three chatted quietly as they walked.

"Empty and quite this time of the morning" Gerry observed with a smile coffee in hand. He was enjoying the early morning air but most of all he was looking forward to the day and getting done early.

"When was the last time you were even here this early?" Jack asked him, he was trying to remember his own answer. It would have been many years earlier sometime before he retired.

"You know I don't know" Gerry answered honestly thinking about the question.

"Come on Jack you know Gerry is the type of person who stays in bed as long as possible" Brian laughed.

"How foolish of me, I forgot how much he hates to sleep alone" Jack teased.

"Laugh all you want but I will take a bit of naughty over a cold bed any day." He informed them with a grin. The two other men began to laugh and after a few moments Gerry joined in.

Their laughter came to an immediate halt as they turned the corner to find their boss lying on the ground a pool of blood near her head.

"Sandra" Jack yelled as he quickly bent down to check and make sure she was alive. His heart was in his throat as he tried to find a pulse. "Gerry call an ambulance" he cried finally finding a beat and thankfully it was strong. He tried to look at the wound but there was so much blood everywhere. He quickly pulled out his handkerchief and pressed it to her head but to his dismay it was soaked with blood in no time.

"Sandra can you hear me?" he called trying to wake her. "Sandra?" His heart was pounding in his ears he was terrified she wouldn't wake up.

To his relief her eyes opened a little bit. "Jack" she murmured "what happened?"

"We were about to ask you, don't move an ambulance is coming" he told her but by the time he said the words her eyes were closed once more.

A few excruciating minutes later the ambulance finally arrived and the paramedics swarmed all over her and before the three of them knew what was happening they were loading her into the ambulance. Jack followed and got in the back with Sandra, there was no way he was letting her go to the hospital all alone. A small crowd had gathered and Jack had to yell through them so his colleagues could hear.

"You two get a team working on this have them check CCTV I want to find the bastard who did this then meet me at the hospital." He ordered Gerry and Brian, he was trying to stay focused but his fear was threatening to consume him.

"Will do" Gerry cried, both he and Brian watched as the ambulance drove away, standing there they couldn't help but worry about their boss and friend. Jack hardly needed to tell them what to do, there was no way someone went around trying to kill their Sandra and got away with it.

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Two hours later Gerry and Brian found Jack in one of the hospital waiting rooms, he was sitting alone and he looked far from relaxed. His face was pale and he was wringing his hands.

"How is she?" Gerry asked sitting down in the empty chair next to him and Brian followed suit.

"I don't know anything they took her somewhere and I haven't seen her since, they haven't told me much. All they said was they were going to stitch up her head and then get some tests done. Do we know what happened? How the hell did she end up bleeding on the ground?" he growled. If he couldn't help her he was going to make sure they got the person responsible.

"Apparently the murder squad has been looking for a suspect by the name of Benny Adams and they don't know why-"

"Except that he is off his rocker" Brian interjected.

"Yes for whatever reason, he was hiding out in the car park, Sandra turned a corner there he was, she tried to get past him and he hit her on the head and ran off. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Gerry told him with a sigh, he couldn't get the image of Sandra on ground out of his mind.

They all knew there were dangers that came from working for the police but they were supposed to be safe in the Met car park. There was no reason Sandra should have been in any danger as she walked from her car to the office. Gerry was angry at himself for not protecting her, angry at the murder team for not keeping an eye on the creep. And he couldn't help but think how she wasn't even supposed to be there, they normally didn't get to work till nearly nine. Had they just stuck to their normal routine she would be fine right now.

"And all cause she came in early. I wondered why she needed to leave early today? She never did tell us what she was planning on doing tonight." Brian asked as though he was reading Gerry's mind.

"Well whatever it is I think it is safe to say she won't be doing it." Jack added flatly. The experience had terrified all three of them, they were worried and Jack was tired of sitting there waiting for a damn doctor to talk to them.

"Did they say how long it would be?" Gerry asked, he stood up and began pacing the room he couldn't sit there and wait.

"No they didn't say anything to me except to wait here." Jack snapped at him. "Don't you think I want to know what the hell is going on with her?" He growled taking his frustration out on the other man.

"Sorry" Gerry apologized he hated not being able to do anything, it wasn't a position he found himself in very often. "There was just so much blood I wish they would say if she is alright." Gerry sighed looking at the door.

"Don't you think I know how bad it could be, with that much blood she could be dying for all we know" Jack yelled at him once more.

"Don't you dare say that Jack" Gerry growled as he stopped pacing and spun around to face the other man fixing a glare on his co-worker.

"Sit down Gerry" Brian ordered. "Everything is going to be fine we just need to stay calm, we won't do any good fighting with each other." Brian yelled at both of them. The two immediately obeyed him as they quickly stopped fighting and Gerry sat back down. It was strange to have Brian as the voice of reason.

"You're right Brian sorry" Jack sighed and Gerry nodded.

"I'll go get us some coffee unless you want tea?" Brian asked. He was trying to come up with anything to keep everyone calm.

"Coffee" the other two said in unison. With a nod Brian stood up and left.

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"You the guys who came in with Sandra Pullman?" the doctor asked when he finally came to talk to them three cups of coffee and an hour later. The three men had managed to remain calmer and refrained from fighting any more. They knew Sandra would be less than pleased if she found out they had been fighting each other while she was unconscious in hospital. That thought was enough to keep them from having another row.

"Yeah that us" Jack told him as the three stood up nervously.

"We got her head stitched up, test show everything is okay inside and she sustained only a mild concussion. She passed out initially because of the head injury but she has been in and out of consciousness over the last three hours mainly due to the sudden blood loss. Stopping the bleeding has our biggest concern but it has stopped now and she is doing better. We got some fluids in her and she won't need a transfusion but she is going to be fatigued for the next few days after that she should be back to normal. We're going to watch her for a couple more hours to monitor the head injury just to be safe. If she is up to eating and drinking a bit and if everything stays the same she can leave this afternoon and go home." The doctor informed them reading the information off the medical chart in his hand.

"She can leave? Does she need to be watched with her head wound?" Gerry asked.

"Not really, she just needs sleep as I said she only has a mild concussion. There is no bruising or bleeding on her brain. We did thorough tests and as I said we will continue to monitor her for a few hours to make sure nothing changes but then she can go home if she promises to go to bed and rest for several days. Now she is in a lot of pain, we have given her medication for it and I will send her home with some pills. Needless to say one of you will need to drive her home. The medication is a little strong it will make her sleepy she really should stay home as long as she is taking them to be safe, but above all no driving. She is currently asleep you can go in but try not to wake her yet. The more she rests the better." He explained further stressing the importance of his words.

"Don't worry doctor we won't wake her and we'll take her home and make sure she gets some rest." Jack promised the man and the other two nodded in agreement. Satisfied the doctor proceeded to take them to Sandra.

As they entered the room, she was lying in the bed asleep just as the doctor had said. What he hadn't told them was how pale she looked; it was shocking to see their feisty boss so still and fragile. She had an IV in her arm and Brian took a glance at the bag.

"Fluids to help with the blood loss" he told the other two.

"How much blood do you think she lost?" Gerry asked quietly making sure he didn't wake her.

"Head wounds can bleed a lot very quickly and they can be hard to stop. She could have lost a liter maybe a bit more." Gerry and Jack looked at the man for further explanation as to how much blood that actually was. "The average adult has about four to five liters of blood in the body." Brian explained to them with an exasperated sigh, even retired coppers should know how much blood the body holds.

"So she could have lost a quarter of her blood?" Gerry asked in shock.

"Yes" Brian confirmed more calmly then Gerry was feeling.

"How long was she lying there?" Jack asked. The three where now sitting around the bed watching Sandra sleep.

"About fifteen minutes" Brian answered and Gerry nodded in agreement, they had watched it all on the CCTV footage.

"Good thing we found her when we did." Jack replied trying hard not to worry about the woman in the bed in front of him. The doctor said she would be fine and he was choosing to believe the man. She had to be alright there was no way Sandra Pullman could be brought down by one man with a brick.

All three could not stop thinking about what might have happened had they not shown up when they did. They were no longer in the mood to talk and they silently waited for Sandra to wake up. They needed to see her eyes full of life to know she was truly going to be alright.

It was almost two hours later by the time she finally opened her eyes. The nurse checked her over taking her vials and preformed some routine tests to check her concussion. Once the nurse was satisfied with her condition she brought Sandra some food and told her to eat as much as she could. To the guy's displeasure she ate only half of it,they tried to convince her to eat more but she insisted she wasn't hungry. She was thirsty though and it did make them feel a little better to watch her drink several glasses of water. Refilling her glass also gave them something productive to do, something to feel as though they were helping her. They refrained from asking her questions until after she was fed and relaxing in the bed once more.

"How much do you remember?" Jack asked her once she was settled the pillows helping her sit up.

"I was in the car park nearly inside when there was a man in my way. I think I got hit, it hurt and then nothing until now. What happened?" She asked closing her eyes and rubbing her temples, her head was killing her. She knew she had been hit on the head she could feel the giant bandage taped to her forehead, she just didn't remember it happening.

"The murder squad lost their suspect, a total nutter, he was hiding in the car park and he hit you with a brick and ran away." Jack informed her, he kept it simple but he didn't sugar coat it.

"Don't worry I got a call about an hour and ago and they caught him" Gerry reassured her.

"When can I go home?" she asked finally opening her eyes again. She hated hospitals and her only thought was how soon she could get out.

"Well as long as your brain doesn't swell up the doctor said you can go home in a couple hours." Brian answered as the other two men glared at him for his frank choice of words. "Your clothes are covered in blood and I think they are evidence." He continued on not understanding their looks.

"We'll find you some scrubs to wear" Jack assured her quickly trying to undo any damage Brian may have just caused.

"Thanks Jack" she said giving him a weak smile.

"So how do you feel?" Gerry asked.

"Fuzzy it is hard to concentrate and I'm exhausted. My head hurts and it feels heavy… hard to move." She answered touching the bandage on her forehead it itched a little and she had to stop herself from scratching.

"Most of that will be from the blood loss. They stitched you back up though and you should feel all better in a few days." Jack replied giving her a reassuring smile. Now that she was awake he was feeling much more confident that she really would get soon better.

"You're gonna hurt a lot worse tomorrow but they are sending you home with drugs for the pain." Gerry told her grinning when he got to the drug part.

"And they'll help you sleep" Brian added.

She knew they were being overly nice to her because they were worried. Normally she would have called them out on it but she was tired and it was too hard to focus on them at the moment. She felt her eyes closing against her will. It was too hard to stay awake. Over the next few hours the three men kept her company as she dozed on and off.

It was almost three in the afternoon when the doctor returned to check on her once more. After strict instructions to go home and rest for the next few days she was finally allowed to leave. Gerry offered to drive her home while the other two took a taxi back to the office.

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"Hey do you think we should let Strickland know Sandra got hurt?" Brian wondered when they finally made it back to the office.

"Doesn't he have the day off?" Jack inquired, he didn't like the idea of having to tell Sandra's boss that she had been hurt, he didn't know exactly how the man would react. Strickland could over react and Jack would have preferred to leave this between the team.

"Yeah but isn't that what you're supposed to do when someone gets hurt at work, tell their boss?" Brian pushed the last thing he wanted was Strickland angry at Sandra when she got back to the office.

"I am sure he will be thrilled with the paperwork. I'll call him." Jack replied reluctantly, yet he knew Brian was right, the man needed to know, regardless of how much they wanted to keep him out of their business.

Strickland's kids had just finished their ice cream when his mobile went off. The id read 'Jack Halford' and he almost didn't answer. It was his day off, his day to spend with his children and he felt guilty answering a call from work. Yet he was a DAC and not answering a work call even on his day off was not much of an option. He did fleetingly wonder why Jack was calling and not Sandra but he honestly didn't care all he wanted was to get rid of the man as quickly as possible.

"You guys go look at the elephants I have to take this." He called as they ran the few meters to the exhibits ahead.

"Jack this better be good." He growled as he answered his phone.

"Well I wouldn't say good but we thought you would want to know." Jack replied stalling he was not eager to tell the man what happened.

"We? Who is we? Where is Sandra?" He demanded, he wished Jack would just get to the point and leave him be. And again he wondered why it was Jack and not his girlfriend calling.

He was surprise he hadn't heard from Sandra all day, he had been expecting at least one frantic phone call but she had been silent. He had been so busy with his kids he had failed to notice but now that Jack was on the phone he suddenly realized how quite she had been. Hopefully that didn't mean she was having second thoughts about this dinner and meeting his children.

"It's about her." Jack replied pulling him out of his thoughts." She was attacked in the car park a little before seven this morning." Jack informed him quickly.

"What! You mean the car park at work? Who attacked her? Is she alright? Where is she?" He yelled into the phone, firing off question one after another. He couldn't believe what Jack was saying, it wasn't possible. Sandra couldn't be hurt she just couldn't be.

"Yes at work, it was a nutter the murder squad lost track of. He hit her on the head with a brick. She only lost a bit of blood we got an ambulance to take her to the hospital. The doctors stitched her up and they sent her home to rest." Jack told him leaving a few details out. He reasoned what the man didn't know couldn't hurt anyone at least until he go back to work.

"She got hit with a brick? And the doctors sent her home? Is someone with her?" Strickland bellowed running his hand through his hair. He didn't like the sound of any of it, terror along with panic began to rise inside him.

"The doctor said she was fine just some blood loss and a minor concussion. He told us she just needed rest no one needs to watch her." Jack explained trying to calm him down, he was a bit surprised the younger man was so upset.

"You left her alone?" He was practically yelling at this point and he got a few strange looks from the other people around him at the zoo.

"Gerry drove her home he should be on his way back now" Jack continued. He had not expected Strickland to be this upset and he was trying to find a way to end the conversation as quickly as possible. The last thing they needed or wanted was the man stirring everything up, the situation had been dealt with, the call to him was just a courtesy.

"I can't believe you left her alone I don't care what the doctors said. And why am I just hearing about this now, hours later? I should have been told as soon as it happened." His head was spinning, it felt as though a hole had opened up in his stomach.

"There wasn't anything you could do. She is fine. We'll check on her later there is no reason to get upset. You don't have to worry about anything I promise we have this all under control. Enjoy the rest of your day. Bye sir." Jack said hanging up before Strickland could yell at him anymore.

"What the-" he growled as the line went dead.

Strickland took a deep breath trying in vain to get his racing heart under control. He had to remind himself that the three men had no idea that he and Sandra where together. Jack had no idea how important she was to him. He had no idea what he would do if something serious ever happened to her. That didn't mean he trust the three men to actually have the situation under control they had left Sandra alone. He needed to calm down yet right now he was anything but calm and until he saw for himself that she was fine he wouldn't be able to calm down. He quickly walked over to where his children stood watching the elephants.

"Hey guys" he said coming to stand next to them.

"Do you have to go to work Dad?" Hermione asked with a sad look on her face.

"No sweetheart but we are going to have to go now, we can come back tomorrow if you want." He told them leading them away from the animals.

"Nah, the elephants where the last animals to see, what's wrong Dad?" Roo asked sensing his father was upset.

"A friend of mine was hurt and I need to go make sure they are okay. And we need to go right now, I'm sorry guys" he apologized to his children for cutting the afternoon short.

"It's okay. How did they get hurt?" Hermione asked him, she was far more interested in his friend than the zoo animals.

"A bad guy hurt her in the car park at my work." He replied walking a little faster as he thought about what Jack had told him. He missed his daughters eyes grow big when he said 'she'.

Hermione was surprised her dad had never had a friend who was a girl before, at least not one she had ever met. She couldn't help but wonder who this woman was. One thing was clear whoever 'she' was her dad was worried about her a lot. That made the girl very interested and almost excited to see the person who could make her father that concerned. She had never seen him walk so fast, she and Rufus has to run to keep up with.

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Strickland drove as quickly and safely as he could to Sandra's house. He could tell both his kids wanted to ask him more questions but thankfully they understood now wasn't the time. He cursed at every red light that slowed them down, he thought about trying to call her but if she had a head injury it was unlikely she would answer the phone. Once they reached her house he parked in her empty driveway and bolted toward the front door his kids following behind him.

"Sandra" he yelled as he bursts through her door. He received no answer as he searched her first floor.

"Hermione, Roo why don't you guys go watch some TV. Nothing your mum wouldn't want you to watch." He warned quickly pointing them towards the living room as he made his way back to the stairs.

He raced up to her bedroom as fast as he could taking the stairs two at a time. Flying into the bedroom he found her lying across the center of the bed but not in the usual way, instead she was laying across the width of the bed. It looked like she had collapsed on the bed and his heart leapt into his throat as he immediately tried to wake her.

"Sandra wake up please. Sweetheart please wake up." He knew she wasn't fond of pet names but right now he didn't care. "Sandra" he said again shaking her gently.

Her eyes opened a little, "Hi" she whispered with a little smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Jack said you were hurt" he told her sitting down next to her on the bed. It was quickly becoming clear that Jack had left a few details out when he described her condition. Her face was pale and her eyes looked weak.

"Got hit in the head had to go to hospital." She tried to tell him but it was too hard to think.

"I know, how do you feel?" He asked brushing some hair off her face; he noted that there was dried blood all through her hair.

"Fuzzy… sleepy" she mumbled fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Why don't you let me help you move so your head is on one of the pillows." He offered trying to get her to right herself on the bed.

"The whole bed is a pillow," she sighed happily to him as she closed her eyes.

"This is true" he said trying not to laugh they had defiantly given her some strong drugs. "But I think you would feel more comfortable if you lay the normal way on the bed." He tried to explain to her hoping she could understand him.

"Okay" she agreed but she didn't open her eyes back up.

"Let's sit up" he suggested and she started to follow his directions but as she did she grasped her head.

"Ow" she cried as he helped her up the rest of the way and assisted her move till she was in her normal spot on the bed. He then sat on the other side facing her. "There is that better?" He asked her hopefully.

"Yeah" she answered closing her eyes once more.

"I take it you don't want change?" he asked looking down at her clothes.

"No I want to sleep" she moaned at him she didn't understand why he wouldn't leave her alone so she could sleep.

"Okay that's fine. I would have been here sooner but I just found out. Are you in pain?" He inquired one more time he knew she could barely focused on him and he was pushing it.

"No I don't think so." She answered softly keeping her eyes closed

"Good you just sleep" he told her bending down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Dad?" a voice came from behind him and Sandra eyes popped open.

"Hermione you're supposed to be down stairs," he exclaimed as he jumped off the bed and moved quickly towards his daughter.

"You were gone for a while I was worried. Is she alright?" She asked staring at Sandra whose eyes were once again closed. It was true he had been gone for a while but more importantly she was very curious about the woman he went rushing to see.

"Yeah she will be fine she just needs to sleep" he reassured his daughter coming to stand next to her.

"She's pretty, but why does she have blood in her hair?" she asked looking up at him.

"Come on darling let's go back down stairs." He replied steering her out of the room as he avoided answering her question.

"Dad?" she pushed making it clear she was waiting for an answer.

"She was hit on the head and was bleeding a lot but as I said she is going to be just fine." He reassured her with a smile.

"Okay are we staying?" she questioned him as they walked down the stairs.

"Yeah we are, did you find something to watch?"

"Yes" she answered walking back to the sofa where Rufus sat.

"I'll find you guys a snack," he told them as he looked around the kitchen.

"Kay" she called to him her attention was now turning back to the television.

He was able to find some microwave popcorn and handed the bowl to his daughter a few minutes later. "Okay guys I'm going to be upstairs for a little while will you two be okay on your own for an hour or two?" He asked his two children hoping to avoid another bedroom visit. He didn't want to have to answer anymore question about Sandra's injuries than was absolutely necessary, at least for the time being. Once Sandra was conscious and could explain to the children what happened on her own. He didn't want to end up traumatizing them or doing anything to hurt their opinions of the woman he loved. He was too worried about her to conduct any proper introduction and Sandra being unconscious only it made it that much harder.

"Yeah dad" Rufus responded without giving his father much thought never turning his attention away from the television. To Strickland's great relief both children now appeared to be more interested in the TV than the woman upstairs.

"We'll be fine dad." Hermione assured him giving him a smile and then tossed some popcorn into her mouth. She was still very curious about the woman upstairs but she had been around her dad long enough to know that now was not the right time. He was very worried about the lady and she knew he would take care of everything so she let him be. There would be time later to ask her questions.

"Good I'll come down in a bit to check on you." The two nodded at him and he headed back upstairs. Once in the bedroom again he kicked his shoes off and lay down next to her. He looked down and brushed some hair off her face. He tried not to think of the blood in her hair though Hermione was right she did have quite a bit of it struck to her hair, he hadn't notice it at first he was too worried about her condition. But now it was impossible to miss and he couldn't help but wonder how much blood she had actually lost. From the little Jack had told him he knew that the doctor's big concern was the blood loss but he was confident enough in her condition to release her. Strickland was no longer as terrified as he first was but he was still worried about her.

Her eyes opened and looked at him. "Hi I had a dream someone called you dad." She told him making it clear she was having trouble remembering what was going on.

"That wasn't a dream that was Mione" he informed her gently.

"Mione? But no you're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be with them." She exclaimed as she tried to sit up wincing as she moved and he gently pulled her back down so she was lying on his chest.

"I am with them." He assured her trying to calm her.

"Not at my house. You have to go have fun with them." She cried hitting his chest with her palm. She would have been more threatening if she wasn't fighting to keep her eyes open and awake.

"They are watching telly they're fine" he reassured her once more.

"No you have to go" she professed hitting him again. She could barely think but she did know he was meant to be with the two children no her.

"I'm not going anywhere" he replied calmly taking her hand in his.

"No" she moaned trying to fight him and her need to sleep, she was failing at both.

"Shh sleep" he told her and he kissed her forehead as she lost the fight and fell asleep again.

Strickland had been unable to be breath since the moment Jack told him Sandra was hurt. Now that he had her in his arms knowing she was truly safe he could finally feel his heart beat returned to a normal rhythm and he took several deep breaths. It was nice to breathe freely once more and to no longer feel as though his heart was trying to escape his chest. With adrenaline no longer flooding his system he suddenly felt exhausted, he did little to fight to urge to close his eyes and without evening intending to he was soon asleep next to the woman he loved.

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"Did you get her home okay?" Jack asked Gerry when he walked backed into the UCOS office.

"Yeah no problem, they gave her some strong drugs. It took a little work but I managed to get her into the house and up to her bedroom. She didn't ever bother changing out of those scrubs. She lay down across the middle of the bed, barely got her shoes off, she didn't even want a blanket or a pillow all she wanted to do was sleep. Other than that she seemed fine so I left her be. I put her pills on the night stand with a glass of water and left." Gerry told him sitting down at his desk. He didn't know what else to do. The doctor had told them she needed sleep so he left her to sleep.

"I called Strickland and he was not happy with us just leaving her." Jack informed him, he couldn't stop thinking about how upset the man had been it seemed out of character even for him.

"He is just trying to be a pain. The doctor said it was fine she isn't going to be doing anything but sleeping trust me. What were we going to do watch her sleep? She would kill us when she found out." Gerry exclaimed though he tried not to laugh at the thought of how mad she would be if she caught them.

"Yeah… though I'm thinking maybe we should go take her dinner and just check on her." Jack told him he had been thinking about it since Strickland's call. He felt bad about leaving her alone. Though he had to admit Gerry was right there was not much they could do. Yet somehow the younger man had made him feel like they were not taking good care of her.

"Yeah sure" Gerry agreed picking up a file to read, he was always up for dinner.

"You should have heard Strickland he was more than a little upset… it was strange like he was taking it personally or something." Jack told him, the man's reaction was a bit strange and the copper in him was having a hard time just writing it off.

"Doesn't he have the day off? He's probably just upset you interrupted him." Gerry reminded him not looking up from the file. He was not about to spend his time worrying about what the DAC thought.

"Yeah that's probably it" Jack agreed but it didn't feel true.

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Hermione looked up from the television surprised to find it had been almost two hours since she had last seen her father. She was contemplating going up to check on him and the women… Sandra… she was pretty sure that's what her dad had called her. She had just decided to get up and look in on them when the doorbell rang.

"Dad" she called out "dad" she yelled again, she was trying not to panic as Roo looked at her with wide eyes. She wasn't sure what to do and then to her horror she heard a key in the door and it opened.

"Sandra?" An unfamiliar voice called out and from the door way and Hermione froze as seconds later she and her brother came face to face with three old men.

"Who are you?" Roo demanded staring at the three intruders.

"Who are you?" Jack cried back at them. "Jesus Gerry you said she was asleep" he admonished the other man,

"She was" Gerry said confused.

"Then why are there kids here?" Jack asked him, Brian was quite as he stood there looking at the children in front of him. The five of them stayed as they were staring at each other in shock.

"Dad" Roo finally yelled as loud as he could.

Strickland flew down the stairs as quickly as he could. He had not planned to fall asleep but he had been running around with his kids all day and lying in bed with Sandra on top of him had sent him straight to sleep. He woke to the sound of the door bell and his daughter calling his name. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. There were only three people he could think of who would come to see her right now. Before he could even get out of the bedroom he heard voices and then his son calling for him. As he arrived down stairs he found Brian, Jack, and Gerry standing in front of his children, all five seemed to be frozen in fear.

"Hello…what's going on?" He asked looking between the guys and his children unsure what else to ask.

"I could ask you the same thing," Jack asked turning his gaze on the man and glared at him.

"After you yelled at Jack for leaving Sandra alone we thought we should bring her dinner." Gerry told him trying to explain, though he was rather confused why Strickland was here and how he had managed to get in to the house.

"Are you feeding an army?" He asked looking between the three of them, each man had a large amount of food in their arms.

"We didn't exactly talk it through… I got curry," Gerry admitted.

"I grabbed some fish and chips," Jack added. It didn't go unnoticed by him that Strickland had not explained why he was in Sandra's house with his children. Jack had an idea of what might be going on but he was willing to let it go for now.

"Sandwiches" Brian added a bit embarrassed.

"I take it these are your kids" Gerry asked and Strickland realized he hadn't made any introductions.

"Yes this is Hermione and this is Rufus. Kids this is Jack, Brian, and Gerry." Strickland introduced the two kids to the three men. As he did he moved closer to his children putting his arms around them. He intentionally kept the introduction vague he didn't know exactly what to tell his children about these three men when they hadn't even met Sandra first.

"Sorry we didn't mean to frighten you. You guys hungry?" Gerry inquired. He could see the two children were still nervous and he couldn't exactly blame them. He didn't even truly know what was going on but he did at least understand kids enough to know that food was a good way to make everything better.

"Yeah" Rufus replied happily.

"He's always hungry" Strickland laughed.

"He's a growing boy of course he is. So what would you two like?" Brian asked as he put the sandwiches on the kitchen counter and the other two followed suit.

They looked at their father before answering and he gave them an encouraging nod.

"Fish and chips" they both answered with a smile.

The three men began to spread out all the food on Sandra's table as the two children took a seat.

"I'll go see if Sandra's is ready to get up and eat." Strickland told the three men softly. "Mione, Roo, listen to Gerry till I get back. Okay?" He instructed them before he left. Gerry had three kids and seemed the best choice to look after the kids till he got back.

"Yeah" they called much more interested in the food in front of them. He could see his children were no longer as worried about the situation and he felt comfortable enough to leave them with the three men while he went to check on Sandra. He wanted to be the one to go up and check on her. Having spent the last two and half hours up there with her it would hardly be a surprise when he rejoined her. The three men of UCOS on the other hand would have been a huge surprise walking into her bedroom. As it was she was not going to be happy to discover they were here as well and it was best if he broke the news to her first.

"Are we just going to let him go up there?" Brian whispered as the three men watched the younger man leave the room. The whole situation was strange and letting Strickland go check on Sandra was not their normal way of handling any situation.

"He was already up there when we go here" Gerry reminded him quietly as he searched the kitchen for plates.

"You think she will be okay with it?' Brian continued still concerned.

"I think he has been up there a few times before" Jack answered him as he grabbed some drinking glasses. All three were being very careful to keep their voices down the last thing they wanted was for the two children seated nearby to hear.

"That's what I was thinking" Gerry agreed handing the plates to Brian so he could search out the silverware.

"What do we do?" Brian questioned he was very uncomfortable in situations like this.

"We let him deal with her and we feed them" Gerry told him as he headed back to the table. Jack and Brian quickly followed as they turned their attention to the two children and the food on the table.

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Strickland took a deep breath as he climbed the stairs. He had been pretty upset when he talked to Jack but he didn't think his outburst would cause them to stop by Sandra's for dinner. He wasn't completely prepared for this and he knew Sandra wasn't either. She had been very worried about telling the three men she had made it clear that she was looking for the right moment to tell them. She was going to be far from please when she discovered they had caught them, this was aboslutly not the right moment she had been searching for. This was likely the worst possible time for the men to find out about their relationship. Sandra wasn't in any condition to handle a situation such as this, she could barely speak coherently a few hours ago. He on the other hand didn't know exactly what to tell the three men, they really needed to hear it straight from Sandra. They needed her assurances that this was what she wanted and she was happy. Yet currently she would be lucky if she could even stay awake long enough to eat. He was actually quite surprised Gerry, Jack and Brian hadn't put up a fight when he told them he was coming up to check on her.

There were also his children to contend with and this was not exactly the first meeting they had been planning. Sandra had been so worried about meeting them and here she was with a head injury and a blood stream full of pain medication. There was no way she could avoid meeting them tonight though Hermione had already been up to the bedroom and seen her. The two children were going to have so many questions and they wouldn't be satisfied till them met her. That didn't mean Sandra was going to be prepared to answer most of their question. Strickland knew he needed to try and keep some control over the evening, his children, and their co-workers because Sandra was not going to be able to control her boys or deal with his children.

He took the stairs slower this time rolling over the current situation in his mind. He would have preferred if the night had gone as planned and Sandra not gotten attacked in the car park. Yet he did not think the situation was terrible he just had to convince her of this fact. When he finally reached the bedroom he found Sandra sitting up in bed clutching her head with her hands. She still looked pale but it was good to see her awake and moving around, it made him feel a little better about her current condition.

"Hi" he called standing in the doorway.

"Hi" she moaned looking up at him, her face was contorted in pain.

"How do you feel?" he asked walking towards her.

"Terrible" she replied closing her eyes trying to will the pain away.

"Not surprising," he commented gently sitting on the edge of the bed. She appeared to be coherent and far less drugged than a few hours earlier.

"My head is killing me, I still feel fuzzy or maybe I'm just lighted headed and exhausted." She moaned trying to explain how she felt but she was finding it was very hard to think.

"You lost a lot of blood" he told her. He was only going off the information Jack had provided hours ago. Though based on the blood in her hair and her pasty appearance he felt it was the truth.

"Yeah I guess that happens when a crazy man hits you." She agreed remembering bits of the day's events. The only problem was it hurt when she tried to think and remember events.

"The guys brought you food, a lot of food." He informed her smiling as he carefully slipped that piece of information into the conversation. He hoped that if he appeared alright with their presence she would be as well.

"They are here? Now? You saw them and they saw you" she exclaimed with a sigh, this was only making her head hurt worse. "So that's what all the noise was down stairs" she added her voice only slightly calmer this time. This whole day was turning into a nightmare and she was about ready to cry from frustration. She had wanted today to be perfect but everything was going wrong.

"Yeah I think they may have figured us out if not they are going to be very suspicious," he laughed a little as he ran his hand up and down her arm trying to comfort her. He was determined to remain calm about the whole situation especially because as he expected she was upset by it and she didn't need to be upset right now.

"Great" she exhaled rubbing her head once more; this was absolutely the worst way for them to find out. she wanted to tell them explain the relationship to them not having them stumble upon it while she was unconscious.

"And they scared the crap up of my kids," he added as an afterthought.

"Christ your kids are down stairs. This is a bloodly disaster." She could not believe this was all happening; this was not how this was supposed to go. The day had officially become the worst day of her life.

"It's not that bad honestly the guys haven't killed me yet and the kids are fine." He reassured her taking her hand and giving it a squeeze to calm her.

"Please tell me I dreamt your daughter coming up here?" she moaned she didn't want to remember anything anymore, everything she remembered made the situation worse.

"Sorry wasn't a dream." He reluctantly informed her he didn't want to upset her more but he couldn't lie.

"God no this is a nightmare how is it possible this day got so messed up." She cried out. It was as though her worst fears were coming true there was no way his children would like her now. And on top of that she now had to deal with Gerry, Jack, and Brian, the three were not going to be happy with this new revelation. Though they wouldn't have to stay angry at her for long as her relationship was about to crash and burn.

"No it isn't just calm down everything is fine." He could see a few tears pool in her eyes and he needed to stop them from falling. He pulled her closer and became rubbing circles on her back. "Right now I just want to concentrate on you getting better. That means you need to eat then you can take some pain pills and go back to sleep. Don't worry about Jack, Gerry, Brian, Hermione or Rufus I will handle it I promise." He told her softly and calmly. She was hardly in any condition to deal with all of them right now. He honestly didn't know how much she could handle right now but he wanted to keep it as small as possible. If there was any other way to deal with the situation that didn't involve her he would have don't it already. But unfortunately the five people downstairs wanted to see her and soon.

"I'm sorry I ruined tonight" she said softly trying not to give in to the tears or the fears running through her.

"You didn't do anything you're the one who was attacked. And nothing is ruined please stop worrying. Now why don't we get you changed? As much as I like this look on you mint green scrubs don't really seem like your style." He laughed a little, trying to make her feel better and hoping to relax her.

"Yeah not really" she agreed smiling a little as she looked down at the clothes she was wearing. Working together she was soon out of her scrubs and into her favorite blue track suit.

"What am I going to do about all the blood?" she asked looking at her hair in the mirror. It was bad enough that she looked like death warmed over but the blood made her look like she had just escaped from a horror film.

"Don't worry about it right now we'll get it washed out later" he promised taking her hand.

"How am I going to do that I can't get the stitches wet?" she moaned as she willingly followed him.

"I will help you don't worry about it first food" he ordered with a smile.

"You're going to wash my hair?" She asked a bit surprised, she hadn't considered that option, but she did find the idea rather comforting.

"Yes and if it weren't for the stitches and drugs I would make it a very sensual experience." He whispered in her ear as they headed toward the door.

"Yeah as much as I liked that thought it isn't not going to happen especially with your kids down stairs with the boy's plus there is no guaranty how much of this I am going to remember." She warned him relaxing a little, maybe if she was lucky she wouldn't remember any of this.

"I know come on, doesn't it feel like we're talking about your kids and mine." He laughed as the headed down the stairs.

"Yeah they are kinda like my kids." She agreed with a smile.

The two slowly walked into the kitchen and Sandra was more than a little nervous, she didn't know exactly what reception she would receive. When the three men saw her they were immediately at her side. "How are you feeling?" Jack asked putting a hand on her arm.

"I've been better" she said with a small smile.

"Understandable" Brian piped up giving her a reassuring smile.

"Looks like the good drugs wore off you were really out of it do you even remember me driving you home?" Gerry said giving her one of his winning smiles. They were all trying to be happy and reassuring but they couldn't forget that only hours earlier they were sitting by her hospital bed. They were still a bit worried about her and they didn't know what else to do but be overly nice.

"Only just" she replied with a small laugh following their lead. Maybe if she didn't address the elephant in the room they wouldn't either.

"You need to eat what would you like fish and chips, curry, or sandwiches. Or a little bit of everything?" Jack asked directly her toward the table.

"Maybe some curry and a bit if a sandwich." She told him, it felt like the three of them where orbiting around her and they were making her head spin a little.

"Sounds good" Jack agreed giving her a smile of reassurance.

"Here sit down" Brian said pulling out a chair for her.

"I'll get you some food" Gerry told her grabbing her a plate of food.

"You guys know I'm not dying" she reminded them in the hopes that they would calm down and give her a moment to breath.

"Well at the rate you were losing blood in about an hour you could have" Brian informed her as if he were discussing the weather.

"Brian" Jack, Gerry, and Strickland yelled while Sandra, Hermione, and Rufus all had the same horrified look on their faces.

"Oh sorry… I'm sure it would have stopped bleeding before then." He added trying to walk back his previous comment while they all just looked at him.

"Brian I don't think that is appropriate dinner conversation." Jack informed him as they joined Sandra and the children sitting down at the table.

"Right sorry," he apologized to everyone.

"Ah Sandra I Would like you to meet my children this is Hermione and this is Rufus guys this is Sandra." Strickland said taking control of the conversation drawing her attention to the other two people in the room and introducing the most important people in his life to each other.

"Hi" they both responded, their mouths still half full of chips. Strickland just laughed and shook his head not bothering to correct their behavior this time.

"Hi" she answered back with a smile. She and guys could ignore the situation in front of them but the two children were a completely different story. She could hardly think straight, she had no idea what she was supposed to say to them. Thankfully the two children had conversations topic well covered.

"What happened to your head?" Rufus asked before he shoved another large bite of fish in his mouth.

"Well… a bad man hit me with a brick" she replied looking at Robert for approval, he nodded encouraging her.

"Cool" the little boy exclaimed. "Did he get away?"

"He did but the police caught him," she answered him with a smile successfully remembering what Gerry had told her earlier that day.

"That is so awesome Dad can you take us to your work so we can see the bad guys?" Roo asked getting excited.

"I don't think your mother would approve Roo" Strickland answered lightly reprimanded his son.

"Aww but I want to see the bad guy who hurt her all locked up" the boy whined to his father unconcerned about what his mother would want.

"Well I don't" Hermione huffed at her brother.

"That's cause you're no fun Mione" Roo cried back.

"Okay that's enough eat your food both of you, there is no way either of you two will be seeing any criminals this holiday. And this is not an appropriate conversation for the dinner table either." Strickland said giving them both a look that told them the conversation was over.

"Fine" Roo pouted as he looked down at his food.

"Told you" Hermione boasted, she couldn't resist teasing her brother.

"Mione please" her father sighed. The other four members at the table sat there watching the little family in amusement.

"So what where you guys up to before I so clearly interrupted your day?" Jack asked trying to change the conversation.

"We were at the zoo" Hermione told him excitedly.

"We saw the lions but all they wanted to do was sleep. And we saw a bear and the elephants and we got ice cream." Roo recounted with a big smile. Even though Jack had asked him the question his answer was directed at Sandra. It was clear the little boy was interested in having her attention.

"Sounds like you had a very eventful trip, did you have fun?" She asked. Strickland took her hand and gave it a little squeeze. He wanted her to know she was doing just fine with his kids and there was no reason to worry because he was right there with her. She had no idea what she was supposed to say to the kids but she was trying to make it up as she went along. Yet she was still having a little trouble thinking clearly which was making a bit more difficult.

"Yeah we did, we were suppose to have dinner with one I dad friends… is that you?" Hermione asked still very interested in the woman her dad had been so worried about.

"Yes" Sandra replied trying to remain calm, she smiled hoping it was the correct response.

"Good" she commented with a smile and a nod before she took another bite of her dinner.

"Ah so this was you big plans for the evening, we were wondering." Gerry lightly teased her with a smirk. She turned and gave all three of them a glare.

"Sorry" he said suddenly paying a lot more attention to his food.

"So are you guys police officers too?" Rufus asked he had finished his fish and chips and turned his attention back to the men at the other end of the table looking for something to entertain him.

"Yeah we are" Jack answered the boy.

"You guys are kinda old aren't you?" he continued.

"Rufus" Strickland said in a warning tone.

"What? They are they're older than you are Dad and you're kinda old." The little boy replied and everyone but Strickland couldn't help laughing.

"Well you see the three of us had retired from the police force and then Sandra asked us to come back and work with her on a special team, we solve the cases other people couldn't solve." Jack tried to explain to the children and they both looked at him clearly interest in what he was telling them.

"That's brilliant do you help them dad?" Roo exclaimed.

"Yeah he does sometimes." Gerry answered before the others could say anything. He understood that Strickland's kids didn't need to know that their father was Sandra's boss. Sandra gave Gerry a smile and mouthed the words 'thank you' to him.

"Sandra did it hurt?" Rufus inquired oblivious to the adults' silent conversation.

"Sorry?" she replied uncertain of what he was talking about.

"When the bad guy hit you did it hurt?" he questioned giving her his full attention.

"Ah… yeah it did a little" she said shooting Strickland a look for some guidance she was unsure how much was appropriate to tell a six year old.

"Can I see your stitches?" Rufus asked excited by the idea. Sandra was at a complete loss she was surprised by the question it was unexpected and she didn't know how to answer instead she started at the boy dumbfounded. Strickland was just as shocked while Hermione just glared at her brother. "What? I wanna see them it would be cool," he cried excitedly defending his request.

"The doctor did suggest that you clean the stitches with some rubbing alcohol or soap and water," Jack said choosing that moment to inform her of these instructions. Sandra and Strickland simply glared at him. "I'm not saying that to suggest that he should get to see them just reminding you what the doctors said I had a feeling you probably don't remember." He replied realizing too late that this was the wrong moment to bring the subject up.

"No I didn't remember" she murmured softly trying to remember what else had happened earlier that day.

"They gave you some bandages I put them in your bathroom." Gerry told her, he figured she likely didn't remember that either and since Jack has already brought up the subject it felt the right time to tell her.

"You were in my bathroom?" she balked at the idea.

"Only to put those on the counter don't worry I didn't go through your cabinets." Gerry assured her trying to prevent her from yelling at him. He didn't want to make her angry right now, it would not be good for her health at the moment and there were the children to consider.

"Thank you," she replied giving him a smile to apologized for her overreaction.

"Does that mean I can see them?" Rufus piped up once more, and they all turned to look at the boy.

"No Rufus you can't see them" his father told him sternly.

"Aw dad" he whined, Strickland was about to reprimand his son once more when Sandra spoke up.

"You know I think I have some ice cream in the freezer would you like some?" Sandra asked the two children, trying to defuse the growing tension between father and son.

"Yeah! Can we Dad?" the boy asked his plan to see her stitches now forgotten.

"Yes you can, Mione would you like some?" Strickland asked thankful for the distraction Sandra had provided.

"Yes please," the girl answered with a smile. Thrilled she had done at least one thing to make the kids happy. Sandra went to stand up but Strickland stopped her.

"I got it you stay there." he told her with a smile.

The three men watched Strickland as he kissed her on the side of her head and then headed to the fridge to deal with the ice cream. It was their turn to be shocked. Obviously something was going on between Sandra and her boss, that was clear when they found him and his kids at her place. Yet it hadn't felt real to them until he kissed her in such caring way. They continued to watch him as he got the two kids ice cream.

"Don't tell me you three want ice cream too?" Sandra asked giving them a look unsure why they were watching the man so intently. She knew they suspected something but she was hoping they would continue to ignore the issue for the time being.

"No no we're good" Jack managed to say without choking.

"You sure Jack?" Strickland asked putting the bowls in front of his children.

"Yeah… actually can we have a word with you?" He said indicating with head towards the foyer. He had to stop himself from saying 'sir' at the end of his question. There was never going to be a great time to speak with him but it needed to happen and now looked as good a time as any other.

"Jack" She warned, she instantly knew exactly what Jack wanted to talk about, he clearly had decided that he was no longer going to ignore the elephant in the room. But she didn't feel that now was the right time. She honestly believed their discussion was best left to another time when she could think clearly and participate.

"Yeah sure" Strickland agreed cutting her off, Sandra gave him a concerned look but he responded by giving her hand another squeeze and followed the three men out of the kitchen. He understood what was about to happen and he believed the sooner they got it over with the better.

Sandra didn't like this turn of events it made her nervous and her nerves increased tenfold wnhen she turned back to find the two children looking at her and all she could do was give them a weak smile. She hadn't expected to be left alone with the kids right now she wasn't even sure it was safe given her head injury.

"I really do think it would be cool to see the stitches." Rufus told her before he put a big spoon full of chocolate ice cream in his mouth.

"No Roo it isn't cool its gross." Hermione glared at her brother once more frustrated that he kept pushing the issue when she just wanted to talk to the woman. "Are you really okay? Why did that guy hurt you?" she asked turning back to Sandra.

"I don't know why he did it really, the police had been looking for him for a while and now they caught him and he can't hurt anyone else. And I will be okay I just need to get some rest and I will be right as rain." She answered smiling at the girl while trying to remain calm, she was not prepared to be left alone with his kids and she was still having a hell of a time thinking clearly.

"That's good I'm glad. My dad really likes you he was super worried when he found out you were hurt, we left the zoo in a hurry." The girl told her as she stared to eat her melting ice cream. Sandra studied the children for a minute, they didn't seem upset and at least outwardly they didn't appear to hate her.

"I really like him too, is that okay?" She asked biting her lip nervously she hoped Hermione didn't object to her presence in her father's life.

Mione looked at her for a minute before responding. "Yeah I think it's good, he seems happy, happier than he has been in long time. I like it when he is happy. I'm not stupid I know my mum and dad aren't going to get back together. All they did was fight before they divorced anyway and I hated it. But now mum is happy and when they are together they don't fight anymore and he is happy too." The girl informed her much to Sandra's relief.

"Yeah he is happy now, does that mean you're his girlfriend?" Rufus asked finishing his last bite of ice cream.

"Ah… yeah I am," she confirmed nervous once more. She could not begin to express how important it was to her that these kids accpted her.

"My friend Conner has a girlfriend but I don't want one, don't want to have to hold a girls hand. Girls are icky, though you're okay, how many stitches did you get?" The boy asked bouncing from one topic to another. Sandra was having a little trouble keeping up, her head was starting to really throb.

"You know I don't know" she told him trying to remember if she was even conscious when they stitched her up, but she couldn't be sure, there were several large gaps in her memory. "I don't actually remember much of it" she admitted to the boy.

"Oh well, if you figure out will you tell me?" He requested and she didn't know how she could refuse him.

"I will" she promised smiling at him.

"Good, can I go watch telly?" Roo asked looking at his empty bowl.

"Yeah sure. Ah-"

"I know nothing mum wouldn't want me to watch," he called as he scampered into the living room.

"Can I ask you something?" Hermione asked bringing Sandra's attention back to the girl still at the table.

"Yes sure" she agreed giving the girl an encouraging smile even though she was scared what Hermione might ask her this time.

"Will the blood in your hair come out when you wash it with shampoo or do you have to do something special to get it out?" The girl's serious tone made it clear she was truly concerned about this issue.

"Um… it should come out when I wash it, though I will have to be careful because I can't get the stitches wet." Sandra told her honestly, she had never really had reason to wash blood out of her hair thankfully but she assumed it was much like washing it out of clothes.

"I see, that would make it harder. How long have you and my dad been together?" Both children had a habit of jumping from one topic to another. Usually she would have easily kept up but right now her head was preventing her from focusing and it took her a moment to respond.

"Almost six months" she informed the girl holding her breath unsure of how the child would react.

"Wow that's a long time, I'm glad I finally got to met you." Mione answered shooting Sandra a giant smile and Sandra let out the breath she was holding in relief.

"Me too I was a little nervous to meet two guys" she admitted to the girl.

"Why?" Hermione asked confused.

"I was afraid you wouldn't like me." She blamed her head injury on her willingness to be so open with Strickland's daughter.

"Oh well I like you, Roo might find you less interesting once you don't have stitches any more but he's a boy. I think you're really pretty even with blood in your hair." Hermione continued, she clearly had no reservation about admitting what she thought.

"Thank you" Sandra said thrilled that Strickland's children didn't seem to hate her maybe the day was not a total disaster. Yet she couldn't help but wonder how he was getting on with Gerry, Jack, and Brian.

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Strickland came to a stop next to the banister and leaned against it as the other three stopped around him. He knew what this conversation was going to be about and while Sandra might not want to talk about it right now, he was ready to get it over with. The three men were very protective of their boss and he knew they were unlikely to approve of the relationship. Yet he had no intention of breaking it off even if they objected. He didn't start talking until the door to the kitchen and living room was closed, this conversation was exclusively between the four of them.

"Look I know you are probably upset but please remember Sandra and my children are right on the other side of that door please keep the shouting to a minimum. I don't want to upset either of them right now, especially Sandra, not after the day she's had." He asked them hoping they would see the wisdom in his request for Sandra's sake at the very least.

"You and her are together then?" Brian asked him and the other two men just looked at their colleague. "What? I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page." Brian said defending himself.

"How long has this been going on?" Jack asked ignoring Brian he knew the man had trouble picking up on social queues.

"About six months, since right around her birthday give or take there have been a few bumps." He admitted trying to read the other men but they weren't giving up much except for the glare that Gerry was giving him.

"Well that explains why you got so upset on the phone" Jack mused referring to their conversation from that afternoon.

"Yes sorry about that, I realize that you didn't know about us" he apologized for his earlier behavior.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Gerry asked, he sounded a little hurt and his glare intensified.

"Sandra was worried about telling you she didn't know how you would react and she wasn't sure if you would keep this a secret." He decided that sounded better than what she really said which was that she didn't think they could keep a secret.

"If we do it will be for her sake not yours." Gerry told him. He wanted to hit the man but he knew Sandra would kill him if he did. Instead he chose to simply continued glaring at the younger man and folded his arms over his chest.

"You know why there are regulations advising against dating a superior, how do we know you wouldn't take advantage of the relationship?" Jack asked him, he knew Sandra must truly like the man if they had been together for six months, yet he couldn't help feeling protective of her. They would never say it to her face but she was theirs and they were determined to look out for her.

"I would never take advantage of her I love you and she is accustom to being in charge while we are off work. I would never do anything to compromise her." He professed his feelings and honorable intentions towards Sandra.

"Yeah well she has had lots of practice telling people what to do" Gerry added acknowledging how true the statement was.

"You know if you hurt her…" Jack didn't finish the threat he didn't need to all four knew what would happen if Strickland did anything to harm Sandra.

"You will hurt me yeah I know" Strickland replied finishing the thought they were all thinking.

"And if you make her cry," Gerry added pointing a threatening finger at him.

"Well you better just hit me now because I've made her cry a bunch already." He willingly admitted running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah well that's called dating isn't" Jack said trying to defuse the tension that had begun to boil. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the relationship but he didn't think violence was necessary and he had to admit Sandra had the right to be with whomever she wished, she could take care of herself. Plus Strickland was right Sandra and the children were on the other side of the nearby door. He didn't want to cause a scene and end upset all three of them.

"Look I really appreciate you guys looking out for her and being alright with this." Strickland said after they were all quite for a few moments.

"Oh we didn't say we were okay with this but if she's happy we can't do much." Jack told him giving him a stern look

"You could still do plenty" Strickland reminded them. Sandra had said he wouldn't be able to date her any more if his kids didn't like her and he knew the same could be said about these three men. If they didn't accept this their relationship wouldn't survive.

"No we can't she would kill us" Brian told him.

"She'd yell at us that's for sure. But I suppose as long as you treat her right we'll go along with this." Jack agreed finally relenting on his stare and almost smiled at the man.

"Yeah and we'll keep it secret too you don't have to worry" Gerry informed him, releasing his anger at the man, if Sandra liked him he had to be at least a little decent.

"Thank you it means a lot." Strickland replied smiling at them, this was the best he could have hoped for, at least they didn't hit him. He also knew that knowing that her boys were alright with their relationship would allow Sandra to relax a little.

"That being said I'm not all that surprised to find out about the two of you now that I think about it. You had your eye on her for years." Gerry added, he still wasn't thrilled with the relationship itself but he felt better now that he had said his part and they had warned Strickland to treat her right.

"Yes I suppose I have. She has captivated me since I first met her, and from that moment all I seemed to do was say the wrong thing to her. I don't even know how I got lucky enough-"

"Okay stop right there, this is Sandra you're talking about we don't need know any of the mushy stuff going on in your head. We don't need to know any details of your relationship." Gerry cried cutting him off before unwanted visions filled his mind.

"You better be nice to her but, keep that stuff to yourself she is practically my daughter I don't need certain images in my head." Jack chimed in; they were defiantly going to need some ground rules if Strickland was going to act that way.

"That's what they call too much information" Brian explained smiling feeling proud of himself for using popular terms.

"We can all agree Sandra is special and you better treat her right other than that we don't need to know." Jack warned him hoping to put a stop to any further over sharing by the DAC.

"You're right sorry. I didn't mean to…" He tried stumbling through an apology.

"Might I suggest you take her upstairs and get her in bed, she looked like she was fading fast during dinner and I'm sure she is hurting and tired." Jack suggested cutting the man off and saving him from having to finish his apology. "I may have down played her condition when I first spoke to you, but as I'm sure you can see she is going to need quite a bit of rest over the next few days." He admitted, had he known about their relationship Jack would have called him the moment they reached the hospital.

"I did notice" Strickland replied remaining diplomatic. From the moment he first saw Sandra that afternoon he knew Jack hadn't told him the whole truth but there was no reason to call him out on it now.

"The pain pills are on the night stand and bandages are by the sink" Gerry reminded him.

"I assume you can help her with her hair?" Jack asked him, he needed to make sure the man was prepared to take care of her, more for his peace of mind than for Sandra's well-being. The man had rushed over here when he found out and that spoke volumes in Jack's eyes yet he still needed some slight conformation.

"Yeah if she'll let me" he replied with a nodded.

"Well she sure as hell ain't going to let us help her" Gerry exclaimed.

"No you go take care of her; we'll wash up and keep an eye on the kids." Jack instructed him and the other two men.

"Thank you guys for everything." Strickland said breathing a sigh of relief.

He walked back to the kitchen to find his daughter and Sandra talking, and he couldn't help but smile. She had been so worried about meeting his kids and here she was getting on marvelously with them.

"Sorry to interrupt but I think it might be a good idea if we got you back in bed" he suggested coming to stand next to her chair.

"I suppose you're right, it was really nice to meet you Hermione." She told the girl giving her one last smile.

"I enjoyed meeting you too" Hermione replied smiling back clearly happy.

"Why don't you go watch TV with your brother?" he recommended.

"Okay dad" she agreed standing up from the table and heading to the sofa.

"One more thing you two, Gerry, Jack and Brian are going to do the washing up if you need anything they can get it for you." He told both kids hoping they heard him.

"Okay dad" Roo answered for them not looking away from the TV.

"Night Sandra" Jack said as the three of them surrounded her once more.

"You get some rest now" Gerry instructed her with a smirk.

"I will" she promised. "Thanks you guys for everything today. I know it wasn't the Friday any of us had planned.

"Don't worry about any of that now we are just glad you are safe and getting better. You know we are always here for you if you need us." Jack told her, he meant not only with her current injury but if anything went wrong with Strickland. Sandra understood what he was saying and was thankful she had these men in her life.

"Take your time you don't need to rush back on Monday if you don't feel up to it." Gerry reminded her though he intended it as more of an order than a suggestion but he knew better than to order her around even when she was hurt.

"I will keep that in one in mind. Thanks for everything you guys." She told them once more shooting them a smile to reassure them she would be just fine.

"Night night" the three called out as she and Strickland headed upstairs. He put his arm around her and she leaned into his side. He could tell she was tired and he did his best to help her to the bedroom.

"So I think we should wash your hair first and then clean the stitches." He said once they were safely in the bedroom.

"Or I could just go to bed." She responded as she sat down on the bed.

"I think you'll feel better if you are clean." He suggested giving her a look that told her he was right.

"Fine so how do you plan to do this?" She sighed, she was exhausted after dealing with the guys and meeting Hermione and Rufus. She realized now how much energy it took just to carry on a normal conversation. She had barely been awake for ninety minutes and she felt completely worn out. She wanted nothing more than to curl up on the bed and the process of getting her cleaned up felt like a long one that she had no desire to participate in.

"Well thankfully your shower has a detachable shower head. So step one get undressed." He told her coming to stand in front of her and she tried not to laugh at his statement.

They both began to shed their clothes, Strickland helped her remove her track suit and she was too tired to be upset that she needed help. She was even too tired to make a sexy remark. Once in the shower he tried to keep the water pressure low as he proceeded to very carefully wash the blood out of her hair. Thankfully most of it came out with water alone. He also washed off the little bits of blood on her neck and shoulders. When they were done he got her dried off and dressed in some comfortable pajamas. He was thankful she was allowing him to do most of the work through he could see how tired she was and moved as quickly as he could.

"Now might I suggest you take some pain pills and them we can clean the stitches?" He offered handing her the pills and a glass of water. She did what he suggested and took the pills.

"I don't think we really need to clean the stitches off." She tried to dissuade him hoping he would let the idea go and let her sleep, she wished Jack hadn't opened his big mouth at all. She intended to blame him for this ordeal she now had to go through.

"Is Sandra Pullman afraid?" he smirked.

"No, I'm already in enough pain and I don't want any more." She admitted frustrated, she couldn't see how he could possibly clean the stitches without hurting her and she was not in the mood. Plus she would rather not have to look at her stitches and wound just yet.

"I will be gentle now come on" He promised as he directed her in to the bathroom once more and made sure she was safely seated on the edge of the bath. He carefully removed the bandage revealing a rather substantial gash in her forehead. He tried very hard not to react to the sight of her wound but it was worse than he had imagined.

"That bad" she sighed as saw his reaction, he tried to hide it but she could tell it didn't look good by his face alone. "Well if you're really going to do that will you at least count how many stitches there are?" She requested remember her earlier conversation with Rufus.

"Why exactly would I do that?" He questioned her there was no way she couldn't possibly care.

"Your son wants to know" she informed him.

"Seriously? he'll live without knowing." He told her shaking his head and dismissing his son's ridiculous request. "I'm just going to use soap and water rubbing alcohol will hurt like hell." He continued hoping to make her more comfortable.

"Okay just do it" she snapped before taking a deep breath. "Sorry I just want to be done with this so I can go to bed." He tried not to laugh at the way she was acting. She resembled a cranky child more than the woman he loved.

"I will be careful" he promised her giving her a reassuring smile. He was a little hesitant to touch her, the wound looked pretty nasty it was red and angry, he silently hoped that the doctor did a good job with the stiches and she wouldn't have a scar.

It took him less than ten minutes to clean up her stitches, he was trying to be as tender and as delicate as he could. He touched the stitches as softly a he could, he really didn't want to hurt her though to his dismay he heard her hiss a few times clearly in pain.

"There all done" he informed her putting a fresh bandage on her forehead making sure none of her hair got caught in it. "That wasn't too bad now was it and we won't have to do that again." He promised her, he too was glad the whole thing was over and done with.

"Yeah thank god for that" she exhaled loudly.

"Oh and I think you have somewhere near fifteen stitches up there." He told her with a smile. Even though he didn't think his son truly needed to know the number he did know how much Sandra wanted to impress his children and if she bothered to ask him to count then he would tell her.

"Thank you" she replied returning his smile with a weak one of her own, grateful that he had counted for her despite his feelings.

"Now to bed" he ordered in a mock serious voice. He helped her stand up directing her back to the bedroom.

"Yes sir" she answered but her playful tone was ruined when a yawn escaped her mouth, as they headed towards the bed. Once she was lying down comfortably under the covers he quickly moved to lay down on his of the bed facing her.

"Will you be okay on your own tonight?" He asked as he gently caressed her cheek. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone.

"Yeah of course I'll be fine," she assured him laughing a little. She could barely keep her eyes open she wasn't sure what he thought was going to happen.

"If I didn't have the kids down stairs I would fall asleep with you right here right now," he promised her.

"That is sweet really but I will be fine. Take your kids home. All I'm going to be doing is sleeping for the next two days." She told him trying to convince him it was alright to leave.

"Are you sure?" he asked once more, a part of him wished she would change her mind and ask him to stay.

"I am" she confirmed taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Will you text me when you wake up tomorrow morning just for my piece of mind." He asked her, he couldn't let go of his concerned about leaving her on her own for the whole weekend.

"Yes I will" she promised knowing if she didn't he would be back over first thing tomorrow.

"This has been quite a day, a rather stressful afternoon I must say. I was quite worried when Jack said you were hurt" he admitted letting out a deep sigh.

"I know your daughter told me" she informed him.

"Ah and how was your talk with her?" He asked trying to hide the slight nervousness he suddenly felt, he wanted the two of them to get on more than he had let on.

"It was good actually," she told him with a smile.

"She okay with us?" he asked. He had yet to have an opportunity to talk to them about Sandra and he knew his daughter was smart enough to pick up on the relationship between the two of them.

"Yes she says she likes that you are happy now. Rufus agreed that you appeared to be happier now. Hermione was more concerned about my hair she was worried about the blood coming out." She couldn't help but laugh as she recalled the girl's concern.

"And my son was very interested in your stitches, god what does the say about my kids?" He inquired slightly embarrassed and worried.

"That they're kids" she nudged him a little hoping to get him to lighten up.

"I know it was not the night we were planning but I don't think it turned out too badly. Except for you being attacked, that part I am not happy about, I will be having words with that murder team come Tuesday when I return." He replied sternly thinking of how angry he was that this happened at all.

"It wasn't really their fault," she told him it wasn't as if she blamed them for what happened she knew all too well that sometimes things like this just happened.

"They need to keep better track of their suspects, especially when they're hanging around the car park. If not you he would have hurt someone else and it could have been a lot worse, he could have killed you. We're lucky he fled once you were unconscious." He replied getting angry just thinking about it.

"Okay if you are trying to scare me it is working a little." She said closing her eyes as the tears pooled. Thanks to her injury and the drugs her emotions were all over the place and her spotty memory just made it more unnerving.

"Hey no sorry that wasn't my intention. I just had all these horrible thoughts when Jack said you were attacked." He apologized pulling her a little closer to him trying to comfort her. He needed to remember that she had a head wound and he had to watch what he said for a while, she wasn't the tough as nails detective super right now.

"It wasn't exactly a fun day for me either. I mean I can't remember much but getting attacked and ending up in the hospital wasn't what I had planned for today." She told him opening her eyes finally.

"Are you sure you are going to be okay I don't just mean physically. You really have been through a lot today. This is why I should be staying with you." He told her wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"No I'm fine really in about ten minutes I am going to be asleep and with these drugs you could run a train through the bedroom and I wouldn't wake up." She informed him smiling trying to prove to him that she was okay to be left alone.

"Well I'm not leaving you till you are asleep." He replied firmly he couldn't leave her alone unless he knew she was at least resting peacefully.

"What about your kids?" she asked concerned about the two children a floor below them.

"Sandra I hate to break it to you it isn't even 8:30 yet they're watching TV, they'll be fine for a little while plus they're on holiday from school so they get to stay up extra late." He told her with a laugh.

"Oh… I can't remember when I last went to bed this early, I must have been ten at the most and probably sick." She mused she almost couldn't believe she really was about to fall asleep so early.

"Well when was the last time someone tried to attack you with a brick?" he asked her.

"Fair point, so how did the guys take the news about us?" she was almost too afraid to ask.

"Pretty well I must say all things considered, they didn't yell and they didn't hit me, but they did threaten bodily harm if I hurt or took advantage of you in any way." He replied providing her with the highlights of their conversation.

"They do mean well," she reminded him, she couldn't help but feel happy with how protective they were sometimes.

"They agreed as long as you were happy they wouldn't tell anyone," he added.

"That's probably the best we could hope for." She agreed, she had been very concerned about how they would react. It was good they got to see Strickland outside of work, relaxed and the man she fell in love with.

"Yes I'm sure they will have a lot of questions for you come Tuesday." He warned her and she noticed how he said Tuesday not Monday but she let it go.

"I'm sure they will" she agreed closing her eyes.

"I love you" he whispered kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you too" she murmured finally giving in and falling asleep.

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The next day Strickland and his two children managed to find their way to a toy store much to the delight of the two children. He was helping Roo pick out some Legos when his daughter came running up to him with something behind her back.

"Dad" she called getting his attention.

"Yes darling" he asked still looking at the Legos.

"Dad you should get Sandra something, isn't that what you do when people are sick or hurt?" she asked him her tone was a very serious one.

"Ah… yes that is what people usually do but I don't think I am going to find something for her I here. I guess we could stop and get her some flowers." He replied finally turning around giving her his full attention.

"Dad she isn't in the hospital she's asleep in bed." She replied as though his suggestion was the stupidest thing he could say.

"You could get her some Legos the one with the dragon so she can pretend it is the bad man who hit her and slay it." Rufus chimed in holding up a box with a plastic dragon on it.

"Legos are fun" he told his son not wanting to shoot down his suggestion but he couldn't exactly see Sandra playing with Legos in bed even if it was to humor the boy.

"She isn't doing much except sleeping" Hermione replied to her brother's suggestion. "No I have it dad" she cried excitedly.

"Okay Mione what should we get her?" he asked playing along with her, if she wanted to get Sandra something at the toy store he was going to be as supportive as he could be.

"This" she exclaimed producing a large stuffed teddy bear from behind her back. Its fur was a light brown and had a red bow around his neck. "And then you get her a get well card to go with it" she said proudly.

"A teddy bear?" he questioned a bit surprised by the suggestion.

"Yes" the girl replied emphatically. "She is spending the weekend in bed that is where teddy bears live." She informed him in a way only a ten year old girl possibly could.

"She is right, that is why girls have them on their bed and she is a girl. "Rufus replied agreeing with his sister, which was a rare event.

"So you think she will like it Roo?" he asked, he couldn't see Sandra actually liking a teddy bear any more than she would a set of Legos but both children seemed to think it was a good idea. Additionally it was sweet of both of them to want to get her something it made his heart soar a little to know they cared about her that much already. He could hardly refuse the two and he had to admit it wasn't the worst gift even if Sandra didn't seem like a stuffed animal person.

"Yeah if she likes you and it is from you shouldn't she like whatever you give her? I thought that was how adults worked." Roo commented, sometimes Strickland was completely surprised by how charming and smart his children were.

"That is very true and since it is from all three of us then I am sure she will love it even more." He told them with a giant smile.

"Great we still need to get a card don't forget" Hermione reminded him with an air of authority.

"I won't" he promised as he put his arm around his daughter, he was so proud of both his children they hadn't just accepted Sandra simply because he loved her they genuinely cared about her and wanted her to feel better.

A few hours later they were once again walking through Sandra's front door, but this time he was much calmer and his children were excited not confused.

"Why don't you two wait down here for a few minutes let me make sure she is awake?" He suggested to his kids.

"Okay dad" both children agreed with a smile and a nod.

He walked up the stairs and in to the bedroom where he found her asleep with a magazine in her hand. He couldn't help but shake his head at the sight of the magazine. He bent down and kisses her, slowly her eyes fluttered open slowly, when she saw it was him she smiled.

"Hello" she said "practicing your Prince Charming moves?" she joked sitting up.

"Just checking to see if it would heal you" he laughed as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Sorry don't think it worked" she replied touching her bandage as she laughed. He was happy to see she was in good spirits after what happened the day before.

"That's okay, tell me you were not trying to read that's magazine?" He asked her in a mock sternness he didn't like the idea but he wasn't about to actually get mad at her. "You are supposed to be resting your head and I'm pretty sure your eyes go with your head." He reprimanded her lightly yet the smile never left his face.

"I was bored and honestly I was looking more at the pictures than reading it" she confessed, she was too loopy from the drugs to really focus on much. Yet at the same time she was getting tired of falling asleep all the time - once again thanks to the drugs.

"Maybe try just listening to the television instead so you can at least rest your eyes" he suggested. "But first Mione, Roo, and I have a present for you if you are up to it and up to having them come up here?" He asked hopefully, he wanted to make sure she was feeling okay before he let his children loose on her.

"Yes of course, it's not alive is it?" she asked slightly concerned.

"No we didn't go back to the zoo," he promised with a laugh.

"Oh good" she laughed in relief.

"I will warn you that Hermione picked out your gift so I had to let Roo pick the card. The whole thing was actually Hermione idea." He informed her and he couldn't keep his proud dad look off his face.

"That is very sweet of her I am sure whatever she picked out I will love" she promised him. She didn't even really care what the gift was just the knowledge that the girl wanted to get her something made her feel happy. She had spent so much of the last week terrified that they would hate her.

"Have I told you I love you?" he asked leaning over to kiss her again.

"Not since I texted you this morning" she replied kissing him back.

"I should probably let the kids know they can come up, who knows what they will get into with too much time in their hands."

"Yes please" she smiled at him, she was curious as to what they had brought for her and she couldn't help but feel a little nervous to be seeing them again so soon. She still had no idea what she was doing when it came to the two children or what exactly she should and shouldn't say.

He disappeared and reappeared with a minute later with the two children following behind him.

"Hello again" Sandra greeted them with a smile trying to appear as welcoming as humanly possible while lying in bed.

"Hi" the two children replied tentatively.

"Hermione why don't you give Sandra her present?" he suggested directing his daughter toward the bed.

"Okay" she replied quietly coming over to the bed where Sandra was sitting and handing her a blue gift bag. "Here I hope you like it." She added with an excited smile.

"Thank you. Is it okay if I open the card first?" Sandra asked accepting the gift bag with another big smile this time directed at the girl.

"Yeah" Mione replied and all three Stricklands watched as she pulled the card out of the envelope.

She opened the card; it looked as if it was intended for a child around the age of five. On it was the image of cartoon dog with a cast on its leg, a bandage on its head, and crutches. Inside it said 'get well soon'. And each of the three Strickland family members had signed their names.

"Thank you" she told them with a huge smile, putting the card up on her bed side table for all to see.

"Do you like Dogs?" Roo asked from the door way.

"Ah… yes, yes I do" she answered as Strickland gave her an apologetic look and she gave him a smile trying not to laugh because she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Good now open the present" the boy cried excitedly.

"Okay" she agreed pulling away the tissue paper to reveal a soft plush teddy bear. This time she couldn't help but laugh. "A teddy bear" she exclaimed.

"Do you like him?" Hermione asked nervously concerned about how Sandra would like her gift.

"He's perfect thank you" she assure the girl as she gave the bear a squeeze to demonstrate her immediate fondness for the bear.

"I wanted to get you Legos but Hermione said a bear was better." Roo informed her earning him a look from his sister.

"Legos are a lot of fun but I think this teddy bear looks just right on my bed." She said placing the bear on the bed next to her. Hermione's face lit up at Sandra's apparent affection for the gift.

Before either adult could say anything or react Roo ran from the door towards the bed and took a flying leap on to the bed. He landed right next to Sandra and the teddy bear.

"That's what I said- teddy bears belonged on the bed." He told her bouncing a little while Sandra sat there in shock; with her head wound and the drugs she was having a hard time focusing on him.

"Roo we do not do that." Strickland reprimanded his son "and don't bounce, remember Sandra's head hurts." He said once he had overcome his own shock. His son clearly felt at home already he just hadn't expected him to use the bed as his own jungle gym.

"Oh yeah right sorry" the boy apologized as he stopped bouncing. "When you're better will you play with me and my Legos?" he asked sitting up on the bed.

"I would love to" she told him her head still spinning a little from his antics but she was able to concentrate enough on what he was saying to properly respond.

"Yay" he cried bouncing once more.

"Rufus" Strickland warned sternly.

"Sorry" the boy apologizing once more as he stopped.

"Well why don't we let you get some rest, you certainly aren't going to get any with us around. Especially with this one bouncing all over the bed" he said giving his son a look.

"If you must, Roo Hermione thank you so very much for my bear he is wonderful." She told them both. To her surprised she found she was a little sad to see them go. She liked being around his children even with all the bouncing on the bed. Most of all she loved watching him interact with his kids they were far better entertainment than her magazine or the TV.

"I'm really happy you like it, hope you feel better soon." Hermione called as she headed out the bedroom at her father's direction.

"Yeah then we can play with Legos. Get better Sandra" the boy called as he jumped off the bed and Strickland just shook his head.

"You two head down stairs I'll be down in a minute" he told them. "Rufus no jumping on the stairs, I do not want to spend the rest of the day in A&E" he called as the two children ran out of the room.

"I'm sorry are you okay?" he asked sitting back down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Yeah I think it might be time for another pill. I was trying to go as long as I could without one but it hurts inside and outside." She told him leaning forward and resting her head on him.

"You are stubborn Sandra Pullman, take the damn pill." He ordered her moving to grab the pmedication and water off the bedside table.

"Hey watch it you have competition now mister." She said holding the bear I front of him. "I have him now and he is the quite type who doesn't tell me what to do." She told him playfully she had to admit she did rather like the bear, he was very soft and squeezable.

"I will not be jealous of a bear even if he gets to stay with you and I don't." He complained slightly while holding out the pain medication and a glass to her.

"I am taking a pill and going to sleep per your request so I don't think you will miss much." She informed him swallowing the medicine as he ordered.

"I would really like to hold you and never let you go." He told her taking the water back and taking her hand in the process.

"That would make it very hard to get any work done." She countered with a wicked smile.

"True but please tell me you are not going into work on Monday?" He asked ignoring her look and giving her a stern one of his own.

"As much as I want to go back to work Jack, Brian, and Gerry all left me messages telling me I should stay home and if I show up they will take me straight back here. So I don't think I have much choice." She informed him knowing he would be quite happy to find out her guys weren't going to let her come back right away.

"Good, the kids have to go back to their mother's Monday afternoon; once they are safely home I am coming straight over." He told her squeezing her hand it was not a suggestion he would be over as soon as he could. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone till then, maybe it was the parent in him but it felt wrong not to be there for her.

"Then you better go spend as much time as possible with them. Teddy and I will be fine." She reassured him with a laugh.

"Sorry about the dog card Roo had his heart set on it." He apologized trying to explain.

"I really do like dogs" she told him and it was true.

"I know, I just thought it might remind you…" he didn't quite know how to finish the thought

"Of how I got forced into the best job I've ever had?" She said finishing his thought.

"Yeah something like that." He smiled taking her face gently in his hands kissing her rather passionately. "I love you" he said pulling her into a gentle hug being careful not to hurt her. "I just want you to be safe."

"I'm fine go have fun, one of us should get to, it is a holiday weekend after all."

"And Monday is a bank holiday all the more reason you should be off" he countered.

"You should know more than anyone that police don't exactly get holidays off. Now go before they come back up looking for you." It was her turn to order him around.

"Yes I'm sure Roo is hungry it has been almost two hours since he had a snack." She couldn't help but laugh at his son's eating habits. "You will be okay getting dinner? He asked, the mention of food brought back his concerns of leaving her.

"Yes, there is still plenty of leftovers from last night. I will be fine." She tried once more to reassure him. "I love you now go have fun with your children." She ordered him.

"Bye" he replied giving her one last kiss.

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"My kids really liked you." Strickland said Monday afternoon as he held her in his arms. They were lying in bed some film was on the television but he was only paying attention to her.

"They did?" She asked, the haze of the last few days had finally started to lift but thanks to the drugs and her head wound her memory was a bit splotchy. She wasn't 100% sure if the things she remembered actually happened.

"Oh you were a big hit. No pun intended." He informed her eyeing the bandage on her forehead.

"I'll let it go this time." She joked nudging him with her elbow.

"Good… yes they were fascinated with you and your head wound for the rest of the trip kept asking questions about you." He told her, he knew she had been worried about meeting them and he wanted to assure her that she no longer had anything to worry about.

"I was just mysterious enough was I?" she asked with a hollow laugh.

"Yes I would say so and you were worried about meeting them" he reminded her.

"Well it didn't exactly go as planned. We're lucky I can remember meeting them at all cause I defiantly can't remember everything." She warned him, she hoped he wasn't expecting her to remember the specification of the weekend. "Don't forget there was the whole mess with Gerry, Jack and Brian finding out our secret as well." She reminded him, it was not exactly how she didn't want then and to find out either.

"True but it all worked out quite well all things considered except for this." He said pointing to her head wound.

"Yes the boys are going to hover all day tomorrow to make sure I'm okay." She complained at just the thought.

"Good" he replied with a satisfied smile, he wanted to hover over her as well but he knew she would kill him. Not to mention people would question why he was spending his whole day in the UCOS office.

"Good? Whose side are you on, this is going to drive me crazy" she whined. She had been hoping for some support from him but now that she thought about it she realized how foolish that idea had been.

"Oh I think I am often on their side when it comes to your safety" he informed her thinking back over the past few days.

"Great most women only have one over protective man to worry about I have four." She was complaining but deep down she appreciated everything the four of them had done for her during this whole incident.

"You wouldn't have it any other way" he told her and he knew he was right.

"True" she agreed and she couldn't help but smile, she wouldn't trade the four of them for anything in the world.

"Once they see you are fine tomorrow they will back off a bit, give them a few days. It was a bit of a harrowing experience for them to finding you like that." He reminded her, it was bad enough for him just having to hear about it, he might have lost his mind if he had found her on the ground in a pool of blood.

"And you?" she knew he had reacted strongly to the news as well.

"Well now that I have you in my arms and I know you are fine, I'm feeling better. You do understand you're not leaving the office tomorrow." He told her firmly, this would be harder for her to accept than the three men hover around her but he was standing his ground on this one.

"What? No you can't chain me to my desk like that," she exclaimed. She was perfectly fine or she would be by tomorrow after four days of rest. She tried to move out of his arms but he held her firmly in place which just frustrated her more.

"Oh I can and I will if I have to, I do know where we keep the chains or at least the handcuff." He reminded her that ultimately he was in charge at least at work. "And you won't get any help from those three and you know it." He informed her sternly he would pull rank if he needed to, knowing full well that it would piss her off. Her safety was far more important than risking her anger and frustration.

"You can't just team up with them like that to keep me caged in" she countered upset at the idea.

"I most certainly can especially, when we all agree it is for your own safety." He gave her a look that told her she could fight all she wanted to but she was not going to win. "You can yell and threaten me all you want but it won't change my mine."

"I don't like this" she huffed crossing her arms and if it were anyone other than Sandra Pullman he would have said she was pouting.

"Oh come on it's not like we're going to do this very often you just got attacked in the car park we get to be concerned and over protective for a little while." He said reminding her that the four of them rarely agreed on much of anything.

"A day that's all you lot get then it is back to normal do you understand me?" She growled at him even though she was frustrated part of her mind told her this over protectiveness was only because they cared about her and it was sweet.

"How long do you get to keep the stitches?" He asked changing the subject slightly.

"They come out next Monday" she replied. Another week was far too long for her but she didn't have much say in the matter.

"No strenuous activity till then" he ordered her. It was likely the doctors had told her this already but she was unlikely to remember.

"Yes I know, I guess that means you'll have to be on top." She replied with a wicked smile.

"I do believe you are correct, but that will have to wait. I don't usually like to engage in those activities with women who are on strong pain medication." He countered with a smile of his own.

"Then it is good they will be completely out of my system by tomorrow" she grinned.

"Yes it is because I want nothing more than to make love to you. I may have over reacted when Jack told me you were attacked but I was honestly scared to death when I found out. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you." He admitted to her.

"You big softy" she laughed kindly at him.

"No that's your teddy bear" He replied kissing her aggressively.

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"Morning" she called walking into the UCOS office Tuesday morning shortly before nine.

"Morning, did Strickland drive you to work?" Gerry asked lifting his eyebrows.

"As a matter of fact he did seeing as my car is still here from Friday. Why do you ask?" She questioned as she walked into her office.

"Because you look very happy" he informed her with a knowing smile.

"Could be finally getting back to work" she commented hanging up her handbag and coat.

"Nah it's him" Gerry replied with a knowing look.

"Okay you three get it all out ask whatever it is you want to know about me and him so we can get on with things. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys I just didn't know how to tell you, I wasn't sure how you would react." She said walking back and standing in the middle of the room ready for anything they had for her.

"Yeah well we weren't that surprised we could see you two were attracted to each other." Jack informed her. "Though you could have trusted us a bit more" he added.

"I didn't want to upset you guys, I'm sorry" she replied looking between the three of them.

"Don't worry we've already forgiven you, we aren't stupid you know" Gerry reassured her. "You two may fight each other around here but you also stick up for him a lot." He continued with a knowing look that caused her to roll her eyes at him.

"So we really only have one question, are you happy?" Jack asked her with a smile.

"Yes very happy" she answered giving them all a huge smile.

"Good, you know we'll kill him if he hurts you" Gerry told her.

"We know people who can get rid of a body for us" Jack added.

"Given this a lot of thought have you?" she asked laughing lightly at their outrageous comments.

"Yes we have" Gerry confirmed with a nod of his head.

"Have to be prepared in case you kill him first" Brian added speaking up for the first time.

"You guys really can be very sweet in the oddest ways" she observed shaking her head. "But I wouldn't trade you three for anyone else" she told them sincerely.

"You sure your head is better you are being far too nice?" Jack asked her a little concerned.

"Yes I am find and I am not on any drugs" she promised them.

"So it was meet the kid's time. How did that go?" Gerry asked raising his eyebrows finally getting to the subject he really wanted to talk about and ignoring her mushy sentimental comments.

"How do you think it went? You three were there for almost all of it." She sighed sitting down on the sofa. "And you guys probably remember more than I do" she added.

"I would say besides Brian talking about how you could have died and my ill-timed reminder to clean your stitches, it seemed to go quite well. Actually I think it went especially well given the fact that you had a head injury and were a little low on blood." Jack answered trying to reassure her a little.

"Yes thank you for all that" she said with a laugh. "I do honestly think it was as successful as it could have been. That is from what I can remember, Friday is a bit hazy for me; I only remember patches of it. They came back Saturday afternoon though; his kids had a gift for me a get well gift. It was Hermione's idea she wanted me to have a teddy bear to keep me company while I got better." She shared with them smiling as she remembered the events and how kind Strickland's kids were.

"Now that is sweet." Gerry replied sincerely, he did have three girls after all and even Gerry jr. liked his teddy bear.

"I know he has some really great kids" she beamed unable to keep hidden how much she liked them already even after spending so little time with them.

"Be careful you're slipping into a domestic life." Gerry warned her with a knowing smile, she was too far gone already he could tell but she didn't seem to notice. It was as new side to their boss and the three men liked it.

"I'll risk it. Now what do you say we get some work done." She said standing up to get some coffee.

"You do know you're not leaving the office today right?" Jack informed her as Gerry and Brian nodded in agreement.

"I sure Strickland will back us" Gerry threw in for good measure.

"He already beat you to it" she told them knowing they would be happy.

"Good man" Gerry commented and the other two nodded in agreement. "I knew there was something I liked about him." He smiled as the others just laughed.

A/N Thanks for reading this insanely long chapter I feel like I owe you all a prize. I hope you liked it and I promise no other chapter is this long they will go back to a normal length tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading.


	8. Mad Dogs

Mad Dogs

"Did you have fun yelling at us? Your very own theatrical performance put on just for the UCOS team?" Sandra asked Strickland as she cut up vegetables for dinner. She had been waiting till they were home to let him know she knew what he had done.

"What do you mean?" he asked stealing a few carrots from the pile. He gave her an innocent look that tried to say he had no idea what she was talking about, but they both know he was just playing dumb.

She had her hair up in a pony tail, she only ever did that at home and he loved it. He knew it was only in his head but he couldn't help but feel it was something special that only he got to enjoy. He loved how relaxed and at ease she looked standing there making dinner and talking to him. He had gotten used to these intimate moments with her.

He didn't know exactly went it happened but sometime over the previous six or seven months he had begun to spend every night at her place. His clothes slowly began to fill her closet, his toiletries could be found in her bathroom and his little odds and ends were all over the house. Now he only ever went home when his children spent the weekend with him. They had both taken to referring to her place as home, the transition had been gradual but they were now so comfortable that the weekends he spent at him place felt strange to both of them.

His flat felt almost foreign to him now as if it were nothing more than a temporary place to stay. She felt lonely when he was gone and her house suddenly felt gigantic without him. But they had agreed at least for the foreseeable future that she wouldn't spend the night at his place when he had the kids. She might meet them for lunch or an afternoon out but she made sure they had their alone time. Even after their first meeting had turned out well she still was a little skittish around the kids and she felt that if she spent just a little time with them then they would continue to like her but if she spent too much time together they would discover they really didn't like her. It was foolish because the two children really did seem to be fond of her yet that didn't make her completely sure of herself around them. He thought it was silly and did everything he could to keep her with them longer and longer.

"You're the one who leaked all that information to the papers." She replied pulling him out of his thoughts. She had stopped chopping and was giving him a look.

"Did I?" He asked trying to be coy.

"You are such a liar. You should know better than to try and deceive to a bunch of police offers." She laughed and moved on from the carrots to green peppers.

"Fine what gave me away?" he inquired with a dramatic sigh before popping another carrot in his mouth. He was sitting on one of the kitchen stools as he watched her make dinner. He personally thought this was far better entertainment than anything he could have found on the TV.

"You were a bit over reactive. Good acting for the most part though" she laughed a bit more at him.

"Thank you" he grinned at her while giving her a slight bow with his head.

"Don't get any ideas" she told him pointing the knife at him to make her point.

'What do you mean?" he asked genuinely confused this time.

"No running off to join the theater for you" she elaborated.

"Oh, no worries there, I am sorry I yelled and cut you off but I didn't think I could keep up the act with you professing your innocence. I was so close to laughing as it was." He admitted laughing now to make up for his earlier anger. He did have to admit it was a little fun to play a part, maybe he shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the idea of acting.

"Well then its good you're not running for the theater I think actors need to be more adaptive." She replied as he grabbed a hand full of green peppers from her neatly cut pile. "Stop that or there will be none left for dinner." She cried smacking his hand. He pulled it pack as fast as he could holding on to the green peppers as he did and grinning at her.

"I'm sure we'll be fine and I'm hungry now, I don't want to wait for them to cook." He complained and then took a bite of the pepper as though proving his point.

"It's stir fry it doesn't take that long" she exclaimed.

"Well I'm starving so it is taking too long already" he whinged continuing to eat his stolen vegetables.

"Fine you can finish cutting up the veggies and make it yourself if you feel I'm working too slow." She told him sternly putting the knife down and making moves to leave the kitchen.

"No wait I'm sorry you are doing a great job I'm sorry I said anything. No more stealing veggies I promise." He said standing up and blocking her way out as he begged her forgiveness.

"That's what I thought" she replied with a smug smile turning back to the food.

"The acting part was a bit of fun" he admitted returning to their previous conversation as he got a chilled bottle of wine out of the fridge and opened it. He proceeded to grab two glasses and poured one for each of them. "Here you go" he told her as he handed her a glass.

"Thank you" she took a nice drink of the liquid. "No more acting for you" she told him flatly.

"Don't worry I won't give up my day job. How could I do that to another DAC, put them in charge of you lot, they would go crazy in a week." He couldn't help flashing a huge grin in her direction.

"Ha ha, we aren't that bad" she professed defending her and her team.

"It could be fun to do a little acting though community theater and all that." He replied still thinking about the idea.

"No the only one who gets to see you act is me" she ordered him pointing the knife at him once more.

"Well that could certainly be fun" he replied suggestively.

"We can explore that thought in more detail later right now is all about dinner. Though since we are talking about the case I can't believe in the end it was the father who killed him." She mused as she reluctantly put her wine down and went back to the vegetables.

"All because his father couldn't handle a gay son. There is nothing Rufus could tell me that would make me kill him, arrest him maybe but I don't think I could ever kill my son no matter how angry he made me." He sat back down on the stool as he thought about it.

"He's all of six" she exclaimed.

"He will grow up to be a teenager I remember what it is like to be a teenage boy." He grimaced and hoped he son wouldn't be too much like him when he got older.

"Why don't you let him be a kid first okay" she advised him, there was no reason to make the boy grow up any sooner than necessary.

"Yeah you're right, though I do wonder what teenage me and teenage you would have thought of each other?" He asked rising his eyebrows at him.

"Oh I was mean to the girls and I was vicious to the boys they were all rather immature."She replied not looking at him. She was hardly proud of the way she acted as a teenager and she wasn't eager to discuss it with him.

"You were attracted to older men?" he inquired missing her uneasiness with the subject.

"For a while I guess then the guys got a lot older." She said with a fond smile making it clear she was talking about Gerry, Jack, and Brian. "You know I wish the army was behind this because whatever they really did to those men it is affecting them to this day and something should be done for them." She said changing the subject back to their case. She had no desire to talk about her teenage years in her opinion they were best forgotten.

"Unfortunately we can't fix everything" he reminded her, giving her hand a squeeze. He knew she hated not being able to right all the injustices they discovered in their line of work.

"Sometimes I just wish we could" she sighed staring at the cut vegetables.

"And that is one of the many reasons I love you, you fiercely want justice for those who have been wronged." He told her sweetly.

"Even when you try and stand in my way?" she added giving him a look that told him she didn't appreciate it.

"When have I ever done that?" he joked.

"Let me count the ways" she laughed.

"I would rather do something else." he replied pulling her closer if he wasn't able to feed his stomach he was equally as interested in feeding his other desires.

"Careful I am still holding the knife and I don't want to have to take you to hospital tonight" she cried. She tired her hardest to keep the knife far away from him though he wasn't making it easy.

"Sorry" he apologized loosening his grip but not letting go.

"Are you going to let me finish dinner? You said you were starving." She asked him having a hard time not laughing as she tried to give him a stern look. There were times when he acted more like an overgrown child than the responsible adult he was. It was one of the many things that had surprised her about him. She had always thought he was so straight laced, that was the impression he gave off at work. He was not known for his sense of humor or jokes and pranks at the office. Yet he had a goofy side and had a really good sense of humor she had been pleasantly surprised on their first date. She had been less surprised by his healthy libido but she had absolutely no complaints.

"I'm hungry for something else right now." He told her and he proceeded to nuzzle her neck peppering it with small light kisses as he made his way further down towards her chest. She wisely dropped the knife on the counter before she really did hurt him, if he continued she was going to lose control of most of her senses.

"I am not on the menu right now" she informed him pushing him away. It had taken all her resolve not to give in to him. She was determined to finish making dinner first.

"Oh I think you are but I will admit you look like desert not the main course. So I will hold off till then but only till then" he promised. He could sense that she was not going to give into him.

"Why do I even bother trying to cook with you around?" she asked exasperated. She loved him but he was always doing this to her.

He would admit he had a tendency to side track her into the bedroom when she was trying to cook dinner. It wasn't his fault that he got turned on when he saw her being all domestic. At work she did not appear like she cared about being domestic she was all about her job. It was nice to see her relax at home and it was a huge turn on. The problem was he usually interrupted her when she was cooking because he just couldn't contain his desire. That meant she usually didn't get to finishing cooking and they ended up ordering pizza or Chinese a few hours later. He felt slightly guilty for always ruining her dinners and he decided this time he would try and let her finish.

"I like to watch you cook even if you sometimes burn things" he responded teasing her.

"I only burn things when you distract me" she countered and he knew she was correct.

"There isn't any way we can skip straight to desert is there?" he asked ignoring her comment. He was trying to be good but he was terrible at resisting his urge to take her upstairs.

"Not bloody likely I am going to actual finish dinner for once and we are going to eat it" she growled at him as she added some oil to the wok turning the heat up on the stove to high. "The range is now hot so please be very careful. No one is getting injured tonight because then there will be no desert do you understand me." She said very serious, a trip to A&E was not how she wanted to spend the night.

"Yes ma'am" he replied he knew when to give up trying to seduce her. To avoid temptation and potential harm he moved back to his seat and picked up his wine once more.

"Now that is what I like to hear" she said with a wicket grin. She felt a huge wave of joy that she was actually going to finish making dinner for the first time in month.

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"This is really good" he said as they sat at the table eating dinner half an hour later.

"Thank you, not a burnt vegetable in sight no thanks to you" she answered.

"How can you expect me to watch you looking all sexy cooking dinner with your ponytail and not touch you?" He asked enjoying both the food and the smile on her face.

"I believe it is called restraint" she informed him.

"I have to exercise restraint all day at work. I have to resist the urge to tell all the top brass what I think of them. I have to resist the strong desire not to hit half the people we work with. And I have to resist my deep desire to touch you every time I see you. Not to mention how every time we are in your office I want to take you right there on your desk. So you will forgive me that once we are home I can't resist you anymore." As he sat there explaining all this too her and all he could think about was how soon he could get her upstairs.

"So let me get this straight, when you come into my office to yell at me what you are really thinking about is having your way with me on my desk?" She asked finishing up her food yet she couldn't keep the wicked smile off her face.

"Yes, I may start out mad at you but by the end all I can think about is you on that desk." He admitted giving her a look that told her he was hungry for something other than a second serving of dinner.

"I am going to have to remember that" she replied seductively taking a drink of her wine.

"I'm thinking it is time for desert" he replied.

"Oh do you? Well I was thinking about throwing together a pie or a tart." she teased.

"You think you are so funny don't you?" he sighed dramatically at her teasing she knew exactly what he wanted and she was just trying to make life difficult for him.

"I am very funny if you hadn't noticed" she replied.

"Yes I you are, but since you made dinner I am in charge of desert. I think we should go upstairs and I will show you everything I want to do to you at work." He told her standing up and holding his hand to help her up.

"Promises, promises" she responded taking his and standing up.

"I always keep my promises" he told her pulling her close and kissing her.

"I hope so though knowing what you're thinking when you look at my desk may prevent me from ever being able to look at you the same way at work again." She warned him as she kissed him back.

"I will risk it" he whispered in her ear.

"I love you" she told him.

"I love you too. Now my lady will you join me upstairs?"

"Gladly" she agreed as she followed him.

"I promise the desert I have planned will be far better than any pie or tart."

"Don't make promises you can't keep" she replied playfully.

"I promise" he said and he stopped and turned around to face her. He pulled her close to him and kissed her making it clear that he was fully prepared to follow through on his promise.

A/N I just want to thank everyone for reading and thank you for the reviews.


	9. The War Against Drugs

The War Against Drugs

"Why on earth is Brian calling you at two in the morning?" Robert Strickland asked once Sandra hung up her phone. He had picked up bits and pieces from her side of the conversation but nothing he heard offered much in the way of an explanation for the late night call.

"I'm not about to tell you" she growled at him. She wasn't even sure why she had let him spend the night with her. She was still angry with him for his earlier attitude toward Brian. She slid back down in the bed and pulled the covers back around her trying to ignore him.

"I said I was sorry about today." He said begging her for forgiveness. He had been apologizing all night and that was the only reason she hadn't kicked him out. As of now she hadn't really forgiven him for his poor choice of words and harsh opinions earlier in the day. He should have known better than to speak that way about one of her team, she was fiercely protective of them.

He loved her protectiveness but ignoring it did get him into trouble every so often but never as much as it had today. He was surprised to find out Brian had fallen off the wagon and unfortunately his first thought was how that would reflect on the unit given Brain's past. He knew it was all well and good for him to worry about the situation but he shouldn't have appeared angry about Brian's slip in front of her and the other two men.

"He thinks something happened nine years ago at the clinic he's at." She finally told him with a sigh curious how he would respond. If he didn't react with a more compassionate attitude this time she was going to kick him out of bed.

"Leave it to Brian to find something sinister at a clinic. Do you think he is looking for a distraction so he doesn't have to deal with his drinking problem?" he asked. Despite his actions earlier which he greatly regretted, he really did want Brian to get better but he was having a hell of a time convincing her of that.

"That is my fear, I will run a search tomorrow prove him wrong so he can focus on getting better." She told him closing her eyes, she just wanted to get back to sleep, she was tired of having this conversation over and over again.

"I do want Brian to get better and come back to work." he told her once more.

"I know you said so several times tonight." She replied coldly, rolling over so her back was to him. "Oh and if you want that bike moved you can move it yourself." She growled ending the conversation. Strickland knew when to stop or risk getting kicked out of bed and end up spending the night on the sofa.

"Yeah I kind of figured you would say that, you think I would learn by now?" he sighed.

"You would think" she agreed pulling the duvet so she had more of it and he knew it was time to shut up and go back to sleep.

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 _ **Are you coming down to move this bike or would you rather it stay here?**_

She texted him the following day and he just let out a sigh as he read it at his desk, he wished he had never said a thing about that damn bike.

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"So Brian is staying to finish up treatment?" He asked as they sat on the sofa enjoying a glass of wine.

"Yeah" she replied with a smile, she was proud of Brian for sticking with it. They had all been worried about him this past week, they wanted him to get better so badly and worried this case had derailed his efforts. The whole team even Strickland was happy to hear he wanted to stay.

"That's good" he replied putting his arm around her. She had finally forgiven him for his initial bad reaction to the situation. She had done little more than growl at him for two days as punishment and he wouldn't make that mistake again.

"I think so" she agreed moving closer into his arms. She had missed cuddling with him over the past few days but she was determined to make sure he never spoke about her team that way again.

"I don't know how you do it?" he asked after they were silent for a while.

"Do what?" she questioned she had no idea what he was talking about. She wondered if she had been so lost in thought she had missed something he said to her.

"You investigate a suspicious death of a drug addict and end up catching a war criminal." He replied shaking his head, when Brian first called both of them were convinced that there was nothing to this but Brian's over active mind. And now a murderer would finally pay for all the hurt he had caused. Hiding as a monk seemed a very perverse cover.

"Sometimes we just work these things out, other times we follow the evidence." She replied with a smug smile. She knew he had thought this case was not worth looking into when Brian called. He only let them look at it because he was trying to make it up to her for his earlier actions.

"And you do it so well" he commented kissing the side of her head. He glanced at her forehead and was happy to note there was no trace of the head wound she had sustained nearly six months previous.

"Yes I do don't I?" She added her smile only got bigger. "Oh by the way never ask Gerry what he said while under cover at that clinic" She warned him. She didn't really want to know what he would do if he found out Gerry had went in for treatment as a sex addict and told the people she was his wife.

"And why not?" he asked now concerned. He never liked it when she said things like that to him. It made him curious to know what she was hiding even though he knew it would upset him.

"You will only want to hit him" she answered, this was not something she really wanted to talk to him about but she didn't want one of the guys telling him.

"And why would I want to do that?" The more she said the more worried he got.

"Cause I wanted to when I found out" she replied. Why could he not just leave things alone and listen when she told him not to ask questions.

"Sandra" he said with a warning tone, he didn't like secrets like this.

"Well Gerry went in to the clinic and he was pretending to be a sex addict" she told him carefully choosing her words.

"Pretending?" he questioned one could argue the man was one.

"Yes pretending, and he told his therapist I was his wife" she continued holding her breath.

"He did what?" Strickland exclaimed, he sure as hell wanted to hit the man now. He was not a possessive man and he knew Sandra was an independent person. Yet if there was one person he was actually jealous of it was Gerry Standing. He had always flirted a little too much in his opinion, and he often flirted with Sandra. Strickland would never admit it but he couldn't help but fear that Gerry was the one man who could take her away from him. So to know that the man had pretended to be Sandra's husband did not sit well with him.

"As I said don't ask him about it" she reminded him calmly, hoping he would wisely just drop the subject. It didn't mean anything and there was no reason for him to get all worked up over it. And the very last thing she needed or wanted was Strickland and Gerry getting into a physical fight.

"Anything else I should know?" he asked almost afraid to know the answer. He was willing to let the issue with Gerry go for right now but he would file it away just in case.

"Yes" she responded flatly.

"What's that?" he asked nervously.

"Even though you can be a jerk and you are highly insufferable I still love you." She replied sweetly, he had been less than supportive over the past week but she was more than willing to forgive him

"Well I love you, does that mean I could maybe not get yelled at so much for-"

"For the stupid ill thought out comments you make at work?" She finished giving him a look.

"Yeah forget I asked" he replied, he suddenly knew exactly how she managed to keep those three men in line.

"Smart man" she grinned and cuddled closer to him.

"I only seem to be smart at home" he sighed.

"That's not true every once in a while at work you have good ideas the law of averages says so" she teased him.

"I think I have been insulted" he moaned.

"I'm only joking when you aren't being angry at us you can be rather helpful. You should just strop being angry and be more helpful." She suggested though she knew it was not likely to actually happen. She understood her team had a way of side stepping normal procedures and doing things their own way and she knew it frustrated him at time.

"Why would I want to do that I love the repercussions at home so much." He replied sarcastically. "Honestly I feel that if I don't keep you and your team on point then you wouldn't live up to the standards you are quite capable of meeting." He admitted to her not realizing how stupid the comment was.

"Wait you yell as us so we will live up to your potential." She asked pulling away from him, she couldn't believe he actually said that to her.

"Maybe" he answered suddenly becoming aware of how stupid his admission was.

"You better run now because I am going to hit you." She said smacking his arm before he had a chance to even react.

"Owe sorry I didn't mean it. Let's talk about something else that won't result in bodily harm." He tried calming her down; he really could be so stupid.

"I'm open to suggestions" she replied moving closer to him once more, she was just going to forget he ever said something that senseless.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your passion, how much you care about your team and how dedicated you are to them? And how impressed I am that you have not killed them yet?" He told her trying a mix of flattery and humor to repair the conversation.

"Well we did already decide they are basically my kids. I couldn't very well kill them. Then I would have to interview for their replacements. And that would be a nightmare." She laughed picking up her wine glass and finishing it off.

"You don't think you and I could do it?" he asked slightly surprised.

"I think we would kill each other" she admitted laughing a bit more.

"I would end up on the sofa wouldn't I?" he moaned.

"If you dared" she growled seductively at him, with her wine finished she was ready to move past talking on the sofa.

"Christ you are sexy when you are scary" he exclaimed.

"We could always go upstairs and explore these feelings in depth." She suggested standing up, it was time to make up for the past few days.

"I won't argue with that. Brian won't be calling in the middle of the night will he?" He asked standing up to join her.

"God I hope not. I saw the bike was still in the office" she asked heading for the stairs.

"I decided it looks good down there" he replied.

He couldn't see her giant grin but he knew it was there and he couldn't help but shake his head, at least he managed to do one thing that made her happy.

A/N All I can say is that you for the review and I am so happy you all have continued to read. Thanks!


	10. The Truth is Out There

The Truth is Out There

"You don't believe in aliens now do you?" Strickland joked. They were lying in bed cuddled together, it was late but neither could seem to sleep. The moon shone bright through the window illuminating the room allowing him to see Sandra's facial expression. She did not seem to find his question funny.

"No but I do believe in government cover ups." She replied with a huff, thinking about her latest frustrating case.

"Yes well those have always been around" he countered knowing she didn't like the way her strange case had turned out. He really was beginning to wish she and her team could just find a nice normal case to work. First it was a war criminal hiding in a drug rehab clinic run by monks and now it was a case of alien abduction turned government cover up.

"Well because of it, Brian is now paranoid that there are aliens hell bent on world domination. Gerry thinks this woman who appeared to be way out of his league is with the government. Though to be fair Jack, Brian, and I did joked about her being too good for him but we didn't actually mean it. We didn't think he would let paranoia take over." She explained to him how out of control this case had gotten. She almost wished Jack had never push this case and had just let things go. In her opinion more damage than good had been done.

"And you?" he asked slightly concerned, she had told him about everything they had discovered during the investigation and both came to the unhappy conclusion that there was nothing they could do.

"I don't like being lied to. I know what happened and I have no way to prove it because of the intelligence service." She really hated that particular division of the government right now. On top of everything else there was that group of alien nuts who were so convinced what happened was actually aliens, she was unable to use them as witnesses, they sounded too crazy to be believed.

"Sorry" he sympathized with her and it frustrated him that he could do nothing to help her.

"I just hate leaving a case unsolved. And yes I know I have quite a few in the office but that's different." She told him trying to roll out of his arms at what she perceived to be the start of a fight. He stopped her he had no intention of starting a row not when he was so comfortable.

"I wasn't going to say anything. Though if you're feeling like a government cover up we could always watch All the President's Men this weekend, or there is The Manchurian Candidate but it would have to be the original." He teased her.

"You know I'll pass" she resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him, her current insomnia was causing her to feel a bit childish.

"Good wasn't really in the mood" he laughed.

"Then you shouldn't have offered, what if I had said yes?" she countered.

"Then I would have suffered through it for you" he told her kissing the side of her head.

"You mean slept through it, you have this magnificent ability to fall asleep whenever you aren't interested in whatever we're watching." She said calling him out, it made it hard to show him films sometimes.

"What can I say it is a gift" he replied with a grin.

"Sure it is" she scoffed.

"Not to change the subject" he said, there was something he wanted to talk to her about but he was afraid she would say no, so he had been putting it off.

"Oh please do this one is going nowhere" she laughed grateful to talk about anything other than her case.

"What are your thoughts on trick or treating?" he asked trying to make it sound like an off handed silly question.

"I think you and I are both a little too old for it" she responded and laughed a bit harder at the thought.

"But Hermione and Rufus are not" he added venturing forward on the subject.

"Ah I see where this is going" she said and his heart started to beat faster worried about her reaction.

"They have a few days off from school at the end of October and those days fall around my weekend with them so they will be with me for on Halloween." He began but paused nervously.

"And?" she prompted. She had a feeling she knew what he wanted she just didn't understand why he seemed so nervous to ask her.

"And now that you met them and have spent some time with them" he continued stalling a little.

"You mean some actual non-drug induced time that I can actually remember" she joked hoping it would calm him enough so he would just tell her what he wanted.

"Yes real time with them. I was wondering if you would like to come out with us on Halloween?" he held his breath now that he finally said it.

"Would I have to dress up?" she asked, she had never gone trick or treating with children before for obvious reasons, so she had no idea what was expected. She didn't like the idea of dressing up though.

"I don't think so. I was thinking of putting on one of my old police hats for fun. We could always find you some cat ears." She made a face at this. "Or a witch's hat" he suggested playfully.

"Now the boys will think that was highly appropriate." She laughed, she could almost enjoy that.

"Does that mean you will do it?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes of course I will." She agreed, she wasn't sure why he thought she would refuse.

"Good I feel much better with there being two of us to watch them. I've had horrible visions of one of them running off because I am too busy watching the other." Now that had she agreed he felt the need to justify the whole situation.

"Is that the only reason you asked me to go with you?" she teased him.

"Heavens no if it were I could have just asked Brian he would never let them out of his sight. No any excuse to spend more time with you." He replied sweetly even after almost a year he still couldn't seem to get enough of her.

"What you're not sick of me yet?"

"Hell no" he exclaimed pulling her closer as if to prove it.

"Then I think I am doing something wrong" she laughed.

"No you are doing everything right" he kissed her.

"I highly doubt that" she said reflecting on all her past relationships all of which she had managed to screw up.

"One other favor" he asked nervous once again.

"For Halloween?" she questioned confused.

"Yes can we do it in your neighborhood it has more places to ...visit than mine, the kids won't be very impressed at my place, I know because they told me last year it wasn't that good." He said with a sigh. He didn't even want to tell her about last year, it had been rather disastrous and his two children had not let him live it down.

"Sure, I hope they have a more favorable opinion this year." She joked, she could tell his children's bad experience last year bothered him and she wanted to make him feel better.

"Thank you" he said sincerely now that she had agreed he was feeling much better about the whole Halloween situation.

"So what are they planning on dressing up as?" Sandra asked closing her eyes.

"I don't know, last I heard no final decisions had been made. Hermione said something about a vampire" he told her.

"What like the one from those books the ones that sparkle in the sun or something?" She had heard Gerry going on about these books they were the latest thing apparently and Caitlin was reading them. He said she couldn't shut up about some guy named Edward and how he was perfect. He had been concerned about her getting too serious with a guy until he found out he was a character in these books.

"I don't think so; she said something about a cape with a collar like Dracula. I think she might be too young for those books yet. I hope." He said thinking about all the teenagers and women on the television gushing about them.

"And Rufus?" she asked curious what the rambunctious little boy had planned.

"He liked the idea of being a superhero or a pirate. I think he keeps changing his mind."

"Guess we will be surprised."

"Thank you so much" he told her in a grateful tone, he really did appreciate her agreeing to do this. He didn't want her to think he had taken her willingness to participate for granted and he understood it was not just a normal trip out with his children.

"I don't have to do anything do I? I don't have to get a crazy complex outfit on a sugar high six year old or put intricate makeup on a very picky eleven year old do I? Cause things might not go so well." She inquired her eyes suddenly popped open as a fear came over her.

"No I swear we'll show up at your door all ready to go. You will have nothing to do but come watch them collect candy from your neighbors which we will look over closely before they ever eat any of it." He reassured her.

"I think I can handle that." She replied closing her eyes once more. This could be fun she thought as sleep finally started to take hold.

A/N Thank you for reading. The next chapter covers Halloween were things don't go as planned and Gerry, Jack, and Brian get nosy.


	11. Halloween

A/N This is another story not written as a follow up to an episode but I promise it is shorter this time. Thanks!

Halloween

"Sandra I really need your help" Strickland cried the moment she answered the phone but she could barely make out what he was saying as his kids were yelling in the back ground.

"Robert what the hell is all that noise?" she asked, it sounded like Rufus and Hermione were screaming at each other but she couldn't tell what they were saying

"I can't explain right now Hermione's shirt ripped I don't know how to fix it how fast can you get home to your place?" he asked her desperately, he was in his car trying to keep his children from killing each other.

"Fifteen to twenty minutes depending on traffic" she answered looking at the clock, it was almost half past four and rush hour had already started.

"We'll be there waiting please hurry I can't deal with this I have no idea what I'm doing." He admitted with a sigh, how could he not manage to control his own children?

"Okay I'll be right there" she promised hanging up the phone. She grabbed her coat and handbag and quickly headed out of her office. "I have to go home some kind of clothing emergency or something or other to do with Hermione's shirt that can't wait. See you all tomorrow." She told them quickly as the three men looked up at her. She walked out the door before they could respond.

"I think she is dealing with this whole kid thing very well." Gerry commented as she disappeared up the stairs.

"He doesn't have them most of the time" Jack shot back at him.

"Still" Gerry replied with a grin. Sandra Pullman was not the domestic type, at least she wasn't till she met those kids.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The moment she walked through the door she could hear father and daughter still fighting, but she couldn't tell if tears were involved or not. She threw her hand bag and coat down and walked toward the sound. Before she could get more than a few steps the youngest Strickland came running toward her.

"Sandra" he called out gleefully "I'm a cowboy." He said jumping around clearly excited. She knelt down so she was level with him, his face looked pale and he was sweating a little, she assumed he had been running around unnoticed while the other two fought.

"Sandra I don't feel so good." He told her when he finally stopped bouncing, she was in the process of lifting her hand to feel his forehead to check for a fever when he suddenly threw up all over her black top and the floor. Sandra froze in shock for a moment, she had not been expecting this from the boy and it took a few seconds before she could react.

"Robert" she called as she stood up carefully. She looked back down at Rufus and saw the tears pooling in his eyes. "It's okay Roo do you feel like you're going to throw up again?" To her relief he shook his head no but that wasn't enough to stop the tears.

"Well that's good did you get any on your outfit?" she asked looking him over.

"No" he cried a big tear ran down his cheek.

"Then everything will be just fine." She assured him, she wanted to hug him as she said it but she was in no state to be giving hugs.

"Robert" she called louder and a little harsher this time.

"Sandra" he said coming out in to the hallway. "What happened?" he gasped taking one look at her.

"Roo isn't feeling that well clearly as he just threw up, please tell me you haven't been feeding them candy all day?" She would kill him if he had created two hyper active children.

"I picked them up from school two hours ago; I don't know what they had at school but they haven't had any since I got them." He replied he hadn't thought to asked about their candy intake when he picked them up. He mentally kicked himself as that should have been one of the first question he asked them.

"Roo sweetie how much candy have you had?" she asked looking back down at the little boy.

"Two pieces I didn't want any more." He told her continuing to cry. She reached down with her one clean hand and successfully felt his forehead this time, he felt quite warm and she was sure he had a fever.

"Okay I am going to go up and get changed. Can you clean this up?" she asked looking at Strickland.

"Yeah" he promised looking around at the hard wood floor.

"I will then be down to fix your shirt, Hermione." She told the girl in the doorway who looked like she was in shock as well. The girl nodded looking between her brother, the floor, and Sandra. "What's for dinner?" she asked, clearly she needed to take control of the situation.

"Frozen pizza" he told her flatly still looking at the floor.

"Good, I need you to put the pizza in the oven, Roo has a fever so I then need you to go to the chemists and get some children's fever reducer unless you happen to have some with you?" She asked hopefully.

"I don't" he frowned, he didn't even have any at his place, the kids had never gotten sick when they were with him. He was beginning to feel like a useless father.

"Then you need to go get some, please check and see if we have crackers and ginger beer or sprite before you go, if we don't get some of that too." She instructed him firmly, hopefully he didn't need her to write it down cause that wasn't an option at the moment.

"Right" he replied coming out of his daze ready to do what she asked him.

"Hermione can you get your brother a glass of water. Roo honey go in the bathroom and wash out your mouth out with water first then just take a few sips of the water. I will be right back down okay?" She told the children, Hermione nodded and headed toward the kitchen followed by her father and brother.

Sandra turned around and made her way up the stairs and into the bedroom. She carefully took off her shirt that was now a complete disaster and tried to wash the vomit off before tossing it in the laundry. Once done with her shirt she quickly changed into her jeans and a fitted t-shirt. Now that she was finally clean once more she managed to fine some rarely used needled and thread. Almost as an after though she grabbed one of her oversized t-shirt before heading back down stairs. Hermione would need something to wear while her shirt was being fixed. To her relief the hallway was now cleaned up and Roo sat on the sofa with his water in hand looking miserable. She felt bad for the little boy, he had been so excited in the moments before he threw up.

"Here Hermione why don't you take your shirt off and put this on while I fix the one you have on." She suggested handing the shirt to the girl who quickly swapped one for the other.

"Thanks" she said handing Sandra her ripped white shirt.

"I see everything got cleaned up" she replied coming to stand next to Strickland in the kitchen.

"Yes and you look a lot better now too. Sorry about that." He apologized, he couldn't believe how out of control the night had become. This was not what he was planning when he had asked her two weeks ago.

"I haven't had that kind of welcome home present since university. Boyfriend at the time really liked to drink." She laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"I can imagine why you dumped him." He responded with a smile thankful she was taking this all in with a sense of humor. She could have easily been furious with him, "So pizza is in the oven, fifteen minutes and it will be done. Crackers and Sprite on the counter and I am going to run out and get some children's fever reducer. I think he prefers the chew-able kind." He told her proud of himself for remembering everything she told him to do.

"I would think so he's six." She laughed again. She had no idea when kids were able to swallow pills without trouble but she was pretty sure six was still too young.

"Right I'll be back as soon as I can thank you" he said giving her a quick kiss and then running out the door. He understood that if any of his children were going to managed to go trick or treating they were running out of time.

Taking a deep breath she took the shirt with the needle and thread and she sat down the on sofa next to Roo. Quickly she began to stitch together the ripped sleeve she didn't even want to know what had happened to cause the tear. That topic was one best left alone lest another argument began. The little boy put down his water and curled up on her so his head was practically in her lap. He seemed so sad and she wished there was something she could do to make him better.

"How are you feeling?" she asked trying to sew and look at him at the same time all while not stabbing her finger with the needle.

"Icky but not as icky as before" he answered her weakly.

"Well that's good. Do you want to try some crackers and Sprite while Hermione eats her pizza in a little bit?"

"Maybe" he replied as he snuggled closer to her.

"Roo I want you to tell me two things honestly." She said putting the shirt down for a minute and running her hand through his hair which was a little damp from sweat.

"K" he answered looking up at her a little bit.

"First question, how long have you felt sick?"

"Since I got to school it was really warm and my tummy didn't feel good. I don't think it liked the cereal I had for breakfast. The candy only made it worse." He told her and he sounded like he was about to cry again.

"Right, second question, do you still want to go trick or treating? Or would you rather stay here with me and we can see what is on TV?" She asked him rubbing his back a little.

"I wanna go" he cried emphatically looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes. She could see the tears pooling in them and she felt so bad for him.

"Okay we'll figure it out" she promised him. She understood it was a special night for him and she couldn't bare to tell him no, they would just have to find a way. She rubbed his back a little more and then picked Mione's shirt back up and began to sew once more.

It took almost ten minutes to fix the shirt but soon the tear was gone and it was practically good as new or as close to prefect as it would be with her barely passable sewing skills.

"There we go all done up we go" She said standing herself and Roo up Hermione came to take her newly fixed shirt back but Sandra stopped her.

"Why don't we wait till after you're done with your pizza before you put it back on? Or you might look like you already devoured a victim." Sandra had visions of pizza sauce all over the white shirt and that would be a lot harder to get out in the limited time left.

"Yeah that probably a better idea" the girl giggled.

"I should check on the pizza don't want it to burn on top of everything else." She sighed and went to move but Roo was suddenly in her way. She had expected him to lie back down once she was up but he chose to rest his head against her leg instead.

"Will you hold me I don't want to lay here alone?" he asked and he sounded so miserable she couldn't possibly say no.

"Ah yeah of course" she agreed bending down to pick him up. Luckily he didn't weigh that much because she could just see how much fun the boys would have teasing her if she pulled her back out. She headed for the oven and was just about there when the door bell rang.

"Who could that be? Did your dad forget his key?" She sighed balancing Roo on her hip she went to answer the door.

"What the hell do you three want?" She cried when she saw Jack, Brian, and Gerry on the other side of the door.

"You forgot your hat" Jack said holding up her witches' hat. The last word was lost as he looked at her in shock with a child in her arms Sandra looked far more domestic than any of them had ever seen her.

That morning she thought it would be fun to try her witches hat out on the boys and had dressed all in black to make the image complete. She thought they would enjoy it and she had been right. But in her haste to get home she forgot the hat and hadn't even realized it till they showed up with it.

"Not that it looks like you need it now." Gerry added taking in her clothing change and the child in her arms as well.

"Yeah I had to change, I think the witch is going to be sidelined tonight" she informed them.

"No you can be a cool urban witch if you wear it with those clothes." Hermione told her with a giant smile. She hadn't even noticed the girl had joined them at the door till she spoke.

"You heard her, hand the lady the hat" Sandra laughed.

The timer for the pizza chose that exact moment to go off interrupting their conversation.

"If you three are here you're helping." She said looking directly at the three men and making a quick decision. "Gerry can you please get the pizza out of the oven before it burns, once it cools off can you please cut it. Hermione why don't you go wash your hands." She said walking back into the kitchen as the three followed her.

"You go it." Gerry agreed heading for the oven turning off the timer.

"Brian drinks, can you get me a glass of milk for Hermione" Brian nodded and went to do as she requested. "Roo you ready for some Sprite?" He shook his head no. "Okay maybe once your dad gets back with some medicine."

"Are you feeling sick Roo?" Jack asked but the only response he got was the little boy hiding his face him Sandra's shoulder.

"That would be a yes" Sandra answered for the boy.

"Sandra what would you like to drink?" Brian called to her as he began pouring the milk into a glass for the girl.

"Just get me a glass of water please."

Jack went to help with the pizza, he removed a plate and held it for the other man as he cut the pizza. Hermione was already at the table when Gerry placed her pizza in front of her joining her glass of milk which Brian had just handed her.

"Thank you" she said smiling at the food.

"It's hot I would wait a minute before you eat." Gerry warned her. "So what are you dressing up as?"

"A vampire my cape and fangs are over there. My shirt needed to be fixed, Roo ripped it" the girl complained.

"I did not" the little boy yelled back at her from Sandra's arms. He began squirming to look at his sister making it harder for her to hold him.

"Okay it's fixed now and it doesn't matter how it got ripped." Sandra said stopping the fight, as she walked over to the counter "Roo at least have a cracker please" she begged him.

"Okay" he agreed softly.

"Thank you" she sighed handing him a salted cracker.

"Having a fun evening?" Gerry joked and she just glared at him and he immediately knew better than to tease her any further.

"Where is your father? It doesn't take this long to run to the chemist it is like four blocks away." She asked rhetorically as she looked at her watch, they were running out of time.

"They might be extra busy tonight" Jack warned, the thought had not occurred to her and she was about to grab her mobile and call him when he rushed through the door.

"Sorry there was a line last minute Halloween stuff I guess." He called as he came bursting into the kitchen. "Oh hello" he stuttered looking up to see the three men who were not there when he left. "What are you three doing here?" he asked confused he had completely missed the extra car in the drive he was too focused on getting back.

"We had to bring Sandra her hat" Brian told him, they all knew it didn't take three men to delivery one hat but that was a rather moot issue and not even worth bring up.

"And we got drafted to help with dinner" Gerry told him.

"I told you, you stay you help. Did you get the medicine?" she asked hopefully focusing on what needed to happen and the sick boy in her arms.

"Ah yeah here we go" he responded handing her the bag.

"Okay, Roo time to sit at the table" she said walking over to the piece of furniture. Reluctantly and to her great relief he allowed her to sit him down on one of the chairs. She then opened the package and began reading the direction; she had little experience with children's medicine and after a few minutes she gave him the prescribed dosage. As he chewed them she grabbed his water, poured him some Sprite grabbing the crackers and put them all down in front of the boy.

"Have a little to drink too but don't overdo it." She warned him and he just nodded.

"Would you like something to eat?" Gerry whispered to her, she was about to say yes when she was interrupted.

"Dad what about make up?" Hermione cried, she had finished her pizza in record time. Now that she was full she had moved on to more important things.

"Hermione we already talked about this you are eleven you don't need makeup." Her father told her in an exasperated tone.

"It's Halloween dad and I need vampire make up, the old school kind, mom said it was okay." She whined loudly to him.

"I don't even know what that means" he told her becoming very frustrated.

"Dad" she roared.

"Hermione stop this now" he growled reprimanding her. The girl was gearing up for another row when Sandra put a stop to it; they had no time and too many things to worry about.

"Okay how about this I will put a little eyeliner on her and I think I have some red lipstick somewhere so she can have blood red lips. Does that sound like something you both can agree on?" She asked, though her tone made it clear that they both had better agree.

"Yeah that would work" Mione said settling down a little.

"I suppose so" Strickland replied he couldn't see how it would do much harm at this point.

"Good let me run back up stairs." She replied moving as quickly as she could, she maneuvered around all the men who now filled the kitchen and flew up the stairs. She grabbed her black eyeliner and found her red lipstick. Red wasn't really her color but she knew she had one somewhere evidence of a failed experiment from years past. Two minutes later she was downstairs and in front of the girl once more.

"Okay Hermione you ready?" the girl nodded, "try not to blink" she warned her. Carefully Sandra managed to put a dark thick line around the girls eyes that she hopped was worthy of Dracula. And then she added a bit of red on her lips to finish off her look.

"Go look in the bathroom mirror" she told the girl and Hermione ran off quickly to the loo. She came running back a minute later and plowed in Sandra giving her a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, it's perfect" she squealed much to Sandra's relief.

"Glad you like it. Why don't you run back to the loo and change into your outfit cape and all, we need to head out soon." She said and the girl once again ran off.

"I need to run upstairs for a minute to get my hat" Strickland told her looking at his watch.

"Right, Roo can Gerry help you put your boots on?" She asked and Roo nodded as did Gerry.

"Should we be letting him go out?" Strickland asked her quietly.

"Didn't you tell me he has been so excited about tonight? I asked him and he still wants to go he will be very upset if Mione goes and he doesn't. How can we tell him no? When I talked to him he made it clear he really wants to go. We will just have to get him through it, he will be heartbroken if you tell him no." Sandra told him softly so that no one else could her them.

"Yeah you're right" he agreed with a sighed. He quickly realized she was correct his son had been so excited he had been talking about it for weeks. "We'll figure it out I'll get my hat." He assured her before heading for the stairs.

As Strickland disappeared Sandra went into the kitchen as he ran upstairs. She grabbed two bottles of water, a can of sprite put some crackers in a snack container and tossed them all in her handbag. By the time she was done Hermione was dressed and Roo had his shoes on. Strickland was down with his police hat on and she let a sigh of relief escape her lips. She was tired and the evening had barely started.

"Looks like we're about ready" She said and Roo came walking over and leaned against her leg.

"Sandra can you please…?" he asked holding his arms up.

"Of course" she agreed picking him up once more.

"You want your hat?" she asked as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"Yeah" he replied.

"I got it, I actually got you both." Jack said putting the cowboy hat on Roo and the black witch's hat on Sandra. "Perfect" he added looking at both of them. He couldn't help but think how natural she looked with a child in her arms.

"Sandra where's your camera?" Gerry asked her looking at all four of them with a smile, they made a good looking family.

"In the drawer behind you, why?" she asked confused.

"You're gonna want a picture of this" he told her with a knowing look.

"Okay but be quick. Thank you" she said understanding why he was doing it. Gerry took a few picture as quickly as he could, he knew how antsy kids could get and a sick kid could be even worse.

"Done" he said with a smile handing her the camera.

"Good we should probably be going, thank you guys for your help" she told them and she meant it, they had actually been a great help to her.

"You four have a good evening we'll get out of your hair" Jack replied with a smile.

"Bye" Gerry and Brian called as the three headed for the door.

"Night night" she yelled after them. The three men quickly left before they got recruited for something else.

"Are we all ready to go?" Sandra asked looking around to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"I think so" Strickland answered.

"Yeah" Hermione said practically bouncing.

"Then let's go, Roo please tell me if you think you are going to throw up again." She asked the boy in her arms as they left the house. The last thing she needed was him throwing up all over her again. Luckily the night was warm and none of them needed coats, she was pretty sure that would have turned into yet another fight.

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"That was so much fun" Hermione cried as they walked back into the house over two hours later.

"How does she have that much energy?" Strickland asked Sandra walking slowly behind his daughter.

"I don't know I'm exhausted and starving" she told him with a moan.

"Here let me take him from you" He said moving to take the sleeping child out of her arms. The little boy had gotten down to walk on his own for a while before tiring himself out. Strickland carried him for a while but then the medicine clearly began to wear off and he became a less than happy little boy. They stopped and he had a cracker and some Sprite which helped but he insisted Sandra carry him at which point he fell asleep.

"You're not going to try and take them back to your place tonight are you?" she asked concerned.

"No I was hoping we could crash here, their bags are actually still in the car we never made it to my place" he replied hopefully.

"You are more than welcome to stay but I only have a double bed in my guest room" she reminded him.

"They'll be fine. I'll be right back I'm going to lay him down." He told her turning and walking upstairs.

She nodded and headed into the kitchen, she grabbed a cold slice of pizza, it wasn't what she would call good but she was too hungry to even care. She hadn't touched food of any kind since lunch.

"Sandra can I watch telly?" Hermione called to her from the sofa where she had flopped down.

"Yes, no candy though it is far too late for sugar and your dad will want to look it over first." She instructed the girl.

"Got it" she called remote already in hand.

As she continued to eat the cold pizza she heard Strickland moving in and out of the house and she assumed he was dealing with his children's bags. Eventually he made his way back down and into the kitchen.

"The cowboy is now asleep in his pajamas. Hermione your bag is upstairs if you want to change." He called to his daughter.

"Are we staying here tonight?" she asked looking away from the TV.

"Yes that means you have to share a bed with your brother." He informed her preparing himself, he was expecting some argument from her.

"Whatever" she said turning back to the television much to his relief. Finally he turned his attention back to the woman next to him and watched as she finished drinking her glass of water.

"Sandra how can I possibly thank you. You where perfect tonight. You didn't even blink when Roo threw up on you. That would have sent a lot of people running for the hills. But you took control and fixed everything you were amazing." He didn't know how he could possibly thank her enough. She had been great tonight while he had all but lost control of the situation.

"Well this was far from the first time someone has thrown up on me and if you didn't notice I'm very good at taking control. Working with those three is like working with children." She reminded him with a big smile. Though this was hardly the night she had been expecting.

"It was more than that I don't even know how you managed to carry Roo for so long. And after I promised you wouldn't have to do anything but come with us, you had to do just about everything. I'm sorry and I love you." He said giving her a kiss, he suddenly realized it was the first chance he had to kiss her all night.

"Well you are about to be in charge now because I am going up to take a nice hot bath and go to sleep. I need to go to work tomorrow" she reminded him, she felt like she could sleep for days.

"I am half tempted to just let her fall asleep in front of the TV." He commented following her up. He would give his daughter an hour and then if she wasn't asleep he would send her to bed that was if he didn't fall asleep first.

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"Morning" she called her voice betrayed the exhaustion she felt as she entered the office the next morning.

"Morning we weren't sure if we would see you after last night." Gerry commented taking a drink of his coffee.

"What exactly did we walk into last night?" Jack asked her looking up from his paper.

"Hermione's shirt was ripped and needed fixed that's why I got called home early. I walked in the door I had just taken my coat off and Rufus threw up all over me and the floor." She answered him hanging up her bag.

"Well that was nice of him" Jack replied with a little laugh.

"Turns out he hadn't been feeling well all day but didn't tell anyone. Thought it's not the first time someone has thrown up on me." She added coming back to the main room.

"Yeah not in this job" Brian commented.

"But at least this time it wasn't a grown man who knew better than to drink too much eh Gerry?" she replied looking at the older man.

"Ah yeah" he agreed slightly embarrassed and he looked away he really didn't want to talk about it.

"What's all this then?" Jack asked. He couldn't remember anytime Gerry had thrown up on Sandra.

"The last time someone threw up on me it was Gerry. After a big football match as I recall. He phoned and begged me to drive him home from the pub. I get there and he throws up all over my shoes. Let's just say I was less than pleased." She told Jack and Brian happy to share Gerry's embarrassing moment with them.

"Hey that was food poising" Gerry tried to defend himself.

"Sure it was" she laughed out loud at him.

"Any way how is the little guy?" Gerry asked desperate to change the subject.

"He is okay still sick, I left all three of them asleep. Two of whom are in my bed" she sighed; she couldn't remember the last time she felt this tired.

"Oh" Jack inquired raising an eyebrow at her.

"Roo woke up in the middle in the night and insisted on crawling into bed with us. God I need a bigger bed. It is not meant for three people. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep after that, he was still feeling terrible. I gave him more medicine and he was able to fall back asleep. I hope this is one of those 24 hour bugs, for all our sakes." She explained to them, just telling them was exhausting.

"Sounds like you could really use a cup of coffee" Brian said getting up to make her a one.

"Oh can't we just put an IV in" she asked and the three laughed. "So why exactly did all three of you need to return my hat last night?" She inquired giving them a look; she knew they were being nosy but she was a little curious what exactly they would try on her. The three men looked at each other but said nothing. She hadn't have a free moment to ask them last night but she had plenty now and she wanted to know.

"Um well you see…"Jack tried but couldn't up with a real reason other than the excuse they had already given her.

"We thought…" Gerry tried but he too couldn't come up with anything.

"You needed your hat" Brian told her and the other two nodded.

"You know what I am too tired to care" she sighed. "Thank you Brian" she said taking the steaming mug from him. She blew on it and then set it down on the table. "I am actually glad you three showed up, thank you for your help."

"You pressed us into service" Gerry gripped.

"Just think of it as punishment for whatever it was you three were up to." She informed them with a knowing smile.

"Sounds fair" Jack agreed, she was right they came to check things out more than returning her hat.

"So did the kids have fun" Gerry asked.

"Yeah they did, Hermione was still bouncing when we got home. Roo crashed halfway through and insisted I carry him for the rest of the night, but it was worth it, they both had fun." She told them thinking back on the previous night and smiling.

"You're getting rather fond of those kids aren't you?" Gerry inquired with a grin.

"Yes I am." She said proudly.

"And they seem to like you very much." Jack threw in; he didn't mind seeing this side of her.

"I was worried they would hate me thankfully they actually seem to like me. But god are they tiring." She sighed and they all laughed as she collapsed on the couch.

A/N Thank you for reading, thank you for the reviews. I hope the story was appropriately festive.


	12. Fresh Start

Fresh Start

"Sandra I have never said this to you before but I have to- I think you're wrong." They were standing in the kitchen sharing a bottle of wine waiting for their curry dinner to be delivered. He had listened to her rant and rave about her latest case and he was a bit surprised to hear her say some of the things she thought.

"I'm what?" she yelled back at him shocked he would say something like that to her.

"You're wrong" he said again holding his ground.

"About what exactly?" she asked folding her arms in front of her and giving him an angry stare which he ignored.

"About Victoria Fleeting. She wasn't that wrong she was in a terrible situation, she found a way out away from that monster, the woman who died was dead she wasn't coming back but Victoria's husband wasn't going to let her go. You must know that, the moment he found her he beat her up. She has a baby now and she is going to jail away from her child. You know the domestic violence statistics just as well as I do. Saving that baby from a man like that is the most important thing and she did that." He told her.

"That woman had a daughter who deserved to know her mum was dead. What would you have me do just leave this case alone?" She couldn't believe he was saying this to her.

"No but you need to understand that everyone's lives were ruined as well not just this girl." He had never seen her react this way before. She was usually the rational one at least most of the time. It was only when something in a case hit too close to home that she lost her perspective and her reasoning. He had a feeling that was exactly what was going on right now.

"That girl is the only innocent party in all of this" she growled at him.

"What about the baby who may now have to spent time with a violent father before someone can prove how violent he is?" She just glared at him. "Why do I feel like this is more about you and your father than an abused woman taking advantage of another woman's death?" He asked he knew there was something more to it than the actual case, so he took a logical guess that it had something to do with her and her past.

"What are you getting at exactly?" She hissed and he knew he hit the nail on the head, she saw something of herself in this girl and the situation that occurred.

"You don't get this emotional about a case unless you relate to it personally somehow." He told her, he wasn't about to sugar coat it. She was being more than a little unreasonable and he had no other option he was not about to lie to her and tell her she was being sensible and right. He knew he was risking the serenity of the evening and his sleeping arrangements for the night but he felt like there was something she needed to talk about.

"So what if I do?" she seethed through gritted teeth.

"Then tell me this isn't really about a scared angry grieving fourteen year old who just lost her father who later found out she was lied to?" He asked calling her out.

"I..." she didn't know what to say she didn't want to think about it she wanted to focus on the case not herself not her dad. She was angry at him for bring it up, most men would have been smart enough to just let it go. But no she had to fall in love with a police officer who was too smart for his own good sometimes.

"Do you think if someone had told you the truth that it would have made it better?" He asked, she was quite and wouldn't look at him.

"Maybe" she said softly taking a large drink of wine. She wanted to yell and scream at him tell him he was wrong the problem was she knew how true his statement really was she just wasn't ready to admit it.

"I know you can't honestly think that." He replied putting his hand on her arms hoping she would look at him. It worked her eyes flew up to his filled with rage.

"Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much if I had known he killed himself. Instead of being so angry at the world for taking him away instead of screaming to myself that heart attacks are for old people." She yelled jerking her arm free from his touch.

"Instead you would have been angry with him for leaving you." He said finishing her thought.

"Yeah well then I would have known who to be angry with" she countered.

"You still would have been angry" he pointed out.

"But I deserved to know." She cried and he could see unshed tears in her eyes.

"Maybe, but your mother didn't think it was a good thing for you to know." He told her calmly.

"It wasn't her choice to keep it from me why did she get to decide." She asked as the tears fell down her cheeks. He came up and brushed them away with his thumbs gently. He then pulled her into his arms and to his relief she didn't fight him.

"Because she is your mother. Let me tell you something about being a parent. You have no idea what you're doing, but you do know one thing. You will protect your child by doing whatever it takes to guard them from anything and everything that hurts or could hurt them. All we have to go on is our gut. It doesn't matter how old they get I will always want to protect Mione and Roo." He told her trying to explain as he rubbed her back in a vain attempt to comfort her. He could feel her body shaking from the tears that were still falling down her cheeks.

"That is what this girl's mother was doing. She felt there was more risk of harm if her daughter was deported. So she did the only thing she could think of she gave her up and ran. She knew if her daughter was aware of the plan then it wouldn't work. She left and she wasn't coming back. Her daughter was never supposed to know what happened to her. All she wanted to do was protect her daughter. I completely understand what she did, any parent would do that if pushed into the corner she was. And your mother lied about your dad's death because she knew it would devastate you if you knew the truth. She couldn't bring your father back so she did the next best thing. She preserved your memory of him and tried to minimize the hurt and harm his death would cause you. And as a parent you do all of it knowing our child might hate you for it, because our main job is to protect them." He stood there with her sobbing in his arms and proceeded to explain the difficulties and sacrifices that came as part of the parenting job.

"How was my dad killing himself protecting me in any way?" She asked trying to pull away but he held her tight not allowed her to run away from the comfort she needed. She was asking the real question now, it wasn't all about her mother lying to her but about the choices her dad had made.

"He was about to be arrested if he thought he was going to jail maybe he was protecting you so you didn't have to deal with that." He told her trying to think of a reason why, he personally thought the man was a coward who abandoned his wife and daughter instead of facing up to what he had done but he would never tell her that.

"But I had to grow up without him. I was stuck with her and she knew what he did and probably hates him for it to this day. But I didn't and I only loved him. God no wonder we couldn't and still can't get along." She cried into his shoulder.

"All she ever wanted to do was protect you. Parents make mistakes and people make mistakes." He informed her trying to make her feel better but he wasn't sure what else he could tell her that would take away the hurt and pain. She didn't say anything and he started to rub her back once more hoping it would calm her.

"What are we going to do with that very angry fourteen year old?" He asked her quietly, she tried to pull away again and this time he let her, but only far enough so he could look her in the eyes. They were red and still filled with tears but he watched her take a deep breath trying to get her emotions under control.

"She grew up, she decided to be just like the man she lost, she became driven and she accomplished most of what she wanted to do. That angry teenager only ever shows up when something hits to close to home I suppose as you implied earlier." She explained to him, he let her pull away a little more and she wiped her remaining tears away the anger she felt all day was finally gone.

"You say you accomplished most of what you wanted; do you feel UCOS stopped you?" He asked her a bit confused. She had been offered promotion several times since she had started UCOS and each time she had turned it down. He thought that meant she was happy but now he wasn't sure.

"Yes I do but I don't see that as a bad thing because what I wanted before wasn't making me happy." She told him quickly she didn't want him to feel like UCOS was keeping her from what she really wanted to do. What she really wanted to do was work with him and Gerry, Jack and Brian in their small basement office. "Sometimes I feel like everything I did before was what that angry fourteen year old wanted. Now finally with UCOS and the guys I'm actually happy. Most of the time." She admitted smiling up at him a little, it had taken a long time and the accidental shooting of a dog but she finally found something that made her happy.

"I'm glad to hear that" he replied returning her smile.

"Yes but that angry child still shows up every once in a while" she told him with a sigh.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked, she didn't need to deal with this all on her own anymore.

"Exactly what you're doing" she replied giving him a real smile. The first one he had seen all day. He had been worried about her. And he was finally able to relax.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A little this was a crappy case. It seems like everyone gets punished yet the abusive husband practically gets off with a slap on the wrist." She said and some of her frustrations returned, but at least they were slightly more rational complaints.

"Not all cases have good endings or happy endings the way we want them to." He reminded her it was the price of being a police officer.

"I know and that pisses me off" she growled taking another large drink of her wine.

"I know, come here." He asked pulling her into his arms again. "It is okay to let that fourteen year old out. Your dad is always going to be a part of you as is what he did. Just as long as you can remember he wasn't perfect but he did love you. As do I. Just don't cut me out." He informed her and he captured he lips with his to prove how much he loved her.

A/N Thanks for reading and thank you for the very kind reviews.


	13. Shadow Show

Shadow Show

The party had been enjoyable, the car ride home quite but things changed the moment they walked thought the front door. Since entering the house Strickland had not stopped lecturing Sandra about how she could have died tonight and how she needed to be more careful with her life. He had steamrolled past all her attempts to say anything in her own defense and her temper was starting to rise. Yet it was clear he was paying very little attention to her whatsoever or he quickly would have noticed how close she was to letting her temper lose on him. Taking a deep breath she decided a different approach was required as he hadn't stopped talking the entire time. She needed to find a way to shut him up.

It took some work but as he ranted and yelled she managed to get him in their bedroom sans his clothes. He wasn't listening to her and he wasn't letting her talk and she had thoroughly had enough. She was going to make him listen whether he like it or not. She pushed him down on the bed and he gave her a giant smile, quiet for the first time since they returned home fifteen minutes before.

Men, she thought so predictable, he thought he was getting lucky and in truth he had no idea how annoyed she was and what she actually had planned. She was still clothed in her tiny white v-neck t-shirt, she wanted him to focus on her but not that much. She then proceeded to climb on top of him, his smile only grew.

"I like where this I headed" he commented with a stupid grin on his face. She couldn't believe he was dumb enough to think she would go from being yelled at by him to have sex with him in the span of minutes. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes reminding herself that his grin would be gone soon enough.

"I'm sure you do" she said seductively leaning down to kiss him and as she did she quickly captured his hand with the handcuffs she had been concealing. And then just as quickly she had the other end attached to the headboard.

"Sandra?" He questioned still giving her a goofy grin. "I thought you would have wanted to stay away from anything kinky after that film thing."

"Oh we're not having sex." She stated and his face fell much to her amusement.

"We're not?" He questioned clearly getting a bit nervous.

"No I'm going to talk and you're going to listen" she told him firmly.

"Where's the key" he asked looking around.

"Downstairs, you aren't getting out of them till I'm done talking."

"Sandra isn't this a little overly dramatic, we could have had this conversation on the sofa without the cuffs." He asked confused this was out of character for her and he couldn't help but feel nervous. It had been a long day for both of them and he was hoping to have a stress free end to the day.

"Yes this well may be a bit dramatic but I tried to have this conversation downstairs you wouldn't let me get a word in, so no clearly we could not do this on the sofa. Now I have your complete attention for the first time all night and there is no way you're going anywhere." She replied glaring at him.

"Sandra what exactly is this about?" he asked, for the first time he was starting to notice the anger radiating off her and he was becoming concerned.

"You have proceeded to lecture me about my safety from the moment we walked through that door. I have barely gotten to say a word and I'm sick of it. So now that I have your undivided attention it's my turn to talk and your turn to listen." She told him harshly, she got off him and stood up standing next to the bed looking down at him.

"Sandra-"

"No, I talk you listen" she growled and he wisely nodded. "Good, now first off, I did not go to the studio tonight expecting to get held at gun point. All Gerry and I were doing was following a suspect, I was not alone. The crazy man with the gun showed up as Gerry and I were leaving. I didn't go walking into a dangerous situation it found me and you don't get to hold me responsible for that." She told him and she began to pace the floor.

"But more importantly, I am a police officer, a pretty good one I think, and I know how to take care of myself. You should know better than anyone, this job can be dangerous; you can't protect me even though you may desperately want to. You can't keep me from danger and I would resent you if you did." She was yelling now, she stopped pacing and focused on him with an angry glare as she continued. "I did not act recklessly, I did not knowingly take risks I do not appreciate the presumption that I did and I do not appreciate the lecture as if I were a newly employed constable. I am a Detective Super and don't you ever forget it. I have survived a long time without a man like you watching out for me. So you need to take this macho male over protective bullshit and get rid of it right now. I will not be in that kind of a relationship. Do you understand me?" She growled at him expecting an answer.

"Yes I do" he said softly. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to lecture you and make you feel that way. You're right I do want to protect you and I will always feel the need to protect you but I will try and control myself in the future." He replied softly, he hung his head having been properly chastised. He knew she was right, everything she said was true and she was a good officer one of the best and he was wrong to question her like that. But the part of him that loved her was scared to death when he found out what happened. It didn't help that he found out after the whole situation was over once more. She had a gun pointed at her and he had no idea.

"You better" she told him talking once more and pulling him out of his thoughts. "Oh and don't ever split my team up like that again. They are retired under my remit to work on unsolved crimes, the cold ones not current murder investigations" she growled again.

"No worried there, after what Brian and Jack did no one wants them. They have no idea how you manage to work with them. I think everyone now believes you are a miracle worker." At this point a little flattery especially when true couldn't hurt.

"It is a miracle I haven't killed them by now." She sighed finally giving him a hint of a smile. She took a deep breath to calm herself, now that she had expelled all her pent up anger and frustration she was feeling far more relaxed.

"And me?" he asked.

"Yes it is a miracle I haven't killed you either." She added with a laugh taking the opportunity to climb back on top of him. "It does take quite a lot of patience to deal with all the male bullshit you four carry around."

"This is beginning to feel like an inappropriate position to be in while discussing work issues." He said pulling on the hand cuffs a little trying to see if she was ready to release him yet now that she had her say.

"Well I knew I had to have your full attention" she replied with a pointed look.

"You have it; I agree with everything you have said so can you please let me out of these cuffs?" he begged slightly. He did not like the steel around his wrist confining him to their bed.

"I don't know. I have been thinking of all the fun we could have like this. Maybe this case got my imagination going." She joked as she leaned down and kissed him, the opportunity was too much fun to pass up now that she had her say and got her anger out.

"I thought you said we weren't having sex?" he asked confused.

"I changed my mind, woman's prerogative I believe the saying goes." she teased him seductively. She was thinking of all the ways she could tease him while he was in his current position. A little wicked foreplay seemed fair after the way he treated her.

"Don't you think you should get the key just in case… please?" He asked suddenly afraid he might never be freed from the bed.

"Oh alright don't go anywhere." She ordered getting off him and heading out the door.

"Like I could" he yelled after her, as he pulled on the cuff to prove his point he heard a small cracking noise and froze. "I won't tell her about that." He said quietly to himself, she wouldn't exactly be trilled if he broke the bed.

A few hours later after she had her fun teasing him and they had their way with each other she found herself lying in his arms. She had been staring at the ceiling enjoying the feel and safety she found in his arms. The only problem was she couldn't get the evening's events out of her head. She kept seeing the barrel of that sawed off shotgun pointing right at her. Every time she closed her eyes it was there. She let out a sigh and extracted herself from his arms getting up looking for clothes to put on.

"What exactly are you doing?" He asked sitting up slightly confused, he had been very close to nodding off when her movement had awakened him.

"Putting clothes on" she told him as she looked around for something comfortable to wear.

"Why this is your house, you're not planning on going anywhere are you? I was planning on staying unless you're kicking me out" he joked. He spent most nights at her place and they were to the point where they were basically living together.

"I'm just cold" she said pulling her t-shirt on over her head.

"If you come back to bed I can warm you up" he said grinning at her.

"I was cold while in bed with you" she replied gruffly. He sensed her mood had changed, something was wrong but she wasn't being very forthcoming.

"Hey Sandra what's going on?" He asked getting up and pulling his boxers back on before he moved to standing next to her.

"Nothing's wrong" she replied but the tears that came rolling down her cheeks said otherwise. She turned away trying to hide them as she put a pair of pajama bottoms on, but he saw.

"Sandra come here" he called softly coming closer to her and pulling her into his arms. "Is this about earlier?" he asked.

"Yes" she said softly into his chest, much to her dismay a sob escaped.

"Let's lay back down" he suggested and she nodded, they quickly found their way back to bed and he held her in his arms once more.

"You know it is okay to be vulnerable you don't always have to be a sexy vixen who handcuffs her partner to the bed." He told her with a reassuring smile.

"I know" she said wiping a few tears away.

"And you are supposed to be upset when someone points a gun at your face." He reminded her just because they were police didn't mean they didn't get to have feelings and fears.

"I know but it seems to undermine my earlier argument that I can take care of myself." She admitted as a few more tears escaped.

"No it doesn't, there is a difference between taking care of yourself and being affected by a situation. It just means you're human and there is nothing wrong with that." He explained to her.

"I was afraid he was going to kill me I really did. For a few seconds I thought I would never get to see you again." She sobbed into his chest.

"You are safe now, you're alive" he assured her holding her tight and rubbing her back as she cried.

"I know" she answered softly.

"I got you and you can be strong and still cry" he reminded her. She nodded as she lay there with her head on his chest. "Is that where the whole thing with the handcuffs came from the need to feel alive?" He asked, he still couldn't help but feel the whole incident had been out of character especially for her. That wasn't to say they didn't have fun it just wasn't her usual way of dealing with things.

"Maybe, I don't even know, I just wanted you to stop lecturing me as if I didn't know how serious the situation was. As if I didn't know how close I came to dying, I had the bloody gun right in my face." She answered as a few angry tears slid down her cheeks, she took a deep breath trying to calm down.

"I'm sorry I wasn't thinking clearly, I was so worried about something happening to you I forgot to think of how you might be feeling after it was over." He apologized once more kissing her forehead.

"I just can't stop see that gun" she moaned into his chest.

"I'm sorry anything I can do?" he asked her he was now disparate to make her feel better.

"I don't think so, if sex can't make it go away I don't think anything will." She admitted smiling slightly.

"I think that is a compliment but it only makes me feel like I didn't do a good enough job" he sighed.

"Oh trust me you did" she reassured him. "I love you" she added softly.

"I love you too" he told her holding her tight hoping a good night's sleep would help her to feel better.

"Who would have thought that Brian was the only thing keeping that guy from killing me, thank god he took that negotiation class." She told him still thinking of the day's events.

"Yeah but he failed that class everyone died during his final negotiation." He told her confused as that piece of information hadn't made him feel any better.

"What!" she cried bolting up. "I'm going to kill those three."

a/n Thanks for reading Happy Halloween!


	14. Death of a Time Share Salesman

Death of a Time Share Salesman

"So I'm dying to know how you got out of that ACPO seminar." Sandra told him as they lounged on the hotel bed, a film was playing on the television but they had stopped paying attention. The two were wrapped in each other's arms enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon away. At the last minute Strickland proposed they take off for the weekend and get out of town just the two of them.

"A little white lie" he replied with a wicked smile. She usually only saw that smile when he was playing with his children and it only made her curious and suspicious.

"Oh? Are you going to tell me?" she inquired.

"The tried and true excuse of food poisoning. The key is you have to wait till the very last minute." He told her, this impromptu trip was so much better than a boring seminar. Strickland had been dying to go away with her for a weekend holiday for a very long time. Just after they arrived home from work Friday evening he sprung the idea on her. The hotel was booked before he even asked her and ninety minutes later they were in his car driving to Brighton. Sure he felt a little like a school boy skipping class but that only added to appeal of the weekend at the beach alone with her.

"And then you run away to Brighton and bring me with you?" She asked with a laugh, she had not taken him for the type of person who did things like this. Though she had to admit she did like this side of him.

"Are you complaining?" he asked raising his eyebrow at her.

"No but I feel like a foregone conclusion, how did you know I hadn't made other plans?" He had come home Friday evening and told her to pack a bag they were going out of town. He wouldn't tell her where they were going until she flat out refused to go anywhere with him till he informed her of their destination.

She initially thought he was trying to take her with him to his seminar and she had no interest or intention of going. But he promised her he had found a way out of it and it was a holiday just for the two of them. Once she knew exactly what they were up to she eagerly began packing and was done in record time. Due to work and his children's schedules they had never managed to go away together even just for the weekend. She was so thrilled and excited with the idea she hadn't even bothered to ask him how he got out of the seminar until now.

"Because you have been complaining all week that we didn't have the weekend together." He reminded her pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I still could have made other plans." She informed him in a petulant tone.

"Then you would have been telling me what you were going to do while I was gone instead of complaining." He said kissing her, she kissed him back but then pulled away.

"You're supposed to be reassuring me that I am not a foregone conclusion remember not proving it." She pouted a little bit she wanted to think she too could be spontaneous.

"All I'm proving is how well I know you because I pay attention to what you say." He countered quickly thinking of the best way to get out of the trap she had just laid down.

"I'm supposed to believe that right?" she asked skeptical of this claim.

"Yes you are completely and wholeheartedly suppose to because I do listen to what you say and you know it." He replied kissing her again. He really did try and listen to what she told him, but sometimes were easier than other.

"Okay" she replied letting the issue go because she knew he usually did try and pay attention to her unlike most men. "So did you enjoy your five minutes out in the field this past week?" she asked changing the subject and making fun of him.

"I spent more than five minutes waiting for you to show up." He replied giving her a look.

"And whose fault was that?" she asked him shooting him a knowing look of her own. The reason she had been late had everything to do with her car and he was directly responsible for that.

"Alright yes that was on me, I did promise to deal with your car and I didn't." He admitted that situation was kind of his fault.

"Yes so you had to wait" she told him with a definitive nod.

"Okay I deserved that" he agreed he couldn't very well argue with the truth.

"How were drinks with Boris, I hope you didn't choke on it while you were name dropping." She continued to tease while making a face at him.

"Yes I realize you hate it when I do that I'm sorry. I was just excited that I was invited." He told her slightly embarrassed for his earlier actions. Drinks had been nice but he wasn't given much opportunity to contribute to the conversation.

"But you could just say the mayor that is just the right amount of professionalism and pretentious BS."

"I will work on that, and it didn't go exactly as I expected but it was still nice to be invited. So what does a wall made of gold bricks look like?" He asked it was his turn to change the subject.

"Shiny. Actual Jacks face when we found all that gold was the more enjoyable sight to see. He was like a little kid on Christmas." She said with a big smile on her face.

"Have you ever thought of wearing a tiny band of gold on your finger?" He asked playing with her ring finger. He glanced at her sideways to gauge her reaction. They had never talked about getting married before but they were in a nice hotel away from everyone now seemed like the right time.

"Stop don't you dare do that." She cried pulling her hand away from him. "Don't go and ruin what has so far been a very lovely weekend, with talk like that." She warned him with a glare. Their relationship had been so good she couldn't understand why he would want to risk it all by talking about marriage. Marriage had a habit of ruining everything even the subject was enough to screw up a good relationship. She was very happy with him and their current situation she didn't see any reason to risk it on something so unnecessary.

"Sorry forget I said anything." He was a little taken aback by her reaction but not entirely surprised, Sandra was more than a little skittish when it came to relationship conversations like this one.

"I'll try and if I ever did have this conversations with you I would tell you that the tiny band should be silver not gold." She told him sitting up and folding her arms in front of her chest. That was all she was going to say on the matter. She wasn't even sure why she had said that much but something inside of her wanted him to know.

"I will file that away for another time." He promised her with a smile, one day he would find a way to get a ring on her finger he knew he would. She might be apprehensive now but given enough time he was sure he could convince her. It was something worth sticking around for because she was someone worth sticking around for.

"Don't you dare get any idea and ruin this. Now I think a nice walk on the beach sounds like a really good idea." She told him standing up and looking out the balcony window at the waves.

"But it's still cold outside" he whinged. "I thought we would just look at the water from in here." He replied coming up behind her and enveloping her with his arms.

"I'm not saying we go for a swim you silly man. Just put your coat on and let's go for a walk." She tried to move out of his arms but he held on to her tightly.

"I am warm and comfortable right here with you in my arms. There is a room service for food. I see no reason we need to leave the room at all for the entire weekend." He replied trying to convince her to let them stay inside. All he wanted to do was get her back in bed with him.

"Then why did we bother to come down here we could have done this at home?" She sighed it wasn't that cold it was early spring after all. She wanted to get out and do something with him, a romantic walk on the beach sounded perfect to her.

"The ocean is here and we can see it from our balcony, it's the perfect romantic weekend." He explained, he had been hoping that not only would they not have to leave the room but clothing would become optional as well.

"And I want to take a walk on the beach not just look at it from the door way. I am going for a walk and if you want to have any fun in this room again you will come with me to have fun down by the water first." She informed him, successfully moving out of his arms this time.

"Then I shall get my coat on." He said giving in with a smile. Even a walk on the beach in the windy March air was better than an ACPO seminar, he reminded himself as they left the room hand in hand. And maybe she was right it could be romantic and they could have some fun.

A/N Thanks for continuing to read and thanks for the reviews!


	15. The Last Laugh

The Last Laugh

"Hi, back from celebrating your victory over Hansen?" Strickland asked as she came in the front door around ten that night.

"Yes and it was marvelous," Sandra replied with a gleeful smile.

"I'm glad" he said giving her a kiss "How is Jack?"

"He is wonderful finally getting justice for Mary has made him ten years younger, I swear."

"Who would have thought Hansen's son would finally turn on him." He wondered out loud, they were all happy to finally have Hansen in custody, hopefully he would now spend the rest of his life in jail were he belonged.

"I know it has taken us a long time but we finally got the bastard. No lawyer is going to get him off not like they did the last time." She exclaimed triumphantly, he liked seeing her so happy and he was quite enjoying the moment.

"Ah yes after you crashed your car into Jacks, pity it never came back to you." He said frowning slightly he didn't like thinking of her in that hospital bed. He watched as her face fell and he regretted bringing it up.

"Yes well I don't expect it ever will. I'm going to get a shower." She replied quickly turning toward the stairs. His stomach dropped it was like a ton of bricks hit him.

"Sandra wait," he called grabbing her arm gently. He knew that look she tried to hide it from him but he recognized it, she was lying to him. After being together for so long he knew when she was lying to him and she knew when he was lying to her. He was just surprised at what she appeared to be lying about, he couldn't believe it.

"What is it?" she asked trying to remain calm but her heart was beating much faster than normal. It had been so easy to lie to him when the accident had happened, they weren't sleeping together, they weren't living together, they weren't in love. She actually hadn't given the whole incident much thought until this case brought them back to Hansen. She had hoped to avoid the topic and until right now they had. He had never asked her about the accident since it happened and she was alarmed when he did now. She had tried to hide her face when she told him her lie but she wasn't fast enough. After being together for a year and a half they knew each other's tricks and lies. He had picked up on it in a minute her only hope was that he would just let it go. She had never planned to tell him about her little crash it was over and done with water under the bridge there was no reason he needed to know now.

"You're lying to me" he repeated still shocked that she actually was lying.

"I'm what?" She cried overreacting slightly to cover her falsehood, she tried to meet his eyes but she couldn't. She had only recently discovered that as a result of their relationship she could no longer lie to him convincingly. He always knew and it made a few things at work harder. This was a secret she desperately didn't want him to find out. As she had done many times in the past she now used anger in an attempt to cover her lie and her fear.

"You're lying, I know that look, and you're lying." He said firmly, her anger didn't fool him, he was right and they both knew it. What he didn't understand was why she was still lying to him.

"I am not, what the hell are you on about?" she yelled pulling her arm out of his grasp.

"Do you remember what happened that night?" He asked her, he was almost too afraid to hear her answer, a hole had opened up in his stomach and it made him regret asking her. Yet he was a police man and that part of him just couldn't let the issue lie.

"No I don't" she growled and there it was again, her tell, she was lying once more.

"Stop it, stop it, stop lying." He told her more harshly than he meant.

"Robert don't do this, let's just go to bed" she begged him switching tactics she needed him to stop asking her questions, she needed him to drop the subject.

"My god you do remember. Why, why not tell me?" He asked in shock, he couldn't believe this was happening, he stepped back running a hand through his hair.

"I'm going to bed" she growled turning to walk away.

"No tell me, why are you lying? What happened that night?" he questioned her raising his voice.

"I can't tell you." She said softly refusing to look at him.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" He demanded, he didn't know what the hell happened that night but now he needed to know.

"I just can't" she cried looking down at her hands. She wished he would just stop asking and let it go.

"We don't keep secrets like this" he exclaimed. He has always assumed there had been no true secrets between them.

"This is different, very different" she told him finally looking him in the eye begging him to leave it alone.

"When did you remember?" she didn't answer "Was it before the trial?" she still said nothing. "My god Sandra did you lie under oath in court?" She wasn't even looking at him. "Christ that's perjury. When did you remember?" He growled at her, he wanted an answered from her.

"I never forgot what happened." She said softly looking away from him once more.

"What? Then why did you lie. You lied to me on several occasions, what really happened that night? Tell me." He yelled at her, he then began to pace, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, she had lied under oath. This was not the Sandra he knew.

"Robert please don't do this." She begged him again tears pooling in her eyes.

"Tell me" he growled.

"Jack went to kill Hansen he was going to hit him with his car." She finally told him as the tears slid down her cheeks, he was so upset already she had no idea what he would do now that he knew the truth.

"So you hit Jack's car with yours?" he asked, his voice was quiet but there was a seething anger burning side him.

"Yes" she answered him but they both knew the truth before she even said the words.

"My god Sandra that's attempted murder and you are an accessory after the fact what the hell were you thinking?" He yelled at her once more. He was furious; he didn't know how she could do something so reckless, so dangerous, and so stupid. He didn't even think her three pensioners would be that stupid, except clearly Jack was.

"I was trying to stop Jack" she sobbed.

"By risking your life? You, Brian, and Gerry all ended up in the hospital because of what you did. But they're complicit too. And you all lied under oath." He was in shock, what she had done was criminal and then to lie about it in court on top of everything.

"I know" she cried back at him, how could he think she didn't know exactly what she had done.

"Do you, you helped cover up an attempted murder risking your whole career and your freedom along with your life. If they hadn't checked you for a head injury that night I would be convinced you had to have had one to make such a stupid decision." He yelled, his anger had gotten the better of him.

"But this was Jack I couldn't just let him do it and I couldn't just let him go to jail." She tried to explain to him, he needed to understand why she had to do it, it was for Jack.

"A cover up, lying under oath, lying to me including the whole year and half we've been together, that is how you chose to handle it?" He was angry but he was also hurt she had been keeping this from him, she hadn't trusted him.

"I know I'm sorry but how could I tell you?" she asked.

"How can I trust you again here or at work?" he demanded.

"What" she cried, how could he think that? It was as if he had hit her, his words stung worse than his hand ever could. Her heart ached at the thought that he couldn't trust her.

"I can't trust you" he repeated coldly.

"I'm not the only one who has lied. You lied to the commissioner and went to the press about those squaddies." She shot back at him once she had collected her thoughts enough to speak.

"I didn't lie to you" he yelled.

"Would you have told me if I hadn't guessed?" she hissed.

"I don't know but my lie wasn't a crime."

"Your actions where, they can send you to jail for giving that information to the press." She snapped, this was some terrible dream and she wanted to wake up from this nightmare. The night was a good night it wasn't supposed to end like this.

"At least my actions didn't result in covering up an attempted murder. See the difference. And now I have to decide what to do." He barked there was an underlying threat in his words that made her blood run cold.

"What are you talking about?" she asked becoming very nervous.

"I don't know if I can just sit on this and do nothing." He was allowing his anger to control what he was saying but he was beyond caring or any rational thought at all.

"If this comes out now Hansen could get off and Gerry, Jack, Brian, and I would all go to jail." She informed him, it was her turn to be shocked, she couldn't believe he would do that to her.

"Yeah well you should have thought of that." He hissed heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked confused, worried and more than a little upset.

"For a walk" he yelled as he slammed the door.

"Shit, Shit, Shit." She paced her living room like a caged animal for several minutes before she grabbed her car keys and bolted out of the house.

She had no idea how she managed to drive over to his flat in one piece, but there she was banging frantically on Gerry's door.

"Oi what the bloody hell!" he yelled swinging the door open to find a completely distraught and disheveled Sandra with tears streaming down her face.

"Sandra what the hell happened?" he asked concerned, he had never seen her like this. She was more than happy when he had last seen her an hour ago and he wondered what had happened in the span of an hour to turn her into the mess he saw in front of him.

"It's over Gerry" she cried launching herself into his arms.

"What is" he asked helping her inside. The first thought in his brain was that she was talking about her relationship with Strickland. He was pretty sure he was the only person who could upset her this much.

"Everything" she sobbed. Over the next fifteen minutes she managed to get the whole story out as she sat on his sofa.

"That bastard" he said, and it was his turn to pace. "What do you thing he will do?" he asked running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know" she sobbed; she still couldn't even believe Strickland had threatened her like that.

"You think he would honestly turn you in, his own girlfriend?" he asked rubbing his face.

"You didn't see the look in his eyes, the hurt and anger."

"Right this is Strickland we're talking about. And once he's made up his mind…" he couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't believe this was happening now, they had just got Hansen.

This was enough to cause her to deteriorate into hysterics, she didn't know what was the worst part of all this. Her relationship was likely over, her career was surely finished, she would now be the reason Jack didn't get justice letting him down completely. She and her team would be going to jail for a very long time, and it was the man she loved that was doing all of this to her. She ended up lying on Gerry's sofa crying her heart out into one of his throw pillows.

Gerry had never seen her like this usually she would yell and curse, call them names and give them a right bollocking. But this crying, he had no idea what to about it, so he just sat there with his head in his hands. He was thinking of calling Jack, maybe he could find a way out of this. Maybe they could find a way to blackmail Strickland into keeping quite. He hated to bother the man hours after he got the justice he sorely needed, but if this was going to become something he needed to know. Gerry was just about to give in and make the call when his doorbell rang.

"Bloody hell what is this, a party?' He yelled flinging the door open to reveal the man of the hour, Strickland himself.

"Where is she?" he asked panicking as he entered the flat even though he hadn't been invited in.

'Who?" Gerry growled.

"Sandra who else?" He was hoping she had come here if not he would have to try Jack's place and that was the last place he wanted to be tonight.

Without another word Gerry hit Strickland as hard as he could square in the jaw. The younger man was caught off guard and went stumbling to the ground.

"Gerry what the hell?" he cried clutching his face.

"You can add it to my list of crimes." He spat at the younger man, he wanted to do a lot more than simply hit him.

"What?" Strickland asked he had no idea what Gerry was on about.

"I don't care what you do to me or Brian or even Jack but you do not threaten her. Not Sandra do you hear me. I will not let you send her to jail and it will be our word against yours and what will the jury think when they find out you had been having a sexual relationship with one of the officers under you command." Gerry half yelled, all the thoughts he had been formulating in his brain over the past ten minutes just came flying out of his mouth.

"What no… wait had?" panic was rising in him. Gerry said 'had a sexual relationship' he couldn't bear the thought that he had screwed things up so badly. He had been angry he hadn't meant any of it, he needed her to know that.

"Yes had" Gerry growled at him, he may have been over stating things she hadn't actually said they were breaking up but he wasn't about to give the man the benefit not after what he had said to her.

"Please let me talk to her please." He begged he knew he had made a royal mess of things but he needed to at least try and fix his colossal mistake.

"Why should I, she is a bloody mess now because of you. Why would she want to talk to you? You're gonna try to send us all to jail." Gerry shouted at him getting right up in his face.

"No, no I'm not, I'm not going to do anything I'm not going to tell anyone I promise I never was, I am going to forget it ever happened." He promised, he couldn't do that to them especially not Sandra.

"You are?" Gerry asked not ready to believe the man in front of him.

"Yes I would never do that to her," he professed.

"Well she sure didn't feel that way."

"I said some really stupid stuff I didn't mean any of it. Haven't you ever done that?'

"Three ex-wives to prove it and I still say things I shouldn't." Gerry admitted, but he still continued to glare at him.

"Then you should understand, I was upset that she kept this from me, I was hurt, I threaten to tell but I would never actually tell anyone. Christ I just ended up proving all her fears true. Please you have to let me see her." He begged the older man, he was desperate, he had to see Sandra so he could at least let her know that he didn't mean it.

"Fine she is up on the sofa, she's a mess by the way and I hope she hits you." Gerry told him resisting the urge to hit him again himself.

Strickland didn't care what she did as long as he got to talk to her. He knew five minutes after he'd left that he had been stupid and so in the wrong. He raced back but she was already gone. He tried calling her but she hadn't taken her mobile. It took him a little while to realize that there was only one place she would go to with something like this- Gerry's.

"Sandra?" he called out and he walked toward Gerry's living room. "Oh Sandra no I'm so so sorry" he moaned when he saw he curled around the throw pillow crying into it on the sofa. She looked up at him in shock.

"What are you doing here?" She managed to get out between tears.

"I came back to the house but you were gone. I came to say I'm sorry I didn't mean anything I said. I would never do anything to hurt you and the guys like that never." He apologized profusely, he needed her to believe him.

"You said you didn't trust me, could never trust me again," she cried.

"There is no one I trust more than you at home at work. If something happened I would trust you with my children's lives." He told her kneeling down next to the sofa.

"You threatened to let Hansen go free and send us all to jail." She sobbed the thought of doing that to Jack made her cry harder.

"I didn't mean it, I was mad that you didn't tell me I would never do that, never. I didn't mean it. I want to pretend the night never happened, as far as I am concerned you don't remember what happened and it was all just an accident. Please I am sorry."

"And if I can't forgive you, what will you do? Go through with your threats?" she cried.

"What no how could you..." He knew why she would think that, he did just threaten everything that was important to her. "Christ what have I done. I messed thing up completely," He moaned moving so his back was against the sofa. He hung his head as Sandra continued to sob on the couch behind him "I am so sorry." He just sat there head in his hands listening to her cry. It broke his heart to hear her sob and it felt worse knowing that he was the cause of it all.

"I can hit him again if you want?" Gerry told her. He had been watching them from the door way.

"Yes please hit me again I deserve it, please Gerry I can't possibly feel any worse than I do right now." He said coming to stand in front of the older man.

"You sure know how to ruin a good night, tonight was a celebration but no you get your hands on it and I get her sobbing at me front door. I really should beat your brains in, and if Jack where here you wouldn't have any teeth left." Gerry said gruffly glaring at the man.

"Then just do it" Strickland said standing in front of him arms wide open inviting the older man to hit him.

"No because I know she loves you she wouldn't be that big of a mess is she didn't." He hissed quietly to the man so Sandra didn't hear him.

"Sandra talk to me please." He begged her walking back toward the sofa, if Gerry wasn't going to hit him than all he had left was talking to her.

"I don't know if I can right now." She replied just the thought of him hurt too much at that moment.

"I know I'm so sorry how about this, I will go home and when you are ready to talk to me we will talk." He suggested he could tell his presence wasn't helping, he hadn't lost all of his common sense.

"Okay" she moaned in agreement unsure of what else to do.

"Right good… ah… goodnight then I guess. Thank you Gerry I really am sorry." He said, as he walked away he looked back at her. She was one of the most important things in his life and he was walking away from her. It felt like it was for good and he could barely take it but there wasn't anything else to do, he had screwed up. "Gerry" he said quietly "will you make sure she is okay?"

"Yeah of course I will what do you think I've been doing all night, hell for the last however many years. Don't worry about her tonight I will take care of her but come tomorrow you may have a lot of groveling to do when she finally decided to talk to you." Gerry told hold him as he walked the other man to the door.

"I know, if she decides to talk to me," he said sounding defeated.

"She'll come round, you better make it up to her though" Gerry warned him.

"If she forgives me I will spend forever trying to make it up to her" he promised Gerry.

"You better get going, get some sleep" Gerry almost felt bad for the man, he had been where he was right now, he had said and done stupid stuff but never quite like this. He was still mad at him for what he had said to Sandra though.

"Yeah as if that is going to happen, night Gerry thank you for everything you have done and will do for her." He replied dejectedly, he didn't think he could sleep ever again if it turned out he had messed everything up. Over a year ago she had told him she would give this relationship one chance and he felt like he was now out of chances and she would never accept him back.

"Night sir" the older man said being overly formal.

Gerry walked back into the living room and watch as Sandra continued to cry. After several minutes he knew he needed to do something, this wasn't the way either of them wanted to spend the night.

"Sandra you know that I am here for you in any way you need me to be but how long are you going to keep crying it's not good for you?" he asked her.

"I can't stop it hurts to much" she sobbed, this relationship had meant more to her than any other she had and she couldn't endure the thought of it ending but what he said, what she thought he would do, hurt her.

"I know cause you love the guy and he was a total arse to you tonight but you still love him" He told her, completing her thought. She nodded her head in agreement. "Well do you love him enough to forgive him?" he asked.

"I don't know?"

"Can you live without him?"

"Maybe," she said but it felt like a lie.

"Do you want to?"

"No" she sobbed. It was true she didn't want to live without him.

"Then you need to figure out how to forgive him. He would do anything to get you to forgive him, trust me I know. I don't think he will make this mistake again. And this is me saying this I am not exactly his biggest fan" He informed her, as much as he might dislike the guy he knew how much Sandra liked him. He also knew they were happy together and Strickland made her happy. Deep down he knew what she needed to do, she would have to forgive him.

"But once is enough" she answered softly.

"Deep down do you honestly thing he would have done any of that stuff he said?" he asked her playing devil's advocate.

"No" she admitted.

"Then calm down and look at what's really going on, you two had a row a very nasty one where he said a whole bunch of stuff he shouldn't have and didn't mean. Which is usually what happens in these cases, trust me I've had a lot of experience." He began to explain to her, when it came to fights and arguments in relationships he qualified as an expert.

"I'm sure you have Gerry." Normally she would have smiled at him but she couldn't even bring herself to do it.

"Now you know he didn't mean it he probably only said it to hurt you in fact he said as much. That is why I always said the stupid things I did. But what you have to decide is can you forgive him for hurting you."

"I don't know?"

"Stop listening to that tiny mind of yours and listen to your heart." He advised her wisely, she had a habit of ignoring her heart and following her brain.

"It hurts, it hurts that he said those things but also hurts at the thought of losing him" she admitted to him.

"Well what does that tell you?"

"I don't know?"

"Yes you do, what do you want?"

"I don't know" she repeated.

"Sandra" he said, wondering why she had to be so stubborn all the time.

"Him I want him but I'm so mad at him" she cried as more tears slid down her face.

"He is going to make you mad a lot if you stick with him but can you forgive him?"

"I think so." She finally admitted.

"Good, now why don't you let me take you home? Get some sleep. I'm sure once you get some rest you will feel better about this whole thing. And sleeping in your own bed will be infinitely better than sleeping on my sofa."

"I guess you're right." She agreed finally sitting up and wiping away her tears.

"Come here" he said helping her up and pulling her into a hug. "You want me to beat the crap out of him? I can" he told her playfully.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, you can be a really good friend" she told him sweetly. She had a tendency to tease him and give him a hard time but he really was a good guy when he wanted to be.

"Anytime" he promised rubbing her back a little she was shaking and he could tell she was still more than a little upset.

"Don't tell the others about this please I don't want to ruin Jack's celebration or upset Brian." She begged him pulling away.

"Don't worry my lips are sealed. Let's get you home." He said helping her out to his car. The ride back to her place was quiet. He could see her wipe away a few tears every once in a while. Gerry wished he could say something more to make her feel better but this was something she had to work out with Strickland. He didn't exactly like the man but he did make her smile more and he wanted Sandra to be happy. Pulling into her drive he turned the car off.

"You want me to walk you up?" He offered worrying she might not be up to the short walk on her own.

"No I'm okay," she promised flashing him a weak smile

"Don't worry about work tomorrow. I'll tell Jack and Brian you're not feeling well. You go get some sleep and then maybe talk to him. You know you can give me a ring anytime if you need anything" he told her. Gerry had to agree that Jack and Brian did not need to know about the event of the night, it would only cause problems and upset them as well. And if she showed up to work with red eyes and tear stained cheeks they would want to know what happened.

"Thank you Gerry for everything." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Go on you really do need some sleep" he said with a laugh. If she was giving him a kiss on the cheek she really was out of it.

"Bye" she replied getting out of the car. She slowly made her way to her front door unlocking it and pushing it open. The idea of an empty house didn't help her mood but the thought of a soft bed did. She was exhausted; it had been nearly three hours since she had first returned home that night. Maybe she would take a nice hot bath first before she tried to sleep, she tried to focus on the bath and sleep as she walked into the kitchen to get some water. All her crying had made her quite thirsty. Before she could get anywhere near the sink she heard a nose, she turned around and saw Strickland sitting on her couch.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she exclaimed nearly dropping her glass. "I thought you were going home, to your place?"

"I realized this is home, this is where I feel at home" he replied softly hanging his head, within his statement was an unspoken plea to her, he was begging her not to send him back to his place. He couldn't stomach the thought of going back to his flat all cold and alone.

"That wasn't really the plan" she sighed. She was still recovering from the shock and while the idea of an empty house had not appealed to her, she was not prepared to deal with him so soon. "Where is your car?" she asked suddenly remember the empty drive when Gerry dropped her home. Had she seen his car she might have had some warning of his presence.

"It's at the pub down the road where I stopped to have a pint, I walked back." He admitted he could barely look at her; he was so ashamed of the words he had spoken earlier.

"Robert-" she started but he quickly cut her off.

"No wait let me say something first" he asked finally looking up at her. "I am so sorry I don't know why I said any of those things. I didn't mean any of it, even when it was coming out of my mouth I didn't know why I was saying it. I would never do anything I said, I can't believe I even though it. I would never hurt you like that. I am so sorry I hurt you I never want to hurt you, not now not ever again." He was rambling slightly as he stood up and walked closer to her, he tried to put his hand on her arm but she pulled away from him folding her arms in front of her.

"But you did and now I'm afraid knowing you can hurt me like that" she replied defensively.

"I would never do or say any of that stuff ever again I promise" he insisted.

"But you can hurt me; you know how to hurt me like no one else can. That is really scary." As she said the words fresh tears sprung to her eyes. She hated how vulnerable she felt, it was not a position she was used to, in fact it was one she had gone out of her way to avoid most of her life.

"I know and all I can say is I am sorry. My divorce taught me that it's always the people we love the most who can hurt us the worst and because of it I learned how to be very good at hurting people" He hated himself for hurting her like this.

"But how do I know you won't do it again?" she asked as the tears slid down her cheeks.

"I don't think you can" he answered hanging his head once more. "God I wish Gerry had just beat the life out of me. I would feel better than I do now. I deserved it for doing this to you" he moaned.

"Gerry is still offering to do so" she informed him wiping away the tears.

"Well then I should call him." He said picking up his phone.

"Maybe later" she replied finally walking over to him. "Looks like he got a good hit in" she said touching his bruised face, he winced at her touch but he didn't pull away.

She had spent the last few hours trying to figure out what to do, the words he said had hurt her more than she even wanted to admit. But Gerry was right, it had been a rather nasty fight yet it was still just a fight. And deep down she knew there was only one choice, she couldn't walk away from him, from the life they has been building together. She didn't want to therefore the only choice was to find a way to forgive him.

"Yes he did and I'd let him do it again. I am so sorry." His words pulled her out of her thoughts.

"You threatened to send me to jail along with my whole team" she reminded him softly still touching his face.

"I did and I have never been so sorry, I would never do that." He professed his regret and his apologies once more hoping she would forgive him and not throw him out.

"Doesn't that make you complicit in our crime?" she asked giving him just the hint of a smile.

"I suppose so" he answered slightly surprise by the turn in her comments but his heart rose a little when he saw the words play off her lips. "I would do anything for you, cover anything up for you. I would even kill for you." He had meant what he just told her, he would do anything for her. In the back of his mind he realized why relationships like theirs were highly discouraged, but they were too far gone to stop now.

"That seems a bit grim" she replied even more playfully this time.

"And why would I ever want to send you to jail?" he asked starting to relax just slightly.

"You're a police officer?" she responded confused.

"But if I sent you to jail I would just have to break you out and then we would have to go on the run. Though going on the run with you does sound kind of sexy."

"You would break me out of jail?" she was surprised by his seriousness he always seemed the straight laced officer.

"Of course I would I can't live without you." He professed sincerely for he truly felt that way with all his heart.

"Really?" she asked softly.

"I mean it with every breath in my body. I love you and everything I am is yours. I would do anything for you." He said taking her in his arms and giving her a tentative kiss which much to his relief she returned.

"Did you actually mean it when you said you would trust me with your children if something were to happen to you?" she asked pulling away a little so she could see his eyes.

"Yes I did" he replied holding her gaze.

"That's just ridiculous I don't honestly know the first thing about actually taking care of children." She informed him shocked once more.

"This past Halloween proved otherwise I will point out. But let me tell you a secret when it comes to kids. If you can't be there to raise them you find a good, truly good, kind person to take care of them and then let that person follow her instincts." He explained smiling at her.

"Even if that person is covering up an attempted murder?" she asked tentatively, still worried about what he thought.

"Yes, if that person risked their life to stop a good man from murdering a very bad man and destroying both their lives. I love you." He whispered that last part in her ear giving her another soft kiss before pulling back to look her in the eye once more. "Look I know I can't promise I won't hurt you again cause I'm a stupid fool who is really good at doing stuff like that. But I need you to know it was never and will never be my intention to hurt you, all I want to do is love and protect you. And today I failed at that absolutely and completely, can you please find a way to forgive me?" he begged her once more.

"Well I guess since you did promise to break me out of jail I don't have much choice. Especially since we are now conspirators together in a crime" she answered giving him a smile.

"True, you know when I fantasize about women criminal masterminds I invasion them in a rather sexy black cat suit you don't happen to have one of those lying around?"

"Don't push it" she warned, but her tone was still playful.

"Sorry" he said hoping her hadn't pushed her too far.

"What do you say we go up to bed? I don't know about you but I'm exhausted and I now have the day off tomorrow. I might suggest you do the same unless you want to explain that bruise to a bunch of people." She asked him making up her mind to forgive him and try to move past the whole incident. She loved him and that was the important thing.

"I will, but only if you let me find a way to make it up to you for ruining the night."

"Oh I'm sure you can find some way to make it up to me, and it had better be one hell of a date night." She said shooting him a very mischievous grin. "Though you will have to wait till Christmas for the cat suit" she told him playfully as she walking past him and headed upstairs."

"God Sandra Pullman you really are the perfect woman." He said with a laugh. "I should get you to marry me now before I mess this up for good." He said quietly to himself before he followed her up stairs.

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The next morning found Sandra and Strickland IN BED curled around each other both blissfully asleep. At the same time Gerry walked into the UCOS office to find Jack and Brian already sitting at their desks.

"You're late and you look like crap." Jack commented only just looking up from his paper.

"Thanks for that, long night; Sandra won't be in today." He informed them trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"That makes both her and Strickland out wonder what they got up to last night?" Jack said wagging his eyebrows as Brian looked at him confused.

"They had a row last night if you must know and she ended up at my house in tears." Gerry answered cutting off Jacks inappropriate thoughts.

"What?" Brian asked surprised by his whole statement.

"What the hell did he do to her?" Jack asked concerned.

"I don't know exactly, crying women are not that easy to understand." He replied trying to play the whole thing off.

"You would know" Brian added as he and Jack exchanged a knowing look.

"Yeah well he was a tosser and said a bunch of stupid stuff which he immediately regretted as he then showed up at my place as well pleading with her to forgive him." Gerry replied gruffly, he made sure to keep the details very vague hoping they would just let the whole thing go.

"What happened?" Jack pushed for more information.

"You mean after I hit him?" Gerry told them just because he couldn't resist sharing that part at least and he couldn't help the grin on his face as he said it. There was no way he wasn't going to share that little bit of information with them it was just too good.

"Nice one Gerry" Brian laughed.

"Yes after that?" Jack continued to inquire much to Gerry's dismay; he should have known the man would want details.

"Well he said he was sorry about a dozen times but she wasn't really ready to hear it so he agreed to go home and let her think it over. And then after a little bit I drove her home to get a good night's sleep if possible and to think things through. I'm sure if they haven't made up already they will soon." He told them he honestly did hope they would be making up soon. He had never seen Sandra so distraught before and it unnerved him a little.

"How do you know?" Jacked questioned him further.

"Because I can tell they both really do love each other" Gerry told them with a great deal of certainty.

"Ah how did he take you hitting him? How did she?" Brian asked much more interested in that part.

"Oh he knew he was in the wrong asked me to beat the LIFE out of him that's how bad he felt. She didn't see it happened but she saw the after effect and didn't say anything one way or another about it, she was quite upset never seen her that upset. That's how I know she really does love the prat." Gerry explained in a tone that told them he was done talking about it.

"Oh well glad that's all done with, I have been waiting for them to have a big fight for a while now." Jack sighed as he picked his paper back up.

"Best not to mention this to her when she comes back on Monday. She told me not to say anything and it will only embarrass her." Gerry warned the two of them ignoring Jacks comment.

"Yeah of course" Brian agreed immediately and Jack nodded in agreement. They both knew better than to ask Sandra about things like this. She would only yell at them or tell them details they didn't want to hear.

"Well what do you say we find ourselves a new case?" Jack said still on cloud nine from the previous day.

A/N Thanks for reading and the reviews I hope it was a good chapter.


	16. Blood is Thicker than Water

Bloods Thicker than Water

"I like you lying in the sun on my boat" he told her. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and Strickland had insisted on taking Sandra out for a ride on his boat. This was the first time he had been able to take her out, every time they had tried to something always seemed to come up.

"I don't like it when you and Jack conspire." She replied fixing a glare on him, being on his boat had caused her to think back over the case they had just finished.

"Jealous" he asked playfully.

"No and please don't tell me that this whole case was just so you could get to be the next president of the yacht club. Tell me that's not why you got upset with me in your office yesterday, if it was so help me I will push you off this boat into the water." She told him sternly sitting up to get a better look at him.

"It may have been a tiny part about that but mostly I saw the merits of Jack's argument." He replied trying to find his way out of the fight she was about to start with him.

"You honestly thing I am going to believe that?" she asked fixing him with another look.

"I was hoping you would it is still a little too cold to go swimming."

"Don't do it again. Oh and Lawrence Fisher whom you were worried about taking the presidency away from you, calls you Bob." She huffed at him still not thrilled with what he had done but she let it go.

"Yeah I know drives me crazy" he moaned, he really disliked that man; it was why he had wanted to beat him out of the position so badly. Sandra was right; he had approved Jack's interest in the case hoping it would get Fisher out of the way. Thought he was not about to admit that to her.

"How long are we planning on being out here?" She asked him looking out at the water as she changed the subject.

"You aren't enjoying the water and the sun?" he questioned her a bit concerned, he was really hoping she would have fun being out on the water. He wanted this to be something they could do together a way to relax and unwind.

"No I am I just prefer to be on dry land. And I'm hungry" she whinged.

"What about the chocolate covered strawberries I brought for us to snack on?" He asked confused he thought they would make a wonderful mid afternoon snack.

"They were a delicious snack but I need a real meal." She told him, they had only had an early light lunch and it was almost quarter to three.

"Another half an hour?" he said more as a question than a statement.

"Okay" she agreed with a laugh.

"If you want I could teach you how to sail her." He offered with a hopeful smile.

"You looking for me to turn all those neatly organized ropes into a gorgon's knot?" she couldn't help but laugh at the idea.

"No not really" he admitted.

"Then I will let you continue to drive this thing."

"Sail, you sail a boat or ship Sandra you drive a car." He informed her with a sigh he thought she knew enough about boats to get that right.

"Really" she said sarcastically, making it clear she was just teasing him.

"Why don't you lie back down and enjoy the sun." He laughed as he began to turn the boat around.

"Now that is an idea I can get behind." She didn't mind boats really she was just afraid she was going to fall into the water and get left behind or something stupid like that. She lay back down and closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun. It was still spring and he was right the water would be cold if either of them fell in, but the sun was nice and warm and soon she found herself falling asleep.

When she woke up she looked around to see that they were still bobbing along the Thames and she had no idea how long she had been asleep. She looked around trying to find Strickland.

"Hello there" he said seeing she was awake. She turned her head at the sound of his voice and looked over at him. "I hope you don't mind I didn't want to wake you so I kept on sailing." He said trying to explain.

"That's fine" she assured him staring up at the vibrant blue sky. Her head had that post nap fuzziness and it was starting to hurt. After a few minutes she sat up and began watching the water and the shoreline. It was peaceful on the water, at times it didn't even look like they were moving she thought as she watched the water. On the other hand the boat itself was rocking around more than she would have expected.

Soon her head was pounding and her stomach was not happy at all. On instinct she put her head down between her knees and tried to focus on breathing. Yet after a few minutes it became clear this was only making it worse, she sat up once more looking around trying to determine where they were. She wanted desperately to be back on dry land but the yacht club was nowhere in sight.

"How much longer are we going to be out here?" she asked trying not to sound annoyed.

"I promise a half an hour at the most to get back to the club. Then I will feed you whatever you want." The thought of food turned her stomach even more. "You okay?" He asked concerned "you look a little pale." He had seen her put her head between her legs but he thought she was just trying to wake up.

"Yeah I'm fine," she said but immediately her stomach disagreed. "No actually I think I'm going to throw up."

"What? You didn't say anything about getting sea sick." He cried surprised at what she had just said. She shot him a death glare before her stomach violently turned on her and she had no choice but to throw her head over the side of the boat. He was stunned for a moment shocked at what was happening before him. He quickly snapped out of his daze and was by her side in a second he held her hair back as she threw up once more.

When her stomach was finally done torturing her she sat back down, her breathing was heavy and she felt like all her energy had been drained.

"Here drink this" he said crouching in front of her and handing her a bottle of water. "Slowly or you will throw up again," he warned her as he gently rushed her back.

She was quite thirsty but she managed to control her desire and took only small sips of the water trying to calm her stomach.

"Why didn't you tell me you got sea sick?" he asked softly, brushing a few stray hairs off her face.

"I don't get sea sick" she argued still breathing heavily.

"I don't mean to argue but I think you do."

"I have been on loads of boats and never got sick. I have taken the ferry to and from France many times." She continued to protest, she had never been sick like this before.

"Have you been on a smaller boat like this before?" He asked her calmly.

"I…ah…No I guess not" she admitted.

"That's probably it you can feel more of the motion on these. Also if you haven't been on a boat for a while people can change overtime or-"

"Robert can you please take me home?" She begged sounding exhausted.

"Yes of course sorry it is going to take at least fifteen minutes I can't go any faster. Do you think you could go back to sleep?" he asked her hopefully.

"Are you kidding me?" she scoffed

"Okay, sorry, try focusing on the horizon it is all I got right now the motion sickness pills are back at my place." He said trying to help her but he didn't have much to work with. He mentally kicked himself for not bringing the pills with him just as a precaution.

"Right" she nodded doing as he suggested even though all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and never move again.

The moment Strickland had them docked she was off the boat and on the dock. It didn't help that much as the dock seemed to be bouncing around just as much as the boat was.

"I'll be in the car" she cried walking away.

"Sandra wait" he called running after her.

"What?" she growled turning and becoming annoyed.

"You need the keys" he said putting them in her hand.

"Oh right thank you" she replied slightly embarrassed for not realizing she had left without them.

"I'll finish up as quickly as I can." He promised kissing her forehead. He felt terrible for the way the afternoon turned out. He watched to make sure she made it off the docks safely before turning back around.

Sandra headed to the car park as he headed back to the Last Minnet. She wanted desperately to curl up in a ball in the back seat of the car and die, but she resisted the urge and sat in the passenger's seat tilting it back all the way so she could lie down as much as possible.

It took him nearly twenty minutes to secure everything on the boat and locked it up. He was moving too fast and nearly fell into the water at that point he decided to slow down taking more time. When he finally got to the car he found her curled up on her seat facing away from the window. He put away their stuff in the boot as quietly as he could and then slid into the drives seat. He tilted back his seat to match hers so he could get a better look at her.

Her eyes where closed but he had a feeling she wasn't asleep. He once again brushed some hair away from her face and her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Hi" he said caressing her face "how do you feel."

"Like I threw up over the side of your boat" she told him dryly.

"I'm sorry" he apologized.

"No I'm sorry I ruined our day" she replied trying not to cry.

"You didn't ruin anything we just need to get you home so you can feel better. I am worried about the car making you worse. Do you want to lie here a little longer to see if you feel better?"

"No I just want to go home," she begged him.

"Right, home we go" he agreed returning his seat to its former position and turning the car on.

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A few hours later she lay on the sofa in her favorite track suit, her head was resting on a pillow which rested on his lap. He was gently running his fingers through her hair in an attempt to comfort and sooth her. His attempts were a success as she had been dozing on and off for the last hour. When they got home she had managed to have some crackers and Sprite to calm her stomach. A shower and a change of clothes made her feel better as well.

"Are you hungry?" he asked looking down to see her eyes where open.

"Actually I am" she admitted looking up at him, she was happier now that her stomach had finally calmed down.

"Soup and a sandwich?" he offered trying to come up with something that wouldn't bother her too much.

"That sounds great" she replied softly smiling at him.

"Good you stay here while I make dinner." He said moving to get up.

"Wait Robert before you do that I just want to say I am sorry for messing up our afternoon, I know you were really looking forward to it and I made a right mess of it." From the moment she practically ran off his boat she had felt bad about what happened. He loved the Last Minnet and she had ruined their trip.

"Sandra you did nothing wrong" he reassured her stroking her hair. "All that happened is you got sick, that is not your fault. I had been looking forward to spending the day with you and sure I wanted you to enjoy an afternoon on the boat but I love you a lot more than I do my boat. I know I have been workup this week about the club and the presidency, for which I am sorry about. But that does not mean I care more about any of that. You are the most important thing to me. The only thing that upset me today is that you got sick and had a terrible time." He told her, there was no way he could care more about a silly boat than her.

"Really?" she asked not quite believing him.

"Of course, do you really think I would feel otherwise?" he was a bit surprised.

"I have heard about men and their boats and the after this week…"

"I guess I could see that especially after this case you just finished. But I need you to know no object or hobby will ever be more important than you. Don't worry about the boat or anything else. I only care about you and making sure you are feeling better." He told her firmly with a reassuring smile.

"I love you" she said sitting up enough so she could kiss him.

"I love you too, now soup and sandwich?" he confirmed.

"Sounds great" she smiled as he headed towards the kitchen.

A/N As always thanks for reading and thanks for the review.


	17. Meat is Murder

Meat is Murder

Over the last two years there had been several occasions when Robert Strickland found himself hating the fact that he was Sandra's boss. Usually it was when he had to reprimand her and her team, or when he told them what they could or couldn't do. The end result of those times had always been a fight at home or worse the silent treatment from the woman he loved. Yet today he would have given anything to not be her boss. He would have rather done anything else than tell her that she had a brother. A half-brother to be exact and they both knew the implications; her father had a huge secret. He knew he was destroying her world even further and he was helpless to do anything about it. He felt responsible for hurting her because he was the messenger come to further tarnish the memory of her father.

"I think I need to go home" she told him once they were done talking about the blood at the crime scene and how it was a partial match to her own. She didn't want talk about it with him and she couldn't be around the guys at that moment. "I need to be alone for a while" she told him.

"I understand, do you want me to stay at my place tonight?" he asked willing to do whatever she needed.

"No I...actually yes do you mind I think I need some space to deal with this on my own."

"Yes of course whatever you want I am here for you in whatever way you need me to be." He assured her, he knew how hard this was for her he just wished there was someway he could fix everything.

"I promise once this case is over then we'll talk. I just need to be alone right now I'm sorry" she told him repeating her need for solitude as she rushed out of this office before he could even respond. He hated going home to his place alone it always felt empty without his children around. Yet he was willing to follow her wishes, he knew the next few day were going to be hard for her.

He wanted to help her, he wanted to fix the problem he felt partially responsible for, but he understood her and he knew how she dealt with things. That understanding lasted for about three hours until it came time for him to go home as well. He usually listened, respected her wishes when she needed space, but today he felt was the right time to ignore her request. The more he thought about it the more he knew that last thing she truly needed was to be alone. That's how he found himself banging on her front door, she knew it was him; she just wouldn't let him in.

"Sandra, I'm not going anywhere till you let me in, I will spend the whole night out here." He yelled through the door.

"Fine" she growled flinging the door open glass of wine in hand. "I thought you were going to your place I told you I want to be alone, I don't want to talk right now."

"Can I come in please?" he begged, her only answer was to move out of his way. He entered closing the door behind him and followed her into the kitchen.

"Would you like some?" she offered pointing to the wine.

"No thanks how much have you had?" he asked concerned that she was going to try and drown herself with wine. It would not have been the first time a revelation about her father caused her to drink heavily.

"This is only my second glass. Spent an hour just staring at the first one hoping it would give me the answers I wanted. When it didn't I decided to drink it." She told him starting at the wine once more and not him. "This one is just as silent as the first." She didn't want him here she wanted to be alone she wanted to cry and scream in peace.

"Why don't you put it down and come sit on the sofa with me?" he suggested indicating the piece of furniture behind him.

"I don't want to talk" she repeated, but even as she protested she did exactly as he asked.

"I don't want to talk about this case or about what the blood and DNA means. I don't give a damn about that right now; I want to know how you are doing. You, I want to know how you are feeling." He told her as they sat down; he pulled her into his arms. She was stiff for a moment but then she relaxed into his touch.

"I don't know if either of us is ready to go down that rabbit hole." She replied snuggling deeper into his arms seeking his comfort.

"I don't care if we're ready or not, I care about you. How are you feeling?" he asked again.

"How do you think I'm feeling, I'm pissed. I'm so tired of being let down by him. How many times can you be disappointed by the same man? A man who has been dead for thirty years? I spent so much time looking up to him, my mother said I had him on a pedestal. Of course he came falling down; she lied to me about how he died for over thirty years. I had no idea he killed himself until you made that comment and I started digging around. Then I find out both my mother and Jack had been lying to me all those years. I foolishly dug a little deeper and I find out my dad was in love with a prostitute and he killed the pimp who killed her." Once she started all her thoughts and feelings came spilling out.

"When did you find this out?" He asked this was the first he was hearing some of this. He had no idea she knew anything specific about an affair and he knew nothing about the death of a pimp.

"Back when McAdam said all that stuff" she told him softly. She now felt a little guilty keeping the information from him.

"You never told me?" he couldn't understand why she didn't tell him when she found out all this over a year ago.

"I didn't want to, I wanted to just forget about it, I tried to pretend it didn't happened but it just won't go away. His mistakes just keep coming back to haunt me, why won't it go away?" She cried. She stood up and began to pace in front of him. "And now there is more and it's worse he had a son, a son he never told us about."

"It's not really something a man just tells his wife and daughter about." He responded, he didn't know why but he felt the need to explain why her father acted the way he did for her benefit. Except he didn't really know why Gordon Pullman would have an affair with a Prostitute, father a son and then kill a pimp all before killing himself.

"He killed himself and he didn't even bother to leave anything behind about this son behind." She exclaimed she couldn't believe her father would do something like this.

"Sandra" he began trying to calm her a little but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

"Why?" she yelled.

"Why didn't he say something?" he asked confused.

"No why weren't we enough why wasn't I enough, I thought he loved me. Why wasn't I enough why did he go to her and have another kid? Why?" she continued to yell and pace the living room.

"Sandra come here, please" he asked standing up and pulling her to him, she put up a halfhearted attempt to resist but she was soon crying in his arms. "He loved you." He reassured her, he didn't know much about the man for sure but he did know that he loved his daughter.

"He was my life but I wasn't enough he had another family." She sobbed into his chest.

"You know it had nothing to do with you. Maybe he didn't know about his son it is possible this prostitute never told him." He told her, he had seen enough men cheat on their wives to know that the children were rarely a factor. He was also trying to give the man the benefit of the doubt it was possible he never knew he had fathered a son. To him it could have just been a bit on the side.

"He knew about him I am sure of it, I think he was with her years. He had another child and I thought he loved me. Why?" she sobbed and yelled. "What did I do wrong? Why wasn't I enough? Why did he leave me? What was wrong with me that he needed to go have another child? Was it because I was a girl? I tried to do everything like he did. I thought I was enough, I thought he was happy with me with our little family. Did he want more kids and mum wouldn't so he went elsewhere? Why did he do it?" She ranted through her tears and he had no answer for her that would give her what she was looking for.

He knew there was nothing he could say right now that could make this better. She wasn't thinking like the logical women he knew she was. This was a 14 year old girl reacting to the ultimate betrayal of the man she loved more than anyone in the world. Instead of saying anything he just held her while she cried rubbing her back just being there for her. She was in essence a hurt little girl and the one man who could make it better was dead.

She sat there in his arms and cried for hours to the point where he was beginning to worry she would make herself sick. To his relief she finally cried herself out falling asleep on the sofa in his arms. He didn't dare move her instead he simply continued to hold her listening to her breath. She finally looked peaceful, free from all the pain by sleep. He continued to watch her for a while until he too fell asleep.

Strickland woke a few hours later to find that Sandra was no longer in his arms. Looking around he saw her standing by the garden window with her arms wrapped around herself as silent tears streamed down her face.

"Let's go upstairs?" He suggested holding out his hand to her, after several second she finally took it and allowed him to escort her up the stairs and into their bed. She continued to cry in his arms, as the night went on he kept hoping she would once again tire herself out and fall asleep. He tried to stay awake but at some point and quite against his will sleep over took him while she just cried. The next time he woke it was morning and she was thankfully asleep in his arms. He had no idea how long she had been asleep but he was willing to guess it was not long enough. He moved slightly and that tiny movement was enough to wake her and her eyes flashed open.

"Morning, were you able to fall back asleep?" he asked feeling guilty for falling asleep before her.

"A little bit, I need to get up and shower I have to meet Jack and I'm already going to be late." She told him getting up and removing her pajamas, her voice was devoid of any emotion and that worried him.

"Sandra about this case-" he began but she cut him off.

"Don't say it Robert." She sighed sounding exasperated.

"I was only going to say be careful, this blood- your brother's blood- was found all over a man who was murdered and chopped up. I just want you to be careful." He told her, he was worried about her for more than one reason but he knew better than to ask her to leave this case to someone else, she was too invested now. He wished he had never agreed to take this case from the City of London the damage it had caused was too great already. A slight wave of panic flash across her face when he said 'brother' and he mentally kicked himself immediately. She was not prepared to refer to this person as her brother, not yet at least. But the look was gone in a moment and her indifferent mask was back in place.

"I will thank you for everything" she replied giving him a kiss. "You won't tell the boys will you?" she asked. She didn't want them to know anything about this; she didn't know what to say to them. And she didn't want them to know about her brother until she was ready to tell them.

"About the blood? No I told you I wouldn't tell anyone and I meant it." He promised her, he wouldn't do that to her no matter how much he wanted to let the three men in on the secret. He would have felt better if they knew, then they could look out for her and keep an eye on her.

"I love you thank you for last night" she replied giving him one more kiss.

"I will always be there for you" he reminded her as he watched her head into the bathroom. Lying there he couldn't shake the bad feeling he had about this case, once more he wished he had never agreed to take it on.

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Her brother was Harry Eldridge's son and he killed his father to protect his mother. This just kept getting worse, Strickland thought. Thank god Jack had insisted that the uniforms arrest him, Sandra had actually thought she could arrest her own brother. He came down and interviewed the man with Jack. Tom had asked if she really was his sister and Strickland confirmed what Sandra has said earlier informing him that his DNA was a partial matched to her own. This information was a surprise to Jack but the older man took it in stride.

Gerry and Brian kept her away from the interview, his orders, she couldn't have anything to do with this they all knew that. He really hadn't even needed to say the words ordering her away. There was no way anyone was going to let her in that interview room, Gerry even refused to let her into the viewing room on the other side of the mirror. He was pretty sure she spent the whole time sitting on the little red sofa in the UCOS office apologizing to Gerry and Brian for not telling them and crying. At least that was how he found her when he and Jack walked in.

"Jack I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know Tom was my brother till I got there and his mum told me." Sandra said the moment she saw them walk through the door, she was next to Jack in less than a second.

"Hey is all okay I understand." He told her giving her a hug; she looked like she needed one. "And the good news is the CPS aren't going to charge him. They are still deciding whether to charge his mother though."

"Well that's good I guess." She replied it was more an automatic response than one she actually meant.

"He went home to talk to her but before he left he asked to talk to you, we told him now wasn't good he asked that you give him a ring when you were ready." Jack informed her with a bit of apprehension.

"You don't have to do anything especially right now go home get some sleep think about it." Gerry added before she could even respond, he could see in her eyes how lost she was.

"Yes why don't you let me take you home please Sandra?" Strickland begged, he didn't think it would do her any good hanging around the office with nothing but the case to think about.

"What about all the paper work?" she tried to object but it was only a halfhearted attempt she really didn't know what she was suppose to do.

"Sandra we can handle the paper work you go home please." Gerry told her surprised she could even think about paperwork at a time like this.

"Okay" she responded going into her office to get her coat and handbag.

"Take care of her" Jack whispered sharply to the younger man.

"I will" Strickland promised all three of them.

"Get her to take a few days off" Gerry suggested.

"I'll try" he said as she returned "Ready?" he asked her.

"Yeah thank you guys" she told the three older men once more before the two of them walked out the door.

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Once they left the office it was the exact opposite of the other night, she barely said a word she just stared out the car window silently on the ride home. He wasn't about to push her, he knew she would talk to him when she was ready. That didn't mean he wasn't worried about her.

"You want a glass of wine?" He asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Will it make my brother disappear?" she replied flatly rubbing her forehead all her crying had given her a headache.

"No" he responded honestly.

"Then what's the point?" she sighed and went to sit on the sofa.

"Right" he said sitting next to her in the sofa. They were both silent, he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her but he didn't think she would accept it just yet. He could see the stress in her tense shoulders, he wanted to help fix that too,

"What am I suppose to do with this?" she asked him after a while. She didn't want a brother; she didn't want to think about her father having another family. She wanted all of this to go away.

"You don't have to do anything; you aren't under any obligation to have anything to do with him. You didn't grow up with him it is just blood. Hell I barely talk to my brother anymore and we grew up close to each other." He told her taking her hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

"I can't just pretend that he doesn't exist" she cried as much as she wanted to do just that, she knew she couldn't wish him away.

"No but you can decided he doesn't have a place in your life. You have that right. Your father had another family he never told you or your mother about. They were his responsibility not yours." He replied trying to convince her she had a choice in the situation.

"Well look how he screwed that up and what do I tell my mother… Christ I can't tell her about this." All the thoughts kept flying through her head and she had no idea what to do.

It had been bad enough knowing she had a brother, knowing the secret her father had been keeping. She didn't know what she had been expecting when she went looking for her brother but Harry Eldrige's son was not it. She didn't know what to think of him or what to do. The idea of a brother was almost more than she could handle. Just the thought of talking to him was enough to cause her chest to tighten making it near impossible to breathe. She wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare. She wanted someone to tell her what to do to make it all go away.

"You don't have to tell your mum anything." Strickland told her pulling her out of her thoughts. He couldn't even imagine how that conversation would go if she did try to let know her mother about all of this.

"I have to do something," she cried as she continued to pace like a caged animal.

"Maybe you should take Jack's advice and wait a few days for it to sink in before you sort all this out and decided what you want to do." He hated to see her like this if he could have done anything to take the pain away from her, he would in a heartbeat. As it was he felt so useless.

"Yeah... he was a terrible father." She growled when she finally turned around to face him.

"Sandra you shouldn't let this taint your memories of him." He knew how much she loved her father; his memory was such a key part of who she was. She may have been voicing his exact thoughts but he was not about to let her know that. She loved her father and when she came to terms with all this, she would love him once more.

"But he was, Tom's mum, his biological mum was killed by her pimp Ian Randall. Then Randall…he tried to kill Tom. That's when my dad killed him. My dad was protecting Tom and yet what did he do? Instead of just telling the police what happened he takes the child to another prostitute who left him in a church. And then my dad goes and covers it all up why? So mum wouldn't find out about Tom? Then when he gets caught covering it up he kills himself leaving all of us to deal with his mess. He didn't care about me or mum or Tom. If he did he would have taken Tom, told mum and then none of this would have ever happen. But he didn't care about anyone but himself." She had begun to pace once more as she ranted about her father.

"Is it possible he thought he was protecting you all by doing this?" He suggested attempting to rationalize her father's actions but that was all he could come up with.

"You're a father would you ever do that to your children?" she growled.

"No I wouldn't I would find another way I wouldn't leave them like that." He admitted, he couldn't imagine leaving his children that way, he knew what it would do to them. It was why he could never forgive Gordon Pullman for what he did to his daughter, for all the pain he caused her.

"That's because you are a great dad. I have spent my life looking up to a lie." The pain in her voice broke his heart.

"I'm sorry" he didn't know what else he could say, so instead he stood up and wrapped his arms around her.

"I feel like I need to do something about Tom but I just don't know if I can. Everything I thought I knew is a lie." She told him as the tears began streaming down her face.

"Hey I still love you. Jack, Gerry, Brian, they still love you, we all care about you and we are all here for you whatever you decided to do." He reassured her holding her tighter and rubbing her back.

"Thank you" she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Why don't you go up and take a nice warm bath I'll order you some food and then maybe you can take a nap you haven't slept much these past few days" he suggested.

"I'm not that hungry." She told him, she was too upset to think about food she wasn't even sure she could keep it down if she did try and eat.

"I'll get Chinese it reheats well."

"Thank you for everything I've been horrible and you have been wonderful" she moaned.

"You haven't been horrible. Come on a warm bath will make you feel a bit better." He said coaxing her toward the stairs.

"I love you" she replied kissing him before she followed his suggestion.

He made a vowel then and there never to let her down the way her father had. He would be the one man she could depend on.

A/N Next chapter starts season seven, thank you for reading and the reviews!


	18. Dead Man Talking

Dead Man Talking

Sandra entered the house slamming the front door behind her.

"I swear whatever it is I didn't do it." Strickland said immediately sensing her anger from her vicious dealing with the door. His comment was intended with the dual purpose of self-preservation and to lightening the mood.

"No you're not a horrible conman who passes himself off as a psychic." She growled storming into the kitchen throwing her bag on a nearby chair. She was furious at the nerve of that man to say things about her life. She would have thought he had enough sense not to try and scam a police officer. Then there was her father's son the man who wouldn't leave her alone, this was low resorting to a psychic all because she didn't want to talk to him.

"Dare I even ask?" he ventured from his spot on one of the kitchen stools.

"Why did you say that when I came in? You said you didn't do it. What are you up to?" She asked realizing what he had said and instantly becoming suspicious.

"Nothing" he replied trying to sound as innocent as possible. He really wasn't up to something and he hadn't done anything he could think of that would have upset up. Yet he had learned through his life that women didn't view the world and his actions the same way he did.

"Then why did you say it?" she stood there scrutinizing him trying to figure out if he was trying to cover something up.

"I just assume when you come home and you're mad that I did something. Saves time" he admitted to her.

"Well you shouldn't, you'll know long before I get home if I'm mad at you." She told him with a definitive nod.

"This is true. I was also trying to be funny but that clearly missed the mark. So why don't you tell me what this charlatan said that made you so upset." He suggested handing her an empty wine glass. He wanted to know what this guy had done to upset her it was a rare event that a stranger could upset her this much and didn't end up arrested.

"No it doesn't matter" she said pouring herself some wine in her glass. "I just want to forget it and have a fun night with you. Tomorrow I will prove he is a fake." She said moving to him and giving him a long passion filled kiss which he gladly returned.

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"My car is now in the damn shop" she yelled slamming the door for the second time that week.

"Why what happened?" he asked immediately concerned he visually checked her over and she didn't appear to be hurt. He relaxed a little knowing she hadn't been physically hurt. Yet she was clearly very upset by something once again, this was becoming an unwelcome habit. He only hoped this time she would actually tell him what was wrong so that he could try and fix it.

"Because a wanna be ninja broke my window. Jack gave me a ride home." She huffed sitting down on one of the stools in kitchen.

"Wine?" he offered feeling a sense of deja vu.

"Yes please" she sighed accepting the glass he handed her.

"What the hell kind of case is this? Psychics, ninjas all you're missing is a wizard." He said with a hollow laugh. It would have been funny or at least the setup to some type of joke if it weren't for the fact that she kept coming home angry. Though as with the previous night she wasn't taking it out on him she almost wanted to avoid talking about it and that made him even more concerned. He decided that if she tried to brush this off as well he wouldn't let her he would push harder till he got to the issue.

"Am I a bad person?" she asked suddenly.

"What?" Her question took him completely by surprise and he sat down next to her and stared at her. It wasn't what he had been expecting.

"Do you think my dad would think I'm a bad person?" She asked again refusing to meet his eyes; instead she stared at her glass of wine. She wished she could just drink the problem away. Yet there wasn't enough wine in the world to make Tom disappear.

"Why would you even think he would feel that way? You are ten times the person he was." He replied a little more harshly then he meant. It was how he felt but he didn't really want her to hear him say it, despite everything her dad had done she still loved him. He thought the man was a coward and a bad father and husband but he tried to keep those thoughts to himself.

"Yeah but-"

"Sandra why would you even think that?" He inquired again pulling her off her stool and close to him. He really wanted to know the person who had put these thoughts in her head. And when he found them he was going to make them regret doing so, he might even use his fist just for good measure.

"He wouldn't like me ignoring his son would he?" she asked quietly resting her body against him. She was so tired of thinking about her dad and Tom, her father created this problem but he didn't stick around to fix it. Did he expect her to deal with this when she found out or did he even want her to find out? She just didn't know and she didn't know what he expected of her. What did he want her to do about Tom?

"You mean the son he hid from you even when he killed himself, knowing you would never know about him?" He questioned, he wanted to know where these thoughts and doubts where coming from. They were far different from the avoidance attitude she had been showing towards Tom over the last few months.

"But I did find out about Tom and my dad would expect me to be more welcoming would he?" she whispered.

"As far as I'm concerned that man doesn't have the right to judge you on anything. This is his mess you don't have to clean it up." It was a good thing the man was dead or he would have had a few words to say about what he had put his daughter through and he wouldn't have civil about it either.

"That's easy to say but I got Tom standing in front of the house begging me to talk to him and a psychic telling me my dad would be disappointed in me." She cried in frustration, she had tried so hard to ignore all of it but it just wouldn't go away, they wouldn't leave her in peace.

"Okay I'm not sure which one I'm going to ruff up first. This is the psychic who you're investigating? So he might have a real reason for messing with you and throwing you off your game?" He asked holding her firmly when she tried to pulled away he didn't like to think of either man upsetting her that way but at least Tom had a real reason- he wanted to know this family, this psychic on the other belonged in jail.

They both knew how these fakes worked they would read people, they said things till they got even a small reaction and then they would run with it. A hundred years ago people had the right idea when they call them confidence tricksters.

"Yes" she whispered refusing to look at him once more.

"And Tom, well I suppose you can't really blame the guy, a big sister that he never knew he had, his world kind of fell apart a bit. It is understandable that he would want to get to know you. But that doesn't mean I like the way he went about it. And that doesn't mean you have to talk to him if you don't want to." He replied he didn't like the idea of the man waiting outside the house to accost her.

"I accused him of working with the psychic but I don't actually think it is true. He seemed genuinely confused when I yelled at him about it." She confessed the whole situation made her feel uneasy, she was not in control and she hated feeling like she wasn't in control.

"Well if he wants to know you he has at least met the angry you." Strickland said with a small laugh trying to make her feel better.

"Thanks" she growled but she couldn't help but smile.

"Sandra do you realize that since the whole thing happened with Tom you haven't called him your brother." He told her being serious once more.

"I want to pretend he isn't real." She admitted hiding her face in his shoulder she knew it was childish but she still wasn't ready to face what was going on.

"I wonder what you would have been like if you had met him all those years ago?" He asked hoping he could get her to talk more about her brother he knew she needed to talk about it. She had avoided the subject ever since it came out months ago and she couldn't deal with it if she didn't at least talk to him about it.

"I would have resented him and directed all my anger at him and he wouldn't have deserved it." She told him the truth, she had thought about that very question and she would have hated he little boy.

"I take it you have contemplated this question already." He guessed from her quick response.

"Since I found out about Tom" she sighed. She had spent a long time thinking about the man she didn't know and yet he shared blood with her. If she needed a kidney it was possible he could provide her with one. She had lain awake for hours thinking thoughts like that. And in the end she just wanted it all to go away she wanted to go back to not knowing he existed.

"Why don't you want to talk to him?" he inquired.

"He will ask questions about my dad, I can't do that" she whispered the last words.

"Tell him you aren't ready to talk about that with him yet. He may actually be more interested in you. You know more about him than he knows about you." He offered rubbing her back she had tensed up when she started to talk about Tom. This didn't surprise him, it was the physical manifestation of what was going on in her mind and it was becoming clear she needed to deal with it in some way. Even if it was to simply tell the other man that she didn't want him in her life. If she did than at least they might both have some closure and they could move on, both had been hurt in all this.

"But I'm not good with actual family members. You and the boys are more family than my real family is most of the time." She moaned the thought of actually sitting down with Tom to talk was a bit overwhelming. Just the thought caused her heart to beat faster and a hole to open up in her stomach.

"Drinks that's all just a test, it isn't like you are making a lifetime commitment to spend birthdays and holidays together. Just have drinks. I think it will make you feel better about this. I know it has been bothering you for a while. You just won't talk about it. How many nights has this kept you up?" He hadn't said anything to her until now but he had seen the way the situation was affecting her. He knew she wasn't sleeping well and she was often distracted when they relaxed on the sofa together at night watching something on TV.

"Every time he called and left me a message I couldn't sleep." She admitted, she knew she should have done something sooner but she hadn't wanted to admit that it was affecting her at all. She had hoped if she ignored him long enough he would take the hint and go away. Clearly stubbornness ran in the family via her father.

"I didn't know he had been in touch that much." He replied softly, he felt like he had let her down by not being observant enough. He knew Tom had called once or twice but clearly he had called more than that.

"I know I didn't want you to know. Not because I didn't trust you or something stupid like that. But because if I talked to you about it then it would be real." She admitted to him, she felt bad keeping him in the dark but she still secretly hoped Tom would just go away.

"I understand but he isn't going to just go away" He said as though he were reading her thoughts. "And it doesn't seem like you will be able to move on if you're letting this get to you. So do yourself a favor and just have drinks with him It's just drinks think about it. Finish your case and then decide but I think this whole 'not doing anything about it' is just eating you up." He tried to persuade her once more, he knew she needed to deal with this but convincing her was proving to be harder.

She didn't say anything but she did nod. He pulled her into his arms once more and just held her. He could feel her cling on to him, she rarely did that and he knew for sure this was bothering her more than she had even admitted to him tonight. He wanted keep holding her forever and make it all better, but it wasn't something he could fix it was all up to her.

A/N Thanks!


	19. It Smells of Books

It Smells of Books

"You're later than usual," Strickland called out as Sandra came into the kitchen it was almost seven. Normally that hour wouldn't have been very late but he knew she had closed her case earlier that day and he had been expecting her home sooner.

"Brian almost got smashed between two rolling book shelves at the London library." She said taking the glass wine he handed to her. "Thank you' she smiled taking a drink.

"Excuse me?" he asked slightly surprised.

"In fact if he hadn't been wearing his bike helmet I think he would probably have a concussion." She said ignoring his questioning look. She did get a little enjoyment when she talked to him about her cases. She always made sure to highlight the strange nature of the case just to see his reaction.

"And why did someone feel the need to squash Brian. Please tell me it wasn't Gerry." The last thing he needed was a report of those two fighting. If he were honest he would probably just throw it in the bin and tell them to deal with their issues on their own time.

"No it wasn't Gerry" She cried hitting him in the arm. "It was our murder suspect turned confirmed murder. Now before I tell you the why remember you asked." He nodded and she continued. She couldn't keep the smirk off her face as she got ready to tell him the detail.

"Brian was looking for a book entitled 'The Treaties on Fruit Trees' expect whatever that is in French written by Henri Duhamel a long while ago. It is a very old and very rare book worth millions. Brian was convinced our murder victim rebound and hid the book so his murderer couldn't get it and so he could retrieve it later and sell it. Our murder agreed but he thought Brian had found the book, so he tried to murder him as well to get this book." She began explaining the strange aspects of this rare book case.

"Well that is a new one." He replied taking a large drink of wine, she always seemed to find the strangest cases. He didn't know if it was the way her team chose cases or if they were just a magnet for the strange and unique. Though if someone was going to solve these cases it would only be them any other team would have just given up. In most cases they actually had that was how they ended up in the UCOS files to begin with.

"Especially when you take in to account that our vic got pushed off the roof of the university library when he wouldn't give up the book. Needless to say Brian has gone off libraries." She smiled as she took her own large sip of wine.

"Was this one of you mothball cases?" he asked.

"That you made us look at again, yep." She confirmed, giving him a pointed look for a second and then shooting him a wicked grin letting him know he was being held partly responsible for all that happened.

"I tell you to pick one, you pick the guy who fell off the roof, you solve it and it has to do with a missing rare book." He said shaking his head. She nodded as they moved from the kitchen to the sofa and curled up together nice and warm.

"That about sums it up but Brian picked it because he wanted to know what books the guy was reading from the library." She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

"You do solve the strangest cases" he shook his head before smiling as he gave her a kiss.

"You keep handing them to me in big stacks, it's not my fault someone failed to solve them the first time around." She rested her head on his chest closing her eyes, she could very easily fall asleep nice and warm in his arms.

"Well what I want to talk about is the weekend." He said changing the subject, he could see how relaxed she was and thought now was probably the best chance he had of getting a yes from her.

"Do you have to go away?" she asked with a sigh not bothering to open her eyes. She had hoped they would actually get to spend the weekend together doing exactly what they were doing right now. A nice quite break from the real world and all its strangeness.

"No" he told her quickly.

"Do you have the kids?" she didn't think it was his weekend but there could have been a change in plans. It happened every so often during the school years sports trips and big exams had a way of changing plans, she had long gotten used to it.

"No" he repeated.

"Then what's there to talk about?" she was now seriously considering falling asleep. She didn't even care about dinner at that moment.

"Let's do something" he said carefully.

"And what do you have in mind in the dead of winter?" She asked finally giving in and opening her eyes, she felt like he was up to something.

"I was thinking...I want to take you ice skating." He told her holding his breath hoping she didn't react badly.

"Or we could do just about anything else." She countered; the idea of spending the day outside on ice was not how she wanted to spend her Saturday.

"What? Why don't you want to go?" He asked hoping he wasn't pushing too much, he needed her to agree.

"Because it is cold" she replied with a sigh.

"That is usually when it is best to go ice skating, doesn't work so well when it starts to melt." He joked trying not to give away how desperate he was.

"Funny, but I don't want to be cold all afternoon" she whinged.

"You have gone ice skating before haven't you?" He inquired trying a different tactic.

"Of course I have my dad took me it was fun but I haven't done it in a long time."

"Neither have I but I'm sure it's just like riding a bike" he continued.

"Haven't done that in a long time either" she responded with a laugh.

"Come on please" he decided begging was his only course of action left.

"Don't you want to wait and take the kids? Then when you fall you can at least blame them." She smirked at him as she said it.

"I was hoping to get a little practice and then take them so I won't fall in front of them." He explained to her, it was most of the truth.

"Oh so this is just the first ice skating trip you wanted to take." Now she knew he was up to something.

"Yes please go with me and I will do anything you want." He begged her. Her eyes lit up at that offer and a sense of panic rose in his mind. "Not work related, but anything else." He amended his statement but he was even more nervous now because her look hadn't gone away even when he excluded work from his offer. She had something in mind and he wasn't going to like it.

"Les Miserables in the West end." She said grinning, she had asked him several times to go with her and he always seemed to find an excuse.

"That is such a depressing story." He whined but she gave him a look that told him that was her price.

"Yes if that's what you want then yes. But you have to come on both trips," He negotiated further giving in to the initial request but upping her involvement.

"That was expected, someone has to be responsible for you." If possible her smile got bigger.

"Ha ha, so you'll do it?" he asked eagerly even if it meant going to the theater.

"Yes but only because I love you" she agreed with a smiled. "And because you are absolutely taking me to the theater now."

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"Well that went well" she said sarcastically handing him a second cold pack. The first was already on his left knee the second was for his right shoulder and there was a heating pad currently on his back.

"Right real well, you remembered how to skate and you looked good out there and attractive in your little hat. How is it I on the other hand was a mess?" He winced as he shifted trying to find a more comfortable position, ultimately he determined no such position existed and gave up.

"You weren't looking at my ass the whole time where you?" She asked giving him a pointed look.

"No I wasn't" he said with a growl.

"Then I don't know. It was impressive that every time you fell you managed to go sliding into the wall." She replied trying hard not to laugh.

"Yes I can feel each one of those hits in my bones. This was a disaster." He moaned as he positioned the cold pack on his shoulder.

"Well maybe Mione and Roo won't want to go." She suggested attempting to make him feel a little better.

"They already asked to go" he finally admitted to her. "Maybe you could take them I'll just watch safely from the side" he tried.

"No you are not putting this off on me. Either suck it up and do it for your kids in which case I will help you up when you fall. Or you tell them no and take them somewhere else instead." She ordered giving him a look that told him he better not dare argue with her. He was not going to get off that easy.

"I guess you're right, maybe we will get a sudden warm spell." He said giving in. "Global warming and all."

"Unlikely but maybe you will get lucky" she laughed knowing full well there was no way out of this for him.

"Do I still have to go…" he didn't even want to finish the thought.

"Go see Les Mis? You bet." She told him firmly.

"But I got hurt." He moaned giving her a pout.

"Then it is a good thing all you have to do is sit and watch." She said placing a blanket over his lower half in an attempt to make him comfortable.

"Watch people die" he grumbled.

"Well too bad I already got us tickets because you promised and I knew you would try and find a way out." She informed him smugly she knew he would try and worm his way out of this and she wasn't going to let him. They were going to the theater.

"I did promise but I got hurt." He tried again to use her sympathy towards him to get out of the theater.

"I believe I tried to warn you and then I tried to help you and as I recall you didn't want my help." She reminded him, her voice lacked any sympathy. She was not going to let him get away with playing the victim.

"I will confess at first I didn't want help." He admitted a bit ashamed of the way he acted earlier. He had wanted to show off and look good for her he didn't want to be the middle aged man who needed help on the ice.

"Were you channeling your seven your old son?" she asked trying not to yell at him. She never thought she would see a grown man act so foolishly and she worked with three of the most childish men on the planet.

"A little bit I suppose. I will have you know when I realized it was going badly I didn't want you to fall down with me and that's why I wouldn't let you help." He told her trying to make his actions look reasonable and noble.

"I got that feeling when you yelled 'I'm falling I won't take you down with me' as you looked like a cartoon character slipping. You got a lot of strange looks." She was trying to remember that she was supposed to be mad at him but the memory of the event was quite humorous she had to try very hard not to laugh.

"You are enjoying rubbing it in my face" he said sulking a bit.

"While it is a little fun I do have another motive" she informed him.

"And what is that?" he asked with a scoff.

"I'm trying to make sure you remember this the next time you get a silly idea like this. You could have slipped and cracked you head open or broken a number of bones all because you acted like you were an Olympic figure skater even as you fell. And you cannot begin to imagine how angry and upset I will be if you seriously hurt yourself because you still think you're twenty. Do you understand me?" She lectured him loudly; all the humor was gone as she thought of everything that could have happened to him.

"Yes I'm sorry I guess I should have been a little bit more careful." He agreed sounding appropriately repentant and embarrassed. She was right ice skating could be dangerous if a person wasn't careful.

"So next time when we take the kids instead of worrying me half to death why don't you take it easy and relearn how to skate? That way I don't have to spend half my time search the place for a paramedic" she continued to lecture him.

"I guess I could do that I didn't mean to worry you." He replied and now that she was sure he was actually sorry for nearly killing himself she leaned down and kissed him.

"You know if I had to guess I would say you where trying to show off for me." She commented raising her eyebrows at him.

"Yes I was I wanted to impress you and look all athletic and maybe even a little hot and sexy." He admitted blushing.

"Okay listen to me and listen good Robert Strickland you are a very sexy, attractive and not to stroke your ego but you're also pretty cute. You do not need to risk your life to try and impress me that way. You are the man I want to come home to each night and go to bed with and make love to. And I much prefer when you are just you and not pretending to be a twenty something prat. And for future reference even if it was all you were wearing parkas are not sexy." She told him flatly her arms folded across her chest to make her point.

"Cute is a good thing right cause the only person I ever hear use that word is Hermione?" he asked.

"Yes it is a good thing." She said shaking her head, naturally that was the statement he focused on.

"Well in that case I give you my word I will never do anything this stupid again." He promised giving her a goofy smile.

"Good" she said walking into the kitchen, she returned a few minutes later with a mug in one hand and a whiskey bottle in the other. "Are you sure you don't need to go to A&E?" She asked him for the third time.

"I'm sure" he assured her.

"Then you can have both of these, hot chocolate; the traditional drink to warm up after ice skating." She said handing him the warm mug.

"Thank you" he replied as he gladly accepted the mug.

"And then we have the universal cure all" she continued handing him the bottle.

"Ah whiskey perfect, you are wonderful." He said pouring a liberal amount into his drink.

"Okay, you have had actual pain pills and liquid pain killers, and you have ice and heat is there anything else I can get you?" She asked trying to think of something else she could do for him.

"Nothing right now except you sitting next to me" he replied and she willingly sat down beside him on the sofa once more. "Are you actually taking care of me after I was rather stupid and childish?" He asked her more than a little surprised.

"Yes" she smiled at him.

"Why? I deserve to be left to fend for myself."

"Yes well I love you and I can't stand to see you hurt and struggling. But you do this again and you won't be so lucky." She warned him once more.

"I won't I promise" he told her sincerely.

"Now what do you want to watch on the telly?" She asked him picking up the remote.

"As long as it isn't reality TV I don't care." He answered pulling her a little closer and wincing as he did so. Once he had her where he wanted her he closed his eyes.

"How much whisky did you put in that hot chocolate?" she questioned looking over at him.

"Just the right amount" he smiled opening his eyes. He picked up his mug taking another big slip. "Are you having some?"

"Yeah but I will skip the whiskey. One of us needs to be responsible." She replied but she made no movement to get up and get herself a mug.

"I'm sorry I messed up our weekend." He apologized to her, he felt guilty for how things had turned out, they only ended up spending a half an hour at the ice rink before she had to take him home.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say you messed it up. I was looking for a quiet weekend in snuggling on the sofa. I would have skipped the ice skating thought and went straight to the sofa." She replied with a grin.

"You always have been smarter than me."

"I have always known that" she said smugly.

"I'm sure you have, and now it is snowing" he said looking out the window.

"Good thing we are in the prefect place to enjoy snow, inside nice and warm. And I could even be persuaded to give you a back rub tonight" she offered him.

"You're an angle."

"You say that now."

"You are perfect, magnificent, superb."

"Okay Mr. Thesaurus give me the whiskey I'm cutting you off." She said moving to take his mug but he pulled it away out of her grasp and she decided to let him keep it.

"Thank you for taking care of me" he said sincerely.

"Always, I'm just glad you didn't bruise your lips." She replied leaning over and kissing him.

A/N I hoped you enjoyed the chapter thanks for reading and reviewing.


	20. Left Light

Left Light

"You want to talk about it?" Strickland asked as they sat on the sofa, the remains of their take away on the table in front of them.

"Talk about what?" Sandra replied confused as she took another drink of her wine.

"Whatever it is that has you so distracted" he skillfully observed. He had been watching her all night and while he was talking he could see her attention stray. She clearly had something on her mind that she wasn't sharing with him.

"I just can't stop thinking about the case." She admitted as she finished off her wine.

"You mean the one you just closed after finding a missing child alive. I would think that would be the best possible outcome for a case like this?" He asked even more confused.

"Oh it is" she agreed with him, she knew how hard missing persons cases where especially when they involved children.

"Then what exactly has your attention?" He wondered if she was purposefully being difficult.

"The boy's parents" she finally told him. She wasn't sure she really wanted to talk to him about it, but she couldn't stop thinking about it.

"What particularly about them?" he pushed her gently still trying to figure out what she was upset about.

"Well you got the mum Anne who believes big brother government is going to be watching every move we make. And the dad Fred who believes all men are being persecuted by women feminist whom he calls fema-Nazis. He even goes so far as to say they are just like the Nazis persecuting the Jews. He teaches classes and writes books on the subject. And he is infuriating." She told him with a great sigh before she continued.

"Oh you'll like this, he believes woman don't have sex for pleasure we do it because we all just want a baby and once we get one we don't care about sex anymore. Also I have been corrupted by capitalism, the market, women's magazines, and the drug companies in to thinking I enjoy sex." She said sharing all the crazy idea that these people thought. Even as she repeated some of the ideas that Fred had shared with her she still couldn't believe it and she gave him a look that told him what she really thought.

"And here I thought I had a little something to do with you liking sex." He replied as he filled both their glass with more wine, he felt like he was being insulted by this man Fred.

"I think you have more than a little" she informed him shooting him a big smile before she took another drink of her now refilled glass.

"So this guy who clearly hates woman found out his son-"

"Actually he knew from the start that the boy wasn't his son" she corrected him.

"So he just hands the boy over to his biological father and lets the mother think he had been kidnapped for all these years and he was even going to let someone else take the blame for it." That was a very cruel thing to do to in his mind and he had been through a divorce.

"Yeah, one of his crazy followers was putting pressure on John Davies to confess to it. Though I think all the BS this guys wrote in his books was to justify him taking the boy away from his mum." She growled thinking about the man and his ideas got her angry all over again.

"No matter how angry I got with my ex I would never take our children from her." He couldn't imagine anything worse for a parent to go through.

"That's because you are a wonderful man and an amazing dad." She told him with a big smile snuggling closer to him.

"Thank you for that." He said kissing her.

"You know what Fred actually said to me and Gerry? He said that he just didn't love his son because he wasn't biologically his. And then you should have seen Gerry he actually made me so proud." She continued with a giant smile.

"Oh what did he do?" his curiosity peaked by her excitement. Usually she was angry or upset or frustrated by something her boys did but it was not often she admitted to being proud of them. Yet he thought that might have more to do with her belief that he wouldn't approve of the men's action, he felt she was often secretly very proud of them.

"He told this guy that a real dad wouldn't care if the kid was his biologically he would be proud at simply getting the chance to be a dad." He watched her bean with pride as she recounted the events, it made him smile and he tried not to laugh. He wondered if she truly understood how much those guys meant to her, they really were like her children.

"Bravo Gerry" he said with a smile to match hers and he completely agreed with everything the older man had said.

"I just wish we had been able to get Fred on more than just perverting the course of justice. He took a seven year old away from his mother and sent him away with a stranger to Gaza which is not a safe place." She said and her level of happiness was much lower than a moment ago.

"No it isn't" he agreed.

"His mum is going to try to find him. She said I wouldn't understand why she was doing it because I didn't have kids. What I couldn't say to her was that I understand wanting to find her child, but I think she has this image of her seven year old son who doesn't exist anymore, he is no longer seven he has grown up. He spent the last twenty five years in Gaza and he may not be happy to see her. I just hope she isn't setting herself up for more heart break." She told him and he could tell it was upsetting her.

"I suppose she has to try." What he really wanted to say was to tell her that she was in fact a mother. She was great with his kids they loved being around her and she always seemed to know just want to say. Yet he knew she didn't feel that way and he was about to say it when she began taking again.

"You know what you said back at the office about wanting to protect us that was one of the nicest thing you have ever said to me about my team." She said giving him a sweet smile. She knew he could be a very sweet and kind man but at work his business demeanor often got in the way. She also knew that he felt he had to act that way that it was part of the job.

"Sometimes I feel you think the worst of me at work." It was true she always seemed to think or at least she acted as though he was out to get her team.

"No I just know what kind of pressure you're under. You need to show the higher ups that we get results. We are living in a recession I get it. And sometimes you act like you want a specific result because it will look good. I just can't give you that." She tried to explain to him how she felt. They were both bound to their jobs and their positions, her job was to catch the bad guys his was to watch their bottom line-among other things.

"I want you to find the truth" he replied trying to reassure her.

"Then say that talk to us like real people not in the code you use with the politicians." She cried, she didn't understand why he said some of the things he said in the office.

"That isn't always a luxury I have. Sometimes I am expected to communicate certain views." He said trying to explain his position to her.

"You can actually talk to us you know, those three hardly ever follow the rules." She reminded him with a small laugh.

"Oh yes I know all about how they don't follow the rules and I'm pretty sure they are teaching you all their bad tricks." He said giving her a look.

"Not all of them and I do things my way, they know that and I would have thought you learned to that by now."

"Yes I know how all four of you do things, how you work. At least you toe the line enough that I get to look the other way." He said with a laugh, he didn't really want to talk about work anymore what he really wanted was to get her upstairs. It had been a long week for both of them and he wanted to relax and get as far away from work as was humanly possible.

"Our clean up record doesn't hurt." She pointed out as she finished her glass of wine.

"It most certainly doesn't. Are we done talking about work now?" he asked getting impatient

"Oh what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking of all the things we could talk about in the bedroom. We could test out your crazy guy's theory; see if we can get to the bottom of exactly why you like sex." He suggested with a wicked smile. He stood up and held his hand out to her.

"I could be persuaded to join you upstairs." She replied putting her glass down and accepting his hand.

"Shall I bring another bottle the wine?" He asked as she started towards the stairs.

"Yes I think you should." She called seductively over her shoulder.

A/N thanks for reading and reviewing!


	21. Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate

"Did you really say to me you were surprised we solved this case?" Sandra asked Strickland. She was once again talking to him on phone but it was now night time and she was curled up in bed wishing he was next to her and not on the other end of the phone.

"I only meant I was surprised it was solved so quickly." He replied desperately trying to walk back his earlier comments. He knew the moment he said the words to her that it was an error on his part he just hadn't expected her team to solve the case within a few days.

"You should have lied and blamed the bad connection" she told him with a laugh. It was a good think she loved the guy or she would have been rather put out by his remarks. But she knew him well enough now to know he didn't really mean it that way he said it.

"I'm not that good at lying to you on the spot" he sighed. "And you never cease to amaze me with your talent to solve crimes. You are magnificent." He told her a little flattery never hurt especially when it was true. He honestly was astounded by the cases her and her team were able to solve. He tried to make a point to tell her this whenever he could.

"Really trying to make it sound good, laying it on a little thick don't you think?" She laughed seeing right through his statement.

"Is it working?" he asked hopefully. He had a tendency to say the wrong thing when he wanted to praise her for her and her team's good work.

"We'll see when you get home." She said trying to sound grumpy but she had a big smile on her face. Lucky for her he couldn't see it.

"Are you going to tell me about this Colin Pitchfork?" He asked curious about her comments from their earlier conversation, the one he was now in trouble for.

"Nope if you want know you'll have to ask Jack and Brian. And we will talk about that note you left me later." She answered teasing him.

"I was rushed I'm sorry. I thought the goodbye I left you with that morning would have been more than enough. It was the reason I was late in the first place and had to leave you that note. I completely forgot about the stupid thing. But I am sorry how can I make it up to you? I saw some delicious looking chocolate in a store window and you could eat it while wearing the little number I got you. I saw it in another store window and just had to get it." He offered trying to change the subject to something more fun. He hated being away from her stuck at a stupid conference alone when he would have much rather been curled up in bed with her at that very moment.

"Have you actually spent any time at this conference?" She teased a bit more.

"I have in fact and I have been bored out of my mind. So what are your thoughts on the chocolate after your case?" He asked her once more. He didn't want to talk about the stupid conference that had taken him away from her. He wanted to focus on coming back home to her.

"It better be the most artisanal chocolate there ever was. I don't want to see a candy bar for a very long time and I never want to see anything that resembles a nougat ever again." She said firmly it was a wonder she could eat any chocolate after the case. When she looked at it she couldn't help but think of a finger cut off by a crazy cheating lover.

"Too close to this case?" he correctly guessed.

"You think?" she replied sarcastically.

"Sorry I won't mention candy again. I hate being away from you." He admitted the empty bed was starting to get to him.

"The feeling is very mutual." She sighed snuggling down into the covers; she wished he was right there beside her. She closed her eyes trying to pretend he was there with her and not on the end of a phone line.

"You know now that I am back at my hotel with have a good connection and you are home from the pub maybe we could try something over the phone?" he offered carefully.

"What like phone sex?" Her eyes popped open as she scoffed at his idea. She was more than a little surprised he was actually proposing they try and have sex over the phone.

"Yes" he replied he thought it was a good idea. If they couldn't be together that didn't mean they couldn't try and enjoy each other even if it was over the phone.

"I don't think I could take it seriously" she laughed just trying to picture it in her mind. She couldn't seriously envision trying to feel sexually aroused over a phone line.

"What? I can be very serious." He argued a little put out by her comments.

"It feels cliché like from the telly or worse from a case." She answered trying to explain she just couldn't do it. She wanted to be with him, to make love to him and that wasn't something she could do over the phone.

"You are probably right. It was worth a try," he sighed. As much as he wanted to try he did have to admit she had a good point.

"Right thank you" she replied closing her eyes once more.

"So how was your day off? You didn't miss me at all did you?"

"I missed you very much, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a day of taking care of myself. And I'm sure you're not too upset you missed my shopping excursion." She answered keeping her eyes closes if she tried she could imagine he was right next to her and not a few hundred miles away.

"What handbag duty?" he asked, it was no secret he didn't like to hold her bag while she shopped.

"If Gerry, Jack, and Brian can do it so can you" she reminded him.

"Right" he sighed once more, he was surprised they actually carried her bag. Those three had a tendency to make his life harder in unexpected ways. A perfect example was her handbag. They begrudgingly agreed to carry her bag whenever she handed it to them. This meant she expected him to do the same and he hated holding her bag. It wasn't that he felt like it emasculated him but it made him feel like she only wanted him there to hold things for her.

"I found some really cute shirts and a rather sexy little black dress." She teased him she opened her eyes slightly to peer at the dress hanging across the room. She knew he was absolutely going to the love how she looked in the dress.

"I can't wait to see it and to take it off you" he teased her back.

"I'm sure you will find a way to get me out of it as quickly as possible. You can't seem to stop with the sexual fantasies tonight, first chocolate now this." She observed, it was clear he was very distracted by his sexual desires. If he were home she would have gladly explored those desires but she just couldn't do that over the phone.

"Oh they are only fantasies until I get home." He promised he was beyond teasing her now. He was continuing to become more and more frustrated sexually.

"Promises, promises" she couldn't hold back the laugh. "Oh get this Gerry is trying to give up smoking." She told him wisely changing the subject. She knew if she didn't do something to try and steer the conversation away from sex he was going to try his phone sex idea once more.

"Right and how is it going? By the way I am going to ignore the fact that you went from our sex life to Gerry." He informed her and she could imagine the look her was giving her.

"We already agreed no phone sex" she reminded him trying not to get short with him.

"You agreed" he moaned.

"So I had to change the subject" she told him.

"Right so how is Gerry doing with it?" He asked giving up on the phone sex conceding to the fact that she really wasn't going to agree to it no matter what he tried.

"I'm not sure but I'm not letting him off that easy. He asked for my help and he is damn well going to get it." She said firmly she was determined to help him quit.

"He'll soon regret that." He replied quietly, he would have thought Gerry would have been smarter than that.

"Excuse me?"she demanded her voice rising.

"I didn't say anything" he had hoped she hadn't heard him.

"Sure you didn't" she replied letting it go it was too late to fight. "How long until you get back?" she moaned.

"Two more long days" he complained, he really hated being away from her. After his divorce he got use to living alone and going away for work didn't both him much but now he had someone to come home to. Now he hated having to travel away from her, all he wanted was to come home to her at night.

"Great I can't sleep without you. I keep waking up at the crack of dawn and I am so done with being up at that time of day." She sighed, she didn't know when it happened but she had gotten so use to him being there next to her every night when she went to bed and every morning when she woke up.

"Sorry, if it helps I can't fall asleep without you next to me" he sympathized. He lay there tossing and turning longing for her presence next to him. The hotel bed was very comfortable but he couldn't seem to sleep without her calm even breathing next to him and her smell on the sheets.

"Well what a pair we are." He continued with a hollow laugh. "As much as I don't want to, I have to let you go. I have a bunch of papers I have to read before tomorrow's presentation." He told her looking over at the bedside clock.

"Do you have homework?" She asked slightly mocking him.

"Yes I do" he whinged.

"Well we wouldn't want you to be the only kid who didn't get it done." She was really teasing him now and she was enjoying every minute of it.

"I love you." He said ignoring her comments.

"I love you too." She sighed "hurry home please."

"As soon as I can" he promised.

A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	22. Good Morning Lemmings

Good Morning Lemmings

"I hate Twitter" Sandra yelled as she entered the front door, slamming it behind her.

"Okay…why?" he asked from his seat on the sofa. Ignoring him she tossed her coat and handbag on a nearby chair. She moved to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine before finally sitting next to him in a huff. She sat there next to him in silence brooding as she slowly drank her wine.

"Sandra are you going to talk to me and tell me what is wrong?" he asked her. He was tired of the silence if she was mad at him he just wished she would tell him or yell at him.

"Maybe" she replied grumpy at the interruption in the silence. She was still rather upset at having to spend her evening stuck in a van with Brian.

"Well if you are going to talk to me will you at least tell me the reason you hate twitter?" he asked hoping she would clear up that one question.

"Because the whole reason I was out there all night in a van instead of being in my nice warm house, besides the fact that you are an asshole, is because Brian was too busy on Twitter to do what I told him." She replied finally answering his question. She followed it up by taking a big swig of wine.

"Ah so that's what happened." He commented hesitantly trying to ignore her comment directed at him. He knew she wasn't happy about having to go out and watch for a cash point to be robbed all night. It was one of those times he had hated being her boss but he had to do it and he had hoped she was over it by now, clearly he had misjudged the severity of her anger.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit" she glared at him. He was deliberately ignoring the situation he helped create. She hadn't wanted to be anywhere near that damn cash point especially for the number of hours it took to finally catch the criminals who were far from masterminds.

"Hey this is Brian's fault not mine." He replied trying to defend himself.

"I am holding you two equally responsible" she cried drinking more wine.

"That doesn't seem fair, shouldn't it be seventy five percent him twenty five percent me?" He asked foolishly arguing with her. Experience should have taught him not to argue when she was pissed at him but he never seemed to learn.

"Well the way you're going you are going to get the seventy five percent" she replied angrily.

"How did it go?" He inquired changing the subject. He hoped that if he got her talking about the case her anger might abate and he could salvage something of their night.

"We caught them. That was the one part of the evening I did enjoy. Opening the van door right into a punk ass kid almost made up for the five hours I had to sit there babysitting Brian. Almost" she growled glaring at him.

"I should be scared when you say things like that but it makes you quite sexy." He told her trying to soften her up.

"Yeah well you should just be afraid cause all that sexy stuff you're thinking about isn't going to happen tonight. I am going up to have a nice long hot bath and go to bed. And you're not invited." She said finishing up her wine.

"To which part?" he asked cautiously.

"Any of it" she hissed as she stood up and stretched, her body was stuff from sitting in the van all night.

"But my night got messed up too." He whinged, he immediately realized that given her current state that was the last thing he should have said but the realization came too late.

"Oh how was your nice quite night on my sofa? Was it fun? Did you have a nice dinner? Watch a football game?" She yelled while glaring down at him.

"I don't really want to answer." He replied softly not meeting her eyes.

"Seems to me you are the one who made out tonight a burger, beer, football and no one to bother you." She continued, clearly she was angrier than she even knew.

"Sandra that's not true" he tried to argue.

"Are you telling me you didn't have a nice night enjoying the match?"

"I didn't exactly say that but that doesn't-"

"I thought so, good night." She cried storming upstairs to lose herself in a bathtub filled with steaming hot water and closing the bedroom door very loudly once she was inside.

"Damn" he sighed stretching out on the sofa this was not what he had planned for the rest of the night. He obviously had underestimated how angry she was with him. She had been a bit agitated when he told her that her team had walked into an ongoing operation and even more so when he order them to help out. She had never told him what exactly had happened and he hadn't pushed he knew better than to provoke her. Obviously she was more upset about it than she had let on.

An hour later he finally ventured upstairs, hoping she had calmed down a bit by now. Usually he waited until the next morning before trying to talk to her. He normally had better luck talking to her once she had a night's sleep to calm her down. But tonight something was different he needed her to know he hadn't stuck her in that van all night just so he could watch football. He was not that type of person and he needed to know that she honestly didn't think he would do something like that.

"Sandra can I come in?" He asked carefully opening the door, she was not one to throw things but there was a first time for everything.

He found her curled up under the covers facing away from the door. She had the teddy bear in her arms, the one his daughter had insisted on giving her. When she was mad at him or upset she always seemed to pull it out from some hidden place.

"I thought I told you, you weren't invited" she growled not turning to look at him.

"I know just let me talk to you and explain. Then I will go" he promised, he at least wanted her to understand and once she did he would gladly go sleep on the sofa.

"Fine" she sighed a hint of anger still in her voice. Even though she had agreed to talk to him she didn't roll over to face him.

"Look Sandra I had an angry DCI who was hopping mad that you walked into his operation and who just happened to be short staffed." He told her sitting down on the end of the bed begging his case. "I knew what he wanted and I gave it to him because if I didn't it would have looked like I was playing favorites. I couldn't tell him I had plans with the Detective Super so he could shove it. We are trying to keep this a secret. It's what you keep telling me you want. And I couldn't go with you tonight that would have been exceedingly strange, people would have thought I didn't have faith in you or they would have started asking questions. I'm sorry I got to stay home while you were stuck in a van." He apologized hoping she would understand why he had to do what he did.

"Five hours in a van with Brian trying to keep him away from twitter" she growled. She finally turned over him shooting him a glaring. "I seem to remember that you wanted to watch a football game tonight and I wanted to go to the cinema. Which one of us got what they wanted?" She demanded it felt far too convenient that he got to do exactly what he wanted. They both knew that if she had been home that evening she would have made him go to a film with her. The longer she sat in that van the more suspicious she became.

"No, no, no, I didn't. Tonight had nothing to do with that. I was looking forward to us going out. I really was and we will go tomorrow whatever film you want whenever you want. Take me to the sappiest romantic movie you can find I won't complain once." He told her making her promises hoping she would forgive him. It was the truth he would never be that devious with her, he knew better than that. She was one of the best detectives on the force and she always caught him. And honestly he wasn't that type of person he didn't want to lie and manipulate the woman he loved.

"Fine I believe you" she said sitting up though she wasn't completely sure she did. But she was too tired to keep fighting with him and it was easier just to accept what he was saying, at least for now. "I hate twitter" she said once again.

"Trust me so do I" he sighed as he moved closer to her; she gave him a confused look. "Hermione wants to join twitters, says all her favorite celebrities are on there. And if she gets a twitter account I have to get one too." He informed her playing with the fur on the bear she was still holding. She pulled it away from him sitting it down on the other side of the bed away from him. She was still a little mad at him after all.

"Why do you have to get one?" she asked. It was late, she was tired, and she was confused, she didn't understand why he had to be on twitter just because Hermione was.

"That was the agreement between me and her mum. If she gets a social media account I have to get one and she has to friend me or follow me or whatever. And before you ask the reason I get to be responsible for social media is because I am a police officer and because of this Helen believes I have more experience spotting these predators. Why do you think I won't let her have a Facebook account either, because then I have to have one and I can't begin to tell you how much I don't want one?" He whined just the thought of Facebook was enough to make him cringe.

"Yeah I can't really imagine you on Facebook it would be kind of funny though." She told him with a laugh it was the first time she had smiled all night.

"Wait you're on Facebook?" He asked shocked.

"Yeah" she said with yawn. "I'm not stuck in the Stone Age like you are."

"How long?" he asked a plan forming in his head.

"I don't know a year or so why does that make it so you want to join now?" she smiled at him.

"No, I just found my way out." He said with a giant smile.

"What?" she asked completely confused.

"You can friend her and check what she's going. And I won't have to have anything to do with Facebook." He was becoming excited now.

"Wait why do I get the responsibility?" she cried the idea of having to monitor a soon to be teenager's social media account was overwhelming.

"Because you already have an account, please do this for me" he begged her.

"I'm the one mad at you. You're supposed to be making it up to me not asking me for a favor." She reminded him with a frown. And this was a really big favor making her responsible for his daughter's online activities, it was a huge thing to ask of her. She felt the need to remind him that she had no idea what she was doing when it came to kids.

"Please I will make everything up to you and Hermione will love you even more than she already does." He continued to beg he was desperate.

"Fine but you owe me a lot." She said giving in she was too tired to put up a fight, even though the thought of it scared her but she knew he wouldn't give up.

"I know thank you I love you. I will tell her the good news when they are here this weekend. You don't want to join twitter do you?" He tried though he knew he was trying his luck severely.

"Don't push it." She said sending him a glare before she lay back down.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" He asked hopping she wasn't that made at him.

"Yes, but only if you shut up right now." She growled closing her eyes and rolling over.

A/N Hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading and reviewing.


	23. Facebook & Twitter & Black Eyes Oh my

Facebook and Twitter and Black Eyes Oh my...

The weekend after the whole twitter incident at work Sandra sat watching TV waiting for Strickland and the kids to get to her place. The plan was to spend the afternoon at the park, the day was cool but the sun was shining bright. She had expected them to be there already and was beginning to worry what was keeping them. She had decided to give him a call when she got a text from him.

 _Can you please come over we have a major issue_.

It wasn't much to go on but no other information seemed forthcoming and with no other option she drove over to his place. When she arrived at his house she found Rufus in front of the television with a cold pack over his eye.

"Roo sweetie what happened?" she asked quickly sitting down next to him. She could hear raised voices from the floor above and figured the two missing family members were up there. He pulled the cold pack away to reveal a quickly forming black eye.

"How the hell did you get that?" she exclaimed examining his bruised face.

"Hermione" he said with a toothy grin. "Hermione's in trouble." He added in a sing song voice.

"And why did she hit you?" She asked moving the cold pack back up to his face.

"I ratted her out" he replied still smiling.

"How did you do that?" She asked confused, whatever had happened between the two children before she got there was clearly serious.

"I told dad she already had a Facebook page and she is on twitter." Sandra nodded as the pieces fell into place. "I don't understand Twitter" he added.

"Neither do I, I take it that is what the raised voices are upstairs?" She asked looking up at the ceiling.

"Oh yeah, they have been fighting for a while, first dad yelled at her for hitting me, then he made her go to her room and then he yelled at her about Facebook and they called mum I could hear her on the speaker phone. She is really mad threatened to lock Mione up forever." He told her the smile still hadn't left his face.

"How did you hear the speaker phone from down here?" She asked him, his story didn't quite add up and the detective in her couldn't stop from asking.

"I…um…they were really loud" He tried to explain but Sandra could tell he was lying, the smile was quickly gone from his face.

"Rufus you didn't happen to be listening at your sister's door were you?" She questioned giving him a look.

"Maybe" he winced at getting caught.

"You know you're not supposed to do that" she reminded him.

"I know but I wanted to know what was going on" he whined.

"Well since you went to all that effort at least tell me what else you heard?" she asked with a laugh.

"Not too much more, once mum was done yelling and they got off the phone Hermione and dad continued fighting. Something about him smothering her and how he didn't trust her, she just kept arguing with him. That's when I got bored and came down to watch TV." He told her, clearly the seven year old was not a very good information source.

"Ah, so how's your eye?" she asked him.

"Cold" was his only reply.

"Why don't you take that off for a little while so you don't freeze you eye off" she suggested.

"Okay" he agreed with a giggle taking the cold pack off his face and putting it on the sofa.

She sat there with the boy watching some cartoon that was clearly entertaining him and she marveled at how children's television had changed since she was a kid.

"Can I play a video game?" he asked once the cartoon was over.

"Only if you show me how to play?" She asked tickling him a little.

"Yes I will teach you" he agreed laughing. He had the game just about set up when Strickland finally came down.

"Sandra you're here" he said relieved. "Sorry I was otherwise…occupied." He bent down and gave her a kiss.

"Roo filled me in, we're letting his face unfreeze for a little while." She told him reminding him of his son's injury.

"Ah …right… good… sorry Roo. Can I borrow Sandra?" He asked his son but he didn't wait for a response he simply indicated for her to follow him into the kitchen.

"I promise I will be right back Roo. Why don't you get started without me?" she told the little boy.

"Okay" he agreed with a sigh.

"I heard there is a secret Facebook page and twitter account belonging to Hermione and Rufus grassed her out." She said once they were in the kitchen.

"Yeah" he sighed rubbing his face. "It all started when I told her she could have a Facebook account as long as she friended you. That's when she told me that she didn't need one, it wasn't cool anymore." He couldn't believe the day had gotten so out of hand. They were supposed to have a nice quiet afternoon at the park. Instead he ended up in vocal combat with his daughter.

"Tell me you didn't believe her?"

"I didn't get a chance to question her or even say a word before Rufus piped up and said she didn't need one because she already had one and a twitter account as well. That's when Hermione flew off the handle and hit him before I knew what was even happening. And then they were both in tears. I sent her up to her room and I got Roo settled down before I went up to talk to Mione." He explained it was clear he was still upset.

"And let me guess that's when the arguing started" she knew before he said anything that she was right.

"Yes and that's when we called her mum and needless to say Helen was not pleased with any of it. And she started yelling, though thankfully we agreed on just about everything, well mostly." He said with a moan he felt exhausted and it was only three in the afternoon.

"So how much trouble is she in?" she asked.

"Well that phone she is so attached to goes away for at least a month, same goes for her computer, which was where she was accessing Facebook and twitter. I have to go through as much of her history as I can, check what she has been doing and who she has been talking to. And she isn't leaving that room today. No phone, television or computer, she has to sit in there and do her homework. That means we won't be going to the park." He told her there was an apologetic tone at the end.

"I understand" she said with a small smile, she didn't really care about the park but she didn't think that needed to be said.

"Tomorrow was the compromise. Helen didn't want Hermione leaving the house all weekend but that would mean Roo would have to stay in too and we were planning on going to the aquarium. Roo didn't do anything wrong and he got punched in the eye." He was practically pleading his case to her.

"Robert you know I'm not your ex you don't' have to convince me that Roo is getting the short end of the stick here. Though you should probably know that when you and Hermione went up stairs to 'talk' he was listening at the door for a while, that's how he filled me in on some of what happened." She informed him though his son's eavesdropping was probably far from the worst of his problems right now.

"Why am I not surprised, I don't think I have the energy to even talk to him about it." He let out another sigh, as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge, he offered her one but she shook her head no.

"I understand, you were talking about tomorrow." She reminded him that he hadn't finished his thought.

"Right, so the short of it is we are still going to the aquarium if you would like to join us. Please come with us I don't think I am deal with the two of them on my own right now." He begged her, he looked like he had been through the ringer.

"Of course I will come see the fishes with you" she agreed with a laugh.

"Thank you" he said giving her a nice long kiss. "You know how I said Hermione would love you for the facebook thing I don't think that is going to happen." He warned pulling away.

"Yeah I figured that out. I do understand a teenage girl's mind." She told him, the last thing she cared about at the moment was if Hermione was happy with her.

"I hope Roo is okay with not going to the park." He moaned looking at the boy who was playing his video game on the sofa. He was glad to see that his son's eavesdropping had yet to extend to his conversation with Sandra.

"I'm sure he is, he seems to be enjoying his game. In fact I am going to go play with him and I think you should come join us." She nudged him; he needed to relax a little.

"So he can beat you?" he grinned.

"He isn't beating me he is teaching me. You've had a tough afternoon so come on and watch me play."

"I guess" he agreed glancing upward at the floor above.

"Leave her to settle down" she told him, if Hermione was mad it would take a while before she calmed down.

"Yeah you're right, I can't wait to watch a seven year old kick your ass." He replied giving her a giant smile.

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A few hours later, after an afternoon full of video games Roo declared that she was getting better. Even though he thoroughly enjoyed watching her attempts to play Strickland decided that it was finally dinner time. The two adults left the boy to his game as they began to fix dinner.

"I suppose I should go up and get our little felon that is if she even lets me in the room, she was none too please when I left her." He said once the food was almost ready. Yet she noticed he didn't make any movement to actually follow through.

"Would you like me to go up and get her?" Sandra wasn't sure why she was offering she had very little experience with angry children but she could sense he didn't really want to go upstairs.

"Could you please, she might actually open the door for you."

"We'll see" she replied as she headed upstairs. As she climbed the stairs Sandra was still unclear why she had volunteered to do this or what she should or would say to an angry twelve year old. She made her way to the girl's door and knocked cautiously.

"Hermione its Sandra can I come in?" after a few moments she got a response.

"I guess so" the girl called out in a contrary unwelcoming tone.

"Hi" Sandra said entering the room.

"Hi" Mione growled looking up from her book.

"How are you doing?"

"How do you think?" she replied her voice filled with anger and attitude. Sandra walked over and sat on the edge of the bed ignoring the girl's tone.

"I imagine you're upset and you feel like your parents don't trust you." Sandra answered trying to channel her inner teenager or at least her memories of being one.

"They don't" Hermione cried.

"You lied to them" Sandra reminded her.

"Didn't you ever lie to your parents?"

"Oh of course I did loads of times, but when I got caught which was most of the time I was always in trouble. I certainly didn't like it but I knew that was what was going to happen and I suspect you knew you would be in a lot of trouble when your mum and dad found out." She told Hermione honestly, she saw no point in lying to her it wouldn't win her any favors with the girl.

"Yeah I guess" she answered not meeting Sandra's eyes. "But it isn't fair all my friends are on facebook and twitter. I don't understand what the big deal is why are they being so over protective?" Attitude was still lacing the girl's words as she tried to express what she though.

Sandra was pretty sure that all of Hermione's friends were not given as much freedom as she made it sound. But the detective was smart enough not to challenge her on that topic. Instead she thought it was a better to answer her question.

"Here's what the big deal is, your parents don't want you out there online on your own because there are people out there who take advantage of other people. Not just kids or teenagers but adults as well. They are good at it really good, they will pretend to be a kid your age and they are very convincing. But they don't want to be your friend for real they want to hurt you in some way. That is what your mum and dad want to protect you from. And your dad and I know how to look for these types of people we have caught a few of them, they are criminals and they are not nice people at all." She informed the girl, her intention was not to scare her but she wouldn't be upset if Hermione was more cautious on the internet from now on.

"Yeah but-"

"I know when you look at the internet you see this wonderful place with all these great games to play and friends to talk to but it is dangerous. And you have to let your parents teach you how to see these dangers and protect you from it. That's their job. So when you grow up and move out on your own you can take care of yourself." She continued hoping the girl might at least listen to some of what she was telling her.

"Would your parents have gotten this mad?" The girl asked, she was curious now as the attitude had finally left her voice.

"Yes they absolutely would have, my mum would have been furious and probably threatened to lock me in my room for a year. My dad maybe not as much but he would have gone along with my mum. It's what parents do." Facebook and twitter may not have been around when she was young but she knew how her mum had reacted whenever she lied and did what she was told not to do.

"I guess you're right…Sandra does the offer still stand?" Hermione asked nervously.

"What offer?" she replied confused.

"I asked mum when I could go back on facebook and twitter because my friends are going to wonder why I'm not online. Dad is changing the passwords so I can't get back on till they say I can. Mum said maybe in six months if she can trust me, and that is forever but she wouldn't budge and she said the same rules apply. You or dad has to be able to look at it. So can it be you please. You are way cooler than dad you won't flip out over every little thing." The girl was taking very fast and it took a second for Sandra to catch up.

"Of course I will if that is what you want." She responded when she finally understood what Mione was asking her.

"Thank you" she cried happily sitting up and giving Sandra a hug.

"It's time for dinner do you want to come down?"

"I guess so…but I'm not ready to apologize to Roo and mum said I couldn't leave my room till I was ready to." A little bit of attitude came creeping back into her voice.

"Why don't you want to apologize?" Sandra asked taking a deep breath. She thought they were ready to head down stairs. Strickland hadn't warned her of any conditions Hermione had to meet before leaving her room to eat.

"Because he got me in trouble" She explained as if it were the dumbest question ever, which Sandra admitted it probably was.

"Doesn't seem like he deserved to get a black eye for it." Sandra countered thinking of Roo with the cold pack on his face.

"He is so annoying." Hermione whined.

"I thought that was the defining quality of a sibling?" she said playfully with a smile. She couldn't help but think about Tom. If she had grown up with him how many times would she have give him a black eye?

"He just made me so mad" the girl cried.

"But that was no reason to hit him. You can't go around hitting everyone who makes you mad." Sandra told her firmly.

"No I guess not" the girl sighed.

"They why don't you tell him that. Tell him how he made you feel but also apologize, tell him you know you shouldn't have done it." She suggested desperate for some way to get the girl to apologize in some way so they could all eat dinner.

"I guess I could do that" Hermione agreed standing up and Sandra let out a sigh of relief. She didn't have the experience necessary to deal with sibling rivalry. The closest she came by breaking up fights were those between Gerry and Brian.

They slowly made their way downstairs to the dinner table but, Hermione hung back a bit as Sandra went and sstood next to Strickland.

"Roo" she started but immediately stopped and looked at Sandra who gave her an encouraging smile and a nod. "Roo you really made me angry when you told on me to dad and got me in trouble. But…but that wasn't a very good reason to hit you and …I'm sorry."

The two Strickland men looked at Hermione in surprise.

"That's okay it looks kinda cool even if it did hurt." Rufus finally replied.

"Thank you Mione, you want to sit down for dinner, I'll get the spaghetti." Strickland walked back into the kitchen and Sandra followed.

"I'm sure that is not exactly the apology her mother was looking for but if we waited for a real one Hermione would have starved, at least it is more sincere than the one Brian and Gerry give each other." She said trying to explain.

"Are you crazy, you are a miracle worker. I have never seen Hermione be that civil to Rufus after they've had a fight. It is usually like pulling teeth to get one or both to apologize. However did you get so good with kids?" he asked totally amazed at her.

"I didn't" she replied equally surprised. "I got good at working with three temperamental old men who act like children. Plus I'm sure it helps I'm not one of her parents. I don't make the decisions so she is safe talking to me. At least for now. Let's eat I'm starving." She said grabbing the garlic bread. He wanted to tell her she was more of a parent than she knew, but instead he grabbed the bowl of spaghetti and followed her out.

A/N Hope you enjoyed just a little bit of fun for a Tuesday. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	24. Fashion Vicitm

Fashion Victim

Sandra entered the house and tossed her hand bag and coat down on the nearby chair. "Robert" she called as she finally looked up to see her entire living room and kitchen lit with candles and the table laid out for dinner. The man in question was standing there with two glasses of wine in his hands.

"What is all this?" she asked in surprise as she accepted the glass he offered her.

"I wanted to do something romantic" he answered kissing her.

"You succeeded can I ask why you felt the need to do all this?" She inquired looking over the room and the candles once more. She couldn't help but smile at all the effort he put into it.

"I don't have an ulterior motive expect the clearly obvious one that ends with us in bed." He told her with a twinkle in his eye.

"Didn't exactly answer my question" she reminded him as she focused her attention on him.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice," he said taking a sip of wine to cover his lack of eye contact.

"Are you going to tell me?" she asked noticing he was uncomfortable with the question.

"It is highly embarrassing" he moaned.

"Well now I really want to know" she replied with a laugh she was enjoying his slight discomfort.

"See this is what happens when you try to do nice things for a cop they think there is something behind it." He sighed taking another drink; he knew she wouldn't let it go.

"No in my experience when men do things like this there's always something behind it. Are you going to tell me?"

"Promise me you won't laugh," he really should have come up with another reason to give her so he didn't have to tell her the truth.

"I will try" she was curious he wasn't acting guilty which meant he hadn't done something that would make her mad as she initially thought based on his actions.

"I am trying to keep the magic alive," he finally told her blushing a little clearly embarrassed.

"I didn't know that was a problem for us" she replied still a little confused as to where this was coming from.

"I was reading one of those girly magazines you have in the bathroom and it said if you aren't doing something to keep it alive the relationship is already getting old." He told her trying to explain, it sounded really silly when he said it out loud and he blushed even more.

"You read some of my magazines?" she asked honestly surprised.

"I thought it couldn't hurt."

"I find the whole thing sweet and adorable" she said moving closer to him and giving him a kiss.

"I think I was going to for sexy" he admitted but that didn't stop him from pulling her into his arms and kissing her a few more times.

"Isn't that more my department" she said seductively in his ear.

"Then I respectfully defer to the sexy detective" he replied as he peppered her neck with even more kisses.

"Oh I can turn you on by telling you all about Ponzi schemes and why they fail. I can also seduce you with my knowledge of how to detect an investment scheme of the illegal type by comparing its investment payout figures to the market fluctuations the occurs at the same period of time." She said as seductively as she could as she arched her neck exposing more of her to his kisses. He proceeded to move up her neck finishing on her lips with a kiss that made her forget she was even hungry.

"That was kind of sexy" he said as he continued to kiss her. "Did you understand any of that stuff you just said?" He asked as he felt her breath on his neck, she was breath heavily and he smiled knowing he was the cause.

"A little" she replied with a smile.

"Really?" he questioned surprised.

"Just don't ask me any questions about it" she laughed and the sound was music to his ears.

"Don't worry I wouldn't know where to start."

"You wouldn't? I thought you were a man of the world."

"I am that's why I have a bank manager who can explain things like this to me in English." He told her kissing her again.

"So is there food to go along with this beautiful table?" She asked looking back to the candle lit table that had started the whole conversation in the first place.

"Yes salad course first" he told her as he continued to distract her with his kisses.

"How many courses are there?" she asked between kisses.

"You will have to wait and find out" he smiled as he moved back to her neck once more.

"There better be desert" she moaned.

"I think you will be very pleased with desert." He whispered in her ear, sending chills of excitement down her spine.

"Is it possible to skip straight to desert and take it up to the bedroom?" she practically begged him.

"Didn't you tell me just the other day that if you skip meals you get a migraine?" he asked pulling away to look at her.

"You were listening?" she asked surprised but at the same time she was unhappy that he has stopped kissing her.

"Yes of course I was" he replied flashing her a smile.

"Did you read that is the magazine too?" she laughed.

"No, that I learned from Helen or more to the point our divorce taught me to listen better."

"Okay how about salad then desert?" she began to bargain with him hoping the kissing could start again soon.

"If you are having the salad you should have the soup too." He told her, he knew what she wanted he could see it in her eyes and he began to kiss her again, she was hungry and it wasn't for soup or salad.

"There's soup too, how the hell am I... You know what, doesn't matter. Soup, salad then desert upstairs?" she offered though she really just wanted to skip to the end.

"Agreed" he said but he didn't stop kissing her, he was actually working on getting her top off and she wasn't about to object.

"Oh why don't you just turn it into one course and we can eat the soup and salad both right now." She moaned as he removed her bra as well.

"Impatient?" he asked as he began to enjoy all the newly exposed skin.

"You have no idea" she growled at him as she working at the buttons on his shirt.

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"I think my beef is going to be ruined it will be a mess now not fit for reheating and the salad will be wilted." He said as he held her naked body close to his.

"Are you complaining? Do you wish we had eaten instead?" she asked kissing his chest.

"No I had just hoped to impressing you that's all" he captured her lips with his.

"Oh trust me you impressed me" she flashes him a smile that made him want to start their activities all over again.

"Good" he said kissing her again.

"And how many of my meal have you ruined of the past couple of year?" She asked him with a laugh.

"A few, I suppose turnabout is fair" he couldn't help but laugh as well, he had been responsible for many uneaten meals that she had tried to prepare. She was usual the one with more control. "Do you want to tell more about a Ponzi scheme now see if it will turn me on again?"He asked pulling her on top him. He decided dinner could wait a little longer.

"No I would rather let my hands do the talking" she replied with a very wicked smile.

"Sandra Pullman. You really are the devil and you will be the death of me" he sighed as her hands began to explore his body once more. "Oh who needs food" he growled.

a/n Thanks for reading that the reviews


	25. Accidents

Accidents

Sandra walked into the office wishing she was invisible. She had small cuts on the left side of her face, her left shoulder had stitches thankfully hidden by her clothes, but the nice big cut freshly stitched up and newly bandaged on her left hand was quite noticeable. And then there was the large bump on her forehead.

"What the hell happened to you?" Jack bellowed the moment her saw her.

"Accident" was all she would say to him she didn't want to talk about it.

"Did you crash your car?" Gerry cried when he caught sight of her.

"No, household accident, I don't want to talk about it." She informed them in a tone that told them not to push her right now.

"What happened? All your knives attacked you?" Gerry asked ignoring her tone.

"What part of I don't want to talk about it did you not understand. I spent half the night in A&E. I'm tired, please just leave me alone." She yelled storming into her office and slamming the door behind her.

"What do you think happened?" Brian asked just as concerned as the other two men.

"Don't know and she clearly isn't going to tell us" Jack sighed. He knew how private and stubborn Sandra could be but just this once he wished she would answer their questions.

"Whatever happened she isn't happy about it" Gerry observed.

The three men received much the same answers out of her all morning. Sandra was quickly fed up with them and all their questions, all the answers she gave them were short and to the point. She spent most of the morning yelling at them or snapping at them and slamming the door in their faces. The problem was they were coppers and they couldn't let a mystery go unsolved. On top of that they were more than a little worried about her they didn't like to see her hurt and the injuries they could see looked more than just the result of a household accident. Finally by lunch time they had all had enough.

"Sandra come on we're going to the pub for lunch." Gerry called opening her closed door.

"I'm not hungry" she growled.

"I would imagine they gave you some pills for the pain you can't take them on an empty stomach now come with us and eat you'll feel better." Jack tried to reason with her, they were use to her getting upset but this was behavior even they weren't use to.

"No I won't Jack I don't plan on taking the pills and above all I don't want anything to eat. Now leave me alone." She said slamming her door right in their faces once more.

"That's it I'm going to see Strickland." Gerry exclaimed and Jack agreed emphatically, Brian followed.

"You don't think he hurt her do you?" Brian asked.

"No I don't but I expect he had something to do with it, whatever this household accident was." Gerry answered as they rode the elevator up.

"We could have just called him you know" Jack pointed out as they walked quickly towards the man's office.

"Too late now plus I want to see his face when I ask him what the hell happened." Gerry replied as he knocked on the DACs door but he didn't wait for an answer before barging in. The younger man didn't appear to be nearly as hurt as Sandra was, though he had a few small cuts on his hands and face and his bottom lip looked swollen.

"Gerry what the hell? Jack?" Strickland yelled as the three men invaded his office.

"What's wrong with Sandra? What happened? what did you do?" Gerry demanded.

"What did I do? What are you talking about? I didn't do anything." He was slightly confused, he was exhausted, his head hurt and didn't need them yelling at him right now. He thought Sandra would have given the men some explanation as to why she was injured.

"She has cuts and a bruise and she is as angry as a rattle snake, we assume it has something to do with you." Jack informed him with a sharp glare.

"And on top of that she won't talk about it and she won't eat," Gerry added.

"She won't eat oh this is just ridiculous. Fine I'm coming down to talk to her." Strickland said throwing his pen on his desk in frustration. If Sandra didn't want to talk to her co-workers he couldn't make her but he wasn't going to stand by while she tried to starve herself.

"So you do know why she is upset and how she got hurt?" Gerry growled.

"Of course I do I was with her when it happened" he sighed. He wasn't about to share the detains of their night especially if Sandra didn't want them to know but he wish she had told them something.

"Looks like you got hurt too" Jack observed.

"Yes Sandra got it worse I told her to go home and sleep she wouldn't listen, but I didn't think she would actually be stubborn enough to not eat. Not with the drugs she's on." He said with a sigh, when he left her that morning she said she was fine, clearly she hadn't been completely honest with him.

"Said she wouldn't take them" Jack told him flatly.

"Of for crying out loud this is complete foolishness" the younger man exclaimed leaving the room and making a bee line down stairs to the UCOS office. The three older men followed in his wake still very confused as to what had happened. They came for answers but just seemed to find more questions. What had happened to these two and why wouldn't they talk about it.

"Sandra" Strickland called walking into the UCOS office, he saw her door was closed and walked up and knocked on it. "Sandra I'm coining in." Not waiting for a response he pushed opened the door and walked in followed by the three other men.

"Seriously this is what we're doing now?" She hissed looking between the four men "Did you go get him?" She growled turning on the three others.

"Yes" Gerry shot back "we are worried about you."

"This is not something you are going to get in the habit of doing, when you don't like the way I'm acting you go don't running to him because we are together do you understand." She told them all firmly she was not about to lose complete control of her team.

"Sandra you won't tell us what happened we had no other choice but to go to him, you had to know we wouldn't let this go." Jack explained to her.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" Brian asked far behind his colleagues in his understanding of the situation. His ill timed question earning him strange looks from everyone in the room.

"What!" Sandra cried in shock.

"Hurt her no I would never!" Strickland practically yelled.

"Yeah we know" Jack told him glaring at Brian as he said it.

"Then tell us what happened" Gerry asked looking between Sandra and Strickland.

"No you can all get out this is a bloody circus" she shouted at them, why couldn't they let her wallow in peace.

"Not going to happen. Will someone please tell us what happened...sir?" Gerry asked turning his attention to the other man in the room. If Sandra wasn't going to answer them then he was the only other source of information.

"God no Gerry she would kill me right here if I did, Sandra please just tell them. Whatever they are thinking is going to be far worse than what actually happen." He begged her to just put an end to all of this they clearly weren't going to let it go she had to see that.

"It is just so embarrassing, it's bad enough we had to tell the doctor we don't have to see him again but them, I see them every day I couldn't look at them again." She said burying her head in her hands.

"Honestly Sandra you think whatever happened to you is something Gerry hasn't done already?" Jack told her trying to convince her to give up her secret.

"Yeah… Hey wait what?" Gerry said confused at what Jack was saying about him.

"It's true Gerry has literally done it all" Brian chimed in, the man was hardly quiet when it came to his exploits both in bed and in life.

"Well not everything but most things yeah seriously gov'nor I'm sure it can't be that bad." He replied catching what Jack was trying to do, if she felt like they wouldn't judge her she might actually tell them.

"I can't" she moaned looking up at Strickland pleading him to save her.

"And you are going to just sit there and skip lunch. After the doctor told you that you had to eat with the pain meds." He asked her ignoring her pleas and focusing on the reason he came down in the first place.

"I didn't take any more" she told him as she turned away from him angry he wasn't going to help her with the three pensioners.

"Oh I'm sure the pain has made everything so much better." He said sarcastically, she was without a doubt the most stubborn woman he had ever met.

"After what happened last night you honestly expect me to eat." She scoffed fed up with all four of them meddling in her day.

"Christ Sandra that has nothing to do… you are gorgeous perfect in every way, that was not why it broke. It was old, plus I don't think the handcuffs helped the structural integrity." He told her trying to convince her that her assessment of the accident was all wrong. He reached out and took her hand trying to persuade her that what he was telling her was the truth.

"What the bloody hell happened last night?" Jack cried the more they said the more confused he became and he was done with it she would tell him whether she liked it or not.

"I broke the bed okay... while we-" she said exasperated, her confession was cut off by Jack.

"Yeah we get it" he didn't need to hear the rest of her admission he really did not want to know the details of her sex life with her boss.

"Ah now things are beginning to make sense, but still how did you manage all those cuts and that bruise?" Gerry asked still a bit confused.

"The headboard split into a bunch of splinters and the bruise is from his head hitting mine when I flinched away." She told them with a sigh it was all too embarrassing for her to take in.

"Christ you're lucky you didn't get a shard of wood in your eye." Brian exclaimed the image of what happened now in his mind.

"I ducked hence the bruise" she told him pointing to the bump of her forehead.

"Ah yeah sounds like you didn't have a very good bed." Gerry told her much calmer now that he knew what had happened and it was in fact a household accident.

"Thanks Gerry" she hissed through her teeth, she hated them knowing all this.

"See I told you he had already done it." Jack said with a laugh.

"Of course I have more than once." He replied clearly proud of the fact.

"It's embarrassing" she moaned once more it was as though she was stuck in a nightmare that she just couldn't wake from.

"No it isn't it's a badge of honor." Gerry said puffing out his chest quite proud of the three beds he had broken over the years.

"Maybe for you" she whinged.

"Oh I'm sure he thinks so too." Gerry said thumbing in Strickland direction.

"What?... No… I …ah well no leave me out of this." Strickland knew he couldn't possible admit that Gerry was right, Sandra would skin him alive.

"Robert do you feel the same way Gerry does?" She asked giving him a serious glare.

"No I... I don't want to answer the question we already had to spend the night in your spare bed room I don't want to end up sleeping on the sofa."

"Really?" she couldn't believe Gerry was actually right.

"I must say breaking the headboard of the bed is impressive, so which one of you was handcuffed to the bed?" Gerry asked with a giant grin, saving Strickland from having to answer her glare.

"Gerry" Jack cried he had already heard more than he needed to.

"The headboard didn't break Gerry it shattered" she growled at him.

"If the headboard shattered you're lucky you didn't end up with some of it in some vital organs or the jugular vein Sandra" Brian finally said still thinking about the affects the accident could have had.

"That's why she ducked you idiot" Gerry told him.

"Did you get hit anywhere else?" he asked oblivious to the uncomfortable body language Sandra, Strickland, and Jack all had.

"My shoulder needed stitches as well" she said softly she really didn't want to be talking about this.

"Christ Sandra how many stitches did they give you?" Jack cried joining the conversation, he was now concerned again but for different reasons, Brian was right she was very lucky she didn't get hit someplace more life threatening.

"Enough of them Jack" she growled once more none of this was doing anything to improve her mood. In fact rehashing it was making it worse.

"You could have been seriously hurt" he told her in return, he sounded like he was scolding her and that was enough to send her over the edge once more.

"You think I don't know that Jack, it's not like I planned for the bed to break and the headboard to shatter into a million pieces nearly killing us. If the situation was not clear at the time spending the early morning hours watching a doctor remove pieces of wood embedded in my shoulder, hand, arms sure as hell made it clear" she yelled at him.

"Sandra forget the bed please" Strickland said putting a hand on her back, he was trying to calm her down so they could move beyond the whole incident. He was more concerned with her eating habits at the moment.

"The stitches make it hard to forget" she hissed lifting her hand for him to see, not that he needed to, he had watched the doctor stitch her up eight hours ago.

"We will spend the rest of the week at my place and then come the weekend we will go find the best made bed out there so this never happens again okay." He offered hoping her could make her feel better.

"I don't have much choice we can't sleep in the guest room forever" she huffed.

"Now how about lunch?" he asked hoping she was ready to be sensible now that the secret was out.

"That is pushing it" she glared at him, it wasn't easy to forget that they had broken the bed the night before.

"Jack are you three going out to lunch?" Strickland asked ignoring her response.

"We were heading to the pub when she refused to come." Jack told him trying to pretend he didn't see the death glare she was giving them.

"Do me a favor and bring her back a Caesar salad, I will work on improving her self-esteem." He promised them with a smile.

"You know I am sitting right here I can hear you." She told them folding her arms in front of her; she was beginning to feel like she wasn't the one in charge of her own team any more.

"Did you want something other than a salad?" He asked turning towards her.

"No that sounds good," she conceded softly.

"Great see you later lets go I'm starving" Brian said heading for the door.

"You better eat it" Jack told her as he too headed of the door.

"She will" Strickland called out after them.

"Still right here" she reminded him as they watched the three men exit the office but none of them acted as if they heard her.

"Finally alone, now how am I going to make you feel pretty and sexy once more." He said pulling her up and kissing her.

"Breaking my desk doing what you want to do isn't going to accomplish it." She warned him, she was too tired to do anything he was thinking anyway.

"I'm sure we'll think of something. Oh... you remember when you handcuffed me to the bed after you were almost shot?" He asked cautiously.

"Yeah?" she replied she knew she wasn't going to like where he was going with this.

"Well the headboard cracked a little bit then." He told her preparing himself for her enviable outburst.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" she asked with a sigh.

"No" he admitted.

"Christ there really is something wrong with you men."

"And yet you still love me."

"It's true I do. You know what I really want to do right now?" she asked him

"No idea but I am up for just about anything if it will make you feel better."

"I want to take a nice long nap on that sofa out there while the boys are gone." She said with a smile.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." He replied following her out into the bigger room. At this point sleep was better than just about anything else even sex.

A/N I hope you liked it I know it is a bit different from the other stories. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	26. Where There's Smoke

Where There's Smoke

"That fire alarm wasn't part of a drill was it? It just didn't go off by accident? Because we know there wasn't an actual fire." Strickland asked Sandra as they sat on the sofa together after dinner. He was watching a football match while she immersed herself in a magazine.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" she asked looking up from her reading material. She knew that he often looked the other way on many of the stunts her guys pulled but usually the less he knew the better.

"Yes I do," He replied more confident than he actually felt. He knew something was up and this time he wanted to know what it was.

"You have to promise not to do anything about it." She warned him, she didn't honestly think he would do much but she didn't need to hear it from the boys if Strickland decided to have a chat with them.

"I knew it. Gerry did it didn't he?" She gave him a look. "Yes, yes, I promise not to do anything." He sighed. He was smarter than that and he knew better. He knew how strong of a bond existed between Sandra and the boys and none of them not even Sandra would let it go if he said something.

"Of course it was Gerry." She told him with a smile. Her feet where resting in his lap and she stretch them a little. She was a surprised he even had to ask her, had she not been there she still would have known Gerry did it.

"Why the bloody hell did he do it?" he cried. He thought it was only stupid kids who went around pulling the fire alarm for no reason. Gerry knew better than that.

"For Jack" she replied simply.

"What does that mean exactly? Why would Gerry pull the fire alarm for Jack?" He asked her even more confused than he was when they started the conversation.

"Jack had no desire to get up and talk to another group of people, and certainly not a bunch of kids. I guess his talk didn't go so well the other day. Brian and Gerry had something to do with it but I'm not sure exactly what happened none of them will talk about it. But whatever happened Jack was not please with Brian and Gerry. I think Gerry was trying to make up for it." She had asked all three of them and they wouldn't tell her anything, not even Brian. She could usually count on him to let something slip but not this time.

"Pulling the fire alarm at the office is hardly the way to do it." He grumbled at her some times it really did feel like those three where over grown children.

"If I were you I wouldn't bother to asking Jack again. Brian's liable to actually burn down the place trying to help him." She warned picking her magazine back up from her lap.

"So what am I suppose to do with this information." He moaned he knew he shouldn't have asked he hated knowing things like this.

"Drink your beer and forget I ever said anything" she told him firmly.

"I think in this case you are right." He nodded in agreement he couldn't argue with her logic on this one.

"Not just in this case." She said smiling turning her attention back to her magazine once more. He chose not to comment because he didn't want to have to admit she was right about being right.

About an hour later the match was coming to an end and he surreptitiously looked over at Sandra. She was almost finished with her magazine. The timing was perfect he wanted to ask her something but he knew she wasn't exactly going to being receptive to the idea. Finally after mentally calling himself a coward a few times he just went for it.

"Sandra" he asked carefully, his tone more than her name caught her attention.

"Yes Robert" she replied looking up from her magazine giving him a questioning look.

"I…ah want to…um" he stumbled suddenly over come with nervousness. He always got this way when he wanted to talk about something she wouldn't like.

"Just say it Robert" she said with a laugh. She couldn't help but find him adorable when he got nervous.

"I want to ask you to do something that I know you won't want to do." He said quickly as if he where removing a bandage.

"I'm not sure what to say to that, if you know I won't want to do it then why exactly are you asking? Is this something to do with work?" She was stunned that he would come right out and say that.

"No Christ no I would never ask something like that at home, I know better."

"Then what could you possibly ask me to do?" She inquired confused as to what he wanted to ask her. She was beginning to worry a little bit.

"Just promise me you will think about it before you say no" he asked her taking her hand.

"Yes, yes, now just tell me what this is all about?" She snapped exasperated. He was not making her feel very comfortable.

"Come out with me on the boat again." He asked with a wince anticipating her negative reaction.

"What? Are you joking?" she practically yelled pulling her hand away. How could he possibly ask her something like that? To her his boat was evil and she wanted nothing to do with it.

"But-" he began but she cut him off.

"Have you forgotten what happened that last time?" she cried in shock. She would never be able to forget.

"You were pretty insistent that you didn't get sea sick you kept telling me it was a migraine." He reminded her hoping she would agree.

"So you want to try it again and prove me wrong?" she challenged. She felt no need to test her theory.

"No but every time I go out on the Last Minett and I'm alone I miss you. You're not there with me and I wish you were." He explained he was trying to be romantic but she clearly didn't see it that way.

"I know I'm usually here on the sofa enjoying a bottle of wine and not throwing up." She informed him folding her arms in front of her and glaring at him.

"But I want to be out there with you" he moaned. He got tired of being on the water alone he wanted to share the beautiful scene with her.

"You want to go sailing again with me and risk me getting sick and being miserable?" She asked him continuing to glaring at him she still couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yes" he said foolishly.

"Do you hate me that much?" she cried. It was not possible that the man she loved would put her through that again.

"No I love you and I like sailing and I want to do things I like with you." He tried to explain to her once more, he was asking her to do this because he loved her.

"I thought we agreed that sailing is a thing you do on your own and with the kids." She replied suddenly feeling exhausted at the thought of it all.

"Yes I know but I really want to take you back out." He took her hand once more hopeful when she didn't pull away.

"Again I ask, do you hate me that much?"

"No I just think you would really like it if…"

"If I don't throw up" she said finishing his thought for him.

"Yes" he answered softly.

"But if I do throw up it isn't going to be fun at all." She reminded him yet she already felt defeated he would beg and eventually she would give in.

"I think we can find a way to stop it. If you do get sick and it could be a big 'if' because you could be right and it was a migraine. But if you do start to feel sick at all you just take one of the motion sickness pills and you will be all better." He told her quickly he wanted her to know that he had thought this through it wasn't just a spur of the moment crazy idea.

"See that doesn't sound fun" she moaned.

"Please" he begged.

"Oh fine but I am doing this under protest." She almost couldn't believe she was agreeing to his stupid idea.

"But you'll come?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, on one condition" she warned him.

"Yes of course sure." He would agree to almost anything even going to see Les Mis again.

"If I do get sick again that's it no more, no third time's a charm, no more boats." She was willing to do this if only to prove him wrong and put an end to it once and for all.

"Yes of course just one more try" he promised her. That was all he wanted was one more chance.

"Then fine I will go with you" she agreed. She knew this would not go well but she clearly was the only one who thought so.

"I promise I will bring real food this time. So you won't get hungry and get a headache." He added he really had given this a lot of thought and was trying to prepare for everything.

"Are you trying to ensure I have plenty to throw up?" She moaned at the thought of getting sick on a full stomach.

"How about crackers?" he asked amending his thoughts.

"That will work" she agreed. She still thought the idea was terrible but she was willing to try for him.

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"I really thought the sea sickness pills would work." He commented holding her hair back as she threw up her lunch over the side of the boat. "I'm sorry." He tried to apologize but he could tell she wasn't about to accept it.

Once she was finally done being sick she slowly turned back around and slumped down on the seat breathing heavily. Her stomach was still unsettled but there was nothing left for her to throw up. She felt exhausted and in needed of a shower.

"Here drink this slowly." He suggested handing her a bottle of water. "You should probably take another pill." She nodded weakly and swallowed the pill he handed her. "I think you were supposed to take it before we got on the boat." He said sheepishly as he read the directions on the box.

"I hate you and I hate this boat." She growled glaring at him. She pushed him off the bench and proceeded to curl up. She knew from the previous trip that nothing she did would help so she did what her body wanted.

"I'm sorry I will take us back to the club. It may take a little while." He apologized to her, he felt terrible, she was sick and it was all his fault.

"Whatever, this sick feeling isn't going to go away once we get there any way." She moaned, she was furious at him for this whole mess.

"I really am so sorry." He bent down and brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her on the forehead."

"I am so mad at you right now." She growled closing her eyes desperately trying to shut out the water and the boat.

"I am so sorry." He said softly as he stood up.

"Never again" she replied angrily.

It took nearly forty minutes to get the yacht back to the club and some time along the way she managed to fall asleep. When they finally reached the dock rather than wake her immediately he let her sleep right there as he secured the boat and cleaned up. Once he was finished he bent down and woke her gently kissing her on the forehead once more.

"Sandra wake up its time to go home" he said softly.

"What?" she asked barely conscious as she opened her eyes just a little to look at him.

"We are back at the club it's time to go home you need to get up so we can get you to the car."

"Where?" she moaned her head hurt and she felt like she might be sick. She couldn't think straight her mind was all foggy and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"Come on let's sit you up" He said helping her sit up. "Good you ready to stand up?" He didn't want to rush her but he knew she would feel better once she got to the car.

"Yeah" she answered as she slowly stood up with his help. He very carefully helped her off the boat on to the dock. Together they made their way up to the car. Strickland had barely started the car and pulled out of the car park before she was once again asleep. He repeated the process once more when they made it home. He was able to get her upstairs and into the bed before she fell asleep.

He would have preferred to lay there next to her watching her sleep but he knew she would be less than pleased with him when she woke up and found him hovering. Instead he settled on the sofa with a beer and turned on golf. He decided to at least try and enjoy the rest of the day till she woke up and yelled at him. He felt horrible for what had put her through that afternoon but he honestly thought she would be alright this time. She had been convinced it wasn't sea sickness the last time and he had started to believe her. He should have known better, he was thankful that at least the motion sickness pill might have helped enough to put her to sleep. Yet he still felt terribly guilty for what she had gone through, his intentions might have been good but he still ended hurting her.

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A few hours later he heard the water turn on upstairs and it sounded to him that Sandra was awake and taking a shower. He hoped she felt better after her nap yet he didn't think a nap was enough to allow her to forgive him. He continued to sit on the sofa feeling like a condemned man as he waited for her to come down and yell at him.

He had to wait another half an hour before he heard her foot steps on the stairs. She was dressed in far more comfortable clothes than he left her in, her hair was wet and if he wasn't in trouble he would have been trying to get her back upstairs. She silently sat down next to him without saying a word.

"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously.

"Better, less like I threw up over the side of your boat." She replied without a hint of emotion making it impossible for him to know what she was thinking.

"That's good" he replied. He knew she was still upset but he didn't know what to do to make her feel better.

"Yes it is." She replied and they were both silent for a little while. Strickland decided to let Sandra take the lead if she was going to yell at him he was going to let her. "So I'm going to ask again, do you hate me that much?" She asked finally looking over at him. He was so on edge he jumped a little when she spoke to him. But he couldn't miss the look she was giving him. He would have felt better if she glared at him. Instead she still looked a little tired and she looked hurt. If possible he felt even more guilty.

"No of course not I love you." He cried taking her hand. She shot him a look and he quickly let go.

"Then you have a very funny way of showing it. I seem to remember telling you it was a bad idea and I didn't want to go." She shot back at him she couldn't understand why he hadn't listened to her in the first place instead he begged and pushed her into getting on that stupid boat.

"I know but you seemed so convinced that it wasn't sea sickness that I believed you and thought we could have fun." He tried to explain weakly, even to him it sounded like a pretty bad excuse.

"Well thank you for proving me wrong." She spat starting to get a little angry. The day would have been a lot nicer had he just left things as they were. They could have gone for a walk in the park or even had a picnic. Instead she ended up throwing up over the side of the boat.

"I am so sorry. I will never ask you again." He promised he didn't know what else to say to make her understand how sorry he was.

"That's good seeing as that was what we had agreed to in the first place" she replied dryly.

"You have every right to be mad at me but I really did think it would be different this time" he begged.

"So you said" she wasn't quite ready to forgive him just yet.

"I thought the motion sickness pills would have stopped it once you where feeling sick." It was the truth he really had wanted this trip to go well instead it fell apart right in front of him.

"Clearly not" she sighed at him.

"At least they managed to put you to sleep for the rest of the trip so you didn't get sick again."

"Yes lets be thankful for that small favor. Saved me from having to throw up overboard again. Do you think I like throwing up over the side of your boat?" She growled at him how could he thing she would be happy.

"No of course not" he professed he would never intentionally cause he to get sea sick.

"It is actually quite embarrassing" she cried angrily.

"You shouldn't feel embarrassed lots of people get sea sick." He told her he really didn't want her to feel embarrassed on top of everything else.

"It is embarrassing to be hanging over the side of a boat losing your lunch for everyone on the river to see. And you could get away with saying that after the first time it happened. But not this time not when you dragged me out there." To her great dismay a few tears escaped down her cheeks and she angrily wiped them away.

"I'm sorry I am so sorry. I honestly would never have put you through that again if I thought you would end up getting sick." He said frantically pulled her into his arms as he apologized, he felt terrible already and her tears only me him feel worse.

"Maybe next time you will listen to me." She replied softly but she didn't try to push him away she allowed herself to melt into his arms.

"I will I promise" he told her emphatically he would never do something like this to her every again.

"And don't you dare ask me to go on a boat with you ever again." She growled slightly pushing back so he was looking into her eyes.

"I won't I promise, what can I do to make this better, make you feel better? How is your stomach and your head?" He asked desperate to do anything he could to help her feel.

"They seem to be better, I think the three naps cleared it all up."

"Does that mean you are up for some real food for dinner? Whatever you want, curry, Chinese, pizza, I can even run down the road to that little place you like and get you some soup, tell me what you want and I will get it for you." He begged her he needed to do something.

"Well now that you mention it I could really go for a nice greasy pepperoni pizza." She told him with a big smile.

"You sure?" he asked a greasy pizza didn't sound like the best option after what she had been through.

"You said anything I wanted" she complained.

"Just checking that your stomach will enjoy it as much as you will." He asked her, he was willing to do whatever Sandra wanted he just didn't want to do anything to make the day worse.

"I'm good we're not on the boat anymore" she reminded him.

"As I said just double checking, your wish is my command." He replied flashing her a smile.

"My hero" she said sarcastically.

"While we wait I could always give you a back rub?" he offered. He was searching his mind for anything he could do to make it up to her.

"I threw up because of your boat I didn't get hit by it."

"Are you telling me your muscles aren't tight from all the stress you were put through today?" He said as he began to rub her shoulders. "Cause they feel very tight."

"I suppose my body has been through a lot today" she admitted to herself and him.

"I will go make the order, you go upstairs and get comfortable." He suggested as he stood up smiling at her.

"Alright but this is in no way going to lead to sex" she warned him.

"Of course not this is all about you relaxing" he replied. He honestly just wanted to help her relax and feel better. It was his fault she was in the condition she was.

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"How is it I say no sex and yet that is exactly what happens." She couldn't help but laugh. Even she had to agree she felt much more relaxed now.

"Seemed to me you changed your mind" he pointed out.

"Well you already had my clothes off and it felt quite good when you were rubbing that lotion on my back. It did seem like a waste not to" she admitted playfully.

"I completely agree" he sighed contently

"I don't think I have ever eaten pizza in bed naked before." She told him as she took a bite of her pepperoni pizza.

"I find it a great way to eat" he laughed as he ate his own.

"I'm not surprised, please don't get any grease on the sheets I don't want them stained." She warned him.

"Yes ma'am."

"While I will say the afternoon did not start off very well this evening has made up for it a bit." She told him as she ate, she was furious at him earlier but she was much calmer now.

"Does that mean I am forgiven?" he asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't go straight to forgiven, I am significantly less angry with you." She informed him with a smile.

"I was thinking we should do whatever you want tomorrow." He knew he needed to do something more to make it up to her for ruining her day. The best choice was simply to let her decided what she wanted to do.

"Anything?"

"Yes anything" he confirmed he was truly willing to do whatever she wanted he honestly felt that bad.

"Even shopping?"

"Yes even that" he said with a laugh.

"And you will hold my handbag if I need to try something one?"

"Yes I will" he agreed with a nod. He really didn't like having to hold her bag but he was willing to do even that it she wanted him to.

"It is the end of the season I bet I could find some boots on sale and then I could find some new sandals for the summer." She said thinking out loud her mind already determining which stores she wanted to visit with him the following day.

"If you want to" he said trying to sound excited.

"That could be a fun way to spend the day" she grinned at him.

"You are going to make it torture for me aren't you?" he whinged.

"Yes and yet it won't even come close to throwing up over the side of a boat in the middle of the Thames." She told firmly.

"That is true" he had to concur and a pang of guilt washed over him.

"Glad we agree."

"I really am sorry about today I never meant to put you through that." He told her taking her hand and kissing her palm.

"I know but please next time just listen to me" she asked him softly.

"I promise."

A/N I probably should have put a note on the previous story explaining it was one of the original add on that I wrong, it was the only one without Strickland's kids in so I hope I didn't confuse anyone. Thanks for reading and Reviewing.


	27. Coming Out Ball

Coming out Ball

"Sandra" Strickland called as he rushed into the house.

"In here" she called softly from her spot on the sofa.

"Why did I get a message from Jack telling me to get home asap that you were upset and he was slightly to blame." He asked breathing heavily as he found her in the living room.

"Jack is being nice it isn't his fault" she answered quietly.

He could see immediately that Jack was correct she was upset and normally when she was upset she yelled and got mad, but this was different she was far too quiet for his likening. She hadn't even turned on the TV, she had poured herself a glass of wine and was curled up on the sofa staring out the window.

"Not really the part I was focused on, why are you upset what happened?" He asked taking off his coat and sitting next to her on the sofa.

"I don't know if I really want to talk about it." She replied staring at her hands she wouldn't look at him.

"I can't help if you don't tell me" he countered pulling her closer to him she resisted a bit but finally she relented. "But if you don't want to talk about it then you don't have to." He kissed the side of her head.

"Jack convinced me to stop by my reunion and I'm sure you remember I told you I was a bitch back then. Well I was a huge bitch, I was horrible, the worst." She half cried she still didn't want to look at him.

"I take it that means the reunion didn't go well" he asked cautiously. Reunions were a minefield of bad memories and emotions he was surprised she had gone and he was not thrilled with Jack for convincing her to attend. He knew that her teenage years had been hard with her father not being around and fighting with her mother. It was not a great time for her and he would have preferred if the memories had stayed buried.

"You could say that" she then proceeded to tell him about the picture and her hasty retreat. After that she had just wanted to go home and crawl under a rock she didn't even want to stop for curry with Gerry and Brian. Once Jack had dropped her home she opened the nearest bottle of wine and prayed for a hole to swallow her up.

"It's not like I don't deserve it and if I could go back and change things I would" she moaned. She couldn't begin to explain how much she regretted the persons she was back then.

"Doesn't that tell you that you are no longer that person? Because you're not, you are one of the most caring people I know." He told her as he ran his hand up and down her arm trying calm her down. "You hate not being able to solve a case and it has nothing to do with your clean up record. You hate it because it means you can't bring justice to a victim and answers to their family. Everyone does terrible things when they are a teen I could sit here and tell you it has to do with an underdeveloped brain but I don't think it would help much. What is important is the person you are now not who you were." He continued hoping he was getting through to her even if it was just a little bit.

"I was just so angry all the time and I took it out on anyone I could." She tried to explain to him why she acted the way she did, she felt she needed to for some reason. She needed him to know why she had been a bitch.

"Because of your dad?" he asked already knowing the answer but he felt it was important for her to talk about it.

"Yeah, I can't even explain to you how horrible I was. I was so angry he was gone he was so important to me. I didn't know what to without him. I was so angry at the world. I hated the other kids because they still had their dads. And they actually stood there and tried to tell me it would be alright and they would be there for me. As if they could even imagine what it was like to suddenly not have a father. They got to go home to their perfect little family with both parents while I went home and fought with my mum." She told him and a few tears pooled in her eyes much to her dismay.

"Being a teenager is hard and you had to deal with the loss of parent you can't blame yourself for the way you grieved. Even if you were a horrible teen don't you think everything you have done since then makes up for your misplaced teenage anger?" he asked her. He hated to see he cry but he was at a loss as to what to say to make her feel better.

"Tell that to all those people I hurt back then, I'm sure they wouldn't agree with you." She snapped at him and immediately regretted it. She was angry at herself, she wasn't proud of the person she was back then and she wanted nothing more than to be able to re-write history. Yet the last thing she wanted to do was take her self-hatred out on him. He hadn't done anything except love her and try to make her feel better.

"I would tell them if I had gone with you. And they might have surprised you, I wouldn't have left until they saw the same wonderful caring beautiful woman that I see." He promised ignoring her tone.

"You are a little biased." She said quietly letting out a sigh.

"Only a little" he admitted with a smile.

"I just feel terrible, and there is nothing I can do …except drink" She sighed grabbing her wine glass and taking a large drink.

"Nothing I can do to make you feel better?" he asked as he wiped her tears away.

"Nope" she replied taking another sip.

"Not even if I told you what a prat I use to be? Some at the Met would say I still am." He was willing to try just about anything to cheer her up.

"That's just cause they don't know you, they don't know how nice and caring you can be." She told him honestly, she knew few people saw the real Robert Strickland.

"Yes, well it may surprise you I had quite the inflated ego. I was a rather good football player, pretty good looking or at least the girls seem to like me. I started to believe I was better than a lot of people. I acted superior to the other kids I got cocky and became a total ass. I didn't respect those around me teachers or students. And it didn't stop when I got to Sandhurst, how do you think I came to punch the wrong person? Thank god I did, knocked me down a peg or two." He had never told her any of this, he had tried to put his past behind him but he was willing to talk about it now if it would make her feel better.

"Well I'm glad you punched whoever it was you punched, who knows where you would be if you hadn't but it wouldn't be on the sofa with me. And just for the record you are still pretty good looking." She said finally giving him the smile he had been desperate to see.

"Everyone has scars from those days, some come care of another person and some are self inflicted. The goal is to not let those days define who you are. Since then you have spent all your time trying to make the city a better and safer place. That tells me you grew up and became a better person." He was going to keep trying till she wasn't feeling sad and angry any more.

"Ran out of anger to feed on is more like it," she admitted.

"Yeah maybe, and you are supposed to feel bad about what you did, how else are you going to grow and learn from your mistakes."

"How did you get that smart?" she asked finally relaxing into his arms.

"Well…those were the sentiments lectured to me before I was kicked out of Sandhurst. It was made clear to me that I was being giving a second chance I decidedly didn't deserved and that I had better shape up and take advantage of what I was being given, learn from my mistake and grow up. Except it was not delivered to me in such a nice way." He explained to her, the lecture had the desired effect of being seared in his mind.

He had barely accepted the second chance he was given at the time, he had plans and the police force was not in them, but he quickly learned how important the offer truly was.

"Lots of yelling?" she asked trying not to laugh.

"And fowl language, let's just say it made an impression and stuck with me."

"And changed you," she observed. She was right that event- his second chance had made him the person he was today.

"I still have my moments, just ask your boys." He knew what Gerry, Jack and Brian truly thought of him. Their whispered comments were less common in the years since he and Sandra had started their relationship but there were still moments.

"But when you do it, it is necessary, usually because one of them has done something stupid. And those three only seem to understand when you yell at them." She admitted to him, though she was unlikely to say that to her boys. "Old school methods I guess," she mused.

"That describes your team in most respects." He couldn't help but laugh, those three did like to do things their way.

"I wish the last few hours had never happened and I had just stayed at work and finished that damn paperwork." She sighed resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to say this one more time- you're not that person anymore. I love you, the guys love you, Hermione and Rufus love you, the person you were then should not and cannot define you. That is a hard time for anyone, you need to focus on all you have done and the fact that come Monday morning you will got to work, start a new case and work so hard to get justice and answers." He said firmly trying to convince her that what he said was true.

"I know what you're saying is right I just feel like shit, if I'm honest," she admitted.

"So are we spending the night wallowing?" he asked honestly.

"Maybe" she replied slightly embarrassed.

"Then I think I will need to run to the store because we are going to need more wine and ice cream I think, while I'm out I will get us curry for dinner. And whilst I'm gone you should pick an appropriate film for us to watch." He said letting go of her and standing up.

"Seriously?" she asked looking up at him in surprised.

"I love you and if you need to mope and sulk than that's what we're going to do." He explained to her he wanted to help her and he was willing to do whatever it took.

"You are too good for me" she told him with a small smile.

"That's just the wine talking" he said playfully.

"I love you" she said standing up next to him.

"I love you too" he replied taking her in his arms for a moment. "I'll be back in thirty" he told her pulling back.

"Thank you" she sighed giving him a kiss as he left.

He was right she wasn't that person anymore, but she wasn't ready to stop punishing herself for what she had done just yet. She would wallow tonight and tomorrow she would be back to her normal self.

A/N Thanks for reading. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those in Paris.


	28. Gloves Off

Gloves off

It was late and the boys had long gone off to the pub and yet Sandra was sitting at her desk staring down at the paperwork in front of her. She couldn't stop thinking about the row she just had with Jack.

Strickland found her in that exact position when he ventured down to find her. She hadn't heard him enter and he took advantage of the situation silently watching her work as he leaned against the door frame of her office door.

"You are very pretty when you're working." He informed her after he had been watching her for a while.

"Thank you" she said looking up from her paperwork and giving him a smile.

"Missed you at the pub" he told her, her absence was felt immediately and he took the first opportunity to come find her.

"I had enough talk about boxing" she commented giving him a look.

"Even now that you are done with your boxing case?" he asked smiling at her.

"Yep glad to be rid of it and all its wasted testosterone" her tone did not match his playful one and he knew she was displeased over something.

"I take it I have not succeeded in turning you into a fan even with your team and their proclivity for bust ups." He tried his hand at humor to cheer her up once more. She closed a case today got an arms dealer off the street she should be happy.

"Boxing is stupid, pointless, and unnecessarily brutal. Not to mention I usually let men get their testosterone and stupidity out and then yell at them works better." She growled making it clear she was not in the mood for his jokes and playful looks. She was tired of hearing all the virtues of beating the crap out of each other and calling it a sport.

"I see it does seem to work for you" he replied seriously.

"Because of this case I had Gerry punching Brian plus Jack and I have just had a nice big row. I could care less about boxing. You wanna beat each other's brains out, impair your ability to think for the rest of your lives go ahead, but don't claim there is anything gentlemanly about it." She knew she was ranting a little but she didn't care she had her fill of boxing and the world that went with it.

"But it's history," he tried to reason with her a little; though he had a feeling he was wasting his breath and risking her wrath at the same time.

"It comes just as much from the streets and dark alleys as it does from the hallowed halls of university." She reminded him.

"So I take it that you are not turned on by watching one bloke beat the living day lights out of another bloke." He joked trying to clear the slight air of hostility in the room once more.

"Nope sorry" she said flatly not raising to his attempts of humor yet again.

"Good thing I don't participate in the sport anymore" he mused clearly he wouldn't be showing off his boxing stance to her.

"Yes it is, though Brian said Ester likes a good fight you could go over there and try turning on the charm" she offered.

"Ester is very nice but I'll pass."

"Looks like boxing hasn't caused you too much brain damage," she said staring up at him, finally giving him the smile he had so badly wanted to see.

"Do you want to tell me about your fight with Jack?" He asked he had a feeling that her mood was a direct result of her argument with Jack. The older man had joined them in the pub shortly after they arrived, he appeared to be a bit upset. All he would say was that he and Sandra had words, he wouldn't tell them what it was about, but it did explain why she was missing.

"Not exactly," she told him looking back at the papers in front of her once more. If she told him what happened then he technically would have to do something about what Jack had done.

"Why?" he asked confused why neither of them wanted to talk about it

"Cause you are my boss and you won't be happy."

"Great I love it when you say things like that" he said sarcastically as he sat down on one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Okay hypothetical" she finally said biting her lower lip.

"Is it truly hypothetical?" he asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"I'm not answering that. So you have a really nasty bad guy in jail and a battered wife. The wife gives up the husband's illegal guns business. But to protect her you tell the husband that the guy in jail ratted him out knowing by the end of the day that the guy in jail will have a price on his head. Is that right?" She asked but she didn't give him time to answer she just kept on talking answering her own question.

"No matter how tempting that is, it is wrong. We can't take law and order into our own hands. Cause of course in this case it is for a good reason. But if you keep thinking you can do that than what's to stop you from making all kinds of decisions on your own about the guilt and innocence of people and what happens when you get it wrong?" She stopped to take a breath but he knew better than to say anything her questions were rhetorical ones.

"I know where it leads, it leads to a good cop covering up the death of a low life pimp even though it is self defense, because you have to cover up the other family you had on the side and if you told the truth there would be more questions. Isn't that the kind of stuff CIB sees all the time, the moment we think we know best and become judge jury and executioner then we are no better than the criminals were trying to put away. And Jack should know that he should understand that he's the one who taught me that. And then he has the nerve to say that if I think he gives a damn about the guy in jail than I don't know him at all, but that's just it this isn't the Jack I know or the one I thought I knew. Is it possible I never knew him?" She sighed dejectedly; she was more upset about this than he initially thought.

"All I can say is you are right and Jack is wrong, but you are never going to convince him of that because he clearly doesn't truly believe in the system any more. Though I guess you can't blame him given Hanson and all the other guys who got away." He didn't know what to say, he hated when things reminded her of her father and he was less than please to hear of Jack's actions. He had heard stories here and there about Jack not always playing by the rules, but then all three of her boys weren't the best at following the rules. He didn't want her image of her mentor tarnished so he kept what he could from her and most people still at the Met who knew Jack would rarely say a bad thing about him.

"But we ended up getting Hansen," she exhaled confused; she didn't know why Jack was acting like this.

"You may not want to hear this but I suspect Jack is feeling old and he believes too many good people have gotten hurt under his watch and he wants to set thing straight." He told her carefully, the last thing he wanted to do was upset her more.

"That doesn't make it any better" she moaned.

"Unless you plan on changing this from a hypothetical to a real conversation in my office, there isn't much I can do about it." He reminded her reluctantly.

"So I just have to live with it?" she cried.

"Unfortunately, unless you want me to say something to him hypothetically?" he asked knowing her response but he had to offer.

"No that's alright" she sighed once more dropping her pen on the desk.

"Come on then, let's go. Let me take you out to dinner." He offered standing up and come around to her side of the desk.

"How is it you never worry about people seeing us outside of work?" She asked accepting the hand he was holding out to her.

"Easy no one thinks you would ever go out with me. You are way out of my league." He told her pulling her close and kissing her. Normally they never kissed while at work, they tried not to show any displays of affection. It was safer that way, if they got in the habit then it increased the chances someone might see. But the work day was over and most people had left and kissing was hardly the worst thing they had done in her office after hours.

"Why would they think that?" she asked resting her head on his chest.

"Because you are, so if anyone sees you and me they think I forced you to have a working dinner with me. It is how we can keep this a secret and work together." He told her with a smile, he knew that was exactly what people thought. He had overheard a few people talking in the halls and that was the basic implication they made. It didn't bother him too much, it made it much easier for them to cover up their secret and he knew the truth. But part of him wanted to tell them how wrong they were.

"Well their all fools" she said flashing him a rather large smile.

"Yeah but I don't feel the need to correct them unless you want people to know?" He asked, he didn't let it bother him but if it bothered her then he would do whatever she wanted.

"No I like getting to work with you, I like our life, if everyone finds out everything will change, and I like having you all to myself you are my secret and I don't have to share my thoughts or feelings with anyone." He looked at her confused.

"You don't know how women think do you" she said with a laugh. "If people knew about us then they would ask question about how things were going all waiting for the moment things fall apart. That is what they do around this place they bet on how quickly a relationship will go belly up. I don't mind skipping all that, people talking behind my back, taking odds on whether our latest fight was the one that did us in. Not to mention the advice people give you and how freely they will tell you about their relationships because they know you are in one. No right now you are for me alone and I like it." She told him linking arms with him and resting her head on his shoulder.

"And that's why you won't marry me?" he asked

"Yes, you know work is the only reason why, you know how much I love you and a ring isn't going to change that. It won't make me love you any more or any less, I'm not going anywhere." She promised him.

"I know and I completely agree with you but I'm going to keep asking because one day you'll want to change all that. And then I can kiss you when we go out to dinner."

"Maybe one day but today I'm not looking to change anything. I've had enough changes right now. Let's go I'm starving." She couldn't keep the smile off her face. She couldn't help but feel lucky that she got to go home with him. He wouldn't stop trying all night until he knew she was feeling better. She couldn't imagine what her life would be life without him. And she meant what she told him a ring wouldn't change a thing. She loved him and their life together and she knew he was in it for the long haul as well.

A/N Thanks for reading and the reviews.


	29. The Fourth Man

The Fourth Man

The paperwork hadn't taken all that long especially between her and Jack. It was more an excuse to get away from going to the pub with that man. Sandra didn't need to be the next one in a bar fight. As a result the night ended up being one of the rare occasions where both she and Strickland got home at exactly the same time. She was in the house first and freed herself of her coat and handbag very quickly. The moment he was through the door she pushed him against it and attacked his lips with hers. In the process she managed to get his coat off throwing it to the floor. He was taken by surprise but quickly warmed to the turn of events.

He wasn't exactly sure what type of reception he would receive after yesterday's events; she had given him the silent treatment most of the previous evening. When he returned home last night she had eaten dinner without him and had moved on to a bottle of wine. He had tried to talk to her about what had happened with her team but she brushed him off. She told him she was not in the mood to talk to him, she then grab her glass of wine and the mostly full bottle and headed upstairs locking herself in the bathroom for over an hour. When she did finally emerge she wouldn't talk to him beyond one word answers and she made it clear she was ignoring him. He knew better than to even try to come up to bed and spent the night on the sofa unhappily.

He would have preferred yelling to her silence the previous night, but right now he was quite happy with the current reception he was receiving. He was suddenly having trouble thinking about anything other than having his way with her right there up against the front door. And as if to prove the point he managed to flip positions with her so she was now against the door. He picked her up and she easily wrapped her legs around him. He didn't remember how her shirt made its way to the floor but he did smile when she ripped his own shirt open popping buttons all over the place. He was working on her bra when some of his senses returned to him.

"Sandra maybe we should move up stairs or into the living room or the kitchen floor." He gasped somehow managing to get the words out. Her legs soon returned to the floor but she didn't stop kissing him. Together they managed to make it up the stairs without falling while losing the rest of their clothes and they crash landed on the bed.

"Not that I am in any way complaining but what has gotten into you?" He asked as she climbed on top of him.

"You were quite sexy while arresting Felsham." She responded between kisses.

"Really?" he asked.

"I have never been so turned on by watching someone being cautioned." She replied seductively in his ear. "It took all my control not to jump you right then and there."

"I'll have to remember to arrest more bent coppers in front of you." He said as a big smile spread across his face.

"Shut up and make love to me right now" she demanded pulling his lips to hers once more.

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"I know you must be hungry because I am famished. After that wonderful experience we had who wouldn't be? I would get us food but I don't think I can move right now." He told her as they lay in each other's arms a while later, he was still trying to catch his breath.

"Foods over rated" she panted.

"I want to talk about something though" he said pulling her close as they found a comfortable position.

"No we can't do that again tonight" she laughed as she pulled the covers around them, it was clear neither of them would be moving for a while.

"No not that, but thank you for thinking I could, I want you to come on holiday with me." He told her, he watched her face to gauge her reaction, but he didn't receive much.

"You what?" she said as she snuggled into him. Her eyes were now closed and she wasn't sure she heard him correctly.

"We haven't taken our annual leave yet and I want to go on holiday just you and me away from work and all the distractions that make us fight all the time. We have only ever gone away for short trips -long weekends. I want to go on a proper holiday with you a week maybe two if we can swing it. Somewhere nice and warm, maybe on a beach somewhere in France or Spain?" He explained to her, he had been thinking about this for a while and now seemed like the right time to ask her.

"You really want to do this what if without work we drive each other crazy?" Her eyes were open and she was now slightly propped up on her arm looking at him.

"I doubt that will happen" he said reassuring her.

"No golf" she told him firmly.

"No golfing I promise" he agreed with a smile, she was clearly warming to the idea.

"No boats" she continued, the last thing she wanted was to get sick on their holiday.

"Okay fine no boats" he quickly agreed to that condition as well.

"Just you and me, relaxing somewhere?" she asked, in her mind she was already envisioning them on a beautiful sunny beach a refreshing breeze blowing, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

"Maybe we could do some scuba diving?" He offered, after that case she had a few years ago he was desperate to go diving with her.

"Maybe we could" she said a smile creeping further on her lips.

"See doesn't this sound like a wonderful idea?" he asked. He could already see in her face that she thought it was.

"Yes it does" she confirmed with a large grin.

"A lot better than work" he added.

"A lot" she had to admit it was a really good idea. She began to wonder how soon they could go.

"So let's do it" he told her.

"Yes let's" she agreed happily.

"One rule" he told her.

"Okay?" she asked curious as what to his one rule would be.

"No thoughts of home, no calling to check on the guys" he said firmly.

"That goes both ways you know." She reminded him, he was just as guilty as focusing on work outside of work.

"I promise I won't even begin to think about work while we're gone" he informed her leaning over and kissing her.

"Good cause you are the only one I'll be thinking about" she countered kissing him back.

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"You know I did ask you if you had lotion on before you fell asleep and you lied." Sandra said looking down at Strickland; he was lying on their soft hotel bed looking miserable. She gave him a stare that told him she was not pleased with his actions and she wasn't about to feel sorry for him.

"Yes but the good news is the scuba diving felt very nice on my burnt skin." He told her flashing a giant smile her way.

"Not surprising" she replied as she sat down on the bed next to him.

"My skin isn't too bad" he said tying to down play the harm the sun had done to him earlier that day.

"Your stomach still looks like a tomato" she scoffed, he was either lying or delusional. He had foolishly let his stomach and other extremities get burnt to a crisp on the first day of their holiday. She was less than pleased with him to say the least.

"Well I'm sure we can have fun with the aloe." He said trying to give her a seductive look but she wasn't giving into at all.

"You think so?" She asked and then proceeded to place her hand on his bright red stomach.

"Ow!" he cried out.

"That's what I thought" she told him with a satisfied look that said 'I told you so'.

"I never thought I would say this to you but don't touch me." He whinged, he couldn't imagine that her touching him could ever produce so much pain.

"What was it you were saying about aloe and fun?" she asked the knowing look still on her face.

"What I meant to say was we can have lots of fun staying on our own side of the bed and not touching." He told her, he sounded miserable and she couldn't help but feel a bit bad for him ever if he did bring it on himself.

"Yeah" she sighed; this was not how she had expected their holiday to go.

"Maybe we can find a deck of cards" he suggested trying to find something for them to do.

"Oh yes because that is exactly what this holiday is missing, playing cards. I might as well as gone on holiday with Gerry, Jack, and Brian. At least Brian would have probably had a travel chess set or something more than just cards." She exclaimed there was no way in hell that they were going to end up playing cards on her romantic holiday.

"Hey I will put aloe on tonight and tomorrow I will be good to go." He promised her taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. She nodded and rested her head on his shoulder causing him to cry out in pain once more.

"Sorry" she immediately removed it but she couldn't help rolling her eyes at how foolish he had been.

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"According to the internet it could take a few days for the redness and swelling to go down." He told her looking over at her from his place in front of the computer, this time she was the one lying on the hotel bed.

"Great. All I did was go for a swim" she moaned, her leg still stinging with pain and it was doing nothing to improve her mood.

"That is generally how one gets stung by a jellyfish." He pointed out with a smile thought it was not returned.

"Thanks Sherlock you should work for the police with deduction skills like that." She replied sarcastically she was not in the mood for any of this, she was grumpy and all she wanted was to relax.

"Ha ha. This is interesting apparently jellyfish live everywhere fresh water, salt water, even in some lakes." He informed her as he continued to read the information on the internet.

"Robert if you don't tell me something useful on how to make it stop hurting I will kill you and feed you to those jellyfish." She growled at him her frustration was reaching a new level.

"I know you're in pain but you don't have to threaten violence." She just glared at him and he wisely continued to read. "The only thing to do is exactly what they told us at the front desk. Antihistamines that is all that will help." He told her quickly, he knew that wasn't what she wanted to her.

"Great cause it isn't working at all" she complained to him once more.

"Well have some of my scotch that should help." He suggested getting up and walking over to the bed, he held out his glass to her.

"I thought they said alcohol was bad for it?" she asked eyeing the glass.

"They meant don't pour it on the sting they weren't talking about drinking it." He explained to her pushing the glass even closer with an encouraging smile. She gladly accepted the glass this time.

"In that case" she said downing his entire glass. It burned liked hell as it went down her throat which was a welcome distraction from the pain in her leg. "Why would anyone waste alcohol by pouring it on the sting." She wondered as she handed the empty glass back to him.

"Hey I wanted some of that" he moaned as he set the empty glass down and then sat down on the bed next to her.

"I'm the one in pain" she reminded him.

"I'm in pain too my stomach is still burned" he countered.

"That was self inflicted" she replied.

"Was not" he objected.

"And what would you call falling asleep under the blazing hot sun with no sun tan lotion on?" She questioned him with a strong glare.

"An accident?" he said weakly.

"Not when your very loving girlfriend asks you if you are properly protected and you lied." She reminded him with a look that told him she was right.

"That feels like semantics" he moaned.

"No it isn't its stupidity. I in the other hand was attacked by a vicious animal." She complained looking at her leg.

"I don't think anything lacking a skeletal system can be vicious" he replied.

"Look at these marks and tell me that I wasn't viciously attacked" she growled at him.

"You're right sorry" he said throwing his hands up in surrender and giving in to her, she was hurt after all.

"Damn straight" she exclaimed crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well since we can't very well go out-" he started.

"Without looking like the walking wounded" she said finishing his thought.

"Exactly, so why don't we lay in bed call for room service and watch a film." He suggested hopefully as he looked over at her.

"I guess that could work" she replied slowly agreeing with him.

"Why don't you find us something to watch while I get us some dinner?" He asked standing up and heading toward the phone.

"No seafood for me please I am done with ocean life for right now." She requested the thought was enough to turn her stomach.

"How about a chicken Caesar salad?" he asked hoping that would be more to her liking.

"Perfect" she replied with a smile.

"Don't move" he joked as he headed out to place the call.

"Not much of an option" she called after him.

"Sorry" he called back to her.

He came back in the room five minutes later to tell her he had ordered them a large bottle of white wine to go with dinner, to hopefully help her leg and her mood. Instead he found her fast asleep.

"Antihistamines and scotch" he said shaking his head. "Guess it is dinner for one." He added with a sigh as he sat down on the bed next to her sleeping body.

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"This is beautiful." Sandra said as they sat on the beach watching the sunset, Strickland's arms where wrapped around her and her back was resting against his chest.

"It certainly is, and the best part is that you're sitting here in my arms watching it with me."

"That's funny because I feel the same way." She replied turning slightly in his arms so that she could kiss him.

"Umm you know once the sun goes down no one would be able to see us we could always you know have some fun here on the beach. Kill two fantasies with one stone." He offered as he peppered her bear neck with kisses.

"Which two?" she asked curious.

"Sex on the beach and sex in public" he replied as he slowly continued to kiss her neck and shoulders.

"Those must be your fantasies cause they are certainly not mine." She told him resisting the desire his kisses where creating in her.

"According to those girly magazines you read all women seem to have those fantasies." He informed her, he changed tactics and began massaging her neck and shoulders now.

"Are you saying I'm just like every other woman?" she asked in a slightly put out tone.

"Absolutely not, there is no other woman like you. There is only one Sandra Pullman and though it amazes me every day she is mine." He said and she couldn't help but marvel at how good he was at sweet talking her. Yet deep down she knew he meant every word he said and she loved him for it. No man had ever made her feel the way he did. No man had been so keen on taking care of her but so willing to let her be the independent woman she was. She loved him more than she had ever loved any other man and she was perfectly content sitting with him by the water watching the sun set. More relaxed than she had been in a very long time.

"That is very sweet but I'm still not having sex with you on the beach." She informed him, she may love him but there were limits even she had, sex on beach was one of them.

"Why not scared of getting caught" he teased her.

"No you want to know what my concern is?" she asked less playful than he had expected.

"I'm dying to know" he asked curious.

"The sand- that's my concern" she answered in a matter of fact tone.

"The sand?" he questioned confused.

"Yes the sand. It has a way of finding every little crevasse when it gets stuck on you and there are certain places where I don't want sand anywhere near. I'm sure you can imagine." She informed him, she could only envision how badly sex on the beach would end up. There were just some things better left on the pages of romance novels and films, real life had a habit of being a lot messier.

"Oh yeah that wouldn't be good." He sighed, he hadn't been thinking about the practical elements to sex right where they were.

"No and with the week we've been having I don't want to risk getting arrested for public nudity especially after dark." She said reminding him of the fact that it wasn't exactly legal to do what he was suggesting. Their holiday hadn't been going exactly as planned so far and it was best not to tempt fate.

"That would be rather awkward to explain once we got home." He added scratching his head.

"Yeah" she remarked with a hallow laugh.

"Though things haven't been that bad after the sun burn and the jellyfish incident" he reminded her all in all he thought they had been having a lovely time.

"What about you opening that bottle of Champagne and almost taking your eye out?" She asked not hours earlier his romantic gesture of champagne almost sent them to the hospital.

"Yeah well that's getting a little nit-picky that could have happened back home." He countered, he had never had trouble with a bottle of bubbly before but he chalked it up to the heat and humidity.

"It hasn't yet" she threw out.

"Well we don't drink champagne at home very often" he pointed out.

"Maybe we should change that give you more practice opening the bottle?" she offered with a smile. She liked the idea of drinking champagne with him more often.

"Now that is an idea I can get behind" he agreed with a hardy laugh.

"I have another one if you want to hear?" she asked as she snuggled deep into his arms.

"Oh I'm all ears" he said laughing again, though he really did want to hear her thoughts.

"I say once the sun is done with its beautiful show we go back up to the room and have some fun in bed without the sun or the sand." It was her turn to send him a seductive look.

"You are on a roll with the good ideas. I am so glad we chose the later scuba diving time tomorrow." He had returned to peppering her exposed skin with kisses.

"I told you" she reminded him.

"Yes you did, you have such good ideas." He twisted her around in his lap and began kissing her.

"Don't you forget it" she said kissing him again. "I mean it don't you forget it once we get home" she told him in a serious tone.

"I will try so very hard." He laughed once more before he turned all his attention to kissing her properly. This was turning out to be one of the best holidays he had even taken.

A/N Hope you all enjoyed the chapter I must admit it is one of my favorites makes me wish I was on beach right now. Thanks for Reading and for the reviews.


	30. Old Fossils

Old Fossils

"Maybe we should take Mione and Roo to the natural history museum." Strickland knew Sandra's recent case at the museum had rubbed her the wrong way and he couldn't resist teasing her a little.

"You can count me out, I have spent quite enough time in that place. And I think they would prefer to not see me there for a while if ever again." Then she noticed the mischievous look he was wearing. "You're just having me on aren't you?" She gave him a glare. They were in the kitchen cleaning up the remains of dinner and she was tempting to throw the tea towel she was holding at him.

"Yes I am" he laughed.

"Very funny" she said flatly as she swatting him with the towel and he laughed more as he avoided it. He retreated to the safety of the table to collect the dirty dishes.

"Though in all honesty maybe I should be a responsible parent and take them to a museum. What do you think of the science museum?" He asked as he loaded the dirty dishes and silverware into the dishwasher.

"Honestly?" she asked watching him.

"Yes" he replied as he moved to grab the detergent from under the sink.

"I think they will like it a lot more, from what I hear it is much more interactive. Plus you can then avoid all the scientist and the cheating husbands and cooperate cover ups." She told him as she thought of all the deceit hiding behind museum walls.

"Careful don't describe it that way or the kids will absolutely want to go." He warned her, knowing his kids If Sandra described the museum that way they would all but demand to go.

"Don't worry I wouldn't dare tell them any details of this case. I will on the other hand tell them that the giant dinosaur in the lobby is a fake, that should prevent them from ever wanting to go."

"It's a fake?" he cried as if he was finding his whole childhood was built on a lie.

"Yep it's a copy of one the American's have" she informed him.

"How devious of them I loved that dinosaur when I was a kid" he moaned as he sat down on the chairs now depressed that his childhood love was a lie.

"That doesn't make your love and enjoyment of it any less real" she told him coming to stand in front of him she began to run her fingers through his hair massaging his scalp.

"I suppose you're right but still to find out it's a copy" He sighed leaning into her touch which felt so wonderful on his head.

"I say all the more reason not to take the kids there." She replied leaning down to kiss him.

"Speaking of the kids" he said trying to focus on the important question he had to ask her.

"Why do I always end up hating conversations that start with those words? Maybe because they are always followed by I need a favor." She said pulling her hands away and he missed the contact immediately.

"I need a favor" he replied with a very guilty look on his face.

"I must be psychic. Okay what is it?" She asked trying hard not to laugh; they both knew she wasn't likely to say no.

"Not that big of a favor I promise. Next Friday the kids have the day off from school and they are supposed to go to the birthday party for a family friend. Helen is going to drop them off and then she is leaving for a holiday in Scotland. I am picking the kids up after work." He explained, in all honesty if he didn't have to be at work he would have taken the day off and just had them skip the party but it wasn't an option. He had to work so they needed someplace to be and someone to watch them.

"So far I'm not hearing a favor not that I'm complaining." She couldn't hold the laugh back, he was stalling which was silly they both knew she would agree to whatever he needed.

"I have to be in highly sensitive meetings all day no mobile. So the favor I need is for you to be a sort of emergency contact for them if anything should happen. Not that I expect anything to happen nothing ever does but just to be safe." He rushed the last part out and she was confused as to why he had been worried about asking her.

"Of course I will. I'm sure some how this will end with Hermione throwing up all over me this time which would actually upset her more than it did Rufus." she joked trying to reassure him that she wasn't too concerned about it. It wasn't as if this was the first time she would be responsible for his children they had been together for over three years nearly four. She began playing with his hair once more hoping to show him that his request was nothing to worry about.

"Really I promise nothing ever happens at these parties there are adults all around drinking I will add but still around." He told her with a smile and the renewed physical contact felt wonderful. The alcohol was how he made it through all those parties. He really didn't like the other parents all that much but Helen did and the kids seemed to have fun so he made sure to play nice with all the other dads.

"See those sounds like famous last words, you know now that you said that your son or your daughter will end up starting a huge fight all because you said nothing will happen." She teased him all the while hoping nothing would actually happen.

"Well then who best to pick them up but a police officer? If that does happen you have my permission to take some uniforms with you and scare the crap out of them." He said with a devious smile just imagining how his children would react to that, Roo would have too much fun with uniforms he decided shaking his head.

"As entertaining as that would be I'll just bring Gerry, Jack, and Brian and let them complain about life, when they get going they will either bore them or scare them out of their minds."

"That will do it. Honestly thank you for being willing to do this." He said pulling her on to his lap.

"After everything how could you think I would say no?" she questioned.

"I keep waiting for you to come to your sense and run far away from me." He told her as he began to kiss her.

"Never going to happen" she replied kissing him back with enthusiasm. "Now why don't we move over to the sofa and see what we can find on the TV?"

"Sounds perfect. You do know how much I love you don't you?" He asked suddenly he felt it was important to make sure she really did know all joking aside.

"About as much as I love you?" she replied smiling at him. It still amazed her sometimes how good her life with him really was.

"That seems about right though I think I might love you just a little more" he said playfully as he kissed her again.

"Not possible I love you more it's a fact." She told him firmly.

"Is that so? That doesn't seem right" he continued laughing a little.

"Well it is the truth now come one let move, the sofa is far more comfortable than this chair we are both sharing." She answered standing up.

"Now that is a true statement" he agreed standing up and following her to the sofa. "I am willing to let you win this agreement because I love you so much."

"And because I love you even more I am going to allow you to let me win" she shot back with a grin.

"Okay you really can win because that one made even my head spin." He said as they sat down.

"Thank you, now what should we watch?" she asked him as she snuggled close to him. She had decided long ago there was no better way to end the day than curled up with him.

A/N Thanks for reading and for the lovely review.


	31. Birthday Party Surprises

A/N This is another stand alone story building of the last chapter, enjoy!

Birthday Party Surprises

"Ms. Pullman?" A nervous voice asked as Sandra answered her phone.

"Yes?" She replied confused by the unknown voice.

"This is Marie Lassiter; Bernard and Phoebe's mum." The woman informed her but Sandra still had no idea who the woman was.

"Yes?" She said confused until suddenly the light bulb went off in her head. "Oh the Birthday party yes, is everything alright?" She was immediately concerned all the possible issues immediately ran through her mind.

"Not exactly, I tried to get a hold of Robert and Helen but neither responded and they gave me your number in case something happened." Marie told her, Sandra already knew the two were unavailable but she resisted the urge to snap at the woman.

"What's happened?" a wave of panic was starting to flood her mind. Someone would only be calling her if the kids were hurt, in serious trouble, or both.

"It's Rufus" was all she got as a reply.

"Is he alright?" Sandra was starting to lose her patients with this woman and her unnecessary version of twenty questions.

"Yes he is alright but he is going to need a trip to A&E." The nervousness in the woman's voice increased tenfold.

"A&E why?" Sandra cried out, it was only a birthday party nothing serious was supposed to happen Strickland promised her. She wanted to know what happened and she wanted to know right now.

"Rufus and the other boys were playing around and he fell out of a tree I fear he may have broken his arm." The woman told her clearly, Sandra's response had only made Marie more nervous as the words came out quickly.

"His arm?" She asked trying to process what the woman was telling her.

"Yes but the rest of him seems fine no head injuries or anything like that. Ah... would it be possible for you to come get him?" the woman requested.

"Yes of course" Sandra promise and Marie quickly gave her the address. The first thing Sandra could find was a napkin and she wrote the address down on it.

"I will be there as soon as I can." She said hanging up the phone. When she looked up she found three pairs of eyes staring at her.

"What's happened?" Jack asked. They were having an early lunch at the pub while going over their latest case when the call interrupted their discussion.

"Rufus fell out of a tree and broke his arm and now I need to go get him and take him to the hospital." She said panicking fear continuing to rise in her as she said it.

"Calm down kids break bones all the time." Gerry assured her trying to quell the anxiety he could see was over taking his boss and friend.

"Not mine." She snapped and then stopped when she realized what she had said. "I mean not when I am responsible for them."

The three men let her slip go though they knew her explanation didn't exactly ring true.

"Where is Strickland?" Jack asked.

"He is in highly sensitive meetings with the commissioner and their mum is on her way to Scotland. So it is just me. I have to go; Brian can you get me to this address, my satnav isn't working?" She asked pointing to the info she had scribbled on her napkin.

"Yeah of course" he replied looking at the address.

"Good cause I have no idea where I'm going. You two keep working on the case." She told Jack and Gerry as she fumbled with her coat and handbag.

"You need to calm down, don't speed, you won't do the little guy any good if you are in an accident on the way." Gerry tried once more to get her to relax.

"I know you're right" she agreed taking a deep breath for a moment. Once she was satisfied that her heart rate was closer to normal she knew it was time to go. "See you later." She called as she and Brian rushed out of the pub.

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It took Sandra and Brian almost twenty minutes to get to the party. During the drive her anxiety had only grown and the afternoon traffic only added to her growing frustration. Brian had tried a little to calm her but he didn't know exactly what to say so instead he focused on giving her directions, it was the only productive thing he could do.

Once she was parked in the Lassiter's drive she finally let out the breath she had been holding the entire drive.

"I'll stay here" Brian told her as she got of the car. He had figured she didn't need him and social situations like these were not his forte. Sandra nodded and quickly headed towards the front door. The sooner she could see for herself that Roo was reasonably okay the sooner she could breath normally again.

She knocked on the door and a few seconds later Marie answered the door. The woman introduced herself first but to Sandra's relief she quickly directed her to the living room sofa where she found Rufus cradling his arm, his eyes were red, clearly he had been crying. Hermione sat next to her brother trying to make him laugh and distract him from the pain. Her heart broke a little for the boy he looked miserable.

"Rufus" she cried rushing toward the sofa.

"Sandra" he moaned he took one look at her and started to cry again.

"We tried to keep him from moving it too much." Marie informed her from somewhere behind her amongst a gaggle of parents whom Sandra was currently ignoring.

"Thank you" she replied automatically as she knelt down in front of the crying boy. "Roo its okay I know it hurts but we'll get you fixed up and right as rain okay." She assured him as she wiped away some of his tears. He nodded and she helped him stand up without a word. Hermione ran over and grabbed both their bags.

"Hermione is welcome to stay if she wants" Marie offered. Sandra looked towards the girl making it clear it was her choice, she had expected the teen would want to stay. Instead Hermione closed the distance between them quickly coming to stand by her brother.

"I would rather go with you and Roo" she said quietly.

"That's fine" she told Mione with a smile. "Thank you Mrs. Lassiter for everything." Sandra said politely to the woman even though she wanted to yell at her for letting Rufus get hurt. Instead she directed both children towards the door. The sooner they were out of this house the better she would feel.

"Oh you're welcome I'm so sorry about this." The woman replied walking them out.

"I have been told this is all too common in children. So please don't worry about it." Sandra assured the woman said as they left the house. She was lying through her teeth she wanted to be furious at this woman for letting something this serious happen to the little boy. She didn't care what Gerry said about boys always getting hurt. She did not like that idea of either of the two children getting hurt, and she really hated the idea of having to take one of them to A&E. While trying to contain her rage at these so called parents she managed to lead both children into the back seat of her car.

"Hi Brian" Hermione said as the man got out to help her into the car.

"Hello Hermione, how are you?" he asked cheerfully.

"I'm good thanks to Roo falling out of a tree I get out of that party." She told him as a big smile spread across her face.

"I knew something was up, okay spill it why didn't you want to stay and play with your friends?" Sandra asked as she backed the car out of the drive.

"They aren't my friends; their parents are friends with mum and dad. Or they were its kinda like neither of them wanted these friends in the divorce. So we get packed off to their kid's birthday parties and I have to listen to those stuck up girls." She complained to the car's occupants.

"I like playing with the boys" Roo commented.

"Yes clearly you were having fun" Sandra replied as she drove to the hospital as Brian thankfully provided her with directions. In between he continued to ask the children questions.

"How is your arm Rufus?"

"It hurts a lot I'm trying really hard not to move it." Sandra could see the little boy wince in her mirror.

"That's good we'll get you to hospital and the doctors will x-ray it and get you a nice cast." She informed him, she hoped traffic would let up, the sooner they got to A&E the sooner Roo would feel better and in turn the sooner she would feel better.

"That could be kinda cool, where's dad?" he asked Sandra.

"He is stuck in a meeting so you are stuck with me." She said trying to be funny, she could tell by the sound of his voice that he wanted his father. She knew she was a poor substitute but there wasn't much she could do about it right now. She hadn't even had time to text Robert, not that he would be able to respond, he told her his phone would be off for most of the day.

"I would hardly say we are stuck with you" Hermione laughed.

"Yeah you're awesome much better than all the other mums at the party." Rufus added with a smile.

"Thanks you guys that is really sweet." She told them, she was truly touched that they felt that way about her. "Okay so when we get to A&E I don't know how long it will take for the doctors to check Roo out and get him all fixed up. So Brian if you wouldn't mind taking Hermione back to UCOS and keep an eye on her till Roo and I get back or their dad is done with his meeting. There is a tube stop right by the hospital." She told the three occupants as she attempted to find a parking spot.

"The Tube?" Brian questioned her, he was not a fan of public transportation.

"I love the tube, that sounds great" the teenager squealed and Brian could hardly argue.

"Good" Sandra said with a smile. She knew Hermione would make sure they got back to the office safely and that only left Roo to look after.

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Two and half hours later Sandra and Rufus slowly came walking into the UCOS office. The boy looked tired and Sandra directed him straight to the red sofa. She took his coat and bag and put them on the nearby chair with her coat and handbag. She sat down on the sofa next to him and he curled up into her. She began running her hand through is hair as she looked around the office.

"How did it go?" Jack asked once they were sitting down.

"As well as it could have. He fractured his humorous bone which is the big one in the arm so he got this loved full arm cast. They gave him something for the pain and it seems to have made him sleepy." She said looking down at the dozing boy. "How was the tube ride back Brian?"

"Quite enjoyable actually" he answered her happily, much to her surprise, she had a feeling the nearby teen was the real reason for the positive account.

"It was awesome" Hermione added, she was sitting next to Brian at his desk and they were doing something on his computer.

"Well that's good. And how did you two get on?" She asked Jack and Gerry.

"You may want to have a look at this" Gerry replied grinning as he handed her a file. He shot a glance between the two children indicating that the information was not appropriated for their young ears.

"Thank you, I will look at this in one minute. You haven't heard anything from their dad have you?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"No sorry" Jack replied.

"It's okay I didn't expect him to be out yet" She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick texted, making it clear that he needed to get down here the moment his meeting was done. She then turned her attention to the file Gerry had handed her. As she sat there reading, she suddenly realized how tired she was.

"This is great Gerry exactly what we needed." She said trying to stay awake.

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Sandra hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep reading the file until she woke to Hermione talking excitedly.

"This is so much better than being stuck at that stupid party with those stuffy girls."

"We're better than a bunch of teenage girls?" Jack asked confused it was the first time anyone under the age of forty had made such a comment.

"Yeah you guys are so cool all this police stuff is super interesting. It defiantly beats a bunch of girls basically arguing over who is prettier. And they all look down on me." She complained to the three men.

"Why would they do that?" Brian asked naïvely.

"Well first they all go to the same school and I go to a different one." The girl began to explain the world to teenage girls.

"I thought you grew up together?" Gerry asked.

"Only at these stupid birthday parties. And it's fine when you're a kid like Rufus you'll play with anyone but once you get older the more different you are the worse it gets. Plus my parents are divorced and theirs aren't that makes them think they are way better than me. Too bad they didn't see how awesome Sandra is then they might have actually been jealous." Her face lit up as the idea of showing up the girls she despised.

"Have you told your parents you don't like going to these parties?" Jack questioned her.

"I told mum I didn't want to go but she didn't really care which is such bullocks because she certainly doesn't spend time with any of those people any more so why should I have to." The girl pouted a little.

Jack looked over at Sandra and noticed that she was now awake. She nodded at Jack telling him she would bring this up to Strickland late.

As if on cue the man in question came bursting through the door causing her to sit up and Rufus to wake up.

"What happened?" He bellowed breathing hard as he came to a stop in the middle of the room looking around. The occupants all stared back at him silently for a minute.

"I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. Sandra and me went to hospital to get my cast. Where have you been?" Rufus growled before Sandra could even get a word out. The boy's response took everyone by surprise.

"I was…ah… in a meeting, I'm sorry." Strickland replied taking aback by the anger in his son's voice. The boy only continued to glare at him and he immediately felt terrible for not being there when Rufus needed him.

"Why don't we go home? I'm sure everyone is a little hungry and tired." Sandra suggested trying to defuse the situation this was not the place to have a family argument.

"Yeah" the three older men eagerly agreed with her, but her comments were truly directed at Rufus.

"Okay" Roo said and Sandra helped him up, once he was on his feet he continued to lean against her. He was clearly still tried from the drugs and his ordeal hours earlier.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea" Strickland added he was at a loss, he didn't' know how to make the whole situation better, he felt useless and he hated feeling useless. "Hermione why don't you get your stuff together?" he suggested.

"Yeah sure, thanks Brian for showing me all that cool stuff." Brian smiled at her in response. "And thanks Gerry and Jack I had a great afternoon." She called out as she threw her stuff in her bag.

"I guess the only question left is what should we have for dinner?" Strickland asked shooting a big smile in his son's direction. But to his dismay they boy didn't respond.

"I think Roo should get to choose given the afternoon he's been thought. What would you like for dinner?" She asked looking down at him.

"Pizza" he replied smiling for the first time since he woke up.

"Sounds good to me" Sandra said smiling back at him.

"As soon as we get home I'll order it" Strickland promised as he took his daughter's bag for her. If he couldn't do anything to make his son happy he could at least help his daughter with her bag.

"Can I go with you?" Rufus asked Sandra continuing to ignore his father.

"I have to run to my place first" She informed him. "Are you sure you don't want to go with your dad and go straight home?" Sandra was a bit surprised by his clinginess but it has been a trying day and she was quite willing to indulge him.

"I wanna stay with you" the boy whined. Sandra looked over at Strickland, who nodded despite the pained look on his face.

"Right, then we will meet you at your place" she told him.

"See you there" he said as he and Hermione walked out the door.

"You three have a good weekend. Thank you for everything today." Sandra said looking at the men around the office. She didn't know what she would do without them and she hoped not to find out anytime soon. She then grabbed Rufus' coat and helped him into it. She put her coat on and picked up her handbag along with the boy's bag and headed out.

Rufus was almost completely silent during the whole trip to her house. Once inside he did little more than stand in her kitchen while she grabbed her things. Usually Sandra and Strickland came home to her place at night, it had become their home. When it was his weekend with the kids they shifted to his flat. It was where the two children were use to going and was familiar to them not to mention all their stuff was currently there. Strickland felt it was easier on the kids if they continued to stay at his place instead of picking up and shifting to her house. At first she had stayed at her place while he stayed at his with the kids, but recently she had started staying over there with them. Rufus and Hermione had begun to question why she always left at night. They were old enough to understand that she and their dad were in a relationship. And after three years they found it strange that she went home every night. The problem was she kept nothing at his place and he kept only a small amount of his clothes there. This meant each time Hermione and Rufus came to stay she had to pack a bag.

"Rufus are you alright?" Sandra asked joining him in the kitchen once she had everything packed.

"Yeah" he said quietly, leaning against her once more.

"Are you sure sweetheart?"

"Yes I'm hungry" he told her.

"Well hopefully by the time we get there your dad will have a nice hot pizza waiting for you." She replied giving him an encouraging smile.

"Yeah?" his eyes lit up at the thought and she nodded to him.

"Does your arm hurt?" she was worried his withdrawn behavior was a result of his painful broken arm and he just wasn't telling her.

"A little" he said looking down at his neon green cast.

"Well let's get you home and fed. I'm sure you will feel better then." She tried to assure him and he nodded but it didn't appear to actually agree. She then knelt down so she could look directly at him. "You know your dad wanted to be there with you while you got your cast right? He just got stuck in a really important meeting and couldn't get away but he wanted to be there." She was taking a guess based on his earlier reaction when he father finally arrived. She didn't want Roo to think that his father hadn't wanted to be at the hospital with him.

"I know" he replied.

"Good what do you say we head out?" she asked as she escorted him out to her car, and he once again nodded in agreement.

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The rest of the night went by peaceably; the four enjoyed their pizza along with a few films. Rufus fell asleep during the second movie and neither adult was very surprised. Strickland carried him up and got him in bed trying to make sure he was comfortable and his arm rested on its own pillow. Hermione made it through another film before she headed up to bed as well.

Once both kids were asleep Sandra and Strickland eagerly curled up on the sofa together with a nice bottle of white wine happy to finally be alone.

"Thank you for everything today" he said leaning over and giving her a kiss.

"You're welcome, but you know you don't have to thank me." She told him as she snuggled closer.

"Yes I do, when I asked you to do me this favor I couldn't imagine this is what would happen." He replied with a sigh, he couldn't believe Rufus managed to break his arm today of all days.

"Really dare I ask what you were envisioning?" she laughed.

"I don't know, one of them getting sick I guess." He didn't know what he was actually expected but he knew he had hoped nothing would happen.

"Yes well it seems Rufus didn't get that message." She reminded him taking a sip of her wine.

"I can't believe I wasn't there the first time he broke a bone" he moaned.

"The first time? Are you expecting more? It's not like his first steps and first words." She wondered what it was with guys and just expecting boys to break a bunch of bones.

"I missed those too" he whispered. "He is a rather rambunctious child I am actually surprised he made it this long." He wondered out loud.

"So you do expect more broken bones. Well then you will have more opportunities to be there I wouldn't describe it as a fun time. I will be more than happy to let you handle it next time. Luckily Rufus took it all in stride, I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't." She didn't have much experience with injured children apart from bumps and bruises, she didn't really know how one calmed down an injured child. Yet another reason she probably should have picked up a parenting book or two.

"But I still wasn't there this time" he complained.

"You had work" she reminded him.

"Did you see the look he gave me, he blamed me for not being there" he shot back.

"He was tired, you woke him up and you know how he is when he is just woken up. And on top of that he was hungry, but he doesn't blame you." She told him trying to make him feel better. Accidents happened and important meeting happened and sometimes they happened at the same time and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Then why was he so quite tonight. He wouldn't let you more than a meter way from him all night and yet he wanted nothing to do with me." Strickland had kept a close eye on his son over the last few hours and it sure felt like the boy was mad at him.

"Robert, okay I don't know all that much about kids but I do think I know a bit about Roo and Mione. And Roo loves you, he idolizes you. He was in pain at A&E but he didn't seem all that upset. The whole process scared him a little and they gave him some drugs so they could set his arm that probably made him feel a little strange. And except for his broke arm he is fine. Tomorrow he will be back to normal." She was trying to make him feel better, but he seemed hell bent on blaming himself. Yet she was not about to give up without at least trying to remind him that he was a good man.

"I suppose you're right I just wish I had been there." He sighed the thought of his son in the hospital without him was one he could not get out of his mind.

"I do too, I was a mess on the way to get him thankfully I brought Brian with me. And I really wanted to bite that woman's head off for letting Roo get hurt." She confessed to him and if she was completely honest the whole thing was incredibly stressful all she wanted to do was make Roo better and she was helpless to do so.

"I really am sorry" he apologized to her. He hated himself even more for putting her in that position.

"It is hardly your fault. There is something I do want to talk to you about that has me a little bit more concerned. It's about Hermione." She figure there was no time like the present to bring up the issue.

"Hermione? What did she do?" He asked confused, his daughter had been a bubble of energy the whole night; she seemed to be the only one not affected by the whole incident.

"Nothing, I guess you could say I am concerned for her," Sandra clarified.

"Okay?" nothing she said was making him feel any better first Rufus and now Hermione.

"When I went to get Roo, Hermione was told she could stay at the party but she didn't want to. In fact she all but said she would rather spend the afternoon at the hospital than at the party." She informed him trying to explain the situation to him.

"Why would she say that?" he asked taking a sip of his wine, calming down a little.

"She doesn't like the girls at the party, she called them stuck up. And then later I overheard her talking to the guys and she said the girls look down on her because she doesn't go to their school and because you and her mum are divorced." It might have been the whole broken arm incident but she had this burning urge to protect Hermione from those girls.

"They what? But she grew up with them" he cried out surprised.

"According to her they only spend time together at these parties, she isn't friends with them and I don't think she wants to be." She understood exactly where the teen was coming from but it didn't seem like he understood.

"What exactly are you saying?" He wasn't sure what point she was trying to make, he would be the first to admit he didn't understand women very much and that extended to the mini one he had fathered. It might have been wrong but he usually let his ex-wife deal with most of the issues that involved Hermione. And neither of them had ever mentioned anything about these parties. He thought it was silly to send them but if Helen wanted to he didn't have much reason to object.

"What I'm saying is she doesn't like going to these parties. And I know I'm not her mum or anything but I don't think these are the types of girls she should be spending time with. I don't think she should be going to these parties anymore she doesn't want to and I don't think you should be forcing her to." She didn't want Hermione to have anything to do with these girls let alone go over to their houses.

"She has never said anything about it before." He responded still trying to process everything she had said. Sandra glared at him he was being difficult and she wasn't in the mood for it.

"She said something to her mum but it didn't seem to matter." She growled at him.

"I thought this was how girls are, one minute they love each other then they hate each other then it's back to friends?" He wasn't trying to argue with her he was just trying to understand but it was clear Sandra was getting angry with him.

"No it isn't, I have been trying to be nice about this but I am tired and you are being an idiot who isn't listening to me." She said sitting up and moving out of his arms so she could face him and he could see the anger on her face.

"Sandra?"

"I am telling you not to send her to these parties any more, she doesn't want to go, and these girls clearly aren't nice. You don't socialize with these people and according to Hermione neither goes your ex-wife. So why do you keep making the two of them go to these parties. It is okay I suppose to force kids to play together while their parents socialize. But as Hermione so wisely put it neither of you wanted these friends in the divorce. So why the hell do you keep forcing your kids to play with their kids. Hermione doesn't want to go she had more fun with Gerry, Jack and Brian than at that party what does that tell you? And I'm sorry but Rufus broke his arm while under their care, that doesn't make me trust them." She let out a deep breath trying to calm herself. "I know I'm not their parent and I don't actually get a say but don't you dare send them to another party with those people or so help me…" she hissed at him getting so upset it even surprised her.

"Okay first, Rufus could have broke his arm anywhere." He said putting his hands on her arms.

"I know boys will be boys and all that bullshit." She barked pulling away from his touch and he immediately threw his hands in the air in an act of surrender. He was not trying to fight her.

"But you're right if Hermione doesn't want to go we shouldn't make her just because her mum and I feel guilty about not wanting to spend time with these people anymore." He told her, he was not about to force his daughter to do something as trivial as going to a party thrown my people he really didn't care about.

"Thank you" she said giving him a satisfied smile.

"And second, you do get a say when it comes to Hermione and Rufus, if you feel that strongly about something then I trust you. We come as a package deal and since you have foolishly chosen to accept all three of us you deserve to have a voice in raising them." He said trying to explain to her how much he trusted her when it came to his children. They may only have the kids on weekends and some holidays but they were in this together now and that meant she had a right to make decisions when it came to the two of them

"I will settle for you listening to me on this issue." She told him moving back into his arms satisfied the situation was now well under control and he would save them from another party.

"Okay" he laughed letting it go for now. "I love you so much you know that right?"

"I do but I say we go upstairs and you can show me." She replied flashing him a seductive smile

"Anyone ever tell you that you are a genius?"

"Yes but feel free to remind me as often as you like."

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Sandra woke in the middle of the night to find herself alone in bed, Strickland was nowhere in the room. She quietly checked Hermione and Rufus' rooms, both of them where fast asleep in bed and their father still was nowhere to be found. After a bit more searching she finally found him sitting on the sofa with a bottle of scotch.

"I wondered where you got to." She said sitting down next to him.

"You want some?" he asked lifting the scotch bottle towards her.

"No I'm good, but you're not. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She replied as she looked him over. His hair was disheveled and his whole demeanor was that of a beaten down man.

"I should have been there today at the hospital with Rufus. I feel terrible for not being there." He moaned as he took a drink from the bottle.

"Robert you had no idea that something like this would happen, it was an accident. You had important work you can't blame yourself over this. Kids get hurt all the time and you can't always be around," She felt herself repeating everything she has told him earlier but it clearly had not sunk in the first time.

"I have missed so many important events in their lives because of this job. When I got divorced I promised myself that I wouldn't miss things anymore at least not because of the job." He ranted, she was sure the scotch was doing some of the talking.

"Every parent misses things. Brian and Gerry missed just about everything in their kid's lives. You are a wonderful dad. I see it every time you are with them, you love them so much. Sometimes things come up especially for working parents." She tried to comfort him, but she wasn't sure she could penetrate his alcohol induced depression and self loathing.

"Things shouldn't just come up when it comes to my kids and I am not a wonderful dad." He spat taking a large swig of scotch from the bottle once more, this time she couldn't hold back her exasperated sigh.

"Yes you are," she said firmly trying to get through to his drunken mind.

"Your definition of a good dad is a bit skewed." he said lashing out at her. "To you a good father simple has to avoid sleeping with prostitutes, killing a pimp, fathering an illegitimate son, and not kill himself when he gets caught. Thought even after all that you still think it was okay and still love him. Normal people wouldn't love a dad who did that. And most fathers are held up to a slightly higher standard." She flinched away from him as if he had hit her. She was surprised and shocked that he would say something like that to her. They rarely talked about her dad anymore, as a general rule nothing good seemed to come from it. So throwing Gordon Pullman's actions in her face and then questioning her love for her father felt like a punch in the gut. He missed her reaction because he took yet another large swig of his drink.

"How. Dare. You… You Robert Strickland are an areshole. I will have you know there are quite a few fathers out there who can't meet those standards most of them are in jail. However my standards are not that low and I know what my dad did was wrong. My father may have done all those things but he loved me and I will continue to love him. You on the other hand can be one mean drunk. Don't bother coming back up to bed." She hissed at him before she stormed away.

"Shit" he cried. Even in his drunken haze he immediately regretted what he said to her, he had clearly had too much to drink but that wasn't an excuse she would likely sympathize with. He wanted to follow after her, apologize, but he knew better, she wouldn't talk to him tonight. Instead he finished the rest of his bottle of scotch and fell asleep on the sofa.

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The next time he opened his eyes the sun was shining far too bright and his children were looking down at him.

"Why are you sleeping on the sofa?" Roo asked confused.

"I…Sandra…" he said sitting up and rubbing his face.

"Did you make Sandra angry?" Hermione asked with a disapproving glare, which reminded him of his ex-wife.

"Are you two doing to get a divorce too?" Roo questioned with a sad face.

"They have to be married to get a divorce" Hermione informed him with a frustrated sigh.

"Is that why she is mad at you cause you won't marry her?" Rufus asked.

"Did you two break up" Hermione questioned him ignoring her brother this time. She really liked Sandra and she wanted her to stick around forever.

"No we just had a fight. I said some really stupid stuff." He admitted, his head was pounding too hard to come up with anything other than the truth.

"You need to tell her you're sorry" she informed him her hands firmly on her hips as she started him down.

"I will, I just need to sleep a little more," he told her.

"Not there, we're watching TV" she informed him once more channeling his ex-wife.

He moved from the sofa to the nearby arm chair, his children had clearly taken Sandra's side which didn't surprise him they had always been smart kids. To his relief he quickly fell back asleep for about an hour. When he finally got up he stumbled upstairs, his head was still pounding but he needed to talk to Sandra apologize for what he said. She had been right when she called him an arsehole, which was exactly what he was. He had hurt her and he had to find a way to make it better.

He entered the bedroom and found her still asleep tears stains were still visible on her cheeks. His heart sank, he hated when he made her cry. He knelt down and brushed the hair away from her face. Sandra began to stir and her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning?" he whispered.

"Morning" she grumbled, fighting her desire to turn away from him.

"I am so sorry for what I said last night. I was stupid and drunk and I was feeling sorry for myself. You tried to make me feel better and I was terrible to you. You didn't deserve what I said and I didn't mean it either." He apologized to her immediately hoping she would forgive him.

"You were in fine form last night." She commented as she tried to focus on him. After storming away she hasn't slept well and she was still angry with him. She knew why people said 'don't go to bed angry' it was because it was almost impossible to sleep when you were angry.

"Yeah I know. Can I lay down my head is killing me." He begged her, she glared at him and then finally she moved over making room for him. "Thank you" he said climbing in next to her.

"Doesn't mean I forgive you my head hurts and I'm tired of having to look up at you. How is it you drank all the scotch and yet I feel like crap?" She asked him, it wasn't fair, her head shouldn't hurt so much.

"I made you cry." It was a statement not a question.

"Yes you did" she confirmed.

"And you cried yourself to sleep." He said looking at her face feeling horrible knowing he had done that to her.

"Possibly" she didn't know why but some sense of pride prevented her from straight out admitting what had happened.

"That's why you feel the way you do it's my fault too." He told her he knew he had been wrong and he would take the blame due him.

"Yeah" she sighed rubbing her head a bit more.

"I see you used a pillow" she just gave him a confused look. "In place of your bear" he explained further.

"You leave him out of this I am still quite pissed at you." She growled glaring at him, if he was trying to be funny he was greatly miss reading the situation.

"I know and you should be, what I said was horrible and awful. I should have never said it. I was appalling a right tosser and I am so very sorry I didn't mean it." He apologized again, he needed her to know he was sorry.

"The problem is you think its true" she exhaled after a minute.

"What are you talking about?" he asked confused.

"About my dad, I know what you think of him." She explained and a bit of anger laced her words.

"You really want to talk about this now when we both feel so bad?" He questioned her, he was trying to apologize trying to get them past this and she wanted to talk about it more.

"You brought it up last night" she reminded him sharply.

"True, okay I don't like what he did, what he did to you, you deserve better. I love you and I can't help feeling you always deserve the best." He said trying to explain how he felt without talking badly of Gordon Pullman and upsetting her further.

"But he was my dad, the only one I had and I loved him. All those memories I have of him are good ones. Only thirty years later did all this bad stuff come out that was not the man I knew. Those memories are the part I want and chose to focus on. That's the man I know and loved." She replied defending the love she still felt for the man. Yes he had lied repeatedly, yes he cheated on her mother and had a son and yes he killed himself and that knowledge hurt. And she hated that her father did those things, she had tried hating him but she couldn't. She loved him too much. The memories she had of him meant too much to her, they were too important.

"And I know that" he told her emphatically.

"But that's not what you focus on, you didn't know him," she countered. Her tone was not one of anger but one of exhaustion. She was tired from the night before, tired of having this argument, and tired of trying to explain herself to him.

"No I didn't I'm sorry I didn't get to meet the man you loved. I only know the one who hurt you. And that's why I try not to talk about him with you." He answered her weakly.

"Yes that is until you throw it at me when we're having an argument, we weren't actually even having an argument and you threw it at me. I believe you even told me I shouldn't love him." She hissed anger now filling her voice, but she didn't want to yell for fear the kids would hear.

"I am so sorry I should have never said it. I don't even know why I did. I just know I felt like shit and I couldn't bear you telling me I was a good dad. You were the one who was there when I should have been." He tried apologizing again as he tried to explain, he wasn't trying to make excuses but she deserved to know why he had been such an arse.

"Are you angry with me because I went when you couldn't?" she asked him flatly.

"No I don't know. All I know is, it should have been me there not you." He didn't know exactly what he thought or felt when it came to Roo and his broken arm. The only thing he knew was he had messed the whole things up.

"I only got called and took him because you asked me to" she reminded him.

"I know I'm sorry. You were great yesterday I am so grateful for everything you have done. Not just yesterday but over the past several years." He emphatically told her taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. He was happy and thankful she didn't pull away from him.

"I love those two you know I would do just about anything for them, I know I'm not really one of their parents, but I will always be there for them." She reminded him with a small smile, she would have never thought she could love two kids that much but she did.

"You know there is something I have been meaning to tell you, it just never seemed the right time. And this hardly qualifies but it needs to be said. You always say you're not a parent, you're not a mother but you are a mother." He informed her it was something she needed to know.

"Please don't tell me you talking about Brian, Jack and Gerry?" she asked confused.

"No I'm talking about Hermione and Rufus" he said shaking his head.

"I'm not their mum that's why they like me" she replied dismissing his thought.

"No they love you because you love them and take care of them. I know you would do anything, drop anything for them even when I won't. That's what a parent does it doesn't matter that they're not yours biologically you love them as if they were." He continued, he need her to understand how important she was to his kids.

"I did refer to them as my kids yesterday. I tried to cover it and the boys let it go I know they noticed but for some reason they were being nice." She admitted to him, there were times she did think of them as hers but she always tried to stop those thoughts because no matter how much she loved them they weren't really hers. Yet here was Strickland trying to convince her that they were as much hers as they were his. And to her surprise her heart soared at the thought.

"If you ever actually accepted my offer you would be there step mother someday." He reminded her, he wanted that to happen more than he let on but he was willing to wait as long as it took for her to be ready.

"You know why we can't" she sighed. Instead of fear at the thought of being stepmother to Hermione and Rufus she felt desire she wanted to be the stepmum.

"I do but I also know you will change your mind one day," he told her with a smile.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"I'm not I can just feel it" he said giving her hand another squeeze.

"Are you still drunk?"

"No just very hung over."

"Well you're not making any sense" she informed him shaking her head.

"Yes I am" he replied giving her a big smile.

"We should probably get up." She informed him changing the subject and stretching a bit. Her head was feeling better but she desperately needed coffee.

"Nah, the kids are watching TV they kicked me off the sofa. Somehow they knew we had a fight, they blame me. They are not happy with me, something you three have in common." He moaned as he closed his eyes. "Sandra I never should have said that stuff about your dad." He felt the need to apologize one more time.

"I know what you and the boys think of him, especially you and Jack, but that isn't the man I knew. The man I knew was loving, kind, and caring. After everything that happened, after everything I have found out that is the way I choose to remember him." She informed him it was the only way she could move past all the revelations she found out over the past few years if she focused on all the bad then she could never move on.

"He was your dad you loved him and you still do and I had no right to say that to you or judge you." He answered opening his eyes and looking over at her. "You should love him, you have every right to love him and it was so wrong to suggest otherwise. You were being kind and so nice telling me I was a great dad when I didn't want to hear it, when I knew I had been a terrible father I lashed out at you and I was flat out wrong of me to do it. Can you forgive me?" He asked her, he still felt terrible for what he did for upsetting her the way he did.

"Yes but I'm not making you breakfast you can deal with that hang over all on your own. I'm getting dressed and feeding the kids. I would suggest you shower you smell of scotch." She said getting out of bed and heading out the door.

"Morning" she called to the two children as she came down the stairs.

"Morning Sandra" they yelled happily

"Are you hungry?" She asked from the kitchen turning the coffee maker on.

"We already had ceral while dad was asleep on the chair." Roo informed her not taking his eyes off the television.

"Have you forgiven him?" Hermione asked, she looked up at Sandra as she re-entered the room.

"Mostly" she admitted honestly she wouldn't lie to the teen.

"Good" Hermione nodded with a smile.

"So you're not getting a divorce?" Roo asked finally looking away from the TV.

"Roo I already told you" Mione sighed shooting her brother a look.

"Oh, right" he replied remembering what she said earlier.

"How is your arm Roo?" Sandra asked him, he seemed to be back to his normal self and none the worse for wear after yesterday's events.

"It hurts a little" he admitted looking down at his cast.

"Tell him if he would stop hitting me with it wouldn't hurt so much" Hermione complained.

"Rufus you know what the doctor told you. You have to rest your arm as much as possible. So it will get better faster." She scolded him, thought she was hardly surprised.

"But I like it I don't want it to go away faster" Roo whined.

"Six weeks is a long time, trust me, stop hitting your sister with it." She ordered him shaking her head while trying not to laugh at the boy's logic.

"Fine, can we go to the park today?" he asked.

"Yeah don't think so, you are banned from even being near a tree while that cast is on. I will not have you even tempted into climbing a tree and break more bones. You are staying on the ground away from trees you understand."She informed him sternly, she could just seem him trying to climb like a monkey even in his cast.

"Fine" he sighed. "Can we go to the cinema then?" he asked again.

"That sounds like a much better idea. Maybe we can find a nice loud action film your dad's head will love that." She replied a wicked smile spread across her face as she returned to the kitchen to get a mug of coffee.

Strickland had been at the top of the stairs when he heard her comment and he couldn't help but winced. Sandra Pullman was not a woman to be crossed.

A/N Hope you liked the chapter thanks for reading and for the reviews.


	32. End of the Line

End of the Line

"Sandra" Strickland called as he entered the house that evening.

"Where have you been?" She called from her spot on the sofa. She could hear the tiredness in his voice which didn't surprise her as she had been expected him home two hours earlier.

She didn't look up from the TV as he entered. He was thankful she didn't sound upset, he wasn't sure he could deal with an angry Sandra after the day he had.

"I ordered food it's on the counter. You'll have to reheat it though I was expecting you home a while ago" she continued. She had long gotten use to him coming home late she would be hardly one to complain about it seeing as she had spent many a night working longer than him.

"Sorry" was all he said in a soft voice as he shed his coat.

"What the hell happened to you?" She cried finally looking up at him. His left eye was black and blue and in the upper left corner there appeared to be a few stitches. She jumped up to inspect his wounds, wine and TV forgotten.

"It's nothing, just a little accident on the fives court." He said pulling away; he didn't want her to fuss over him.

"This isn't nothing come on sit down." She replied ignoring his words and directing him over to the sofa. "Do you need anything a cold pack, some drugs?" She asked trying to make him feel better.

"No I'm fine just sit down with me please" he asked her with a sigh.

"Of course, does it hurt?" He just looked at her in response. "No sorry of course it hurts. What exactly happened?" She inquired, she had seen him not four hours earlier and he was fine.

"I was playing fives with Tommy and I wasn't paying attention, he made a joke I laughed and I took my eye off the ball it was only for a second. But that was enough it hit me and I went down." He told her, he was more than a little embarrassed by the whole thing.

"Why didn't you call me?" She asked, she would have gladly taken him to the hospital he knew that.

"Tommy helped me up and insisted I let him take me to A&E. It took all my convincing just to get him to let me change first. He had all my stuff how could I explain calling you. Not that he ever even gave me a chance he insisted on dealing with everything I'm surprised he let me dress myself. Even if I told him about us he would have demanded he call you and likely insist on you letting him handle everything." He explained and he was not exaggerating, Tommy wouldn't let him take more two steps on his own it was like being a child again.

"I thought I was the only person who got to order you around." She joked, trying to make him feel better.

"You are, I think he felt bad, he felt guilty." He would have preferred to have gone to A&E with her, though what he really wanted was to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"For hurting a superior?" she joked one more.

"For nearly blinding a friend. But it wasn't his fault I'm the one who looked away." He really didn't blame the other man it was the danger that came with any game especially at his age.

"Well I'm sure you won't make that mistake again. Here let me get you some food." She said and they both knew she was right, it was a mistake he would not soon forget.

"No I'm good." He replied stopping her from trying to stand up.

"Let me guess he insisted on feeding you too." She correctly deduced as she sat back down, he only nodded his head up and down. "He is just taking over for me how am I supposed to fuss and take care of you if he's already done everything. He's not waiting outside to tuck you into bed is he?" She sighed, it was meant to be funny but she was feeling a little put out he was hers to take care of when the need arose, he had done it plenty of times for her.

"You don't need to fuss and take care of me, I'm fine, and no he is not outside I insisted on driving myself home." He told her firmly the last thing he wanted was for her to be making a big deal of all of this; he wanted to forget it ever happened.

"I hardly think you're fine. Can you see alright? You were safe to drive right?" She asked turning all her attention back on his wounded eye, it appeared that he had at least five stitches and the area around the eye was swollen.

"Yes I can see and I can drive now leave me alone." he growled.

"Okay if that's what you want" she said taking her hand off him and putting them up in the air as a sign of surrender.

"No I'm sorry I just feel like an idiot. I should have been paying attention and I feel old. A silly little ball took me down." He moaned, the whole time Tommy was fussing over him his embarrassment only continued to grow.

"A silly little ball going exceedingly fast took you down. And it would have done so even if you were twenty. You shouldn't feel old remember you're still younger than Gerry Jack and Brian." She told him with a smirk.

"That hardly makes me feel better." He replied not feeling the humor.

"Well you don't get to feel old because that would make me old and I refuse to be old." She said giving him a look that warned him not to call her old.

"Well when a small ball knocks you on your ass it's hard not to feel old and stupid." He whinged to her, he had never felt so aged and useless before today.

"I think you will find I believe you to be neither of those things. Did you ever think maybe the ball was just getting revenged for being smacked against the wall by you so many times?" She said playful once more and even he could help but smile at that one. "Good, now what can I do to make you feel better?" She asked all her attempts to do so failed she was out of options but to simply ask him what to do.

"Nothing now let's talk about something else, anything else. How did your case turn out?" All he wanted to do was think about something, anything but his accident.

"Now that's something I don't want to talk about." She moaned from one bad topic of conversation to another.

"Why what happened? I thought you were close to making an arrest?" He asked confused, she had been excited that morning to get the guy after all these years.

"We were unfortunately our witness died and now our suspect gets away." She exclaimed with an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sorry" he knew how frustrating she felt when she couldn't get a murder.

"Let me ask you something" she had been thinking about the way the case had ended all night.

"Anything as long as it isn't about my eye" he begged her.

"It isn't don't worry. Do you think losing all your money or most of it is an equivalent punishment to going to jail for the rest of your life?" she asked him biting her bottom lip, she had asked herself this question over and over and couldn't come up with an answer.

"I guess to some people if they are very rich it would be a complete life change, loss of privileges that comes with certain wealth, loss of status. People have been known to kill themselves when they know they have lost all their wealth." He answered, he knew the question in some way related to her case he just wasn't sure how, but he didn't think it truly mattered in the end.

"But it isn't really the same as losing your freedom?" she questioned further.

"Nope, though to some money is freedom and if it is the best punishment we have than it is better than nothing." He offered hoping it would make her feel a bit better.

"I know" she said sighing once more.

"I know you hate it when we can't get the person responsible even though we know they did it." He told her sympathizing with how she felt and he wished there was something he could do to make it better.

"You think I would be use to it by now?" she moaned.

"The fact that you're not tells me you are a good cop, you want justice." He replied pulling her closer to him.

"I do like to get justice." She said with a weak smile.

"At least he won't get off free and clear" he reminded her.

"No and since he did it for the money I suppose he is getting what he deserved." She agreed, Charles Alenforth belonged in jail but at least he wouldn't be living in such luxury anymore. With one last sigh she decided that would have to be enough for today.

"Something is still better than nothing" he reminded her as he tried to stifle a yawn.

"True, now I think we should go upstairs because you need some rest." She told him, she has seen his yawn and she could see the tired look in his eyes.

"I'm fine" he protested even though he was exhausted. Every part of his body ached from that stupid fall.

"Let me take care of you just for a little bit" she begged him.

"Alright" he finally agreed as she turned off the television and together they stood up and made their way upstairs to their bedroom.

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"What the hell did you do to Strickland?" Jack asked Sandra the next day as he entered the UCOS office along with Gerry and Brian.

"You should be asking what did he do to her that caused her to hurt him." Gerry corrected him with a laugh as he hung his coat up.

"Whatever happened it looks like it hurts" Brian added sitting down at his desk.

"Do you really have so little faith in my relationship or me to think I had anything to do with his eye? After three years seriously?" She asked standing in the doorway of her office hands on her hips. She was insulted by their presumptions, she would never physically hurt the man she loved.

"Hey we're coppers and the first suspect is usually the partner." Gerry tried to explain though he still had a smirk on his face.

"Well then what happened?" Jack asked as he began making coffee.

"Accident on the fives court he got hit by the ball." She explained, she was hesitant to tell them, she didn't want them laughing as Strickland all day.

"Ah" Gerry said with a laugh. "Getting a little too old to be playing such a fast game is he?" his enjoyment was cut shore as she sent him a death glare which immediately stopped his laughter.

"Those balls travel quite fast he could have been blinded or knocked unconscious or-"

"Thank you Brian." Sandra yelled stopping him, she didn't need to know that his injuries could be worse. "He is embarrassed by it so do not ask him about it or let him know I told you." She said looking directly at Gerry. "He will bite your head off" she warned. "And then I will have to deal with him at home and I will make your lives miserable in turn so think carefully before you make any jokes." She glared at each of them once more to make her point.

"Don't worry our lips are sealed," Jack promised looking at the other two who reluctantly nodded in agreement.

"Good now let's get on with our new case shall we." She said walking toward the white board files in her hand.

A/N I figured Strickland is always trying to take care of Sandra is it was about time she got to try and take care of him. I hope you enjoyed thanks for reading and for all the reviews


	33. Lost in Translation

Lost in Translation

"What happened? You're brooding and I can't think of anything I've done to upset you so I am assuming it's the guys." Strickland said as he arrived home to find Sandra sitting on the sofa, the television was on but she wasn't playing any attention to it, she was playing with her untouched wine glass staring out into the dark night.

"Actually it is this case we just closed." She answered looking up at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked sitting down next to her.

"No I want to talk about anything but this case or work." She said smiling at him as she moved into his arms, taking some solace and comfort from his touch.

"This is nice" he kissed her as they sat there quietly.

"Mmm yes it is though you are supposed to talk to me about something to distract me." She told him as she rested her head against him.

"When you put me on the spot like that all thoughts except those of work go out of my head." He whinged and she laughed at him.

"You know you have lipstick on your collar" she informed with a grin looking up at his shirt. "Are you trying to start rumors?"

"Oh I got dragged into a reception for the commissioner and some overzealous woman left her mark, you know how these things are." He told her quickly as if he was worried she would be angry with him.

"Of course I do" she agreed laughing "it is the one of the few things I'm glad I miss out on by keeping our relationship a secret."

"Yes I envy you." He said with a smile taking her untouched wine and having a drink of it.

"I know you would never cheat on me I have never had that fear." She informed him and it was true she never worried about his fidelity to her.

"Why not?" he questioned her.

"Really? I trust you that's why. You are too good of a person to ever cheat on someone." She told him confused as to why he was questioning her.

"You might be surprised" he replied finishing off the wine and putting the glass on the nearby table.

"I know my line should be 'surprise me' but I would find it too hard to believe. I would know I have a bit of a history with the subject. I am quite use to playing the other woman." Robert Strickland was one of the most honest men she has ever met she couldn't see him as the cheating type.

"I had heard rumors when I first started I must admit." He told her cautiously, they had never spent much time talking about their past relationships and the very last thing he wanted to do was upset her.

"Got to love the rumor mill" she commented with a hollow laugh. "I put an end to that when we started UCOS. I got tired of being the other woman." She said firmly, she had realized that she deserved better than being someone's dirty little secret or bit on the side.

"That would explain it" he said softly.

"Explain what?" she asked confused.

"Oh nothing" he replied looking down, he couldn't meet her eyes.

"No what?" she pushed she wanted to know.

"I really don't want to tell you" he said quietly.

"Why?" she asked giving him a suspicious look.

"Because you will get mad at me and I don't really feel like sleeping on this sofa tonight." He answered honestly, he really wasn't looking to make her angry and he was afraid if he told her she would get really mad at him.

"Then you better tell me" she told him with a smirk. Whatever it was he clearly didn't want to tell her which had the opposite effect on her. She needed to know and she was willing to wager that whatever it was it was going to be entertaining at the very least and a welcome distraction.

"Fine but promise to not hold it against me, it was a long time ago" he requested hoping to avoid an argument.

"I can't make you that promise. That would take all the fun out of this." She said kissing him. She was enjoying making him uncomfortable. "Now tell me" she ordered.

"Fine just remember you ask. When I first started as your DAC I heard the rumors, heard things about you and other men. Specifically older married men, and then I met you and you were- still are gorgeous. And I thought well I thought…" He didn't know exactly how to finish that statement that didn't get him trouble.

"You thought I would sleep with you?" she finished for him raising her eyebrows at him.

"Yes… well it was more than that really," he told her trying to explain.

"Your something on the side?" she offered trying not to give into the urge she felt to smile at him.

"Something more substantial," he admitted becoming a bit embarrassed.

"I believe the term you're looking for is mistress." She replied trying not to laugh at his discomfort. She had always known he had a bit of a thing for her, she just didn't know how strong his feels actually were.

"Yes I suppose so but you have to understand-" he continued trying to explain.

"You were and still are an idiot?" She said giving him a smug smile.

"Yes but beyond that you have to understand me and Helen we weren't …sleeping together anymore, when we saw each other we just fought. Hell we weren't even sleeping in the same bed. We went out of our way to avoid each other. We were avoiding everything, we had separate lives. She was sleeping with someone else and I thought why should she be the only one. It is harder than you think to find women over the age of twenty-five who want to date a marry man. Don't let television fool you. And then you came along and you were perfect. You still are did I mention that? And I thought you were the answer to everything. That turned out to be a huge mistake." He informed her rubbing his forehead, she was right he was an idiot though to his relief she didn't seem upset by his admission.

"Yes I suppose I was not exactly receptive, why did it take you two more years to get a divorce?" She asked quite curious if he and Helen were living such separate lives why not simply make it official.

"Turns out to actually end a marriage you have to be around each other enough to agree to a divorce." He told her laughing a little it seemed a self evident statement but in real life things weren't always so simple.

"I see" she said and she did, it was a lot easier to avoid a problem then to sit down and fix it or deal with it.

"We were living completely different lives, we practically had already split custody of the kids. I wanted so badly to be with someone I could talk to and be happy with. And boy did that go wrong, this almost never happened" he mused. "Why did you eventually end up going out with me?" he asked her. It was something he had always wondered but could never seem to ask her.

"You weren't married anymore you had been acting less of a pompous arse. And if I am being completely honest I was angry when you kissed Christy Berlin a few months before. Plus it was right after my birthday." She admitted to him, seeing him kiss another woman may have been a big factor; she still couldn't get the image or the feelings it created out of her head.

"Which you chose to spend with James" he reminded her.

"Only because the boys forgot it was my birthday. Okay I'm not making myself out very well." She laughed she was making herself sound very desperate.

"That's okay. And if I had known you were so upset with me kissing another woman I would have dumped her before she dumped me." He informed her and he meant it too. To this day he couldn't remember exactly why he had started dating that woman.

"I said I was angry at you." She told him but they both knew it was more than that. "Though if we are making confessions I should tell you that I knew she was using you. After I saw you two at the circus…I was worried about her hurting you so I went to see her at her office and she admitted to what she was up to. I should have told you I'm sorry. I was trying to decide how to tell you when I found out about my dad and Jack and before that I was still a little pissed at you." She admitted she still felt bad about not warning him.

"I think deep down, I knew what she was doing and I didn't care. I was a little lonely. I think she got the worse end actually. I don't think she was exactly happy with the way the case turned out." He said with a slightly scary smile, he didn't feel bad for her for one minute.

"Serves her right she was the one who dug it up for us" she replied not feeling any sympathy either.

"I don't think she was really capable of being happy" he mused as how unhappy the woman was.

"I'm just glad you are. You know what really almost mucked this all up before it ever got a change to start?" she asked him.

"No but I'm sure you're going to tell me" he laughed.

"When you brought in that useless officer in to go undercover with Brian and nearly got my team killed. I was so mad at you for using them the way you did. I was mad at you for a very long time because of that." She would almost go so far as to say she hated him for a while. It took almost a year for her to truly trust him again.

"I am truly sorry about that, what can I say? I was playing politics something I learned to be careful doing with you and your team." He had feared she would never trust or forgive him after that, he knew he had really messed things up that day.

"Damn straight" she scolded giving him a pointed look.

"Do you remember that hero of the year do you had to give a speech for?" he asked changing the subject.

"Yes Gerry, Jack, and Brian nearly ruined it by getting in a fight with Rob Petty, though in retrospect I wish they had knocked his front teeth in. It hurt when that man elbowed me and then he almost ran over Gerry and he shot Jack." She couldn't help but wince at the thought of that whole incident.

"Yes well I was thinking of the dress you were wearing." He told her with a smile.

"You would" she laughed and shook her head.

"You looked so lovely that night" he said and to show he was actually trying to be romantic he took her hand and kissed it.

"Well thank you. Don't remind Gerry of that case he will get far too much enjoyment out of telling me he was right, in more ways than one, first Rob Petty and then you." She shook her head once more; things would have turned out a little better if she had listened to Gerry not that she would tell him.

"Me?" he asked confused.

"Yes he was convinced you were flirting with me all over his desk and you were." She explained laughing, there wasn't much that got past Gerry but she would never tell him that either, his ego was big enough as it was.

"Yes I suppose I was. You know there have been several times I have been jealous of all three of your boys but specifically Gerry." He had never told her but it was true, and he had always felt a little threatened by Gerry. The older man always seemed very close to her and there were time he acted as if he was in love with her.

"Why?" she asked confused. She knew that she and Gerry flirted a little back in the old days but it was always harmless and never meant anything.

"Because he could always say things to you I never could" he explained.

"Oh please give me an example and I will tell you how it turned out for Gerry." She asked him skeptical of his interpretation of past events.

"The case where you went diving" he said flatly.

"Ah yes that one… Gerry did not like the idea of me diving with that group" she nodded remembering her tiny disagreement with Gerry in the interview room.

"Neither did I, I hated the idea scared the crap out of me. But I had to couch my fears in procedures. He got to flat out say he was worried about you." He continued to explain his fears and frustrations. He had been quite worried she would get hurt or killed and he had been right to worry in the end.

"You were worried about me? That is rather sweet I thought you were just pissed at me." She said smiling at him, she truly had not known he had been concerned for her well-being she just thought he was mad that she was going against health and safety.

"Damn straight I was worried and as I recall your diving partner died during that second dive. Pure oxygen in his tank was it?" he reminded her proving there was reason for him to be concerned for her safety.

"Yes" she agreed quietly.

"You could have died" he continued driving the point home.

"He was the target" she tried to reminded him though it was not much of a defense.

"The tanks could have gotten mixed up and you could have been the one inhaling pure oxygen." He told her trying to stress the seriousness of the situation even thought it was years ago.

"Yes I know Gerry made his point then for the both of you as it turns out." She insisted she was well aware of how dangerous the situation was, he didn't need to keep pushing.

"Still doesn't mean I liked it" he grumbled.

"I can't do much about it now" she sighed this was practically ancient history now.

"I suppose not. Then there was the time I caught you and Gerry dancing." He said moving on to his next gripe.

"I was an unwilling participant he thought he could just grab me and make me dance." She huffed at him; it was hardly fair for him to bring these things up now.

"He seemed to be doing a good job" he added.

"Wasn't that the same case that my mother embarrassed you on?" She said turning the tables on him.

"She embarrassed both of us if I remember correctly." He pointed out though he could hardly forget her mother's remarks he had made a hasty retreat before he let something slip. He knew if he stayed her mother would see the feelings he had for her daughter.

"Yes but I am use to it" she grinned. She brushed his comment off quickly, her mother had been making comments like that her entire life, didn't mean it didn't drive her crazy though.

"And if I remember correctly that was the case I told you to stay away from." He added giving her a look this time.

"And I still got the murder. The boys really did almost everything… they wanted to help." She smiled remembering how sweet they were to help her out with her mum like that.

"Do you think your mother meant it" he asked suddenly still thinking about her mum's comments.

"Meant what?"

"That we made a handsome couple?" He couldn't help but wonder what her mum would thing of their relationship.

"Yes, though she isn't going to find out about us she can't keep a secret. And not to burst your bubble but she would say that about any guy she thought I would go out with. But in this case she was completely correct we do make a handsome couple." She informed him and she couldn't help but smile when she thought of the two of them even after nearly four years.

"Do you think she would approve of me dating her daughter and practically living with her?" He asked, he couldn't help but wonder. They had been dating for years and he had never been formally introduced to her mum, not as her partner anyway. That was a first for him. Not that Sandra spent much time with her mum he knew their relationship was complicated.

"I thought we were living together? And yes she would. Her initial expectations are very low but once she found out how long you stuck around for…" She knew her mother would be thrilled with their relationship but she didn't trust her mum not to tell anyone and everyone she could find.

"She would have higher standards now?" he asked finishing her thought.

"No she would love you even more. But she would have higher expectations for us; she would expect you to marry me." Her mother would not understand why Sandra refused to marry him and she wouldn't let it go she would nag her all the time.

"I would tell your mother that I would gladly marry you it is you who won't have me." He said with a rather cheeky grin.

"She would hardly be surprised and you know my reasons." She reminded him once more.

"Yes and I know one day you will be going to these stupid receptions with me." He told her and then leaned over and kissed her.

"We'll see but for now I refuse to cuddle up here on the sofa any longer while you have another woman's lip stick on your collar." She replied sternly in mock anger when she caught sight of his shirt again remembering what started this whole conversation.

She expected him to get up and change. Instead he proceeded to remove his tie and then his shirt which he then threw behind them onto the kitchen floor. He once again pulled her into his arms this time with a giant smile on his face.

"Better?" he asked and all she could do was laugh.

"I do love you" she said finally and then kissed him for good measure.

"Didn't you date a male model?" he asked remember another one of her cases.

"He was a former male model turn artist and he drew my picture too," teased him.

"Please tell me where not talking a la Titanic." He begged, he wasn't sure he could take it if a man had drawn her naked.

"As much as I would love to see your face if I said yes, no I was fully clothed, he was interested in my ears." She told him laughing at the thought.

"Really?" he asked surprised by the man's interests.

"Yes, are you saying there is something wrong with my ears?" she huffed.

"No just wondering how a guy could focus only on your ears when every part of you is fantastic. I could never focus on just one spot. Though I do like to linger on these magnificent lips of yours and the devilish tongue hiding inside." He told her and as he did he caressed her face and then cupped it with both hands drawing her close and kissing her.

"Well maybe that's why I'm with you and not him." She moaned kissing him back.

A/N A bit of fluff to start the weekend off with. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	34. Setting Out Your Stall

Setting up you Stall

Robert Strickland walked out into the hall outside Olivia's office just in time to catch her.

"Sandra" he called after her, running to catch up.

"Sorry I need to go, we'll look into the case tomorrow." She told him glancing down at her phone.

"You just said all of that in there, what's wrong?" He asked her concerned. He had no idea what the phone call she received was about but it had clearly upset her.

"My mum is here" she sighed.

"I thought she wasn't coming till-"

"Yeah so did I but she's here and now I have to go deal with her." She told him getting more and more agitated by the minute.

"I guess that means I'm back at my place for the week," he moaned.

"Yeah I know I'm sorry, but she can't know it just wouldn't go well." She reminded him quietly. She knew he didn't like the idea of hiding their relationship her mum but he reluctantly agreed but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty over it.

"I know I've just gotten so use to coming home to you and sleeping with you in my arms," he whispered.

"You're not the only who has gotten use to that. This week is going to be hell." She complained she had not been exactly thrilled that her mother had insisted on coming to visit.

"I want nothing more than to kiss you but people will see." He said softly in her ear.

"I know sometimes I hate the rules we have. I gotta go. I'll call you." She said heading out of the building and into her car.

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As the car drove away with her mother Sandra didn't know what to think, but she knew exactly what she wanted to do. She pulled her mobile out of her pocket hitting the necessary keys on her Blackberry.

"Hi she just left" she told Strickland as she walked back inside her place.

"Does that mean I get to come home?" he asked hopefully. He was tired of being stuck at his place alone. He hated being alone now and it was very boring at his flat without her or the kids. They had talked every night over the phone but it was nowhere close to being the same.

"Yes please," she practically begged him, she had missed his comforting presence all week.

"You alright you sound…strange?" he asked concerned.

"I…I don't know… I" She signed, her mother always had this ability to make her feel like the world had been filliped upside down.

"Hey it's okay I'll be right over." He promised her, he was already heading out his office door.

"Thank you" she said letting out a deep breath she had been holding.

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"Sandra" Strickland called as he entered the house.

"In here" she called from the kitchen. He entered the room and found her chopping up vegetables.

"What are you doing?" he asked slightly confused, he had expected to find her starting on her second bottle of wine, not doing prep work for dinner.

"I'm cooking what does it look like, I'm making a roast for dinner." She told him with a smile and an air of determination.

"Why didn't you warn me I could have picked up take away on the way home." He joked as he saw she was in a better mood than he expected.

"Hey" she said throwing a tea towel at him. "I can cook."

"Yes I know you can, though I do seem to remember quite a few attempts have turned out burnt and inedible over the last few years. Needless to say when you cook you usually aren't happy with the results." He reminded her, he knew he was risking upsetting her but he would rather upset her now then when the smoking meat came out of the oven.

"This time will be different." She replied determined to get this one right. "And you were the reason most of those meals didn't turn out." She reminded him with a look

"Yes that might be true...Can I help then?" he asked sincerely.

"I don't know, I have never actually watched you make half of those dinners you served, how do I know you actually can cook?" She said playfully.

"Damn you found out my secret I have been using magic to cook all these years." He replied continuing their playful banter.

"Very funny, well get over here then and start chopping some celery" she instructed him.

"Yes Ma'am," he said with a grin.

"Oh how I love that response." She teased him with a grin to match his.

They made quick work of the vegetables and soon the roast was in the oven and they were on the sofa wine in hand.

"I missed you." She admitted to him as she cuddled in his arms.

"I missed you too I would ask how things went but I think I already know." He could tell that neither of them had a particularly good week.

"Oh" she asked raising an eye brow.

"Neither one of us was exactly in a great mood this week." He responded tentatively not sure how she was going to react.

"Yeah and I think we only managed to take it out on each other." She agreed with a sigh, it was not one of their better weeks.

"Yes I particularly liked how you managed to get me all tongue tied earlier." He scolded her though he knew she was far from repentant.

"Oh it was so easy." She grinned having some wine and shooting him a teasing look.

"I was distracted" he countered but it came out as more of a moan.

"By what we were in the hall alone?" she exclaimed.

"By you" he admitted.

"Me?" she asked with a laugh.

"Yes I was or rather I still am a frustrated man right now It has been a whole week of pretending I wasn't your partner and that had the result of making me want you even more." He explained as he ran his fingers up and down her arm and then moved on to her thigh. "You were right there in front of me and I wasn't allowed to touch or kiss, all I could do was look.

"Oh I know, though my mother has a way of crushing those desires when she starts in on me. Boy did she mess everything up this week." It was her turn to moan, she was just as frustrated as he was and his fingers were very distracting.

"Well I didn't get that much sleep this week." He admitted as he began kissing her neck and exposed shoulders.

"I had a lot of wine and that didn't help still couldn't sleep." She sighed, though she wasn't tired as the moment.

"And you're mum probably didn't help." He added which caused her to reflect on the past week, this had the effect of stopping her desire.

"It was a disaster," she said pulling away forcing him to stop his torture as she continued to talk. "We can't talk to each other we just can't communicate and I don't know why." She moaned unhappy with her relationship with her mum, it frustrated her that they couldn't make things work. "Every time we talk I always feel like I'm on the defensive, I'm always doing something wrong. I have to defend every part of my life. I love my life, I love my job, and I love you. Why can't she understand that?" She cried she didn't understand why her mum couldn't just accept that she was happy and leave her alone.

"Well not to defend her actions in any way but she doesn't know about you and me, maybe if she knew she would ease up on you." He offered by way of a possible explanation and solution.

"See that makes sense to you and me but not to her. No she would move on to why aren't we married and having children, though I am sure you can agree the ship has sailed on any more children. And have no doubt if we did all of that then she would get on me about working and tell me I should be home more instead of at work. And then I would kill her." She sighed downing her wine, it was always something with Grace she could never win.

"Justifiable homicide I think." He said with a smile. "She is your mum she just wants you to be happy," he reminded her.

"But only if I'm happy the way she thinks I should be happy." Sandra couldn't help but wonder what life would be life if her father were still alive, but she quickly pushed the thought away it would do no good to go down that rabbit hole for the millionth time in her life.

"Have you told her you're happy?" He asked her, he really wished Sandra and Grace could get along.

"Yes, she never believes me. She can't imagine that I might be happy when I don't have the things in my life she deems important. And even if I did she would still find something in my life that was wrong to complain about, that is just the way she is" she continued trying to explain how frustrating her mother was.

"I'm sorry, I do think things might be better with her if she knew about us, I understand why you don't want to tell her but, I think she might understand where you are coming from when you talk to her." He would do anything if it made mother and daughter closer.

"It is more than that we just don't communicate right. This whole week we were on complete different levels. We didn't seem to spend that much time together. Then she shows up at work and tries to blackmail me into going out to lunch with her while I was in the middle of a case."

"Can you fault her for wanting to spend time with you?" he asked her. She was Grace's only child after all.

"It is how she goes about it; she knows she can't just show up to work. And she does that and yells at the desk sergeant, gets you to bring her down causing us to fight which was probably the exact opposite reaction she was hoping for. She shows up early and then once we finish the case and I can actually spend some time with her she says that is time for her to go." She was ranting by this point and if she hasn't been exceeding comfortable in his arms she would have started pacing.

"I'm sorry" he tired but she cut him off she was clearly on a roll.

"No, all you're thinking is how much better this whole week and her whole visit would have been if we had just told her, so she knew and there was no disruption to our lives. And it's not entirely true you don't understand how she can be. You have met her what twice for all of ten minutes…" She was beginning to get upset and he watched as her eyes filled with tears of frustration.

"Hey no I don't think any of that I know you have a difficult relationship with your mother. Do I wish I could have spent the week here with you, yes of course I do. But I understand why we did what we did. All I care about now is making you feel better." He said taking her in his arms holding her close and rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry it's been a stressful week" she cried as a few tears escaped.

"I know" he said trying to comfort her.

"I know you do sorry" she apologized, deep down she knew he was just trying to be help but this was what her mother did, she drove her crazy. And her tears were more from frustration than anything else. She wanted to have a normal relationship with her mother the kind that most other women had.

"Why don't we go upstairs and I can show you just how much I missed you this week. I think you might feel be bit better as well." He proposed it had been his intention to seduce her before he foolishly brought up her mother's visit.

"That actually sounds really nice, but what about dinner?" she asked. She was torn between him and her prefect roast.

"It still has a while to cook it will be fine." He reassured her as he stood them both up and headed towards their bedroom.

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Strickland needed to wake up but he didn't know why and more importantly he didn't want to, he was nice and warm. And he felt content and complete for the first time all week. Yet the feeling was getting stronger and it continued to pull him out of his sleep. As consciousness returned he noticed that it smelled like something was burning. But that made no sense nothing should be burning.

He bolted straight up and the smell got worse. He jumped out of bed and ran down stairs to the kitchen. He pulled the well overcooked and smoking roast out of the oven and dumped the whole pan in the kitchen sink. He turned the faucet on dousing the burning meat in water. Luckily there was not that much smoke it hadn't yet blanketed the kitchen or turned the smoke alarm on.

As the burnt meat slowly became submerged in water Strickland's heart rate began to return to normal. After a while he turned the water off with a sigh and looked around the kitchen. That was when he saw Sandra standing in the door way watching him. She was clearly still trying to wake up and process what had happened.

"That is not my fault." She said looking around at the smoky room. "Don't try and use this against me when you tell me I can't cook because this is all your fault. You are the one who took me upstairs and had your way with me so much that we both passed out afterwards." There was no way she was taking the blame for this, it was all his fault. The scene was quite comical and she had to fight the desire to laugh now that the danger to them and the house had been dealt with.

"We were both quite tired after this week; clearly we were so tired we didn't hear the timer go off." He said still trying to catch his breath.

"I'm glad you woke up that could have turned out very badly. I would not have been too happy if we burned down the house, though I suppose it would have been a fitting end for this terrible week." She sighed as she surveyed the lingering smoke and soaking burnt roast.

"Well that needs to soak for a while I will open a window to get the smell out, why don't you decide where you want delivery from cause I don't see us eating any other way tonight do you?" He asked as he opened the window as promised.

"No you're right." She said resigned to the fact that once again her dinner was ruined.

"Let me ask you a question." He said as they sat on the sofa finishing up their Chinese, the ruined roast forgotten.

"Okay" she replied a little worried as to where he would take this.

"Say you actually said yes when I asked you to marry me," he began carefully.

"Right" she responded curious as to what he would ask her.

"What kind of weddings would you want?"

"Seriously?" she exclaimed, that was not was she was expecting at all.

"Yes, I'm curious, you are always so adamant that we can't get married I never have really gotten the chance to ask. Are you going to answer the question?" he asked challenging her; he knew she would have to answer him now.

"I am humoring you only because it has been a very long week. I would want something small and simple the only people who needs to be there are the important people to us. The kids, Gerry, Jack, and Brian, my mum and your family obviously, and whoever else you thought needed to be there. Just something small and intimate. Why what did you have in mind?" She asked very curious as to how he would answer the question.

"Exactly the same thing" he replied smiling at her.

"Well that's good to hear that will save us arguments down the road. But for now did you get whatever it was you hoped to get out of that question?"

"Yes I think I did" he replied content that they would be having that small wedding one day.

"Good because right now all I want to do is just forget this week ever happened." She sighed lying back against the sofa.

"I don't know there must have been something good that happened this week," he countered.

"Except for catching a serial rapist for you, name one thing." She threw the question right back at him.

"Ah..."

A/N Sorry it is so late today hope you enjoy and thanks for reading and the reviews.


	35. Moving Traget

A/N This chapter has a bit of violence nothing too graphic but more than anything the previous chapters have had, just a heads up.

Moving Target

Strickland watched as the man hit Sandra across the face with the back of his meaty hand. He struggled to get up to protect her but two extremely large men held him back. They were doing it to hurt him they wanted him to talk. But he had no answers to give them. And so they hit her again. These were not the type of people who cared about hitting a woman; they were thugs of the lowest kind. He watched as the blood slid down the side of her head. The last blow had split her lip open and more blood appeared. She was tied to one of the dining room chairs, held hostage in their own home. He could see the tears slide down her cheeks but she was trying so hard not to cry out. She didn't want to give these men the satisfaction, yet he knew she was scared and in pain. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her everything would be alright.

"This stops when you tell me what I want to know." The man who had hit her told him.

"I don't know" he shouted at the man.

"You expect me to believe that a deputy assistant commissioner doesn't know the name of an informant. Come now just give me the name and we let her go." The man said with a sickening smile.

"I am telling you the truth I don't know the name, the source is anonymous the identity protected even from the highest levels. I can't tell you what I don't know. Now please just let her go," he begged.

"I'm not going to let her go until you give me a name."

"I can't I don't know" Strickland cried why couldn't this crazed man understand.

"Then find out. One call gets me the name." The man growled as he picked up the nearby phone.

"They won't give me the name the informant is protected their name will not be released until the case is prosecuted and they testify in court. It's to prevent things like this from happening." He could see anger flare up in the man's eyes and to his horror he turned and backhanded Sandra so hard he was sure her nose broke. He heard her cry out chocking on the blood. He struggled once more to get to her as she spit blood out of her mouth but as before he couldn't move.

"You better convince him to tell me." He said talking to her. "It's your life on the line not his. You better start pleading."

"He's telling you the truth its police procedure in high profile cases like this." She managed to get out.

"Wrong answer" he said pulling out a knife. He plunged it into her exposed thigh. She screamed out in pain as even more tears flooded her eyes. The man gave each of them a horrible grin and then pulled the knife back out causing her to scream again. "I would start thinking of a plan to get me this information if I were you."

"There is no way even if you threaten to kill us no one is going to give you the name," Strickland hissed.

The man growled and plunged the knife into her other thigh. She tried to hold back the cries but she was unsuccessful and her screams filled the house once more.

"Please stop this I can't tell you, if there was any way I could don't you think I would gladly hand over that scum to you so you will stop hurting her. But I can't there is no way." He tried once more to reason with this monster.

"I am going to give you one last chance." He said grabbing some left over rope. He walked behind Sandra and wrapped the rope around her neck using it as a garrote. He then slowly tightened it cutting off some of her air. "You tell me the name or you get to watch her die." Her eyes went wide pleading for him to help her, though they both knew there was nothing he could do. A few more tears rolled down her face.

"I can't tell you I don't know" Strickland yelled. The man only tightened the rope. He could see it in her eyes she couldn't breathe. He fought with all his strength against the men holding him but no matter what he did the two men held firmly on to him. "I don't know," he screamed. The rope got tighter. "I don't know" he growled. He watched as she tried to fight desperate to breath but there was nothing she could do. He struggled violently against the men holding him, he needed to get free he needed to save her. He tried with everything he had, he tried to kick them, he threw his body weight against them but couldn't get free and he watched as the life went out of her body. "NO" he screamed she couldn't be dead she wasn't suppose to die. "NO you bastard." He cried as tears ran down his face. His whole world just shattered around him, he couldn't live without her he didn't want to live without her. "SANDRA" he yelled desperate for her to wake up but she didn't. She was gone and with him was his will to live. He didn't care what they did to him now. "Sandra please" he sobbed prayed for her to come back to him.

"NO" he screamed sitting up and panting. He desperately searched the room with his eyes. Nothing looked out of place; the dining room chairs were all where they belonged. The TV was on and some infomercial was playing. He quickly turned it off and listened. The house was quite. Nothing seemed to be wrong, no unwanted guest in the house, but he didn't trust it. He flew up the stairs as fast as he could, tripping once in his haste.

"Sandra" he called out as he flung open the bedroom door.

"Wh-what? What's going on?" She asked sitting up confused but her sudden wake up call. He was next to her on the bed immediately. He cupped her face in his hands searching for any harm and when he found none he kisses her. He pulled back and looked at the rest of her body and again found nothing as he ran his hands over her. He then pulled her into his arms his hand holding her head against his chest. "Robert what's going on, you're scaring me."

"You're alive." He said breathlessly.

"Am I not supposed to be?" she asked confused.

"I had a nightmare. These guys broke into the house they attacked you and killed you because I wouldn't tell them what they wanted to know." He gasped holding her tight for fear she might disappear.

"It was just a dream it wasn't real I'm here you're here we're both safe and no one hurt me okay." She said trying to calm him down. He still hadn't let her go so she couldn't kiss him as she wanted to. Instead she just let him hold her. After several minutes she could hear his heart return to a more normal rhythm. And slowly he began to relax only then did he loosen his grip on her.

"You want to try lying down?" she asked hopefully their position was not the most comfortable one.

"I guess." He answered as he pulled her down on the bed with him not willing to let her go.

His breathing had finally returned to normal when a thought came to her.

"Robert ?" she asked breaking the silence when she suddenly remembered events from earlier that night.

"Yeah?" he replied slightly confused.

"Did you fall asleep in front of the TV?"

"Yes I did" he answered unsure where she was going with her question.

"You fell asleep watching that horror movie didn't you?" She said sitting up to look down at him now that she was free from his arms.

"Maybe" he responded sheepishly remembering the night's earlier events. His nightmare was beginning to make a bit more sense to him.

"The home invasion horror film, the one I told you not to watch that late at night." She cried smacking his arm.

"Ow yes, yes okay I did I should have listened to you. I'm sorry." He cried apologizing to her. She had warned him but he got sucked into the film and he couldn't stop watching.

She lay back down in his arms with a smug look on her face. "You are as bad as your son." She said reminding him of the time Roo watched a horror movie without anyone knowing and then was up half the night afraid some monster was going to come steal him.

"Yeah I know" he sighed he was totally embarrassed by the whole thing but the images of the nightmare where still too fresh in his mind.

"You scared the crap out of me" she moaned adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

"I'm sorry. It was so real and vivid the guy kept hitting you and then he-"

"Don't you dare tell me about your nightmare as I am trying to fall asleep I don't want your bad dreams." She exclaimed she didn't need nightmares as well.

"I thought I was supposed to tell you about the dream to make it better." He asked slightly confused.

"Not when it is your own fault and I am trying to go back to sleep" she told him with an exasperated sigh.

"Sorry you're right. I'm just so glad you're alive I had to watch the guy strangle you to death." It was hard to convince his mind that the images were just a dream it was just far too real for his liking.

"Robert!"

"Sorry" he moaned he didn't want to scare her as well but it was hard not to talk about what he saw.

"I am very much alive and I will hit you again if you keep talking about this." She said reprimanding him slightly.

"Right I'm so sorry."

"You should be for waking me up in the middle of the night. If I can't go back to sleep now it is your fault." She said trying to be angry with him but she just couldn't manage to. She could understand how he was feeling on more than one occasion she had her own nightmares of him being killed or Gerry, Jack and Brian being hurt or killed. It was an occupational byproduct of being a cop they saw the worst of humanity and crime scene photos were not something that could be easily forgotten.

"I really am sorry I woke you up and scared you like that" he said pulling her close to him, she didn't even try to stop him instead she snuggled up with him.

"Its okay I suppose and I am sure it was terrifying I can only imagine. But I promise you it was just a dream. Maybe if we talked about something else?" She suggested trying think of some way to help him forget his nightmare.

"I will try... where Gerry, Jack, and Brian upset that they won't be part of that study of older people in the work place?" He asked, it was the only thing he could think of that had nothing to do with his nightmare.

"No not really and I personally think it is better this way, no one should study those three" she told him laughing a little at the end.

"You are probably right" he sighed. They were both silent for a while Sandra had closed her eyes trying to fall back to sleep again when Strickland finally began to talk again.

"I know you don't really want to hear…" he began tentatively he needed to talk to her about the feeling his nightmare had caused.

"It's okay I'm awake now you might as well" she said with a sigh.

"It was so real and I thought I had lost you, lost you forever and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't live without you." He couldn't even stand the thought of her being gone it made his chest tight he could barely breath.

"Hey I'm right here in your arms nothing is going to happen I'm not going anywhere." She told him trying to reassure him and make him feel better.

"I know but I couldn't live if something happened to you. I won't let anything happen to you I can't." He said firmly he could barely stomach the idea of anything happening to her.

"That goes both ways you know, I couldn't bear to live without you either." She informed him and then leaned over to kiss him. "Why don't we both try and get some sleep, have better dreams."

"Sounds good" he replied holding her close.

"Robert" she said after a minute.

"Yeah?" he asked unable to hold back the yawn that escaped from his lips.

"No more horror films."

A/N Hope there wasn't too much violence and you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and the reviews. (Sorry I fixed the title on this don't really know where my head was guess that is why you shouldn't post a story while on the phone with your mum.)


	36. Hermione

A/N This is another stand alone story featuring Strickland's children I hope you like it.

Hermione

"Sandra!" Rufus called out from the sofa the moment she entered Strickland's house.

"Hi Roo, where are your father and your sister?" She asked focused on her task at hand.

"In the kitchen" he answered jerking his thumb in the appropriate direction.

"Good stay here," she told him as she walked into the kitchen. He gave her a curious look but did as she told him.

"Hi Sandra" Hermione's face lit up when she saw the older woman it made Sandra's heart drop a little, but she steadied herself determined to follow through on her intended course of action.

"Hi" Strickland called looking up from the pot he was stirring on the stove. The two were clearly cooking dinner. She felt another pang of guilt for interrupting their time together but this needed to be dealt with immediately.

"Hi," she said quickly. "Hermione you and I are going upstairs to have a conversation right now." She ordered sternly, the look she gave the two told them both she was in no mood for an argument.

"Ah...okay" the teen replied, slowing walking out of the kitchen, sending her father a questioning look over her shoulder.

"Sandra what's going on?" He asked confused and slightly concerned.

"This is between me and her right now." She informed him making it clear she was not happy with the situation but she needed him to stay out of it. She then quickly followed the girl up to her bedroom closing the door behind them.

"Sandra what's up" Hermione asked trying to sound nonchalant but she could tell the girl was nervous.

Sandra couldn't help but smile inwardly knowing she could still scare and intimidate with just a look. It wasn't as though she wanted to have to reprimand the girl, but she had been conned into taking responsibility for this social media thing, so she didn't have much choice.

She would willingly admit she didn't mind yelling at Gerry and when her and Jack had argued, it was over something real. But yelling at Hermione was like yelling at Brian, something she really didn't like doing, but when forced she would. Yet this wasn't work and she was a little concerned that the girl wasn't going to like her anymore, but that had never stopped her before and she found she wasn't able to stop herself now.

"This is about what you posted on Facebook yesterday" she said pulling a print out of the offending message and showing it to the teen.

"That was just a joke" Mione said visibly relaxing.

"A joke?" she yelled causing the girl to jump a little. "Hermione Strickland sit your butt down on that bed right now and listen to me. This" she said pointing at the paper "is not something you joke about. I'm sure you don't pay attention to the news but there has been quite a lot of cyber bullying going on and you will have no part of it." Sandra snapped shocked that Hermione would try and defend her actions as a joke.

"But my friends know it is a joke," she protested weakly. Seeing how upset Sandra appeared to be made her nervous. She had never seen the woman so angry and certainly had never been on the receiving end of one of her lectures.

"Do they, are you sure all of them? What if one or more of them doesn't understand this is a joke? How would you feel if one of your friends didn't know you were joking and took it seriously?" She visibly saw the girl's face drop and Sandra knew she was finally getting through to her. "That is not something you can just easily fix with an 'I'm sorry' if they were to take you at your word." Sandra continued, she was going to make sure Hermione got the message loud and clear.

"I didn't think about that I don't want anyone to think I'm being serious." The teen moaned, the thought had never crossed her mind and she felt sick at the idea.

"That is why you have to be careful when you write messages or comments online. There is no way to indicate that you are making a joke, even those little faces-"

"Emojis" the girl provided for her.

"Yes those, they don't even convey that you are joking properly." Sandra explained, her tone softening a bit now that Mione understood the seriousness of what she had done. "Whenever you say something online leave the jokes and sarcasm for in person or over the phone conversation. Always think about how people could read or misread what you're saying. These comments are not something you want people misunderstanding are they?"

"No" Hermione replied quickly.

"So don't even think about joking about them online. And I would be really careful joking about them in general." She warned the girl, she knew Hermione was a good kid, her reaction confirmed it but Sandra knew even good kids made stupid mistakes and Hermione needed to know she had made one.

"I'm sorry I really didn't mean it. Are you going to tell dad and mum?" She asked solemnly, knowing what she did was wrong. She wished she had never posted that stupid comment on Facebook now.

"No not this time, we talked about the rules and we all agreed the first time you did something I would tell you to stop, you do it again and I tell your dad and he can choose what to tell your mum." Sandra reminded her. The three of them, her, Strickland and his daughter had all sat down and agreed to these rules when Sandra agreed to be the one to monitor the girl's social media accounts.

"He will tell her that was their agreement when something happened to one of us, no secrets" Hermione sighed.

"Well there you go. So here is what you are going to do. You are going to delete the post apologize to your friends for doing it and never do it again. Understood? Or do you just want me to tell your dad now because I will if you don't listen to me..." She threatened her trying to be stern once more but it was so much harder now that the teen was contrite.

"No I will I promise. My computer is down stairs I will do it after dinner I promise." Mione responded quickly, grateful for the chance Sandra was giving her.

"Okay I will be checking tomorrow morning you have till then, deal?" Sandra promised.

"Yes thank you." The girl replied though she was still looked unhappy.

"Hermione" Sandra sighed as she sat down on the bed next to her. "This is how you wanted it. You wanted me to be the one who checks your page and this is what is going to happen. If you would rather your parents check it I can just show your dad your page and not be a part of this. God know I don't want to be the one yelling at you about this. But this was your choice and I am going to keep you safe." She said being honest with her, she hated doing this.

"No I want you to do it, if you read that message the way you did then dad would have thought it was worse and he would have lost it. I'm just sorry I made you mad and upset you." Hermione said quickly pleading and apologizing.

"Oh Mione I'm not mad, surprised you would say that and maybe a little disappointed."

"I didn't mean to disappoint you I'm sorry." The girl looked like she was going to cry and Sandra's heart began to break a little. She was not cut out to yell at kids that hadn't actually committed a crime.

"Come here" she said opening her arms and the girl practically launched herself into them. "I'm not disappointed any more. You know what you did wrong and I honestly believe you won't do it again. Unfortunately this is going to happen from time to time it is part of growing up you make mistakes and your friends usually are the ones quite happy to help you make those mistakes and egg you on. You just have to learn from your mistakes or you're just wasting your time." She tried to comfort the girl while trying to impart some of her knowledge on the teen. Heaven knows her own friends got her in plenty of trouble when she was a teenager.

"I'm sorry Sandra" Hermione repeated.

"It's okay" Sandra replied rubbing the teens back before letting go of her.

"Thank you for not flipping out" Mione added.

"I will if you do it again" she warned, but she couldn't refrain from smiling a little.

"Never again" the teen professed.

"You want to go back down stairs?"

"I guess, isn't dad going to wonder what this was about?" Hermione asked a little worried.

"Leave your dad to me" she laughed beginning to stand up.

"Ah Sandra can I ask you a question" Mione asked nervously.

"Sure" she replied curious as to what Hermione was afraid to ask her, and she sat back down on the bed.

"Where is your dad?" the girl asked quietly.

Sandra was a bit taken a back "I'm sorry?" she asked not quite sure how to respond.

"I've heard you and dad talk about your dad, you two argued about him or at least dad doesn't seem to like him. And a little while back dad said your mum came to visit but your dad didn't. Where is he?" Hermione asked, her words came out fast, she was still nervous asking Sandra about this.

"My dad is dead" Sandra told her softly.

"Oh I'm sorry" the girl said apologizing quickly feeling terrible for bringing the whole thing up.

"No it's okay" Sandra reassured the teen. She just hadn't been expecting the topic to come up.

"What happened?" Mione asked but Sandra didn't answer her right away. "Sorry you don't have to talk about it. I shouldn't have asked." Hermione babbled misunderstanding Sandra's silence as a desire not to talk about it.

"No I'm just not sure how much your dad would want me to tell you." She told the girl, the story was hardly one meant for a thirteen year old girl. She would have preferred to have talked to Strickland before having this conversation but that option was not longer available.

"I'm almost fourteen I'm not a child." Sandra looked at the girl, she looked so young yet she was almost the age Sandra was she he died. How was it she felt so much older when it happened.

"I was fourteen when he died, so it funny you put it that way. My mum told me he had a heart attack but I learned a few years ago that he actually killed himself." She began explaining to the girl making the quick decision to be honest but to keep certain details back.

"So you where my age when he died?"

"Yeah, just a little older" she replied with a sad smile.

"I can't imagine what it would be like if dad died." Hermione contemplated with a frown on her face, she had never thought that he dad could just die one day.

"You will never have to worry about that." Sandra answered with a note of firm finality in her voice, it was meant to reassure the girl that her father wasn't going anywhere.

"Can I ask why my dad doesn't like him is it just because he killed himself?" The teen asked still a bit nervous with these questions, she didn't want to upset Sandra.

"My dad was a police officer" Sandra began.

"Is that why you became one?"

"Yeah it was." She answered smiling. "Well my Dad made some mistakes and he got himself into some trouble. And that is why he did what he did. And he hid some stuff from my mum and I and your dad doesn't like that." She continued trying to cover the big stuff without giving her details.

"But you loved him?"

"Yes very much."

"Seems to me that's all that matters, not all that stuff you found out later." Sandra marveled at how easy it was for kids to focus on the truly important stuff when it came to family relationships. "I'm sure my Dad understands that."

"He does, I was just a bit upset when I found out some of the stuff, I was sad and he wasn't sure what to do."

"And dad really doesn't like it when you're upset." Mione wisely observed with a half smile.

"Yeah he is really good like that. But you're right I prefer to remember my dad the way he was to me and not all the things I found out. And your dad is coming round to that." She admitted smiling a little at this.

"I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories." Hermione apologized still worried she had asked about things she shouldn't have.

"No you didn't no worries. You know you can ask me anything, always." Sandra told her trying to reassure the girl that she did nothing wrong.

"Thank you for telling me and thank you for everything." Hermione said giving Sandra an appreciative smile.

"You and your dad weren't making dinner were you by any chance?" Sandra asked, now that the problem at hand had been resolved she realized how hungry she was.

"Yeah we were" the girl confirmed with a grin.

"Good I'm starving" Sandra replied returning the smile. "Think it will be ready soon?" she wondered.

"It should be."

"What do you say we go check it out?" Sandra asked happily.

"Sounds good" Hermione agreed she too was a bit hungry.

Meanwhile Roo was sitting on the couch trying to hear what was going on upstairs. He knew better than to try and sneak up to Hermione's door, Sandra was already wise to him and she didn't seem to be in a mood to mess with.

Once he was finished with dinner and it was in the oven Strickland came and sat down with his son. He too was curious about what was going on upstairs but he would wait till they came back down to find out.

"I think Hermione is in trouble" Roo observed.

"Yeah I think your right" his father answered. The whole situation confused him. Once he thought about it he knew that whatever the problem might be social media was the root cause. It was the only thing Sandra was in charge of, anything else she would have talked to him about first. Clearly Hermione had done something on Facebook or Twitter that Sandra did not like and this was the end result.

"Sandra looked mad" Roo added.

"Yes she did" he agreed with a knowing nod. It was a little strange seeing Sandra upset with someone other than him and the three men on her team.

"I don't think I ever what her mad at me" the boy admitted.

"Trust me I speak from experience you don't." He told his son trying very hard not to laugh. Sandra was quite formidable and until now his children had no cause to see her angry, it was clear that if necessary she was quite capable of disciplining his children. Not that he had ever doubted it. He knew she was tough as nails and could stare down any criminal, but children where different.

What he did know was how much she didn't like being put in this position when it came to his kids. She had made sure he knew that she was not happy having to be the one to police Hermione on the internet as it was, add to that the fact that she would be the one who had to reprimand and possibly punish the girl and she was far from happy. Strickland was sure he would get an ear full on the subject at some later point.

"She has gotten this mad at you before?" Roo asked surprised that his Dad could still get in trouble.

"I have made her far madder than you sister just did." He told the boy with a knowing look.

"I'm not sure she is doing it right though" Roo finally said after sitting on the sofa thinking the situation over for a minute.

"What do you mean?" Strickland asked confused.

"Well there hasn't been much yelling from either of them and I haven't heard Hermione crying at all." Rufus said so matter of fact that he had to once again try hard not to laugh. He did wonder for a moment if he should be concerned that his son associated yelling and crying with being in trouble. Yet thinking back to his own childhood he found he would have said the same thing when he was Rufus' age.

"Oh trust me Sandra knows exactly what she is doing don't forget she interrogates criminals all the time. She doesn't need to full out yell to get your attention." He informed his son, he loved the woman with all his heart but he knew better than anyone how scary she could be.

"Oh is that why it is so quite?" the boy asked

"Probably" Strickland nodded, he was still very curious to know what his daughter had done to land her in the position she was currently in.

"Still I'm going to make sure I never make her that mad." Strickland just smiled at his son and nodded.

About fifteen minutes later Sandra and Hermione emerged and made their way back downstairs. To his surprise they both seemed to be smiling. He was more than a little confused to say the least.

"Please tell me dinner is ready I am starving." She said to him cheerfully. Whatever the two had been talking about had clearly been dealt with.

"I would tell you to go check on it but I'm afraid if I don't go with you there won't be any left for the rest of us." He said winking at her.

"Fine" she sighed and headed toward the kitchen. She knew full well his real reason for coming with her. He wanted to talk to her and she was fine with that as long as she got to eat soon.

Once they were in the kitchen he began to question her. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"It was a Facebook thing," she told him peering into the oven. The sight of the casserole only made her stomach growl again.

"I figured it was either Facebook or Twitter. Are you going to tell me?" he asked trying not to get impatient.

"I didn't like something she posted we talked about it. It is coming down and she knows not to do it again." She said turning to face him, she had been prepared to deal with this.

"Well are you going to tell me what it was she said or posted." He asked her again this time he didn't care if he sounded impatient.

"No" she told him flatly.

"Why not?" he demanded confused, it was his daughter they were talking about after all.

"What is it with you lot forgetting things. We- you, me, and her- all sat down and talked about this. The first time she does something I take care of it unless it is something far too serious. And you both agreed that I got to judge what is serious enough to warrant that. Now are you questioning my judgment?" She asked him give him a pointed look challenging him.

"No" he assured her, he trusted her implicitly he just didn't like being kept in the dark.

"I will tell you exactly what I told her. If you want to change this arrangement be my guest I don't like having to be the bad guy here. This is what we agreed on. If you want to change things going forward then go right ahead. Go talk to her and I will show you her Facebook page every week." She challenged him further; she didn't like having to deal with all the potential teenage drama on social media along with his interrogations.

"No I don't want to change things I trust you I just don't like not knowing what is going on with her." He admitted rubbing his forehead.

"Well get used to it, she is a teenager it is only going to get worse. You set down rules and if you want her to follow them then you have to follow them too. I know that means you don't get to ask her about it but she has to trust that things are going to work the way you say they will. I can't begin to tell you how important that is going to be as she gets older." She told him, speaking from experience, not as a parent but as a former teenage girl.

"I know you're right. So how did she take it getting in trouble with you?" He asked moving on to the other part of their conversation her was interested in. He hoped she was more forthcoming on this topic.

"She didn't fight me really, I thought she would. I was afraid she was going to hate me for it. And I was going to be so mad at you for putting me in that position." She warned him with an accusatory tone. "But I think she was more upset at the thought that she let me down and upset me. I swear it almost broken my heart." She added letting out a sigh of her own.

"She looks up to you a lot, she respects you in a way she doesn't me and her mum." She began to protest but he stopped her. "Hey that's not a bad thing. A lot of weight and responsibility goes along with being a parent and you have to be the bad guy sometimes and they see you as uncool and that is okay as long as they are safe. But sometimes they think I only do it to spite them. They don't want to listen to my reasons because I have been saying no to them their whole lives. You get to be the one who toes the line between parent and friend." He tried to explain to her not only why Hermione cared about her opinion so much, but also to provide her an insight as to why it was different for him as a parent.

"I don't understand why? I have never sided with them I tell them when they have done something wrong" she was more than a little confused. While she understood being a teenager she was not familiar with having a step parent. She had always been thankful her mother never remarried but now she wondered what it would have been like.

"Yes but to them for some reason you seem to be an unbiased party you don't appear to favor Roo over Mione or the other way around you play peace maker. They let you explain things to them and you somehow manage to make them understand. I think it might be the fact that you're not a parent per se you are just in a position of authority. You're a cool adult who can explain how the world really is and they'll listen because you're not the enemy." He explained to her, he did hope his kids didn't seem him as the enemy that often but he wasn't naïve enough to think that they didn't feel that way when he refused to let them do what they wanted to.

"I thought kids were supposed to hate their step parents?" She asked joking slightly though it had been a fear of hers from the start of their relationship.

"I don't think that is true we have seen many blended families that function perfectly well. I know those two love you and part of it is because you're not trying to be their mum so you get to just be a guardian."

"Your ex-wife must hate me" she moaned. She had never actually met the woman; she had never seen any need to. Yet now that she was telling Hermione what she could and couldn't put on Facebook she suddenly felt like she should have met Helen as some point. She hoped the woman didn't hate her but she could understand if she did.

"She has never given me any reason to think that she does." He assured her honestly shaking his head.

"Why ever not?" Sandra asked.

"Because you don't let the kids get away with things, you make them follow the rules. You may be able to explain to them why they're in trouble but you don't let them off, you just manage to calm them down. Most importantly you have never tried to under minded her authority, and let me tell you that is a big deal." He told her taking her hand; it was always a fear as a single parent that the other parent or their new partner would be less than kind to you. "Helen may be a little jealous we both are, but I can assure you she never feels like you are out to get her. We're both lucky; Andrew-the guy she had been seeing- is much the same. I don't exactly like another man being in their life taking my place. But I have never felt like he is actually trying to take my place." He elaborated on the complex relationship between him and his ex-wife and their partners.

"Do you think she feels I am trying to take her place, because that has never been my intention" she told him concerned with this whole issue in a way she never had been before. She once again cursed Facebook and twitter for putting her in this position.

"No I really don't think so, she would have said something trust me. Helen and I put a lot of effort into making this work. I swear we spent more time working on our divorce than we did our marriage." He added with a laugh because it was absolutely true. "We both agreed when we split that the kids where more important than our fights with each other. We recognized that we had to be united on raising them and we had to agree on the rules and stick to them. We won't turn the kids against each other. Turns out we really do work better apart than we ever did together. I suppose that means we should have just remained friends and never gotten married." His laugh was hollow this time. "But it has worked well and both you and Andrew; recognize that. You both try and help us be better parents and I am so thankful for it." He meant that more than he could ever say. He moved closer and took her face in his hands and kissed her.

"So she isn't going to be upset with me handling this Facebook incident?" She asked when they finally broke apart.

"Nope she agreed to the rules too. Honestly she hates Facebook more than I do. She is going to be thrilled that this whole system we set up works and she won't have to deal with it." He gave her a reassuring smile.

"So she is going to react better than you did?" She asked laughing a little

"Yes she will" he promised.

"I'm glad I don't have kids of my own. I couldn't do it I would cave the moment they started to cry." She told him shaking her head. She didn't know exactly what she would have done if Hermione had started to cry.

"No you wouldn't. First those kids are pretty much yours and second I cannot see you; detective superintendent Sandra Pullman caving to a crying teenager." The image was enough to make him laugh out loud.

"There is a reason I'm not actually responsible for punishing her cause I don't think I would cave, I am telling you I would." He just laughed a bit more.

"You two were up there for a while." He observed once he had stopped laughing.

"We would have been down sooner but Hermione had a question for me." She told him as a lead in to the topic she was a bit uneasy talking to him about.

"Oh dare I ask?"

"She asked me about my dad. She heard us fighting about him at some point; she wanted to know where he was and why you didn't like him." She informed him, for all their fighting about her dad she couldn't believe they never had even considered what to tell his kids if they ever asked.

"I'm sorry" he replied looking away from her, he always felt guilty for disliking her dad but he couldn't change how he felt. He did feel terrible that his kids had overheard them fighting about Gordon Pullman.

"No it's okay I told her some stuff but not a lot, I did tell her that he killed himself hope that is okay?" She asked biting her bottom lip unsure how he would react.

"Yes of course whatever you are comfortable telling her" he replied trying to assured her that he was okay with whatever she was comfortable telling either of his kids.

"I didn't tell her about Tom. We don't …I don't …" She didn't know how to finish her thought it was such a complicated situation and she tried to forget about Tom most of the time. She felt guilty about that but the other option was not something she honestly wanted regardless of what her father might want. She and Tom had discovered that it was too hard on both of them to be part of each other's lives.

"You don't really see him, I know you don't want to tell them about him and I fully support that. Gordon was your dad and whatever you want to tell them is okay by me." He assured her his kids where smart enough to understand whatever she chose to tell them.

"But she knows you don't like him," she reminded him.

"I'm sorry" he said again feeling guilty.

"I just wish you could have met the man I knew," she told him not for the first time.

"I'm sorry it's hard for me to get past all the pain and hurt he caused you. I held you sobbing in my arms and I couldn't do anything to protect you or help you." He tried to explain to her why it was so hard for him to forgive her father for hurting her.

"Just being there was enough," it was her turn to reassure him.

"I'm glad but I get the right to dislike anyone who hurts you no matter who they are." He told her with a firmness in his voice.

"I know both you and the guys have strong opinions about him. Jack sure has some and they aren't good. But they know enough not to bring it up. I sometimes wonder if the real reason Jack gave me a shot all those years ago was not because he felt guilty but because he wanted to show my dad what a good copper and a good role model was." She said voicing her thoughts out loud though she would never ask Jack they had a silent agreement of sorts not to bring the subject of her dad up.

"I think he gave you a shot because he saw something in you. I certainly saw it the first time I met you." He informed her pulling her close and kissing her once more.

"Well thank you. The point I was trying to make is regardless of what I found out about my dad or anything else I might happen to find out. I am choosing to remember him as he was to me at the time which was a good loving father." She said with a determination that he could not argue with.

"I'm sorry if I have not always respected that decision" he apologized, she did deserve to love her dad is she wanted to.

"It's okay. Now seriously how much longer does this food have I am starving no joke." She moaned turning in his arms to look back at the oven.

"About five more minutes" he told her with a little laugh.

"Thank god" she signed.

"Just so you know Roo told me he has no desire to ever make you mad like Hermione did today. I suspect that will last till tomorrow and he forgets all about it. Maybe Facebook will be a thing of the past by the time he gets old enough." He informed her that for at least the moment his son had a new respect for her.

"Oh that one is all on you, I am not having anything to do with a teenage boy's Facebook page, and thankfully he isn't going to be as interested in me looking at it either." She countered, there was no way she was going through all this with Rufus as well.

"What you're going to leave me on my own?" he asked in shock.

"You bet, you will have to get a Facebook page of your very own. I get enough teenage bs from Hermione's page as it is." She shot back at him.

"I'm so glad I have a few years till we get to that point" he moaned.

"Yeah" she said peering toward the timer

"Sandra thank you" he told her and there was a seriousness to his tone.

"For what?" she asked confused.

"For doing this with Hermione, I know you didn't really want to and I kind of forced you." He said very appreciative of her actions, he was glad she didn't yell at him for making her do this as he had expected.

"When have you actually forced me to do something?" she asked him with a smirk.

"Outside of work?" he asked her honestly

"Sure" she laughed interested in what he would come up with.

"I suppose never, but still thank you for doing it and for keeping an eye out for her and well thank you for loving them and caring about them." He couldn't imagine how he managed to get so lucky to have found her and he had no idea what he would do without her.

"You know I would do just about anything for them," she truly would do anything for those two kids.

"I know" he nodded.

"Thank you for letting me into your little world" she said kissing him. "Now can we eat?"

A/N I hope you enjoyed the chapter I will leave it up to your imagination as to what Hermione posted on Facebook. Thanks for reading and the reviews.


	37. Object of Desire

Object of Desire

"I need you to trust me I have to do something but I need you to know that no matter what you hear I would never cheat on you." Sandra told Strickland cryptically as they were lying in bed Sunday night.

"Okay, I trust you, you know that" he told her squeezing her hand. He was curious as to what she was up to but he really did trust her.

"You have to stay at your place till I'm done with this case." She informed him hesitantly and she bit her lower lip as she waited for his response.

"Actually I was going to tell you tonight I have to go out of town for the week some stupid conference in Glasgow. So you are free to do whatever it is you need to do." He had been worried about telling her but it seemed things were going to work out for both of them.

"Thank you" she said as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Dare I ask what this is all about?" He was now curious as to what she would be doing while he was away.

"A mistake I made a very long time ago." She answered him cryptically once more.

"Okay" he replied knowing better than to push her. "I will miss you" he told her pulling her closer to him.

"I'll miss you more" she countered kissing him.

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"Did I hear correctly, you recovered a long missing £20 million statue, solved a murder and brought down a bent copper that CIB has been trying to catch, who just happens to be your ex boyfriend all in one week?" he asked her, he was surprised yet very proud of her. It was Friday night and he had found her sitting on the sofa drinking when he got home.

"Yes I might have" she replied taking a large gulp of her wine.

"Wow remind me never to cross you in matters of the heart, you are a dangerous woman." He said with a laugh as he sat down next to her.

"He was a liar back them and he is still one now." She told him harshly but she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"You can be very scary sometimes. I heard there was a little bit of romantic entrapment going on." He inquired laughing a little, he was trying to be playful but he was quite curious what she had been up to all week.

"I may have preyed on his flawed belief that he is irresistible. I didn't sleep with him but I did go pretty far to catch him." She said honestly the wine was making it hard to lie, not that she wanted to lie to him. She had always planned to tell him exactly what happened.

"How far is pretty far?" He asked again more out of curiosity than jealousy or concern for their relationship. He knew work was work and they did what they have to get the criminal. He also trusted her implicitly if she felt it was necessary for a case then he understood and supported her. He knew she wasn't going to throw their relationship away just like that especially not with an ex.

"Flirting lots of flirting, drinks, and a bunch of snogging." She told him flatly taking another drink.

"As I said you are scary." He was a bit concerned about her detached attitude and the hint of self loathing that came with it.

"You are exceedingly understanding I shouldn't have done anything I just did this week." She groaned trying to drown her herself in her overly large glass of wine that was nearly empty.

"Well the way I see it you sort of went undercover this week as the old you. And I told you I trust you." He informed her taking the wine glass out of her hand and putting it on the nearby table. He then took her hand in his and kissed it. It had not escaped his notice that she still hadn't really looked at him. He was worried about her and nothing she said was making him feel any better.

"Yet I still feel terrible about it. And I have had a lot to drink in an attempt to forget it all." She said giving him a sideways glance.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked her, he would gladly listen to anything she wanted to tell him. Even if it was about her kissing another man.

"Nope I don't want to think about James Larsen ever again. I would like to focus on my boyfriend who has never lied to me, has two great kids, and is the best dad and partner. And I want to know how his trip to Glasgow was?" She asked finally looking at him much to his relief.

"Boring but fruitful they are interested in setting up their own UCOS team." He informed her, he suddenly felt like his week had been far less eventful than hers.

"If you say it is 'quite a feather in my cap' I will hit you." She looked at him as she contemplated picking up her wine again. In the end she decided to leave it where he put it, there wasn't much left of it anyway.

"Don't I get to be proud of you?" he inquired confused by her harsh statement

"Yeah but say it that way, when you use pompous clichés like that you sound like a pretentious prat." She whinged at him.

"Oh you have had a lot to drink. I think you need some food. You'll need your energy for what I have in mind. And you'll need to be conscious as well." He told her with a wicked smile.

"Oh and what is that?" She asked as a smile began to spread across her face making him less concerned.

"I have to reclaim my girlfriend." He said with as much pomp and arrogance as he could muster.

"Oh how romantic." She replied with a disapproving look

"Defiantly time to get you food and I can be very romantic. But I was thinking we could have more fun with that ice cream from the freezer than if I just lit some candles and played some music." He informed her, his mind thinking of all the fun he planned to have with her once she was closer to sober.

"Now that you would be right about" she laughed finally moving into his arms.

"I missed you." He told her as he kissed her on the side of her head.

"I told you I missed you more." She replied snuggling deeper into his embrace.

"Oh and how is that possible?" he teased.

"I got a glimpse at I what my life could have looked like. And I didn't like it at all. I like this one so much more." She told him honestly. She closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest listening to his heart beat. She was finally back where she wanted to be.

A/N This episode was the hardest one to incorporate into this story and it is the shortest of all the chapters most likely because of it. I hope it is passable, thank you for reading and the reviews


	38. The Gentleman Vanishes

The Gentleman Vanishes

"Robert I require your assistance immediately." The condescending voice came over Strickland's phone and he had to hold back the groan that threatened to escape.

"Fisher I can't just drop everything" he argued.

"My asking was more a formality" the voice continued.

"Right and how long is this going to take?" He replied annoyed at the request yet it was clear he had no choice.

"I should think we can have this wrapped up by Sunday."

"The whole weekend I have plans Stephen," he complained though as expected his complaint landed on deaf ears.

"Now they are with me, if issues come up it could take through Tuesday but seeing as you will be eager to get back I am sure we will be done on Sunday."

"Fisher" Strickland sighed; Stephen Fisher was the very last man he wanted to spend the weekend with. Dinner with the man was plenty of time spent with the manipulative man whom he considered a friend thirty years ago.

"The sooner you leave Robert the better" the voice reminded him as though he were a child.

"What exactly am I suppose to tell people?" Fisher was intelligence and he could order him around if he chose to but Robert wasn't foolish enough to think he could just tell people he was going off to help the intelligence service he needed an excuse of some type.

"I leave that to you, I will be waiting at your flat Robert. Don't keep me waiting long." The phone line went dead before Strickland could say anything else.

"Shit" he had no idea what he was going to tell Sandra. She was going to be less than please to find out he had to go away for the weekend.

When he reached their office he found the four UCOS members where all seated around the room reading case files. He zeroed in on the sofa where Sandra sat. He briskly into the room much to his regret he didn't have the luxury of time when it came to Stephen Fisher and his games.

"Sandra I need a word with you in your office…right now." He said as he continued walking only stopping once he was safely standing next to her desk.

"Okay" she replied quietly as she got up and followed him the three other men shot her looks of confusion. All she could do was shrug she was as confused they were.

"Sir?" she asked once she too had entered her office.

"Close the door please." She did as he requested shooting him a questioning look.

"Sir?" she asked again once the door was closed.

"I…um…" he had no idea what to say to her.

"Robert?" she questioned sensing that whatever was going on was far from normal.

"I have to go away for a few days." He said refusing to meet her eyes.

"Okay" she said letting out a breath she was holding. "Where are they sending you this time?"

"It's not exactly for work" he admitted still not meeting her eyes.

"Okay will you just tell me what is going on, please?" she asked. She was not use to him being secretive.

"I have to…go help a friend I don't know most of the details right now, but he isn't a friend I can say no to." He explained it wasn't exactly a lie but it was far from the truth.

"Right, so when do you have to leave?" she asked slightly confused by his body language. He was tense shifting his weight back and forth and he wouldn't look at her. She had never seen him act this way and it didn't sit well with her.

"Now, right now actually," he said carefully.

"Now?" she cried.

"Yes I am sorry" he winced he had expected her outburst but he couldn't help but feel guilty.

"When will you be back?" she questioned trying to hide her disappointment.

"Sunday" he replied choosing not to tell her he could be out for a few more days past Sunday. She was already upset he didn't want to make it worse.

"Well that's not too long. Does your friend at least have a name?" She desperately wanted to know more about this trip, she felt very uneasy about it for some reason.

"Ah yeah it's…Steve." It wasn't a lie but Stephen Fisher would have been quite unhappy to be called Steve, yet he couldn't very well tell Sandra he was going off with Fisher. If she knew she would have a hundred more questions most of which he couldn't or wouldn't be able to answer. And he knew Fisher well enough to know that Fisher did not want him sharing any details.

"I am going to pretend it didn't just sound like you tried to tell me your new best friend is Captain America." She joked but couldn't quite bring herself to laugh.

"That's only because we went to see the film last weekend with the kids and you think he's cute." He countered trying to be funny but he too could find little humor to fill his voice with.

"Robert can we be serious, please?" she asked. She wanted to know what was going on where he was going and who he was going with.

"I am not thrilled with him calling in this favor but I don't have a choice and I don't want to leave you but again I don't have a choice." He tried to explain without actually telling her anything.

"Well if he needs your help and you can't get out of it I understand, you'll at lease have your mobile right?" She said hopefully, they always talked every night when he was away.

"Yeah but reception could be spotty," he told her instantly feeling guilty as he watched her face fall.

"Great so I can't even call you?" she complained not even trying to hide her disappointment this time.

"I'm sorry I know the situation is less than desirable." He apologized inwardly cursing Fisher for causing all this.

"It stinks" she moaned. She couldn't even remember the last time they had gone days without talking. Even when her mum came to visit they still managed to talk every night.

"I know and you have every right to be mad at me but I have to leave" he told her glancing at his watch.

"Okay" she said trying to feel more positive than she felt. Then to her surprise he pulled her close and gave her one hell of a goodbye kiss. They had agreed no displays of affection during work hours so she was shocked and concerned by his actions. Strickland was not one to break their rules and his kiss did nothing to calm her nerves.

"I love you" he told her when he finally pulled away.

"I love you too, Sunday right?" she asked looking for confirmation from him, his behavior was making her feel very uneasy.

"Yes" he verified nodding.

"Don't be late" she added her voice was barely above a whispered.

"I won't" he said finally turning to leave. She followed him out standing in the middle of the room as he left.

"What the hell was that?" Jack asked once the younger man was gone.

"You two have never done that before" Gerry added referring to their kiss.

"What's going on?" Brian questioned.

"He has to go away for the weekend," she informed them staring at the doorway where Strickland once was.

"Another conference?" Jack asked.

"No he has to go help a friend."

"You don't think that is code for a little something on the side do you?"

"Gerry" Jack growled at him.

"No I don't Gerry I trust him, he isn't you." She yelled at him, she couldn't believe he would say something like that. His comments on top of her conflicting feeling were enough to send her over the edge.

"Well something is bothering you." Gerry said ignoring her anger and Jack's warning.

"The whole thing was just strange he couldn't or wouldn't tell me anything just said he had to help a friend and he couldn't say no. But he didn't seem to want to go." She tried to be angry at him but by the end she gave up she wasn't in the mood to fight.

"Well we all have these friends I'm sure everything is fine." Gerry said clearly trying to make her feel better, he regretted his earlier comments.

"How long will he be gone for?" Jack asked.

"Till Sunday" she informed them with a sigh.

"That's not bad at all" Jack said trying to cheer her up a little.

"I know I'm sure everything is fine." She agreed sitting back down on the sofa and picking up the file she had been reading.

The other three didn't believe her but they wisely didn't say anything. Instead they spent the afternoon stealing glances at her, checking to see how she was doing. They could tell she was clearly distracted and possibly more than a little upset about Strickland. It was obvious something was up with her because usually she would have noticed them watching her no matter how discreet they were. Yet today she didn't notice at all and they were being fairly obvious. To everyone's relief five o'clock finally rolled around.

"I'm done with this" Gerry said standing up stretching. "Time to go."

"Pub?" Jack asked.

"I would love to but dinner with the ex-wives and kids" he explained

"Ester is making a roast," Brian said putting his coat on. That left Jack looking at Sandra.

"I don't know Jack" she moaned answering his inquisitive look.

"Come on Sandra I'll buy you a curry" He added trying to entice her.

"Okay" she finally gave in she tried to smile but they could all see through it, their boss was sad and a curry wasn't going to fix it.

"Don't worry it will be Sunday before you know it." Jack said trying to raise her spirits a little.

"I know" she replied flatly exiting her office with her handbag and coat. "Night night" she said to the other two.

"Bye" they both answered wishing they could do something to help as Sandra and Jack left the office.

"He is going to have his work cut out making this up to her" Gerry commented.

"You sure can say that again" Brian agreed as he wheeled his bike out the door.

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"Did you two have specific plans for the weekend?" Jack asked Sandra later that evening. They were sitting on her sofa, he was nursing a glass of scotch while she was finishing her second bottle of wine.

"No not really the plan was to relax mainly, maybe catch a film. We had the kids last weekend so this weekend was supposed to be just us doing absolutely nothing." She replied taking a drink.

"Then what's bothering you, he has gone away for the weekend before, it's never bothered you like this. You have no problem being independent, so what is all this about?" Jack pushed trying to find out what had her all out of sorts.

"Oh we both know I have no problem being on my own," she said with a hollow laugh. "I don't know exactly how to explain it. It was something in the way he was acting, in the tone of his voice. Something about this trip just bothers me because it bothered him." She tried to explain it to him but failed. Her instincts as a detective were telling her that there was more to this last minute trip that Strickland was telling her.

"He isn't going to do something stupid or dangerous this is Robert Strickland we're talking about here." He told her trying to reassure her, she didn't need to worry about the man he would come home safe and sound Sunday night.

"He wasn't comfortable with this, whatever this actually is," she continued shaking her head.

"That could have more to do with this friend of his they could have had a falling out over something but he could feel obligated to help him. As Gerry said we all have a friend or two like that. We aren't happy to see them but you can't say no, not when you have history. Though when you get to my age there is less of a chance their still around." He mused; he was sure she was over reacting but he couldn't come right out and say it.

"So are you trying to tell me that this is just a guy thing and I should let it go?"

"Yes, just relax get some sleep our case is over no work to worry about. And it is alright to admit you miss him and didn't want to spend the weekend alone. I am hardly going to judge you neither would Gerry and Brian. I might even be proud of you." He said shooting her a smile.

"Okay Jack don't get too sentimental over there." She said laughing.

"All I'm saying is don't worry Strickland can take care of himself. He probably just got roped into helping a friend move and he is upset he has to do manual labor."

"Jack" she warned but she couldn't help but smile.

"Just promise me you don't think Gerry is right and he is cheating on you?" He didn't want Gerry's big stupid mouth to be causing her to doubt things.

"Christ no I know him he would never could never do that, I really do trust him." She promised him finally flashing him a smile.

"Then stop worrying" Jack told her.

"You're right" she said with a yawn.

"Here let me clear up" he said standing up and taking her empty wine bottle and glass heading for the kitchen. She didn't have a chance to object before he was gone. She stretched and moved so she was lying down on the sofa. Her plan was to just close her eyes for a few seconds, but when Jack returned she was fast asleep. With a smile he covered her with the nearby throw. He cleaned the kitchen a little before he turned out the lights and left her to sleep.

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Sandra nervously bit her bottom lip as she knocked on his door, it was almost ten thirty Sunday night and she didn't know what else to do.

"Don't you think it's a little late" Jack growled as he opened the door.

"Sorry" she said as she came face to face with him.

"Sandra what's wrong?" his tone changing immediately when he caught sight of her. She looked nervous, disheveled and clearly upset.

"Tell me I'm over reacting Jack" she pleaded with him.

"Come in and tell me what's going on." They walked into his living room and he took a seat on his arm chair. But instead of sitting down on the sofa she began to pace in front of him.

"He didn't come home" she blurted out.

"Strickland?"

"Yes, he said we would be back on Sunday. It's Sunday and he didn't come back."

"He didn't go back to his place?" Jack asked hopefully but he knew it was unlikely she would over look a detail like that she was a good detective after all.

"No I went over and checked before I came here. I didn't know where else to go." She was talking quickly wringing her hands.

"I assume you tried calling him?" Jack asked he was at risk of becoming dizzy as he watched her move quickly back and forth.

"Of course I did, several times and not just today, I tried quite a few times over the weekend. Every time it goes straight to voice mail. I'm over reacting right?" She stopped in front of him pleading with him to reassure her that everything was alright.

"You could be," he said at this point he really wasn't sure.

"It's the case we just finished it is affecting my ability to think rationally. It's not like someone kidnapped him for the secrets of nuclear fission." She told him beginning to pace once more.

"No I hardly think that is the case. He could just be caught in traffic and he forgot to turn his mobile back on." He tried to come up with logical explanations that would make her feel better.

"Yes that makes sense." Yet her actions didn't support her words, she continued to pace and wringing her hands again.

"Sandra I'm sure everything is fine there is an explanation and he will tell you once he gets home." He told her trying to calm her.

"I'm sure you're right." Once again her words and actions didn't match.

"Then why are you still acting like a caged animal?" he asked.

"What if he is hurt, why wouldn't he turn his mobile back on and why didn't he call at all. Even if he couldn't get service on his mobile are you telling me there was no phone anywhere and he couldn't tell me he was safe. What if something happened to him, he could be unconscious in a ditch on some country road that no one ever uses and by the time anyone finds him he'll be dead." Her rant ended as a few tears slipped down her face.

"Hey I am sure he is just fine. Now sit down." He stood up directing her to the sofa forcing her to sit. He then poured her a liberal amount of scotch handing her the glass. "Drink" he instructed leaving no room for discussion. She listed to him and drank the dark liquid. A few more tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Sandra, Robert Strickland can take care of himself, he is fine I am sure of it. He will show up some time tonight and you can give him a proper bollocking in the morning." He said firmly giving her no opportunity to argue with him. She nodded taking another drink. She then pulled out her mobile from her pocket checking it, her face told him there was nothing helpful on the phone.

"I don't know what I would do if something happened to him I don't know…" she couldn't even finish the thought.

"Stop don't you dare think like that. You asked me to tell you that you are over reacting. Well I'm telling you, you are over reacting. Robert is not Philip MacKena, no one has kidnapped him, he is not hurt on the side of the road. He went to help a friend and I am sure they got to talking and drinking and he lost track of time. He is probably too drunk to drive and he isn't thinking clearly and he doesn't realize you are worried about him. All he is thinking is that it is late and you will yell at him if he calls. He will show up tomorrow so please just calm down." His tone told her he knew what he was talking about. He needed her to believe what he had just told her simply for her peace of mind.

"Yes I am sure you're right" she said taking a deep breath. She took another large drink downing the rest of the scotch.

"Do you want me to run you home?" he asked her.

"Can I stay, I can't go home to an empty house, I will get swallowed up by my thoughts." She begged him she would go crazy staring at those walls waiting from him to show up.

"Of course you can stay" he assured her. He had never seen her this shaken and emotional before and he was becoming concerned about her. He was glad she had asked to stay with him, as long as he was around he hoped he could keep her from getting crazy.

"Thank you" she sighed in relief.

"More?" he asked thinking more scotch would help calm her.

"Maybe just a little bit more" she reluctantly agreed.

He poured her more than just a little bit, he needed her to calm down and if the end result was her passed out on his sofa that was quite okay with him. She didn't say anything when he handed her the glass she just proceeded to drink it all.

"Take your coat off and get comfortable. I'll find us something on the telly." He instructed her as he sat back down with the remote.

"Thank you" she said giving him a weak smile.

"Always" he promised her with a smile. He hated to see her like this worried and scared about the man she loved. What made it worse was he could do nothing to make the situation better except to be there for her.

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The next time Jack woke it was two in the morning, clearly they both had managed to fall asleep to the TV. He got up and stretched turning off the television he put a blanket over the sleeping woman and headed for the stairs. Once he was upstairs he picked up his mobile and dialed Strickland's number. Just as Sandra had said it went straight to voice mail.

"Robert it is Jack. The moment you get this you call Sandra, she is worried sick about you do you understand me. I don't care where you are or what you are doing you call her." His tone was not the nicest but he didn't care he was not simply going to stand by and watch Strickland hurt Sandra.

With that he hung up. He was a little concerned even when Sandra first told him but he couldn't tell her that, she was on the verge of losing her composure as it was. He needed to calm her not set her off more. Lying down in bed he decided that when the man came back he would have a little chat with him and he might even invite Gerry and Brian to join him.

Jack woke the next morning at his usual time, he dressed quickly and went down stairs to wake his guest.

"Sandra you need to wake up now." He said gently shaking her till her eyes slowly opened.

"Jack?" she asked slightly confused for a moment.

"It's almost 7:30" he told her by way of an explanation.

"What?" she asked sitting up, immediately everything came rushing back to her. She instantly began searching for her phone finding it on the end table.

"Anything?" he asked hopefully.

"No" she replied slight panic in her voice.

"Call him I will start some coffee." He told her as he headed into the kitchen.

"Okay" she said taking a deep breath.

He came back and she was on the verge of tears he could see it in her eyes this had gone beyond worry for her was now panicking.

"Still going to voice mail?" He inquired remaining as calm as he could, he handed her the mug she accepted it but she didn't take a drink.

"I'm not over reacting now am I?" She was practically pleading with him at this point.

"It seems less likely. Go home shower change I will go in to the office and make some discreet inquiries. We will sort it out I promise." He assured her giving her arm a squeeze.

"Okay" she agreed though she was far from happy. She felt like she was stuck in a horrible nightmare and she desperately wanted to wake up.

"Sandra it is unlikely that something has actually happened to him. But if something has you need to stay focused," he reminded her and encouraged her. Having a complete breakdown right now was not going to help anyone.

"Yeah you're right." She agreed handing him the still full mug of coffee and heading for the door.

Once Sandra was gone Jack called both Gerry and Brian informing them that he needed them to get to the office as soon as possible. He didn't tell them what it was about except that they really needed to beat Sandra in. He then took a trip to Strickland's flat on his way to the office just to make sure the man wasn't at home. Once again he came up short, he didn't see a car in the garage and no one answered the door. Giving up finding the man at home he set off for the office.

"What's this all about Jack?" Gerry asked the moment he walked through the office door with Brian right behind him with his bike.

"Strickland" Jack answered him dryly

"What about him?" Brian asked confused.

"He didn't come back last night and Sandra is a mess quite worried about him. He isn't answering his phone; she says he didn't all weekend." He explained looking up from his computer.

"So what do you want us to do?" Gerry demanded rubbing his face; it was too early in the morning for this type of drama.

"Make discrete inquires, talk to his assistant, check the hospitals and …the morgue." He ended his statement quietly he didn't like to the thought that the man could be dead but unfortunately they couldn't rule anything out.

"But I thought he was going out of town?" Gerry asked confused. The addition of the morgue had caught him off guard and woke him up.

"Sandra doesn't know what he went to do but it is a place to start." Jack said with a sigh.

"Right" the two other men agreed.

"Where is Sandra?" Brian asked as he sat down at his computer.

"She will be in later, she slept on my sofa last night. I sent her home to shower and change and I was hoping we could find something before she gets here." Jack informed them.

"How is she honestly?" Gerry questioned becoming concerned for his boss and friend.

"Only just holding it together" Jack answered him sadly.

"This isn't like Strickland to just take off. Do you think this friend of his-" Brian began but Jack cut him off.

"There are lots of things I think and plenty of 'what ifs' but I don't want to go there. My biggest problem right now is this; the Strickland we know would have called unless something was stopping him." He pointed out to the other two.

"Too bad we can't get a hold of that Fisher guy I bet he could find him." Gerry commented thinking of the strange shadowy man who had fed them information on their last case.

"The less people who know he is missing the better" Jack advised.

"That's true" Gerry agreed.

"Without approval from a superior we can't get a trace on his mobile or his financials" Brian pointed out, his mine already working on all the possible ways to locate the man.

"Doesn't matter by the time we got any of that back we would have to report him missing any way and it will be out of our hands" Jack replied. He didn't want to consider the state Sandra would be in if things got that far. One thing would be certain, their relationship would no longer be a secret.

Twenty minutes later all three of them looked up as Sandra walked through the door, she had changed her clothes and her hair was still wet, but Jack was sure she looked worse than when he left her earlier that morning. She was pale and her eyes were red, she had clearly been crying.

"Sandra" Jack said coming to her.

"I tried his place and he wasn't at home" she told him only just holding back the tears.

"We will find him" he replied and then hugged her because he couldn't think of anything else to say or do and she looked like she needed one.

"I assume you two know?" she asked looked at the other two men in the room once she let go of Jack.

"Yes" the other two said nodding.

She walked slowly to her office and hung up her handbag and coat.

"Ah I don't know if this is a good thing but I just talked to Strickland's assistant" Gerry said hanging up the phone a few minutes later.

"And?" she asked rushing back into the bigger room.

"He said that Strickland is out of the office till Wednesday he had a family emergency to deal with. That is what Strickland told him and he insists he hasn't talked to the man since he left Friday afternoon."

"But that doesn't make any sense he told me Sunday, he promised me Sunday. He didn't say anything about being gone longer, Wednesday never came up. And it wasn't a family emergency." She stammered even more confused than she already was, why did he lie to her?

"Well that is probably just what he told his office it sounds better than I have to help a friend." Jack provided trying to explain the younger mans actions.

She sat down on the sofa stunned; she didn't understand what was going on. Why had he told her one things and his assistant another? Why did he lie? None of this made any sense to her, it wasn't like him to act this way. He didn't lie to her.

"I don't think it means much of anything" Jack said sensing she was on the verge of losing what little control she still had left.

"Except maybe he really isn't supposed to be back till Wednesday and he just told you the wrong day or something changed." Brian added trying to help.

"And he didn't tell me, he would have told me" she insisted.

"Brian" Jack hissed. He knew the other man was trying to make her feel better but he was only making things worse.

"No what it means really is he wanted an extra two days off after he got done doing whatever this friend needed help with." Gerry told her firmly.

"Then where is he Gerry?" she cried.

"I don't know but we will find him." He stressed their determination to her.

"Let us look for him, you find something to distract yourself with. Why don't you find us a new case to solve while we solve this one?" Jack suggested they needed time to look for the man and Sandra on the verge of a breakdown however justified would not help them.

"Jack I don't think-" she tried to object but he cut her off.

"Just try" he pleaded with her.

"Fine" she grabbed a stack of case files left on the table and sat down to look at them. She began to read the files but soon the words became too blurry to read. The tears that pooled in her eyes slowly began to slide down her cheeks. Soon her whole body was shaking as she cried. The three men looked up as they heard a sob escape her lips. They sat there silently watching her cry the problem was they had no idea what to do. There was nothing they could tell her that would make this better. They could assure her that everything would be find but she knew just as they did that is was nothing more than words. Anything they could say would be hollow and meaningless until they found their missing man. Instead Jack got up and moved to sit down beside her, without saying anything he put his arm around her. She moved into his embrace as she continued to cry. If he couldn't fix the situation he could at least let her know they were there for her and she wasn't alone. After a while her sobs died away but they could still see her wipe a tear away every so often.

"Jack" Gerry whispered half an hour later. Jack was still sitting with Sandra trying to provide some amount of comfort. Gerry was desperately trying to get the man's attention without alerting Sandra. His attempt failed as her eyes shot up to meet his before Jack could even respond.

"Did you find something Gerry?" she asked wiping away another tear as Jack removed his arm.

"I don't think so I just want Jack's thoughts on something," Gerry lied hoping she wouldn't notice.

"You're lying" she said flatly, she may have been upset but she could was still a detective and she could tell when someone was lying to her.

"Sandra" Gerry tried he was not about to tell her what he found. He would rather destroy the whole computer than tell her what he was currently on his monitor.

"Just tell me" she argued. During their exchange Jack had left the sofa and was now reading the computer screen over Gerry's shoulder. He kept his face neutral as he read but he couldn't stop the sudden knot forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I don't…" Jack didn't know what to say.

"Oh just tell me" she cried standing up and moving to read the computer. Gerry tried to get the page closed before she got there but he wasn't quick enough and to his dismay she saw it. What she saw made her blood run cold and her breath catch in her throat. She reached down and steadied herself on Gerry's desk.

"No" she whispered. On the screen was a report from the morgue, a John Doe was found early that morning floating in the Thames, the body had been in the river for over 12 hours so the features were distorted preventing identification. Yet the body was the same estimated height weight built and hair and eye color as Strickland.

"I am sure it isn't him" Gerry tried to assure her.

"Jack?" she asked looking up at him hopefully. She knew Jack wouldn't lie to her about this.

"I seriously doubt it is him but to be safe Gerry and I will go down to the city morgue and see if it even looks like him." He told her evenly trying to reassure her. He thought that if he was calm she would remain calm as well.

"I should go I can identify him better than you can." She countered though as she said it her head began to swim and she was sure that if she let go of Gerry's desk she would fall.

"No Sandra" Gerry cried.

"Sandra please let us do this for you please," Jack begged her putting a hand on her shoulder.

She just nodded, as the tears pooled once more. She had to agreed with his decision she could barely have made it to the car before panic took over. The two men grabbed their coats and ran out of the office before she could change her mind. She watched them leave and then with all her strength she retreated to her office, she managed to close the door behind her before she sank to the floor as her entire body was racked with sobs, she was sure Robert was dead. It had been her biggest fear since he didn't show up last night. But she had refused to give in to the terror. She couldn't ignore her emotions now as a wave of fear washed over her and she knew he wasn't coming back. She wanted to see him one more time, she wanted to be in his arms, to feel his lips on hers. And now she would never get the chance. The door against her back was the only stable thing in her life at that moment. Her world, her head and the room were all spinning. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head wrapping her arms around her. She then proceeded to cry her heart out as Brian listened in the next room.

He approached her door, he could piece together what had just happened and he was sure she now thought the missing man was dead.

"Sandra" he said knocking quietly on her door. She didn't respond she couldn't respond even if she had wanted to, her tears had taken over and she just continued to cry. Brian could hear her crying but he didn't know what to do or say. She clearly didn't want to talk. He thought for a moment that he should call Ester, she would know what to do. But Sandra might not want that so he did the only thing he could think, he went back and continued to call hospitals. There was still a chance Strickland wasn't dead and he would continue to look for him until Jack told him to stop.

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Jack had never been so glad for a wasted trip to the morgue, the John Doe had been identified about an hour before he and Gerry showed up at the morgue. He couldn't even remember who the guy was it didn't matter much to him at the moment. All he needed to know was that the dead man was not Robert Strickland.

"I know it sounds wrong but thank god that isn't him" Gerry said echoing his thoughts.

"Trust me I feel the same way," Jack reassured him.

"I was so afraid I was going to have to tell Sandra he really was dead." Gerry sighed, he didn't like the situation and while Strickland was not always one of his favorite people he did care deeply for Sandra and he hated to see her upset like that.

"I'm going to call her and let her know, before we drive back." Jack told him pulling out his mobile.

"Good idea, can we stop for coffee on the way, if we are going to have to deal with her sobbing all day I am going to need something stronger than what we got back there." Gerry said, it broke his heart to hear her crying knowing he could no nothing to help her.

"Agreed" Jack nodded while his phone rang, he had dialed her mobile but it just rang and rang.

Sandra heard the phone ringing in her pocket and she pulled it out to see Jack's name. Yet she didn't answer it couldn't answer; she didn't want to hear him tell her that the man she loved, the man she couldn't live without was in fact dead. Less than a minute later she heard one of the office phones ring. Brian answered it immediately but she couldn't hear what he said, she didn't want to know, she wanted to yell and tell them he couldn't be dead they were not allowed to tell her he was dead because he couldn't be dead.

"Sandra" Brian said knocking again. "Sandra that was Jack," he told her as if she didn't know. It took all her control not to cover her ears with her hands. "Jack says the body isn't Strickland... Sandra did you hear me it isn't him." He yelled loudly hoping the new information would make her feel better.

"Okay" was all she managed to gasp out. She could barely think straight let alone breathe. She somehow managed to force herself up and moved to her desk collapsing in her chair. "He's alive" she whispered. But the moment she said it she knew that she really didn't know if it was true. Just because that John Doe wasn't Robert didn't mean he was still alive. She had no idea where he went, who he went with or what they went to do. Anything could have happened with him and there was no way for her to find out. The whole situation felt hopeless, she felt exhausted. She was a little surprised as the tears started to fall again. She should have run out of tears by now. She laid her head on her desk and continued to cry.

Jack walked back in the office with Gerry on his heels coffee in hand. He was about to ask Brian where Sandra was when he caught sight of her at her desk head down through the open blinds.

"She hasn't come out since you left," Brian informed them gratefully accepting the coffee Gerry handed him.

"She does know it wasn't him right?" Gerry asked taking a drink of his steaming hot liquid as he looked at Sandra thought the window.

"Yeah she does, didn't seem to help much though."

"She's thinking worse case now" Jack commented sitting down at his desk, he put the extra cup of coffee down. They had got one for her but based on what he saw he knew she wouldn't want it right now.

"It's going to be pretty hard to convince her that she is wrong when we have no evidence one way or another." Gerry sighed as he too sat down at his desk a bit defeated.

Jack could hear her crying from his desk and it was almost unbearable, he searched his brain for something, anything he could do to make her feel better. He then got up quickly and grabbed a cold bottle of water out of their small fridge, he headed into her office he didn't even bother to knock he just walked straight in.

"Sandra drink this, please," he ordered. She lifted her head enough to see the bottle of water Jack was holding out to her. She silently accepted it, sitting up she began to slowly drink until then she hadn't realized how dry her throat was.

"He will show up, Strickland knows how to take care of himself and if something happened to him we would have heard about it by now. But you can't give up hope and think the worst." She didn't say anything the words made sense but she wasn't ready to listen, she was too scared. The other two men had quickly joined Jack in her office. She needed to know she wasn't alone they were there to support her and if need me to look after her.

"Sandra listen to me, I am telling you this at great personal expense but men are stupid. And we are really stupid when we get together with other men. We drink too much, sleep too much and forget all about the wife and kids. It always happens you get with your mates and all normal thinking just goes away. And you don't think about who might be worried about you. It's more likely that he is off pissed somewhere and all he knows is he doesn't have to be back to work till Wednesday, so he decided to extend the fun. He isn't thinking you would be this concerned or upset; his phone probably died and he didn't think it was important to charge it. So I suggest you stop worrying about him and start planning how you are going to make him pay for it." Gerry told her trying his hand at making her feel better.

"You honestly think he would do that?" she asked him through her tears. What he was describing did not sound like the man she knew and loved. He always called when he said he would, he hated being late.

"It is possible, I forgot all about Ester and Mark when I went drinking heavily" Brian chimed in admitting to his past transgressions.

"People do stupid things when they get together with old friends" Jack added though he wasn't convinced Strickland was one of those people, but if it made her feel better he would willingly agree.

"If that's the case I will kill him," she spat out.

"Atta girl" Gerry cried but she just gave him a look.

"How about some lunch?" Jack asked ignoring Gerry,

"I don't want any food" she said firmly.

"You need to eat something, when was the last time you had any food?"

"Last night, dinner I think" she admitted not meeting their eyes, she wished they would just drop the subject there was no way she was going to be able to eat anything.

"Then you need to eat some lunch" Jack tried once more to convince her.

"I'm not hungry" she told him.

"Why don't you at least try to eat something? You might discover you are hungry after all" Jack suggested.

"No I don't want to try, how could you possibly think I could eat right now. I can barely think about food or even coffee without feeling sick to my stomach. How do you expect me to keep real food down?" She yelled at him being slightly meaner than she meant to.

"Okay, alright no one is going to force you to eat." Gerry said holding his hand up in the air as a sigh of surrender. Jack and Brian nodded in agreement they wouldn't push her they simply wanted to look after her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell" she sighed as the tears came once more.

"We know, don't worry about it but you need to try and stay calm." Jack told her giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Right, you guys go get lunch I'm going to look through more files." She told them trying to appear more put together than she currently felt.

"You sure?" Gerry asked he didn't really like the idea of leaving her alone right now.

"I can take care of myself" she said trying to laugh a little but she could barely manage a smile.

"That doesn't mean you should be alone right now," Gerry countered.

"All I'm going to do is read" she assured them, she didn't want them hovering around her right now she needed some space to try and get herself together.

"If you're sure" Jack asked he didn't truly want to leave her but if she needed time to herself he was willing to respect her wishes.

"I am" she said finally managing to give them a real smile.

"I'll just close the door then" Brian said as they all left her office.

"Thank you" she replied as they left and she was finally left alone.

"Do you actually believe any of that stuff you just said?" Jack asked once they were outside the building.

"You want to know what I think?" Gerry asked.

"Yes" Jack replied giving him a look that said today was not a day to mince words.

"I don't honestly think he is dead in a ditch. This is Strickland we're talking about he has to have some reason for not calling. With the friends he has there could be a lot of alcohol involved. I don't know if I believe he just forgot to call her, maybe he did just forgot his charger. What I do know is he better be prepared when he gets home." Gerry answered he didn't know where the man was but he knew if Strickland were dead they would know it. He just hoped the man would get his ase back home and the sooner the better.

"What do you think Brian?" Jack asked the other man who had been quite.

"The whole thing seemed unlike him right from the beginning the way he was acting when he told Sandra he had to go. Whatever is going on it has to do with this friend of his, if there is even a friend." Brian replied suspicious of the whole situation.

"Don't tell Sandra any of that" Gerry warned him.

"I just hope he turns up soon with a very good explanation." Jack sighed as they all got in his car.

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Once Sandra was sure the boys had left she pulled out her blackberry and hit the buttons, she had hit them so many times before she could have done it with her eyes closed. Part of her still had hope that he would pick up and her heart dropped when his voicemail came on. She couldn't help but take a small comfort in the sound of his voice.

"Robert I don't care what's going on please just call me I'm really worried about you please call me I need to hear your voice beyond your message please." With a sigh she hung up the phone.

She was too exhausted both mentally and physically to even cry at that moment. Instead she picked up the closest file and used all the energy she had to focus on the papers proceeded to read. She managed to spend the rest of the day sorting the files in to possible cases and unlikely cases. It was only when five o'clock came around did Jack knock on her door. The three men had decided to leave her alone for the afternoon. They had continued to make discrete inquires and check even more hospitals. Everything they tried came up empty. They didn't want to admit it but without trying less discrete means they were out of options.

"Sandra it is time to go home, why don't you let me drive you?" Jack tried to convince her not to go home alone.

"I'm fine" she told him putting the file she was reading down.

"We were going to come over; Gerry is going to make dinner." Jack tried again he was worried about her.

"I appreciate what you are trying to do Jack but I think I would rather be alone. I'm not that hungry and I'm not very good company right now." She informed him, she really just want to go home and curl up and never moved again.

"Sandra we would all feel better if you let us come home with you for a little while." He tried once more they didn't really want to leave her all alone right now. The three figured it was better if they could stay and keep an eye on her.

"Please Jack I want to go home take a nice long bath and go to bed. I'm tired please." She begged him she couldn't deal with them hovering over her all night.

"If that's what you really want" he said giving in they couldn't force themselves on her it wouldn't do her any good if she didn't want them.

"Thank you" she replied giving him a small smile hoping it would make them feel better.

"Get some rest then" he suggested giving her arm a squeeze for the umpteenth time that day.

"I'll try" she sighed putting her coat on and grabbing her handbag. She wasted no time leaving the office; she left Jack to explain to Gerry and Brian.

She really was tired and she did go home and take a long bath, but she couldn't sleep. She spent most of the night curled up on the sofa staring at the TV paying no attention to what was on. Every time she even thought she heard a noise she listened hoping he would come through the front door, but he never did. About every two hours she picked up her phone and called him each time with the same lack of response. Each time she tried she started to cry for a little while but mostly she just laid their starring into the night. In the silence she couldn't stop all the horrible thoughts from flowing through her mind.

When the sun came up she finally got off the sofa, showered, and dressed for the day. She called him once more and got no response with nothing else to do she headed back to work. Sandra was surprised to find all three men had beat her in that morning.

"Sandra did you sleep at all?" Jack gasped when she walked through the door. He didn't think it was possible but she looked worse today than she had yesterday. She was very pale and it made the dark circles under her eyes even more pronounced.

"I couldn't sleep" she said flatly walking towards her office.

"Have you eaten anything?" Gerry asked as she walked past him.

"No I really don't think I could keep anything down." She answered him honestly though there was a lack of emotion in her voice.

"You should at least try" he called after her.

"I will eat when he get back" she snapped. The three men had no idea how to respond to her statement. They weren't sure what to think about the situation in general any more. All three men had expected Strickland to have show up by now. The fact that he was still missing had them all worried. Though they were not about to share their fears with Sandra at that time.

"I am going to read through the rest of our cases, but I have started a pile of possible cases if you guys would read through them see if you think one stands out." She informed them, her words were all business as usual but the tone of her voice sounded hollow.

"Yeah sure" Gerry replied more to make her happy than from the desire to read through a pile of case files.

"I take it you haven't heard from Strickland?" Brian asked and Jack and Gerry glared at him for his stupid question.

"No I haven't he still isn't answering his phone." She replied, once again her voice was devoid of any emotion, this worried the three of them more than her crying the previous day.

"Have you tried his ex-wife maybe there has been a family emergency?" Brian continued ignoring the looks he was getting from his colleagues.

"No I have never actually spoken to Helen and this doesn't seem like the best time to start. Anyway if there had been an emergency he would have told me especially if it was one of the kids. We don't keep things like that from each other." She stressed the last part but that only made it clear that she felt he had in fact kept something from her.

"Maybe he called his kids have you tried them?" Gerry asked, if they were going down this road he might as well offer some suggestion.

"No and I'm not about to cause them to worry. He would have called me if he could so there is some reason he can't. And I look forward to hearing what it is when he gets back." With that she grabbed a stack of files of the table and walked back into her office closing her door loudly.

"What if something really has happened?" Brian asked quietly to the other two men.

"Well if he doesn't show up to work tomorrow then a missing person's case can be opened. Hopefully then they can find him." Jack said though he didn't feel that confident that a missing person's team would find him.

"But what about her?" Gerry asked throwing his thumb in the direction of her office.

"Whatever happens we will be there for her," Jack told him firmly he could think of nothing else for them to do at the moment.

"If they open a missing person file for him we'll have to tell the detectives about the two of them" Gerry said as if the other two didn't already know this.

"I don't think she is going to care if it gets to that point" Jack replied sadly.

"Let's hope for her sake it doesn't"

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While Sandra read more case files the guys continues to call around but by lunch they had exhausted their options and found nothing. Even though Jack knew the answer he still asked her if she wanted lunch. She quietly told him she wasn't hungry. After lunch the three of them finally started to read over the files she had pulled. They didn't like admitting defeat especially on this task but they could think of nothing else to try. Jack watched Sandra's face fall a little when she was the men grab the case files. He wanted to say something to convince her that everything would be alright. But by now they all knew it would be a lie. Instead he gave her a weak smile and turned his attention to the files. If he could think of something else to try or where to look he would do so. Until then there was nothing to do but get on with work.

An hour later the three looked up as the door to UCOS opened and in walked a disheveled Robert Strickland. At first Jack didn't believe what he was seeing. Yet the longer he looked the more clearer it became. The man they all fears was dead had in fact come back to them. He didn't look injured or harmed in any way.

"Where have you been?" Gerry hissed quietly.

"I…um" Strickland mumbled.

"Sandra" Jack yelled. "You better get out here."

"What Jack" she asked throwing open her door. She stopped dead when she saw her missing man standing there in front of her. "Robert" she whispered, just like Jack she too doubted what she was seeing.

"I'm sorry" he told her sincerely.

She closed the distance between them in less than a second and was soon enveloped in his arms. Only then did she trust what she was seeing.

"Sandra" was all he could say. After a few minutes of standing there in his arms she pulled back and looked him over. He was far from his usually put together self but he didn't look hurt. Tired yes and he hadn't shaved in days but he seemed fine. She took a step back and slapped him as hard as she could. The three other men couldn't help but wince as the slap reverberated off the wall. All four men were in a state of shock by her action but Sandra's blood was boiling.

"Where the hell have you been?" she yelled.

"I'm not sure how to explain" he said weakly his cheek throbbing in pain. He knew she was strong but he was still surprised by the sting of her hand.

"You are going to have to do better than that." She seethed.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry" was all he could say.

"You're sorry?" she yelled.

"Might I suggest you two take this somewhere else? This might not be the place for such a reunion. Someone might see and ask some questions." Jack warned as he looked around to make sure no one had seen them.

"Jacks right," she agreed just glaring at him.

"Take her home she needs to eat and sleep." Jack told Strickland sternly trying to let him know that things had been far from normal in his absence.

"Yes Jack I will" Strickland promised. He quickly looked the woman over and saw what Jack was referring to. Her eyes were red her face was pale and she looked exhausted. He instantly felt extremely guilty he knew her appearance was all his fault.

"Fine" she nodded storming back into office to grab her coat and bag. "You can drive."

"Right" he said taking a deep breath before following her out.

The drive home was silent neither said a word. Strickland didn't know what to say and Sandra was too worried about what she would say. The silence continued until they were safely inside the house.

"Why did Jack say you needed to eat and sleep?" He asked her carefully looking her over once more though he hardly had to ask she looked worse than he felt.

"Why do you think?" she growled as she tossed her coat and handbag on a nearby chair.

"When was the last time you ate then?" He asked her hesitantly he was worried about whatever answers she was about to give him.

"Dinner on Sunday when you were supposed to be back, remember? And before you ask the last time I slept was Sunday night on Jacks sofa after he got me drunk on his scotch. I've been too busy worrying that you were hurt or dead in a ditch." She yelled at him not holding anything back now they were alone in their own house.

"Sandra I am so sorry you know I would have called if I could" he begged her to understand and accept his apology.

"Why didn't you? Did your phone die? Was there no phone in all of England that you could have called me on?" She cried as her anger only grew.

"I can't tell you" he replied softly

"You can't tell me? What the hell does that even mean? Do you have amnesia?" She didn't understand he was supposed to stand there and give her some type of explanation that would make everything alright.

"No I just can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened or why I couldn't call. I wanted to call you but I couldn't." He knew she wanted more but he couldn't tell her. He cursed Fisher for the hundredth time.

"What is going on Robert?" He didn't answer. "Jack and Gerry went down to the morgue because we though a John Doe could have been you, they found him floating in the Thames. And now you are standing there telling me you can't tell me why I have been going out of my mind for three days." She screamed at him, she couldn't believe he had no explanation for her.

"I'm not allowed," he finally told her.

"Not allowed? What the hell is stopping you?" This didn't make sense, nothing he had said to her since they got home made any sense and she was naturally confused.

"I'm not allowed Sandra" he repeated. It killed him not to tell her he knew it was hurting her not to offer some explanation. He should have come up with a lie to tell her instead.

"I don't understand what's going on." It was then the tears started. "I thought you were dead I thought something had happened to you and I was never going to see you again."

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen" he said taking her in his arms. She just proceeded to sob, all the fear and anxiety of the past few days came pouring out. He moved them to the sofa and held her as she cried in to his chest. Her whole body was wracked with tears and she cried it all out to him. After a long while her sobs slowed and she pulled away a little.

"You have to tell me something." She begged him, she needed something so she could make sense of the past few days.

"Sandra I can't," he felt terrible but there was nothing he could say.

"Anything" she cried.

"The friend was Steven Fisher it was not a personal favor." He broke finally he knew he was hurting her and he had to give her something.

"Fisher? From the…"

"Yes" he confirmed with a nod.

"What the hell" she yelled standing up. She paced the room for a few minutes her arms wrapped around her. He knew better than to say anything so he simply waited for her to talk. "You should go." She finally said.

"What?" he asked unsure if he heard her correctly.

"I need to be alone."

"You want me to leave?" he questioned. He had spent the last four days trying to get back to her and she was throwing him out.

"Yes" she growled.

"For how long?" he asked weakly. He knew he had messed up but he didn't realize how badly until that moment.

"I don't know" she said honestly.

"I see… okay" he said standing up he was having a sense of déjà vu back to his divorce. "I'll… uh… go to my place get cleaned up and… you'll call when..." He stumbled slightly in shock he hadn't expected her to react that badly.

"Yeah" she nodded.

"You should eat something" he replied feeling horrible for what he had done.

"I'll think about." She replied turning to look out the window she couldn't look at him anymore. And she couldn't bear to watch him walk out the door not after everything she had been through.

He couldn't do anything else, and there was nothing he could say so he did as she asked, he grabbed his coat and left. The moment she heard the front door close she dissolved into tears once more. She was so confused, angry, hurt, upset, and exhausted. She couldn't believe what he had said to her. Everything he put her through was courtesy of the intelligence service. She was so angry he had to leave, but she was hurt at the same time. It took a while for her to get her emotions under control once more. When she could finally talk she found her phone and called Jack, she didn't know what else to do.

"Sandra?" Jack questioned answering the call, he wasn't expecting to hear from her so soon she had only been gone two hours.

"Jack" she cried.

"What's going on what happened? Where's Strickland?" He asked when he heard her upset tone, she had been crying once more.

"I kind of kicked him out" she admitted.

"Okay, what did he say about the weekend?" Jack was curious he wanted to know why all this had happened.

"It was Fisher that's all he would tell me," she informed him.

"Ah I see" a few of the pieces fell into place it at least explained why they couldn't get in touch with him.

"I didn't know what to do Jack I was…I am so mad at him." She continued to talk as the tears continued to pool and fall.

"It's alright you have every right to be mad at him, to not want to see him" Jack comforted her.

"But I don't know what to do now" she moaned, she couldn't seem to think straight her thoughts and emotions were all jumbled.

"Why don't you to go lie down take a nap maybe once you get some sleep you will be ready to talk to him." He suggested he knew how tired she must be. He also knew how hard it was to think while sleep deprived.

"Yeah maybe okay," she agreed sleep did sound like a good idea at the moment. Now that she wasn't so worried about Strickland and his safety her head felt quite heavy.

"Everything will be okay one way or another," he reassured her.

"I may need a ride into work tomorrow" she told him slightly embarrassed.

"Don't worry about that now I will come get you. Right now I want you to focus on sleep maybe eat something when you wake up." He shook his head, leave it to Sandra to think about work. When she should be looking after herself.

"Thank you Jack… for everything" she said softly, she was very thankful for all he had done for over the past few days.

"Anytime," he replied as they hung up.

She followed Jacks instructions and walked upstairs, she changed and practically crawled into bed. She was so tired she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. Yet that didn't stop a few tears from escaping as she grabbed the silly bear from its hiding place and curled up with it under the covers. As she fell asleep she couldn't help but wonder how things had tumbled so far out of control.

"Come on were taking a ride." Jack told the other two as he hung up with Sandra.

"Where we going?" Brian asked standing up.

"To Strickland's flat," Jack informed him as he put his coat on.

"Why are we going there?" Gerry asked this time as he grabbed his own coat.

"To have a talk with Strickland, Sandra kicked him out."

"Not surprised" Gerry added as the three headed for the door.

"Why would she do that?" Brian asked confused trying to keep up with the other two men.

"Because he is an ass" Gerry informed him flatly.

"All he would tell her was that Fisher was the one who needed his help," Jack told them.

"Spooks" Brian translated with a sigh.

"Yep" Jack confirmed.

"Well that was bound to upset her," Gerry commented. None of them were fond of Fisher and his type.

"So now we're going to talk to him," Jack informed them as they headed in to the lift.

"You think he will tell us more than he is telling her?" Gerry asked confused.

"No, we're going to be the ones talking" Jack said firmly.

"Ah I see" Brian replied smirking at Gerry

"I'm going to enjoy this" Gerry said grinning back as they headed for the car park.

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"What?" Strickland growled as he opened his front door he was not in the mood for visitors. "Oh" he sighed once he saw the three men. He moved out of the way silently and let them in reluctantly he directed them toward the kitchen. "You want one?" He asked picking up his beer.

"No" Jack replied harshly.

"Did Sandra-"

"Sandra doesn't know where here. She called me all upset and told me she kicked you out. Hopefully by now she is fast asleep." Jack cut him off he was going to give the man a piece of his mind.

"That's good she looked like she needed it," Strickland said rubbing his face.

"Thanks to you," Gerry growled.

"I know, I know this is all my fault" the younger man moaned.

"I don't care what you were doing; I don't give a damn about Fisher, were you went or what you can and can't tell her. Nothing you could possibly say could make up for the hell you put her through." Jack raged at him.

"Jack I know" Strickland sighed.

"No you don't so just stand there and shut up." All three other men were surprised by Jacks harsh words and tone. "You can't even imagine how torn up she was. She was worried sick over you, she thought you were dead. And you did nothing to help her, no all your actions did was confirm her worst fears. We spent a day and a half trying to find you for her with no success and then you come waltzing back into our office. And all you have to say is sorry."

"She refused to eat because she was afraid she would throw it all up again. That is how worried she was about you." Gerry added to Jack rant.

"And she didn't sleep last night too afraid of what might have happened to you to even close her eyes." Brian threw in for good measure.

"She deserves better than this better than a man who let her think he was dead for two days. Leaves her to sit there and worry about him." Jack told him flat out.

"You're right Jack she deserves much better than me, she would be right to never speak to me again," he sighed. He dropped into a nearby kitchen chair and buried his head in his hands.

"Oh you're not getting off that easily. She loves you god help her she does, she has it bad for you, these past few days prove that. So don't think you get to slink away" Jack countered.

"I don't quite understand." Strickland asked raising his head to look at the other man.

"You're going to find a way to make it up to her." Gerry told him firmly.

"That's right I don't care what it takes or how long it takes but you will make it all up to her." Jack ordered pointing at him.

"She doesn't want to see me," Strickland objected.

"She's mad and for good reason" Gerry shot back.

"She told me she would call when she was ready," he told them

"And yet you are going to go over there and take dinner with you and start making it up to her. I don't care if you have to sleep on the sofa for a month you find a way make it better." Jack told him leaving no room for argument.

"Are you sure she is going to be okay with that?" Strickland asked uncertain if it was a good idea he didn't want to upset her more.

"Even if she kicks you out at least she will have some dinner to eat." Gerry replied with the same conviction Jack had.

"Right" the younger man agreed nodding.

"You keep coming back when she kicks you out and you take whatever punishment she dishes out like a man, understand?" Gerry asked, he spoke from experience when it came to upsetting women.

"Yes" Strickland agreed once more.

"Good in a few hours take her dinner," Jack reminded him.

"And get good at groveling," Gerry ordered with a knowing look.

"I'm sure Gerry can give you some tips." Brian added.

"Don't ever do anything like that again, don't you dare worry her like that again." Jack warned him as sternly as possible.

"I won't" Strickland promised.

"Good" Gerry nodded. "Cause we know people and you will regret it" he threatened the younger man just for good measure.

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A few hours later true to his word Strickland gingerly let himself into Sandra's place. He felt a little like he was trespassing, she had told him to leave and just because he had a key didn't mean he should be there. He set the curry down on the kitchen counter and just stood there he didn't know what he was suppose to do. He didn't know if he should go up and wake her or sit on the sofa and wait for her to come down. His dilemma was solved for him as Sandra walked into the kitchen a moment later. She stopped a soon as she saw him.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" she cried out in shock

"I brought dinner," he replied weakly pointing at the food.

"I see," she nodded at the food.

"I know you asked me to leave and if you want me to go I will but I wanted to make sure you had something to eat and that you were alright. It is my fault you spent the last few days the way you did." He explained and attempted to apologize.

"Thanks for the food," she said dryly.

"You don't have to thank me you shouldn't be thanking me for anything. This whole situation is my fault. I never wanted to put you through this to worry you or upset you. I'm so sorry and I know I keep saying that and it doesn't really mean much. I want you to know if you let me I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you." He was pleading with her, hoping she wouldn't immediately kick him out once more.

"I hope you brought enough food for both of us" she commented, her face was unreadable giving him no idea what she was thinking.

"I did," he confirmed hopefully.

"Good" she said as she walked over to the kitchen counter.

They silently sat at the table eating for a while every so often he would steal a look at her and every time he found her staring at him.

"Gerry, Jack, and Brian came to see me" he told her finally.

"Ah that explains all this." Strickland wasn't the type to blatantly ignore her when she was being serious.

"Yes if not for them I would have stayed far away till you called. Not because I didn't want to be here but because you made it clear you didn't want me here. And I will leave the moment you tell me to." He explained to her, he needed her to understand how serious he was. He would do whatever she wanted him to do, go or stay he would do it. He just wanted her to feel better, if she needed him to stay away to accomplish that he would willingly do that.

"What exactly did they say?" She was more curious than anything.

"Naturally they gave me a right bollocking which I justly deserved. Then they told me I better start making it up to you Brian even suggested I take groveling advice from Gerry." He told her curious as to what she thought about her boys coming to see him.

"Really" she said with a laugh. "I'm half tempted to have you do it just to see what he tells you."

"If you want" he truly was willing to do anything she asked him to do.

"No the last thing I want or need is you taking relationship advice from Gerry."

"They did seem convinced that you would eventually forgive me and not chuck me out as you should." He told her giving her a sideways glance trying to see her reaction.

"Really?" she asked giving nothing away.

"Are they correct?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes I believe they are," she replied but didn't offer more.

"Why?" he questioned her.

"Why? Are you trying to get me to kick you out for good?" She cried confused.

"I don't want you to, I love you, but you have every right to do so. You should hate me right now after everything I put you through. You should kick me out and never want to see me again." He sighed he felt so guilty for putting her through everything that happened those past three days.

"I am mad at you, I am pissed at you. But I love you and when I thought you were…when I was afraid you weren't coming back it was as though my whole world came crashing down around me. I haven't felt that way since my dad…" She couldn't finish that thought; she didn't want to start crying again not now not in front of him. But she didn't need to finish the statement he knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Sandra I'm so sorry" he apologized to her once more.

"I never want to feel like that again. But more importantly you arsehole it means I can't seem to live without you. I don't want to have to," she told him sharply.

"I promise never again. I love you."

"That doesn't mean I'm not furious with you" she warned him.

"I know and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you." He promised her and he meant it.

"You better, dinner was a good start," she informed him.

"Really?"

"Don't get too excited you got a long way to go."

"Right. Gerry Jack and Brian really care about you, you know," he told her.

"I know they have been really great these past few days I don't know what I would have done without them." She replied with a smile they had been so nice and understanding. The three men were the only reason she hadn't gone crazy these past three days.

"I'll make sure I thank them tomorrow."

"I have one question why did you tell me you would be back on Sunday but you told your assistant you wouldn't be back till Wednesday." That was the one thing that still baffled her.

"Fisher said that he could end up needing my help through Wednesday." He tried to explain.

"Then why did you tell me Sunday?" she demanded.

"Fisher lied to me, I objected to being called away for so long and he led me to believe that we could get his favor done and come right back home by Sunday. And by the time I figured it out I couldn't call. If I could have I would have left." He admitted hoping she would understand.

"And Fisher is not a man you just walk away from?" She asked already knowing his answer but she needed to hear him say it.

"No he isn't. I'm so sorry for all of this."

"I'm glad you're alive" she told him, she really was even if she was mad.

"Would it make it any better if I told you I was never in any real danger?" he asked her.

"No not really it surely isn't going to make me less angry at you and it doesn't change the fact that at the time I was afraid you were never coming back." She informed him with a slight glare.

"Never again I promise."

"No more secrets" she demanded

"I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise." They were both silent for a few moments as they finished with their food.

"It seems to me you have two choices" she told him eventually. "You can either go back to your place tonight or you can sleep on the sofa?" She offered sincerely hoping he wouldn't go back to his flat.

"I will sleep on the sofa as long as it takes for you to forgive me," he promised. He didn't even need to give her offer a single thought. He would gladly sleep on the sofa than go back to his lonely empty flat.

"What if I'm stubborn and it takes me weeks?" she asked curious.

"You are always stubborn it's one of the things I fell in love with you for. But if it takes weeks then I will stuffer weeks on the sofa." He assured her with a smile.

"You fell in love with me because I was stubborn? I would have thought you would have fallen in love with me in spite of it. I would have thought it would drive you crazy." She never thought she would hear him say he loved her stubbornness.

"At risk of angering you further I will admit that in the beginning you drove me crazy in many ways most of them I loved, but your stubbornness would frustrate me to no end. And then one day I found myself looking forward to it. I looked forward to our arguments." He continued smiling as he thought back to these days.

"Me too" she told him returning his smile.

"I love everything about you I don't know why you ever agreed to be with me nor do I know why you stick with me and forgive me when I make colossal mistakes. But I thank god everyday that you did." He told her taking her hand in his.

"I thought you would have figured it out by now, I told you I can't live without you." She said breathlessly before pulling him in for a long kiss. "But you're still sleeping on the sofa."

A/N I feel this chapter was a little further out there than most of the other chapters but I hope it was an enjoyable enough read. Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	39. Only the Brave

Only the Brave

"You know by all rights I should be quite angry with you." Strickland said the moment he walked into the kitchen that evening.

"And why is that?" Sandra asked looking up from the file she was reading. She was sitting on one of the stools enjoying an after work glass of wine.

"You lied to me" he accused her folding his arms over his chest as he stood in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused.

"Last night you lied." There was no way he going to let her get out of this one.

"I don't recall lying to you recently," She replied the picture of calm innocence.

"It was a lie of omission but still a lie none the less." He informed her he wasn't standing down.

"Could you be more specific?" She was pretty sure she knew what he was on about but she wasn't in a rush to help him.

"You neglected to mention that Reese Chapman somehow got into your car and then held you at gun point." He growled at her, she was purposefully being difficult and it was not improving his mood.

"You forgot the part where I broke his nose. I had it under control." She added rather flippantly she was not interested in having this conversation again.

"You didn't think your very loving, very rational partner might want to know about this?" He demanded trying as hard as he could to stay calm.

"It was in my report, I'm sure that is how you found out about it." She answered flatly taking a large drink of her wine.

"From you directly, I would have liked to have been told by you directly. I do not appreciate finding out that the woman I love was held at gun point by a violent gang member in a report the next day. You could have been killed." He began to yell at her, he was more than upset and he couldn't understand why she was acting so calm about the whole thing.

"I realize that, but he was rather seriously injured he was not that dangerous." She countered her tone was still lacking a seriousness he wanted to hear and it made his anger grow.

"He held a gun to your head" he shouted at her.

"I know, I was there watching him in the review mirror." She shot back at back at him, she didn't appreciate him yelling at her and her own anger was beginning to take over.

"How did he get in?" he demanded.

"He is in a gang or was he knows how to break into a car." She replied trying to make it clear she thought his question was stupid.

"Why didn't you check the back seat before you got in?" He continued ignoring her response and tone, he was on a roll and he wasn't about to let the issue go.

"I was slightly distracted and do you check every inch of your car before you get in…thought not." she cried, she couldn't believe how he was reacting. She was on her feet now glaring at him just as he was glaring at her.

"I am getting tired of men pointing guns at your head." He shouted at her.

"We'll you're not the only one," she fired back at him; it wasn't as though she liked having a gun pointed at the back of her head.

"I am having strong sense of déjà vu."

"Me too, should I find my hand cuffs." She growled at him, she wasn't in a playful mood despite her comments.

"No and this isn't like the last time. This time you blatantly didn't tell me about it." He hated being lied to and a lie of omission was still a lie.

"I broke his nose" she yelled confused as to why he didn't understand this.

"You should have told me." He bellowed at her as the anger flowed through his blood.

"I didn't want you to over react," she exclaimed folding her arms over her chest.

"Over react?" he scoffed.

"Yes, what you are doing right now." She cried out at him, over reacting was exactly what he was doing though he clearly couldn't see that.

"If you had told me last night then this would be over reacting but I had to read about it in a bloody report. So this is not really over reacting." He fumed at her, how she could possibly think this was okay, that he would be okay with this.

"Yes you are." She quickly fired back at him.

"No, over reacting would be telling you I'm going to drive you to and from work for a little while so no one can break into your car and point a gun at you." He replied harshly making it clear that he was well prepared to actually follow through on this threat.

"You wouldn't dare, you couldn't" she seethed the fury was blazing in her eyes, there was no way he could even try and control her that way.

"Try me, you want over reacting." He hissed at her, he would show her over reacting.

"And I'm going to find my handcuffs and I promise you it won't end in sex, you are being an over protective son of a bitch." She was so mad at him at that moment, she was not a doll he could put on a shelf to keep out of harm's way.

"It should be me handcuffing you to the furniture so you can't put yourself in danger. No sorry, so danger doesn't find you." The sarcasm laced his voice. "But that isn't actually what this is about. I know your job puts you in dangerous positions. I accept that, what I don't accept is you lying to me about it." He tried to explain to her once more, he felt they had gotten way off track. He wasn't trying to be over protective no matter how much he wanted to be.

"And I wonder why I did that?" it was her turn at sarcasm.

"Tell me why, because you haven't really." What he truly wanted was an explanation; he wanted to know why she would lie to him.

"I wanted to avoid this, you getting all over protective like you did the last time someone pointed a gun at me." She told him taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"Oh, I'm not feeling over protective I'm feeling mad very very mad." He replied but he managed not to raise his voice this time.

"Clearly, yes I lied by not telling you, yes I wanted to avoid this conversation and arguing. And most importantly I didn't want to talk about it. He pointed a gun at my head I was scared, I talked him down, solved part of the case and broke his nose. Problem solved, case closed except for Stuart." She told him firmly she had the situation under control.

"And when should I have told you? Right after I told you about the undercover police officer who murdered the gang members? Or maybe while we were waiting to ruin Stuart's case? Or maybe when we finally got home last night at midnight when you were in such a particularly good mood because a two year undercover opp went up in smoke?" She admitted that she wanted to keep this from him for a little while, but she honestly couldn't find a good time to tell him. It just seemed easier after a while to let him find out on his own.

"Any of those times would have been better than reading about it in your report." He told her wishing she has just let him know what happened, he didn't want to fight with her.

"Bullshit it would have been worse" she sighed.

"Anytime you would have chosen to tell me would have been better than reading about it the next day. We do not keep secrets from each other like that." He implored her, they weren't people who lied and kept secrets and he didn't want to become that way.

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry you deserved to find out from me. But don't you dare tell me we don't have secrets." She hissed at him, how he could he say that to her with a straight face, they both knew he was keeping more than a few secrets from her.

"Is that what this is about? I thought we were past that whole thing with Fisher?" he asked.

"That isn't what this is about," she said firmly.

"I thought I was done paying for that I spent two weeks on the sofa, you barely let me touch you for three weeks." He complained loudly, he knew he had screwed up with Fisher but he thought they had moved past it.

"Robert that isn't what this is about." She insisted emphatically.

"Fine" he sighed. They were both silent for a while, catching their breath and calming down. "That reminds me I want to get a new sofa." He blurted out finally.

"Investing in your future?" she joked darkly.

"The future of my back and yours for that matter that sofa has no comfort or support left in it." He informed her, after spending two weeks straight on the thing he knew the piece of furniture couldn't take much more.

"You would know, fine but I get a say." She warmed him, she wasn't about to let him buy an ugly sofa and put it in her living room.

"Of course I wouldn't dream of getting us a sofa you didn't like. So then tell me what this is about ?" He asked, they both had seemed to calm down now; maybe they could actually talk about what was going on.

"I already did. I didn't want a lecture on my safety as though I was a child and I didn't want to talk about it at all." She said letting out a sigh, she really just wanted to forget it happened at this point.

"Okay, I'll accept that but something else has been bothering you through this whole case." He observed as they both moved and sat down on the soon to be replaced sofa.

"Stuart, he made a comment suggesting I was wasting my time down in the basement with UCOS." She told him, she didn't know why she was letting Stuart's words get to her, especially after how things turned out for him.

"Do you feel that way?" he asked trying to read her expression, she had never said anything before. In fact she had been adamant that she didn't want things to change.

"No not really" she didn't but the whole thing was still bothering her and he could tell.

"I am going to tell you something that I have resisted telling you for a while but you probably deserve to know." He tried his hardest to insulate her and her team from the rest of the met they were best when they went off and did their own thing.

"And what's that?" she asked curious as to where he was going with this.

"Most other departments in the met are intimidated by you and UCOS. They feel threatened; you have one of the best clean up rates in the entire force. And no one likes someone coming behind them and showing them up by solving the cases they couldn't. And you do it really well. They dislike UCOS all the while they are jealous and wish they had your job. I see it all the time and that's why people like Stuart tell you that you are wasting your time. They would love for you to move on; they only want a shot at your job." He admitted to her, he saw it quite often, but he made sure she and her boys never got wind of it. If for no other reason than those three guys didn't need their egos stroked.

"I am exactly where I want to be, I just hate when people waltz in and make me justify UCOS and Gerry, Jack and Brian. UCOS is a very hard thing to explain. But there are time times when I feel like all the action goes on up there and I am missing out on that." She confessed to him, she didn't want to be anywhere else but she couldn't fight those old feelings of missing out on things.

"You mean like someone pulling a gun on you? You and I both know that every case is important. And I have never felt that there was a case too high profile or too dangerous for you and your team. And that has nothing to do with the length of time since the crimes were committed. It is because I'm convinced nothing can kill those three. You did smash your car into one of them and plowed right into a billboard. If you can't kill them nothing can." He finished with a laugh though it wasn't exactly humorous but it was the truth after all.

"Very funny" she huffed; she didn't want to talk about that now.

"Oh it isn't a joke it's the truth." He told her completely straight faced he knew if anyone was going to kill those three it was going to be her.

"Again I will say it, I am happy where I am, cleaning up other people's mistakes and messes." There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice but they both knew she was being honest.

"You do it so well, if I could just convince criminals to stop pointing guns at you." He said letting out a humor filled sigh, he really hated when they tried to kill her.

"Good luck criminals love pointing guns at police officers." She reminded him, it was an occupational hazard.

"Don't I know it? I will not over react when someone threatens you, I just want to know." He told her putting his arms around her so she was looking at him.

"Okay, but if you are not going to overact and lecture me what exactly will you do with the information?" she asked him.

"I will make sure to tell you I love you, and I will make sure to hold you longer and most importantly I will make sure you are alright, and I'm not likely to believe you when you say you are fine." He said pulling her closer to him and kissed her.

"That is quite sappy you know." She replied with a laugh, she liked it when he got romantic like that.

"I know, thought if you could provide me with names and address of the people who hurt you so I know who to hunt down and threaten I would be very happy." He joked thought part of him wished that were an actual option.

"You and the boys I'm sure. But do try and remember I broke his nose please." She reminded him she was able to defend herself.

"I would have loved to see that" he laughed.

"I bet you would" she grinned shaking her head.

"I do get to care and worry about you and that has nothing to do with being your boss and everything to do with loving you. Your boss knows you can take care of yourself. Whereas the man who loves you would prefer a criminal not even look at you let alone touch you." He informed her, he respected her and everything she did and had accomplished but he still had the male desire to protect her.

"That is sweet, completely ridiculous, but sweet."

"Well you know me" he smiled.

"I do" she said kissing him. "So a new sofa what did you have in mind?"

"What about a pull out?" he asked hopefully.

"Never going to happen." She answered quickly thinking of how uncomfortable those sofas were. She could always feel every spring it the damn thing.

"Yeah, thought not" he sighed.

"Try again" she suggested.

"The softest one they have," he offered.

"Will you be trying out ever sofa there is?" she laughed at the thought.

"Yes" he answered, determined to find the most comfortable one he could.

"No patterns especially floral ones" she warned him.

"Agreed" the last thing he wanted was a sofa that his gran would have owned.

"You sure no pull out?" he tried again.

"Not a chance in hell."

A/N Happy Thanksgiving to anyone celebrating it today hope everyone has a great day. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	40. Half Life

Half Life

"Can't sleep?" Strickland asked sitting down on the kitchen stool next to Sandra.

"Nightmare" she answered looking up from her glass of warm milk.

"Again?" this was the second night in a row and he was getting a little concerned. It was unlike Sandra to have bad dream this often.

"Yeah" she admitted quietly thinking back to the night before. She had bolted straight up in bed hyperventilating in the dead of night. The events of the nightmare where fuzzy and she was left with this over powering feeling that she was going to lose everything that was important to her. It took Strickland nearly twenty minutes to calm her back to sleep. Tonight she remembered most of the nightmare.

"Sandra" he called pulling her out of her thoughts. He had his hand on her arm and he was giving her a concerned look.

"Yes?"

"I said your name three times" he told her his concern for her only growing.

"Sorry I was lost in thought" she admitted.

"I hope Brian's insomnia isn't rubbing off on you" he joked.

"No I just don't want to go back to sleep and I didn't want to wake you." She said looking back down at her milk.

"I missed you," he sighed rubbing her back.

"While you slept?" she scoffed a little at his statement.

"I woke up and you weren't there, I got concerned. Do you remember your nightmare? Do you know why you're having them?" He asked her hoping he could do something to make her feel better.

"Yeah I remember" she sighed. "You and the guys have me all twisted up over these budget cuts. I try and be the calm reasonable one and you four are determined to lose it around me, scaring the bloody hell out of me." She moaned and complained, the four of them where driving her crazy.

"All we are doing is trying to look out for you, not to cause you nightmares." He said by way of an apology.

"Well that didn't work very well now did it" she grumbled.

"Everything will be fine" he assured her as her rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Even if they move one or both of us around?" she asked, it was her deepest fear and likely the root of her nightmares.

"Of course" he answered much too calm for her liking.

"But we have worked so hard to keep everything quiet so everything would stay the way they are." She cried, she didn't want things to change she wasn't ready.

"Whatever happens-"

"But I love things the way they are, I love working with you and the boys and UCOS." She interrupted him she couldn't bear the thought of them closing UCOS down.

"Everything will be just fine I promise." He told her once more in his calm and steady voice.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise".

"We have to be extra careful, now more than ever because if anyone finds out it will be so easy for them to separated us and fix these budget concerns at the same time." She reminded him, she couldn't stop her mind from thinking of everything that could go wrong.

"Nothing like that is going to happen." He wanted to tell her that eventually things had to change they couldn't do these jobs forever but she was not in the right frame of mind to accept the concept.

"How can you be so sure?" she questioned him, his calm demeanor was having the opposite effect on her.

"Please let me deal with this" he begged.

"But you said it was a macro problem not a micro one and it went well above you." She reminded him flatly.

"God I hate it when you use my own words against me," he moaned.

"It is always a bonus when I get to do that" she said with a weak smile.

"Please let me ask around as I said I would. You solve the crime and I deal with the politics remember?" He begged, taking both her hands in his, imploring her to stop worrying about the situation.

"Okay" she reluctantly agreed though she knew her dreams would still be troubled until she knew for certain what was going on at work.

"So it seems to me you have two choices, you can either come back to bed with me and I will hold you until you go back to sleep." He offered hoping her could persuade her to come back to bed with him.

"I don't know…"

"Or we can go curl up on the sofa and find something to watch on television." He suggested she clearly wasn't eager to return to bed and try to sleep.

"Honestly I don't think I want to go back to sleep tonight" she admitted.

"Sofa it is, come on let's get comfy" She gave him a sad smile and took his hand following him to the sofa. Half an hour later they were both fast asleep.

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Nervously Sandra knocked on Strickland's office door. Brian had informed her that he had news for her and she was afraid of what he would tell her.

"Come in" he called.

"Sir" she said coming in and closing the door behind her.

"Ah Sandra do me a favor and lock the door." He said with a goofy grin on his face that confused her.

"This has all the makings of something highly inappropriate. " she joked. "Unless this is your way of telling me UCOS is screwed and we don't need to keep us a secret anymore." She said as her smile fell.

"I am going to say something to you that I have never said before, mostly for fear of my life."

"Oh?" she asked very curious now.

"I told you so, there is nothing to worry about I have been assured that UCOS has not and never will be destined for closure." He told her and he couldn't hold back a giant grin that spread across his face.

"Really" she cried and in a second she was in his arms kissing him.

"And that's why I had you lock the door." He replied kissing her back whole heartedly.

"Oh shut up as I remember you told me the idea wasn't silly." She reminded him as she relaxed in his arms.

"Yes but two nights ago I told you everything would be fine." He countered still wearing his smile.

"But that's not the same thing. Actually I'm the one who said we had nothing to worry about you and the three dinosaurs were the ones worrying about us being shut down." She huffed, it was all their fault she had nightmares in the first place.

"Ah… yes… well…"

"So I think your 'I told you so' was unfounded." She said punching him lightly in the shoulder. "You are actually the reason I've been having nightmares these past few nights." She said hitting him a little harder.

"Ow I'm sorry but I did help you go back to sleep the other night." He tried to apologize to her.

"On the sofa" she cried back at him.

"Aren't you glad we got a new one?" He asked hoping she would forgive him.

"Yes I am," she agreed and she couldn't stop her smile from growing as relief washed over her.

"Well see that was all me."

"Thank you for finding out for me." She said kissing him.

"You are very welcome" he replied grinning like an idiot.

"Even though I was right to start out with you were right when you told me that it would be fine." She told him as her smile got bigger to match his.

"I'm good with that." He nodded kissing her again before she could say anything else.

"I have to go tell the guys they are waiting at the pub." She informed him pulling away.

"Wait the door is locked I thought we could have some fun?" He moaned pouting a little.

"We do still have to keep our secret plus it is not appropriate to have sex in your office." She told him in a tone of mock seriousness.

"But we did it in yours" he whinged.

"Yes but I work in the basement. I'll see you at home." She replied giving him one last kiss and then she practically floated out of his office.

He just stood there laughing.

A/N Hope everyone is having a great Friday. Thanks for reading and the very lovely reviews.


	41. Tiger Tiger

Tiger Tiger

"Ah home finally" Sandra sighed walking through the front door as Strickland followed her in. They slowly made their way up stairs to the bedroom. Sandra had to practically drag herself up the stairs she couldn't remember the last time she was this tired. She kicked off her shoes the moment she walked into the bedroom. She didn't even care were they ended up just as long as he didn't end up tripping over them. She didn't even have enough energy to take off her dress or makeup; she just flopped down on the bed ready to sleep for a hundred years. He stripped off his uniform, hanging up the important bits he moved towards the bed standing in front of her.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you how lovely you looked tonight." He told her looking down at the exhausted woman in a beautiful dress lying on their bed.

"You weren't home when I got dressed." She replied her arm now lying over her eye shielding them from the lights in the room.

"I went straight from the office" he informed her.

"I worked that out" she answered sarcasm lining her voice.

"You know that pretty dress isn't going to be so pretty in the morning if you don't take it off." He reminded her from his position above.

"It is the morning," she countered with a groan.

"Well you know what I mean, come on standup" he suggested and reluctantly she listened as he quickly had her unzipped and seconds later she was devoid of all clothing. He stepped away and returned with a one of his soft white t-shirts and a pair of pajama bottoms he knew she favored.

"Here let me help you get his on." He whispered pulling the shirt over her head. Once she was dressed he gave her a nice long kiss, he had been waiting all night to do that.

"Thank you" she said falling back on to the bed and under the covers. "Will you turn the light off? Thank god it is Saturday. Going to bed with the sun is a child's game." She whinged rolling over, after he did as she asked he gladly joined her on the other side of the bed.

"Yes it is, I don't think we will be making it to the farmers market." He told her with a sigh as he closed his eyes, it took too much energy to keep them open.

"At this moment I don't care," she moaned, the exhaustion evident in her voice.

"Sandra should we talk-" he tried but she cut him off.

"No please just go to sleep I can't even think any more." She practically growled at him. She didn't want to talk about anything that happened earlier she just wanted sleep to blissfully take over.

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Sandra woke up to the mid afternoon sun shining through the window which was unsurprising as it was almost six in the morning when they finally went to sleep. She groaned opening her eyes she would have gladly slept forever but she knew she had to get up at some point.

"Morning" the voice next to her said.

"Afternoon" she corrected.

"Right do I get a kiss?" Strickland asked but instead of an answer she elbowed him in the mid section. "Hey what was that for?" he moaned confused as to what he had done to deserve such treatment already.

"You were a jerk last night" she shot back at him.

"Excuse me! I'm not the one who lied to you, failed to show up to the award ceremony and insisted of bringing in suspects ruining everyone's Friday night." He complained it wasn't his fault that the night was a complete mess.

"No you just gave me dirty looks all night then questioned my team's ability to do the job at hand." She informed him, she wasn't very happy with the way he handled a few things last night.

"Actually it was future cases and what did you want me to say?" he asked.

"You could have just let me handle it" she countered.

"You handle it? This is Jack we are talking about what exactly where you going to do after he told you he didn't care if he lived or died?" He asked pushing on even though it was only likely to make her angrier at him.

"I was going to talk to him" she professed.

"Really?" he scoffed.

"Yes I was, I hardly had the time, what with the serial killer in my interview room. Tell me what exactly did you expect I would do after you said all that stuff?" she demanded.

"Talk to him" he said realizing how stupid that sounded.

"Right" she laughed harshly "so what was the point."

"Well I had to stay to say something Jack's actions were dangerous." He said defending his own actions, he was not going to back down not on this issue.

"To him" she said slowly having a feeling where this was going and she wasn't going to like it.

"To you and to your team," he specified.

"Oh so your concern was for Gerry and Brian's lives I see" she replied sarcastically

"Of course my concern is more for you than those two, but that is because you are the one more likely to try and save Jack, even from himself" he tried to explain. They both knew he was right she had crashed her car into his for that very reason.

"I thought we talked about you and this over protective bullshit," she hissed. She wasn't interested in having this conversation for the hundredth time and she certainly didn't want to dredge up the past once more.

"Well first I think you talked and I had to listen" he shot back.

"You had to?" she cried.

"Yes if I remember correctly you were straddling me on the bed, this bed in fact so I didn't have much choice. Well not this bed…the old one but you know exactly what I mean" He challenged her, he had every right to be concerned for her, he loved her.

"I would have though you would have wanted to listen to what I had to say. The point I keep trying to make is that you can't protect me like that," she growled at him, he would not get away with it.

"Actually because I am your boss in charge of the safely of you and your team that is exactly what I can do in this case. It is exactly what I would say to any other team. The only difference is that I don't end up getting elbowed in the ribs when I first wake up from any of them." He informed her rubbing his midsection for emphasis.

"Not feeling sympathetic right now, your fine," she huffed.

"You're the one who elbowed me of course I'm getting no sympathy from you" he whinged. She gave him a dirty look but didn't reply.

"Listen I know this is Jack we're talking about, he is your blind spot after all but I just wanted you to consider the situation as it was and how it could affect your team." He began again trying to explain himself once more.

"Jack is not my weak spot; I am quite capable of telling him off just like the rest of them" She scoffed at his assessment of her relationship with Jack.

"Oh I don't think there is a person alive you won't yell at, what I mean is you wouldn't consider telling him to retire again because of this would you or threaten to fire him if he did it again?" He questioned her knowing her answer but trying to prove the point.

"No and I recall you were the on handing him an award for doing it," she countered.

"For bravery not recklessness," he tried to explain. What he couldn't say was if anyone knew the real reasons for Jack's actions they would have put him in therapy not given him an award.

"Semantics," she growled at him.

"No it isn't one puts you in danger," he snapped back he needed her to understand.

"No it doesn't. I'm getting a shower" she cried and with that she got up and stormed into the bathroom.

"All I wanted was a kiss" he moaned.

He waited till he heard the water start before he ventures out of bed and quietly entered the bathroom shedding his clothes as he went. He slipped into the shower behind her. She was washing her hair and her eyes were closed but he didn't scare her in fact she barely reacted.

"I don't remember inviting you in" she said as she washed the shampoo out of her hair.

"You invited me into your house and your bed after that the shower is just assumed." He explained playfully, relieved she hadn't yelled at him for joining her.

"Oh is it" she said moving on to the conditioner. She had not adopted the playful tone he had used.

"Yes it is. Now shouldn't I be the one grumpy this morning- at Jack not at you" he said quickly. "For not showing up for his award and messing up my speech?" He asked her, he realized he would be better off if he just shut up but something in him couldn't let it go.

"I yelled at him for that, I believe you heard the end of it, but do feel free to shout at him some more. You can't be mad at me I caught a serial killer this morning… last night… whenever." She objected it wasn't as thought any of this was her fault, she had no idea what Jack was up to. And until that moment she had no idea how Jack truly felt.

"I'm not the one who is mad actually it seems you are," he sighed. He wasn't mad he was concerned, yet she was on the defensive from the moment they woke up and he was still confused as to why.

"Not mad I just said you were a jerk last night" she informed him finally turning around to face him. She didn't want to fight but she didn't appreciate his lecture at the end of her case hours earlier.

"This morning" he corrected.

"Whenever" she huffed.

"You really did look very lovely last night and this was not how things were supposed to be," he moaned. "I was supposed to take you home last night after a very boring night- thought not on my part- and let you have your wicked way with me. Instead I get a missing Jack, a messed up speech, you bailing on the dinner, and a serial killer to wrap it all up. Then I wake up to a jab in the ribs, why do you have such pointy elbows by the way." He exclaimed at the end. At this point he wanted to forget everything that happened before they went to sleep and enjoy what they had left of their weekend.

"I don't have pointy elbows they just feel that way when you poke someone with them that's how elbows work." She explained and it felt like she was mocking him.

"Okay but what I want to know is how I always seemed to get yelled at home for work stuff." He groaned. He was cold as most of the hot water was falling on Sandra, though he had crashed her shower so he could hardly complain.

"That's what happens when you date a co-worker you yell at me at work I yell at you at home." She informed him with a pointed look, she would have thought he had figured it out after all these years.

"Ah I see. I don't like it and to me that feels wrong always has but I accept it because I love you." He told her trying hard not to start shivering. "But what I said last night was the right thing to say, as your boss it is my job to tell you that this is something you can't ignore just because it is Jack. It is dangerous for everyone, he is unpredictable. And I would be saying this as your boyfriend even if I wasn't your boss. So for once both sides of me agree and you are just being stubborn. Now can I please have a good morning kiss at four in the afternoon after which I will go order you a curry." He cried getting fed up with all the bickering they were doing.

"Are you trying to bribe a police officer? That is a crime." She said with a wicked smile finally being playful.

"No actually I am trying to bribe my girlfriend which is a well-established and accepted practice but I am sure we can find something to do with your handcuffs. " he replied and then he finally got the one thing he had been trying to get for the last half hour, his kiss and it was long and very satisfying.

"I'll have to find them they went missing after out last adventure with them last month." She explained to him after enjoying their kiss, finally sharing the warm water with her partner.

"I believe they are under the bed. I see you haven't had need of them in the last month." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"That's what uniforms are for," she commented with a smile.

"I see, well I guess we could always call them for a pair if we can't find yours." He offered kissing her again.

"Oh I think we can find something else if they prove elusive. Now you said something about food?" she said pushing him away.

"Yes I did my lady, I shall forgo the shower and procure you the best curry in the land." he said with mock chivalry in his voice.

"Ah my knight in shining armor." she sighed with a grin only mocking him slightly. "You better get out before you rust" she said laughing as she pushed him all the way out. Alone once more she returning to the hot water and let it fall all over her and her stressed muscles. Once she relaxed enough in the shower to decompress from last night's events she knew what had to be done. She had known all along so there was no way he could take credit for it.

After she was dressed in much more comfortable clothes than the night before she picked up the phone. She had to call him and the longer she put it off the longer is would continue to stress and worry her.

"Jack it Sandra" she said when the older man answered. "We need to talk about yesterday about what you said."

"Sandra don't you think this could wait till Monday?" he asked with a sigh. He had hoped to make it through the weekend before having to talk about his confession.

"No Jack it can't" she told him firmly.

"Fine" he said knowing there wasn't much he could so to stop her.

"Jack I need to know that you can do this job without putting the lives of those around you at risk. Not caring if you live or die is reckless and while I can't stop you from feeling that way, though Christ knows I wish I could, I know I can't. But I am responsible for Brian, Gerry and any uniforms or officer that may help us; I need to know that you can still do this job without putting their lives in danger. I need to know that you can still see when other people could be at risk. Because if you can't Jack then I think...well you know what I think." She told him her voice remaining stern, she would not let her feelings for the man result in someone getting hurt.

"Sandra you know I-" he began but she cut him off.

"No Jack I don't know, until last night I didn't know how you truly felt, and now I have to know. So I want you to think about it truly think about it and we will talk about this on Monday." She said giving him an ultimatum of sorts.

"I understand Sandra, we'll talk then" he agreed, he couldn't argue with anything she was saying, so he didn't even bother. He knew the responsibility she had to the other people they worked with and if he was in her shoes he would probably have said the exact was thing.

"Thank you Jack…I'll see you Monday…bye." She replied hanging up the phone hoping the issue would be resolved on Monday for the better. She didn't want Jack to leave but she couldn't in good conscious have him out there if he was going to be a danger to himself and other. She felt arms snake around her from behind pulling her closer. "You know I didn't do that because you said something." She told Strickland as she relaxed in his arms.

"I know" he replied holding her tight.

"I was always going to handle it," she continued making it clear that he was not the reason for the phone call.

"I know but I'm responsible for you so I had to say it," he told her by way of an apology.

"I know" she sighed wishing Jack had never said anything to her at all.

"The very last thing I want is anything to happen to you, personally or professionally." He reminded her resting his head against hers, he didn't know what he would do if something happened to her.

"Of course I know" she conceded, it wasn't like she wanted anyone to get hurt on the job.

"The one small consolation would be if you died I would soon be joining you," he said laughing slightly.

"That is morbid you know, I didn't take you for the Romeo and Juliet type. You're not joining the 'doing yourself in club' are you?" She asked confused hoping he was just making an ill timed joke.

"God no but I would be the one who had to tell your mother and she would kill me for sure," he answered.

"Ah I see your point "she replied with a smile.

"Food should be here in five minutes or so" he informed her changing the subject.

"Good I'm starving. I didn't even get to eat dinner thanks to Jack. How was the food?" She asked mildly curious, she was going to be very mad at the older man if she missed out on some good food.

"Let me put it this way you wouldn't have gotten to eat dinner even if Jack had shown up" he told her dryly, to be precise the food was terrible.

"That bad?" she lamented not sure why she was so surprised they never served good food at those things.

"I'm starving in more ways than one" he replied followed by several kisses to her exposed neck and shoulders.

"Food first" she said with a wicked smile, hoping the food got there soon as she had other activities to pursue that day.

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Monday afternoon Sandra walked back into the UCOS office after interviewing a witness to find Gerry giving her a weird look.

"Governor why did Strickland drop off a pair of new handcuff for you?"

"Because I want to chain you to the desk so you might actually get some work done." She answered with a giant grin.

"Ha ha" he responded flatly.

"I misplaced mine somewhere and he was not happy with that idea" she explained walking into her office.

"Left them in your other hand bag did you?" he joked expecting a sharp replied to his slightly sexist comment.

"That's it" she yelled making him jump "you are absolutely right Gerry I did leave them in my other hand bag." she said with a smile, not quite the response he expected but it made him laugh.

"I'd leave those ones here so you don't lose them too in a different handbag." He joked but she was barely paying any attention to him she was mentally making plans for her newly located handcuffs; she couldn't wait to text Strickland.

A/N This is my favorite episode of New Tricks and I was going for a chapter with a mix of seriousness and flirty playfulness hope you enjoy. Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	42. A Death in the Family

A Death in the Family

"Are you still speaking to me?" Strickland asked as Sandra walked through the door that night.

"I haven't decided" she answered taking off her coat and tossing her handbag on the nearby chair. "You left early" she added as more of a question than a statement. Jack's farewell had lasted past eleven, no one wanted to leave and say a true goodbye to the man. Yet Strickland had skipped out after they were done eating, before the drinks had really started flowing.

"It was a party for the four of you" he responded. He was trying to determine how angry she was at him. She had been quite civil to him during their time at the pub, but he knew she was still angry at him for the events earlier that day. Stephen Fisher was a sore subject between the two of them after what happened earlier that year. She was silent as she kicked her boots off and sat down on the sofa next to him.

Sandra had been mad as hell the moment she was introduced to Stephen Fisher. Flashbacks to nine months previous when Fisher had taken Strickland somewhere and almost destroyed their relationship. She was forced to hold her tongue the whole day so as not to let him feel her wrath over the whole disaster.

Her anger had transferred to her partner the moment he told her that he had invited that man down to her domain. She was pissed. She wanted to punch Fisher not help him with a case that was 160 years old. She was so angry at both of them. At the time she could do very little given the circumstances. But she would be damned if she wasn't going to give him hell about it now that they were home.

She had started to forgive him a bit by the end of the day when Fisher threatened them and Strickland made it clear he was siding with them. Fisher had ordered Strickland around and threatened him just like he did the rest of her team. This made her hate Fisher even more.

She hadn't said anything at the pub because the pub was about Jack and saying goodbye. Now it was later, they were home and as she began to think about Fisher her anger began to grow once more. She blamed Strickland for bring that man into their lives. Whether it was fair to blame him she didn't much care right now. And her anger wasn't just about today, she didn't like feeling as though she and her team were puppets for Fisher to use in his little games.

He had done so twice already and there was nothing to stop him from doing it again. Moreover she didn't like the control he seemed to have over the man she loved. And if she were honest she was afraid Fisher would come and take Strickland away from her again. She couldn't help the anxiety she still felt from the whole series of events. She could never forget that feeling of fear when she thought he was dead. And she was mad as hell at Fisher for making her feel that way. Add that to the tidal wave of emotions regarding Jack and his departure and Sandra was soon furious at the man next to her.

"How are-" he tried when she hadn't said anything.

"Don't talk right now" she cut him off as her anger rose.

"Okay…" he said putting a hand on her arm

"And don't touch me either" she cried pulling away from his touch. He pulled back immediately as if burned.

"Sorry" he said softly. He folded his hands in front of him resisting the urge to touch her again. She was hurting he knew that and she was hurt that he let Fisher walk all over her team. She was also in pain because Jack was leaving without any notice or explanation. He wanted to make her feel better but they weren't there yet, she hadn't forgiven him. She was angry and she was directing it all at him, though he was willing to admit it was his fault, Stephen Fisher was his fault.

He knew Sandra didn't like the man, and while he hadn't had much choice when it came to Fisher and the case but he still felt responsible. And the way Fisher had talked to her and the boys was less than kind or respectful to say the least, and it had not gone over well with her.

On top of all that Strickland had yelled at her when he likely shouldn't have. They had worked hard to keep their personal lives and work separate but he had over stepped today as her boss and now he was going to pay for it as her partner. He had a feeling that the new sofa was about to become his bed for the night.

He occasionally stole sideways glances at her trying to see how she was doing and he could tell she was ready to explode. He braced himself for the hurricane he was about to experience.

"Why did you let him treat us like that? How could you?" she asked coldly with an even voice that only barely covered the seething anger underneath. His heart stopped for a minute, the only time she had been this angry was the last time Fisher showed up in their lives.

"I didn't have-"

"Don't you dare say you didn't have a choice because that is just bullshit. You may have not have had a choice about taking on the case, but you didn't have to let him talk to us that way. He treated us as though we were there to do his bidding like trained dogs. He threatened Gerry, hell he threatened all of us including you." She was yelling now and that last part had her on her feet.

"You let him use my office" she practically screamed at him and she looked directly at him for the first time. There was fury in her eyes and if looks could kill she would have been planning his funeral. "And then" she continued quietly seething once more. "You came out and asked us to make you two arseholes coffee. What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked once again replaying the day's events in her mind.

"You have seen how dangerous Fisher can be if I had known his true motives I might have fought him more. I'm sorry but I really had no choice Stephen isn't known for listening. And I tried to stand up for you by the end. I would think the fact that he threatened me as well would count for something." He wasn't exactly sure why he was trying to talk her down, she was far too mad for that.

"Oh you mean you stuck up for us once we solved the crime, done exactly what Fisher wanted. Sorry I didn't focus on that part forgive me." She cried her statement dripping with sarcasm. "And it does count for something that he threatened you, it makes me hate that man even more." She shot back at him.

"I know you dislike him and I know why. I also know this won't mean much right now but he wanted me to leave him in charge and I wasn't about to leave him alone with you." He told her weakly knowing it wouldn't do much good but he wanted her to know he would never leave her to Fisher's whims.

"Well that was good thinking but was that to stop him saying something to us or to stop the four of us from saying something to him or worse? I wanted nothing more than to hit that man." She ranted further at him.

"My intent was to protect you either way." He informed her, he wished that he could touch her, get her in his arms, but there was no way she was going to let that happen.

"Protect me, great-" she stopped herself and took a shaky deep breath trying to calm down a little. "How do you even know him, your friend who threatens you?" she asked finally.

"School, a long time ago, I can't really talk about it." The words were out of his mouth before he realized it was exactly the wrong thing to say. Last time he said that to her he got slapped.

"Go to hell" she yelled, her temper rising again as those words echoed in her head and the anxiety and fear flashed up in her. "That is just great your secret friend who now thinks we're here for his bidding. Who threatened you and takes you away from me. Wasn't it bad enough that he thought he could just call you up and get you to drop everything to do whatever he wanted? How often do you expect we'll see that man again?"

"I don't expect to see him again; he usually doesn't try the same trick twice." He said hoping that would calm her a little. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke again.

"I won't hold my breath on that one. But at least next time I won't be expecting you to back us up at all or assume you're dead when you don't call." She was hardly calming down at all, the more they fought the angrier she got and the deep breaths weren't helping at all.

"Sandra-" he started but she cut him off.

"And what was that crap with Jack, asking if I wanted you to talk to him?" She asked, she couldn't talk about Fisher anymore, just the thought of him made her blood boil and it wasn't doing any good.

"I was trying to help make you feel better you looked like you were going to cry. I may have went for a more personal response" he admitted to her.

"Why to make up for how big of an arse you were being as my boss, please." She commented sarcastically.

"Sandra I know-"

"No it's late I can't take any more of this right now. You can sleep down here on the sofa or in the spare bed or wherever I don't care just not with me." She growled at him, she didn't wait for a response, she didn't even say goodnight she just turned and headed for the stairs slamming the bedroom door closed once she was inside.

He sighed and sat back down on the sofa and pulled a blanket around him. One divorce and their five year relationship was enough to teach him that when a woman told him in anger to sleep anywhere other than their bed that meant he was suppose to sleep on the sofa. He tried to get comfortable but he couldn't find a good position. It turned out that their new soft sofa was not so nice alone. He figured it might have more to do with their fight, plus it was the point of having to sleep on the sofa. He was being punished with a sore back and sleep deprivation.

He gave up trying to get comfortable and turned his attention to finding something worth watching on the television yet another futile battle. After over an hour of trying to sleep he gave up and sat up, he decided that a book would probably better entertain him. Maybe it would stop the voice in his head that told him that she was right. He had not backed her up professionally, Fisher treated them poorly and he just let him. And he tried to over compensate by being unprofessional at the wrong moment.

Jack's decision to leave had only made everything worse and Strickland himself hadn't made it better. He was going to make her angry again when he told her she had to replace Jack. If he wasn't careful he would end up spending another night on the sofa. They could keep their personal life out of work but he couldn't keep work from affecting their personal world.

He felt like all he seemed to do was upset her, especially when Stephen Fisher was involved. In his melancholy state he couldn't help but wonder if she would be happier without him around to hurt her. But he was selfish he loved her and he couldn't give her up not after everything they had been through, he loved her too much.

"Stop it" he said to himself and with that he stood up. There was a nice long biography of George VI in the bedroom sure to distract him or put him to sleep. He looked at the clock it was almost half past one in the morning. Sandra would surely be asleep by now. He had heard the shower running after she first went up and that had been over an hour ago. Strickland could quickly sneak in grab the book and check on her at the same time. And if he saw her maybe he could actually get some sleep.

Quietly he crept up the stairs and silently he opened the bedroom door. What he saw didn't break his heart it shattered it. She wasn't asleep she was curled up sobbing, her whole body was shaking. He froze not sure what to do, she hadn't heard him and she had told him he wasn't welcome up here tonight. But he couldn't just leave her like that he had to do something to make it better, to make her better. He gently lay down on the bed next to her, if she knew he was there she didn't react. He put his hand on her shoulder and she stiffened a little.

"Sandra please let me help, let me hold you?' he begged her. At first she didn't move or say anything and he was thinking about leaving her alone when she finally turned over laying her head on his chest. She continued to cry as he rubbed her back not sure if he should say something.

"Sandra I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I acted at work, I'm sorry for Fisher and I'm sorry Jack is leaving." He said finally as he continue to hold her as she cried.

"It's all just too much, first there were you and Fisher ordering us about and yelling and every time I hear that man's name I can't help but remember the feelings and anxiety he caused when he took you. And then Jack announced he was retiring to France with no notice. He is coming in to clear out some stuff, sign some papers and that's it. He isn't even sticking around to close the Kirby case. And Gerry tried to ply him with drinks and get him to talk but he wouldn't. He's just leaving and he isn't coming back. And I want to know why. I don't want him to go." She dissolved completely into sobs once more clinging to him.

"This is Jack and whatever his reason is it has to be a good one, he doesn't do crazy things, you know that. Whatever this is he has thought it through and I think because he is your friend and colleague you will have to respect his choice." He didn't want to upset her more but he couldn't lie to her.

"Don't have much choice he wouldn't even give us a way to get in touch with him. He said he needed a clear break. I just don't understand?" She told him through her tears.

He didn't know what to say so he just held her as she continued to cry. Despite what he had said to her, he had to admit this was a bit unlike Jack. Though he was glad the man hadn't just taken off like he had the last time, at least he told them this time even if it was only a day in advance. It would be an adjustment, she hadn't been lying when she said it would affect them but he knew she could deal with Jack's absence. After a while he felt her begin to calm down, the tears stopped and her breathing evened out. He looked down and found she had cried herself to sleep. Only then did he allow himself to relax and fall asleep as well.

The next morning Strickland woke when Sandra began stirring in his arms. He looked down and he found she was awake, he held his breath for a moment hoping she would not be upset at him for last night.

"Morning" he said kissing her forehead.

"As I recall last night you weren't supposed to talk to me, touch me, or sleep in the same bed with me and you managed to do all three." He got worried but her voice was full of amusement.

"It had not been my plan, I was trying to sleep on the sofa but I couldn't sleep." He tried to explain his intentions to her.

"So even though we spent so many hours searching for the most comfortable sofa you still couldn't sleep?" she laughed.

"I'm not exactly sure it was the sofa keeping me up. I shouldn't have let Fisher treat you and the boys the way he did. I am so sorry for everything that happened yesterday." He apologized taking her hand in his.

"It wasn't really your fault" she admitted resting her head on his chest.

"I could have made the situation better but I only made it worse." He added acknowledging that his actions only made the day worse.

"I suppose that's true, I really dislike that man after what he did last year. Then he was there in the office and the way he acted and talked to all of us, he makes me so angry. And I took that out on you more than I should. I was and still am quite upset about Jack. Those two problems together caused me to explode at you I shouldn't have, I'm sorry." She told him, she honestly did feel bad for yelling at him so much the night before.

"You have nothing to be sorry for I deserved the bollocking you gave me we both know it, stop being so nice."

"Fine I do have one question when you came up here last night were you checking on me or trying to sneak in to bed?" She asked him with a smile on her face.

"Checking on you, I thought you would be asleep and I had come up to grab a book. I am not suicidal enough to try and sneak into bed with you when you're furious with me. You would quite literally kick me out." He willingly admitted, he knew better than to cross her.

"And don't you forget it" she said with a laugh. "I am glad you came up I'm not sure I would have slept if you hadn't." She acknowledged snuggling close to him.

"Well I have decided that there is no way that sofa can truly be comfortable without you." He said kissing her on the head.

"That's the point" she smiled.

"I know and I was planning on spending the night down there. You were right and I was willingly accepting the punishment." He said honestly, it was the truth just not how things had turned out.

"I wondered if you would even stay." She thought he would go back to his place in the face of her angry outburst.

"I would never leave especially not after upsetting you like that." He could never do that to her he loved her too much.

"Thank you" she said kissing him.

"Should we get up, I suspect you will have another emotional day on your hands saying goodbye to Jack for real?" He asked her thought he would have preferred to spend the day in bed with her.

"Yeah I know I have a blaring headache and I didn't even drink that much. Honestly if this wasn't the last time I might even get to see Jack I would be sorely tempted to call in sick. Do you think my boss would buy it?" She asked with a grin but he could see a few unshed tears in her eyes.

"Why do you think your boss wouldn't insist on staying home to take care of you?" He laughed; it was as though she was reading his mind. Yet they both knew that was not how today was going to be.

"Aw that's sweet but not an option today, come on up we go don't want to be late." She said making movements to get up but he pulled her back.

"I know this is going to be hard and it is going to take a lot of adjustment but I promise you everything is going to be okay." He told her as he caressed her check and she leaned into his touch. "And you should know I love you so very much." He said kissing her.

"I love you too, and thank you."

"Now we should get up and see Jack off." He added getting up and helping her up out of bed.

"You are going to shave that thing off your face right?" she called as she headed into the bathroom.

A/N I don't usually liked to do have two chapters in a row where Strickland and Sandra fight but there was only one way Sandra could react to the situation with Fisher. Hope it is a decent chapter this was a big episode. Sorry for the late posting today a few things came up. As always thank you so much for reading and for the reviews.


	43. Old School Ties

Old School Ties

"I am only going to ask you this once and that's all for the rest of the week. Have you found anyone who might be a possible replacement for Jack…his position only?" Strickland asked her quietly hoping he wasn't starting a fight.

"No and you don't need to keep asking me Gerry already got on my case about it." Sandra told him with an exhausted sigh, they were curled up together on the sofa watching television after a late dinner.

"Okay I said I was only asking once and I wouldn't push you on it." He promised her as he pulled her a little closer to him as he kissed her on the side of her head.

"Thank you, you know I think I'm going to go up and take a shower then lay down my head is killing me." She said slowing moving to get up. At first he thought she was upset about finding a replacement for Jack but then he took a good look at her. She looked completely worn out to him and she was moving stiffly, he was pretty sure she had dark circles under her eyes, and she sounded a little congested. Her head had felt a little warm when he had kissed her.

"Are you sure it's just a headache because you look a little pale?" He asked becoming concerned about her.

"Yeah it might be a migraine, or my sinuses." She assured him, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"You need me to do anything for you?" he checked still concerned for her.

"No I'm good thank you." She replied as she left the living room and slowly headed upstairs.

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"Ugh turn that off" she moaned as the alarm began to scream, she pulled the covers up around her and rolled back over away from the sunlight.

"You were sleeping like the dead when I came up last night." He observed as he moved and turned the alarm off at her requested. He turned back to check on her as best he could while she was partially hidden by the bedding. She didn't look any better than she had the night before, in fact she looked worse. The circles under her eyes were darker and she was now paler than he had ever seen her before. Her hair looked damp with sweat but the way she pulled the covers up around her made it clear she was cold.

"I feel like I haven't slept at all. No I feel like I got hit by a car and my throat hurts it is so dry and raw." She followed up her statement with a coughing fit.

"Maybe you should stay home" he suggested, he reached down to put his hand on her forehead. "You feel warm," he told her worried about her health.

"I'm freezing but I can't stay here, I have all this paper work to do and Gerry has this case he wanted us to look at, so as you see I can't spend the day in bed." She replied pushing his hand away.

"The paperwork can wait, I know your boss he will be fine with it and Gerry's case will still be there tomorrow or the day after." He informed her trying to be funny while making sure she knew that work was not a top priority right now.

"No really I need to go in to work, as you pointed out last night I have to find a replacement for Jack or Gerry is going to keep yelling at me." She continued refusing to agree to his suggestion.

"All of that can wait for a few days, I really think you should stay home, you need rest not reports." He tried once more to convince her.

"That's sweet of you but no I need to go in. You go get a shower and wake me up when you're done an extra fifteen minutes does wonders." She said dismissing his offer once more, there was no way she was staying home sick.

"Really Sandra please stay home," he begged her, she really didn't look good.

"No, now go get a shower." She ordered closing her eyes.

"Fine, but I am driving you to work you are not getting behind the wheel of a car in your condition. If you really need to go somewhere Gerry can drive you." He told her firmly as he got up out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

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"I have no idea where this stupid cold came from." She complained as he drove to work an hour later, her head was resting against the window and her eyes were closed.

"You just spent the last several days at a school, that is a breeding ground for germs and children aren't exactly good about washing their hands." He reminded her, visions filled his head of his two kids constantly wiping their nose with their hands and not thinking anything of it.

"Great" she sighed.

"I can take you back home; you don't have to go to work." He tried on last time to convince her that she should be at home.

"I'm going to work." She answered sharply ending the conversation.

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"Sandra you have been here for an hour and so far all you have managed to do is cough and sneeze every couple minutes and go through half a box of tissues. Why are you here?" Gerry finally demanded he had had enough of her coughing and sneezing and sniffling.

"Some of us have work to do Gerry." She told him coming to stand in her office doorway. "I have quite a lot of paperwork to do and I don't see you volunteering to do it therefore I don't have time to lie around in bed." Her rant came to a stop as her voice cracked and gave out.

"I'll make you some tea it'll help your throat" Brian offered heading toward the kettle.

"Thank you Brian," she sighed returning to her office.

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"That's it I don't care what it takes or what we have to do we are taking her home now." Gerry growled. It was lunch time and he couldn't take it anymore. Sandra had no business being at work she belonged in bed and he was going to make that clear to her.

"Don't you think Strickland will be unhappy if we take her home?" Brian asked, unsure of Gerry's idea.

"I don't care if he is, but he should be happy we're fixing this, he never should have brought her into work this morning." Gerry continued they weren't going to get anything done with her in that condition.

"Clearly he lost that fight so what makes you think we will win it?" Brian wondered.

"I don't plan on asking her, I am going to tell her and if that doesn't work I'll find some hand cuffs and the two of us can drag her to my car. She is sick after all how much can she really fight?" Gerry informed him, he was determined one way or another to get his boss out of the office and back home in bed.

"You sure you're not sick do you hear yourself?" Brian asked he wasn't up for kidnapping his boss and forcing her to go home.

"She isn't staying here any longer," Gerry demanded.

"We could just wait for her to pass out she looks like she is about to. Maybe we should simply call Strickland make him come down and convince her to go home." The more Brian looked at her the more he noticed how sick she really was.

"She won't like it, remember the bed incident she didn't like us going to him." Gerry reminded him, he didn't want to waste time getting the other man involved just to have Strickland refuse to do anything.

"This is different she is sick and you're right she needs to go home." Brian replied wondering if Gerry could hear how crazy he sounded. Sandra would be far angrier with them if they forced her into the car and took her home than if they went and talked to Strickland about the whole thing.

"Now, she needs to go home now. I still think we should go in there and force her to go home." Gerry continued ignoring the look Brian was giving him.

"Well Gerry that is a lot easier said than done how exactly are we going to force her?" Brian asked folding his arms in front of him and staring at the other man.

"She is sick it is two against one" Gerry countered pointing at Sandra through the window.

Their fight was rendered pointless as Strickland came walking into the office.

"Hello" he greeted them with a smile.

"I have never been so happy to see you," Gerry said releasing a grateful sigh.

"For once I agree with Gerry" Brian chimed in.

"Why what's going on?" the younger man asked confused.

"Its Sandra you need to take her home." Brian informed him.

"Now, she needs to go home now" Gerry repeated. "She is all coughing and sneezing, she has a pile of tissues overflowing already in the bin" he complained.

"And she looks liked she is going to faint. She is quite pale" Brian added concerned for his friend.

"White as a sheet I believe the saying goes. Why did you let her come to work in the first place?" Gerry asked Strickland with a disapproving glare.

"She was insistent that she needed to come in you know how she is." He told them trying to defend himself.

"Well now we're insistent that she needs to go home." Gerry countered still glaring at him.

"Yes alright I will take care of it." He said sounding more convincing than he felt.

"Good we're going to lunch and she better not be here when we get back." Gerry informed him leaving no room for argument.

"I don't want whatever she has," Brian added.

"Tell her we said good bye and we hope that she feels better." Gerry yelled grabbing his coat as he and Brian left the office.

"I will" Strickland called after them. Once the two men were gone he ventured towards her office. He knocked on the door but didn't wait for a response he just opened it and entered her office. She was hunched over her desk; her face was pale except for her nose that was red. Clearly she had been blowing it quite frequently and she looked like she was shivering.

"Sandra" he called out to her when she didn't look up at him.

"Robert what are you doing down here?" She asked raising her head to look at him before she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. She sounded quite stuffed up, much worse than the night before.

"I came down here to check on you and walked into a mutiny in progress." He informed her trying not to smile at the subdued threat.

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused.

"Gerry and Brian where trying to figure out the best way to force you to go home. I think they had settled on simply over powering you when I walked in." He couldn't help but laugh a little this time.

"I don't understand" she said staring at him.

"Of course you don't." He sighed softly. He walked over so he was right next to her and leaning down he put his hand on her forehead. "Sandra you are burning up. You are quite pale and you are shivering. You need to go home and I'm not leaving here till you let me." He told her firmly yet kindly, she was sick after all. "Plus Brian and Gerry will be quite angry if they come back from lunch and you are still here. They will carry you out of here and force you into Gerry's car if you don't come with me. So you really don't have any options. You are sick and the only place you need to be is home in bed." He finished with a deep breath, he stood there trying to read her expression to see if she was going to become angry and fight him.

"Fine I can see I am outnumbered" she moaned. Her head was killing her and she didn't have the energy to fight him even if she wanted to, which she didn't.

"In your current condition Brian could take you down" he warned her.

"I know" she agreed then dissolved into a coughing fit.

"Come on let go." He held out his hand to help her up and it was a good thing she took it because once she was on her feet she swayed around a little and he pulled her closed to him.

"Sorry just a little dizzy" she apologized to him.

"I should have never listened to you this morning but you have to be so stubborn." He replied shaking his head, she should have never gotten out of bed that morning.

"Would it make you feel better if I begged you to take me home right now?" She asked giving him a weak smile; it was the most she could manage.

"Only a little at this point" he admitted.

The drive home was quiet Sandra's eyes were closed and her forehead was resting against the cool window. It took little effort to get her back up to their bedroom and changed into a nice warm pair of flannel pajamas.

"Now go back to sleep" he told her kissing her forehead. "Do you want me to stay home with you? You should probably eat something at some point." He offered he would gladly stay if she wanted him to.

"Thank you but no you should go back to work I have no plans on ever moving again" she moaned.

"Okay well there is water on the night stand as well as drugs for your head and cough medicine if you chose to take them. Your phone is there too. call or text me if you need anything. I can come home whenever you need me." He informed her making sure she knew everything she needed was within arm's reach.

"I will, now go before I accuse you of talking to loudly, cause you are."

"Bye I love you." He said giving her a final kiss on her head.

"I love you too" she mumbled her eyes already closed.

Strickland didn't really like the idea of leaving her alone in fact he wanted nothing more than to stay and take care of her. Yet at the same time he didn't want to upset her by ignoring her request. There really wouldn't be anything he could do for her if she just slept all day. In the end he chose to go back to work for a few hours. After he returned he made a point of stopping in to check on the guys. Gerry and Brian were much happier now that Sandra wasn't around coughing and sneezing. He left them to begin looking at the case Gerry had found. He then formulated a plan, he would leave work early and stop by the deli and pick up her favorite soup in the hopes that it would make her feel better.

A few hours after he left their place he walked back into the house carry soup for her and a sandwich for him. Placing the food in the kitchen he headed upstairs to check on her. He opened the bedroom door and found her curled up asleep just as he expected. Quietly he walked over and gently sat on the bed. it was then that he notice that curled up with her was a certain teddy bear. He nearly laughed, usually the bear only made an appearance when she was angry with him.

For a moment he worried she was mad at him for forcing her to go home but he was too concerned to care if she did. Clearly in bed was exactly where she was suppose to be. What concerned him now were the beads of sweat all over her face. He wanted to touch her forehead but was afraid he would wake her and she needed all the sleep she could get. Instead he silently went down stairs retrieved his briefcase and he sat on the bed next to her, as carefully as possible he began reading the paperwork he had brought home. It was the trade off for leaving early.

Another hour passed before she began to stir and started coughing. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on him.

"What time is it?" she asked her voice was scratchy and raw. He reached over her to her bedside table and grabbed the glass of water and handed it to her.

"A little after five" he answered her, brushing some hair off her face.

"How long have you been home?" She asked and then took a long drink of water; it felt so nice on her sore throat.

"For about hour and a half, I didn't want to wake you." He reached over and put the back of his hand on her forehead. "You are really warm Sandra I should have taken you to the doctors," he sighed.

"It is a cold there is nothing they can do for a cold. There are stories all over the news and internet telling people to stop going to the doctors when they have a cold." She argued she was in no mood to go to the doctors.

"I don't think you get a fever with a cold," he countered.

"I will be fine. You got me in bed be happy with that" she huffed at him.

"Don't even think about going to work tomorrow no arguments don't even ask. You know as your boss I could make you get a doctor's note before I allow you back to work." He ordered her sternly threading to be over bearing if she argued with him.

"And my boss would find he was sleeping on the sofa when he got home," she told him trying to give him a stern look of her own but failing.

"And what good would I be to you down there?" he asked smiling at her.

"Actually you probably should sleep in the guest bedroom I don't want you getting sick as well." She replied seriously, she would feel very guilty if she got him sick too.

"That isn't going to happen. I am sleeping right here so I can keep an eye on you." He informed her taking her hand in his.

"You don't need to," she said softly.

"Yes I do. I know you like to be this independent self-sufficient detective super. But everyone deserves to be taken care of when they are sick. So please let me take care of you." He begged her he didn't care how much she argued he was determined to take care of her.

"Fine" she agreed finally giving in to him secretly happy he would still be next to her if she needed him.

"I brought you the soup you like from that deli by the office do you feel up to having some?" He asked her hopefully.

"Yeah I suppose so," she replied. She wasn't feeling very hungry but she hadn't eaten much all day.

"Okay why don't you get comfortable and I will bring you up a tray. That will give you time to put the bear back in his hiding place," he joked.

"Hey at least he doesn't order me around," she countered.

"I thought he only came out when you are mad at me?" he asked. He had been curious about her habits with that bear for a very long time.

"He is comforting don't ask me why I was never a stuffed animal person till he came along but when I get upset his soft fur helps. It just so happens that most of the time I need comforting is when I am mad at you. There now you know my secret happy; you've wanted to know that for years." She scoffed at him and muttered something about him being nosy.

"Do I get to know where you hide him now too?" he asked hopefully.

"No now go away and get the soup like you promised." She said giving him a push with what little strength she had.

"Yes ma'am," he replied playfully.

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Strickland was woken up that night by the sounds of Sandra coughing. For a moment he thought maybe she had been right and he should sleep in the other room. Then he notice she was sitting up a bit and still coughing.

"Are you okay" he asked sitting up as well, putting a hand on her back.

"Yeah" she said between coughing fits.

"Let me get you some more water" he offered eyeing her empty glass. He got out of bed and quickly refilled her glass.

"Thank you" she replied as he handed her a full glass. She drank nearly half of it straight away; thankfully it seemed to help her a bit.

"Here take these please." He said handing her some night time cold medicine. She didn't even object she swallowed the tablets without any fight. He refilled her glass putting it back on the night stand and got back into bed next to her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked highly concerned.

"Everything hurts especially my head it hurts so bad my ears hurt. Actually they are killing me they are all clogged along with the rest of my head. I keep blowing my nose but it doesn't seem to do much good." She cried softly, she couldn't remember the last time she felt this bad.

"How long have you been up?" he inquired sensing the answer was longer than he would be happy with. He glanced at the clock as he asked, it was just after 3:30 in the morning.

"About forty five minutes. I'm sorry I woke you I was trying not to," she apologized coughing once more.

"I don't care that you woke me up, all I care about is you." He said caressing her face and wiping some of the sweat off her forehead. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," she moaned.

"I don't think that is true," he replied not believing her for a minute.

"It's just a stupid inconvenient and increasingly frustrating cold. I hate being sick," she complained everything hurt it was even worse when she coughed.

"This seems to me more than just a cold I am sure you're running a fever," he told her.

"You said it yourself I need to stay in bed and rest."

"I think you need more than rest Sandra," he objected.

"I don't need to go to the doctor if that is what you are trying to say." She was prevented from saying anything else by another coughing bout.

"I don't want to fight at quarter to four in the morning all I care about right now is getting you back to sleep." He said running a hand through his hair.

"I am sure the meds you just gave me will kick in soon, you need to go back to sleep," she countered.

"How many times do I have to say it" he gentry pulled her into his arms. "I am not concerned about me right now I only want you to get better."

"I care about you." She protested as she got comfortable in his arms.

"Let me worry about you right now," He ordered softly as he started to rub her back.

"Mmm that's nice" she whispered. He didn't respond he just kept rubbing slow circles hoping it would help her fall asleep.

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Strickland woke once more to movement in the bed next to him, the sun was up but Sandra was no longer in his arms. He found her sitting up under the covers next to him. Her hair was wet and she looked like she was shivering. He sat up alarmed, he quickly pulled her into his arms and he could feel her trembling. He ran his hand quickly up and down her arms and back trying to warm her up.

"You're shivering" he said stating the obvious but he was still trying to wake up and process what he was seeing. And what he saw confused him. "Why is your hair all wet?" he finally asked.

"I woke up and my head was pounding through my ears and it hurt so bad it hurt to even touch my ears. So I thought I would take a bath see if that would make it feel any better. It was nice but now I can't seem to get warm." She half cried into his shoulder desperately trying to suck up some of his body heat frantic to be warm.

He let go of her suddenly, much to her dismay and confusion he got out of bed. He walked into the bathroom and after a minute he returned with a thermometer.

"Open up" he instructed leaving no room for objection. She tried to glare at him but she looked highly non-threatening sitting here is bed shivering with a thermometer sticking out of her mouth. He grabbed a thick knitted blanket out of the closet and wrapped it around her. He sat on the edge of the bed next to her grabbing her watch off the bedside table and checking the time. After a couple of minutes he removed the thermometer from her mouth and examined it.

"38.5 that is what is called a fever detective." He said looking over at her.

"Great," she sighed, a temperature was not good and it meant he was right which was even worse.

"You stay there let me go make you some tea," he told her as he put the thermometer back in the bathroom.

"Thank you," she moaned unhappily pulling the blanket tighter around her. She preferred when he was in bed holding her but she had to admit hot tea sounded really nice. She could already imagine the warm liquid moving through her body heating her from the inside.

He came back up fifteen minutes later a wonderful looking hot cup of tea in his hands. She gladly accepted the cup when he handed it to her. The warmth of the tea radiated through the porcelain cup reheating her hand immediately. She inhaled the steam and she couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped her lips. After handing her the tea Strickland sat back on the bed next to her and watched her silently for a few moments.

"So I called your doctor and you have an appointment in a little over an hour, drink your tea right now and once you're done I will help you get changed into something you are comfortable leaving the house in." He informed her hoping she wouldn't fight him on this.

"Just because I am running a fever doesn't mean I need to go to the doctor," she argued.

"No you're right a fever alone doesn't warrant a trip to the doctors. But a fever along with a cough, stuffed up head, soar throat, aching ears and uncontrollable shivering does require a trip, now please just drink that and stop wasting your energy arguing. You also sound like you are losing your voice the tea should help a little with that as well." He countered his tone making it clear he was going to win this fight.

"Fine but if she gets mad at me for wasting her time I am telling her it is entirely your fault." She made one last halfhearted attempt to fight him, she hated the doctors.

"I can live with that especially when she doesn't tell you that. Now drink," he ordered her.

"Fine," she growled.

"Listen to me Sandra I have seen you in a hospital bed once before and I never want to see you in one again especially because you refused to go to the doctors." He pleaded with her all he wanted was for her to get better.

"Okay" she replied softly property chastised.

"How has it taken me this long to discover that you are a grouch when you are sick?" She just glared at him. "Seriously Hermione and Rufus don't put up this much of a fight when they are sick."

"You are not exactly a saint when you are sick I'll have you know, you would be putting up more of a fight if I was making you go to the doctors." She shot back at him.

"You're probably right but at this moment you are the one who needs to get better. So let's get you dressed."

"I'm not a child," She whinged.

"If you don't need help I can head down stairs," he made move towards the door.

"I guess since you are here you might as well help," she said stopping him.

"If you insist," he laughed.

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"You want to go back up stairs to bed or would you rather lie on the sofa?" Strickland asked as they walked back into the house a while later.

"I need to change _again_ and I'm exhausted so I think back in bed sounds best." Sandra answered and he could hear the tiredness in her voice.

"You head up I will get you a glass of orange juice and you can take some antibiotics." He offered carrying a bag of groceries toward the kitchen.

"Bronchitis and a double ear infection how does that happen?" she moaned.

"By working yourself too hard and not getting enough sleep, don't even try to argue you know it's true, throw in a school full of children and you were bound to end up this way." He told coming back in to the hallway the bags no longer in his hands.

"Thanks" she said sarcastically "it was a rhetorical question."

"Sorry" he apologized coming over to her and kissing her on the forehead. "Go on up and get into bed you need as much rest as you can get," he replied kindly.

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Later that afternoon he lay there in bed stroking her, hair thankfully a few hours earlier she had fallen asleep in his arms with her head on his chest. The doctor had said it would take about a day for the antibiotics to kick in and that she should wait till Monday to go back to work. She was none too pleased to be sidelined for the next few days. The good news for the both of them was she would start feeling better in a day or two. He looked down at her sleeping form she looked peaceful as though she was finally getting some real rest. He was just glad he had taken her to the doctors and she was on her way to getting better, he hated when she was sick. He hating sitting there not being able to do anything to make her better except make her soup and tea.

Her eyes fluttered open and she caught him staring at him. He smiled down at her and she returned the smile.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he helped her sit up a little.

"A little better my ears feel a little less clogged" she told him.

"You want me to get you anything?" he offered willing to do anything to make her feel better.

"No I'm okay, thank you."

"You sure?" he asked once more.

"Yeah I like this just laying here in your arms." She smiled and closed her eyes as she snuggled into him.

"Then that's what is going to happen." He kissed her on the top of her head.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"I hardly think you need thank me for holding you I think it is part of the job description" he told her with a smile.

"No thank you for taking care of me and insisting I go to the doctors when I said I didn't need to." She said opening her eyes and looking up at him.

"I will always take care of you...always." He said kissing her head.

"You sure I have to wait till Monday to go back to work?" she tried eager to return to her office and her team.

"Yes I am sure, you know I am legally bound to listen to what your doctor says I actually can't let you come back till then, and there isn't anything you can do to change that."

"What am I supposed to do till then?" she cried. She had been hoping she could convince him to let her go back to work a day early.

"Rest you silly woman, Sandra it is Wednesday that's only two more day. Maybe by the weekend you will be feeling better and we can go out for a little bit. But first thing you have to do is get better and to do that you need rest." He was hardly surprised at her desire to get back to work but he wasn't about to give in to her.

"Fine, I don't like it, but fine" she huffed slightly.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" he asked with a laugh.

"Oh come on you wouldn't love me if I wasn't."

"We'll never know now will we?"

"Damn straight" She smiled. "I should probably call Gerry and let him know I won't be back for a couple of days."

"I already talked to him, he said to get better and rest. He also said that I was not allowed to let you come back until you are once again healthy." He informed her, giving her a look that told her she was out numbered.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" she sighed.

"That's Gerry. Since I clearly have to find ways to keep you entertained how about I put a film on for us to watch, I'll make you more tea and toast." He offered he was still determined to do whatever she needed for as long as she would let him take care of her.

"That sounds pretty good actually," she replied smiling again.

"Good I will be right back don't go anywhere," he said kissing her on the forehead before he got up.

"Wouldn't dream of it." She countered with a laugh, and he could tell she was starting to feel a little bit better. Soon she would be back to the stubborn strong willed detective superintendent he loved. With a smile he headed down to the kitchen relieved he didn't need to worry about her anymore, at least not for the next few days.

A/N This chapter is in honor of cold season may it be short and mild this year! Thankfully I don't have a cold yet we shall see how long that last. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading and the very nice reviews.


	44. Queen and Country

Queen and Country

When Strickland arrived home that evening Sandra was in the kitchen. He assumed she was cooking but to him it just sounded like she was making a lot of noise and every so often he could hear her swear.

"Hi" he called from a safe distance but she didn't respond. "Whatcha making?" he tried again.

"Dinner" she replied gruffly.

"Right I'm just going to look over some paperwork over here on the sofa," he told her. He knew from previous experience that when she was upset it was sometimes best if he just gave her space until she cooled down and was ready to talk to him.

"Fine" she growled.

They had finished the case with the Foreign Office yesterday, he knew the case had gotten under her skin but he thought now that it was over and solved she would be in better spirits. Instead it seemed she was worse. He sat there trying to read his papers but the banging and cursing was distracting him.

Suddenly there was a loud bang then a crash, followed by the sound of something breaking and then Sandra cried out in pan.

He rushed into the kitchen to find broken dishes, an over turned pot and pasta all over the floor. Sandra was standing in the middle of it all clutching her hand clearly in pain. From the look on her face she was angry and hurting as a few tears slid down her cheeks. He was immediately at her side.

"Are you okay?" he asked trying to take her hand so he could look at her injury.

"Yes… no… I don't know" she cried practically collapsing into his arms; he brought them both down so they were sitting on the floor with their backs again the stove.

"Let me see, please" he begged still trying to asses her injuries. Reluctantly she removed her right hand from the protection of her left hand showing it to him. She had a nasty burn on the top and side of her hand.

"This looks bad; we should get you to A&E," he said immediately.

"No" she sobbed as she pulled her hand back and dissolved completely into tears.

"Okay well at least let me do one thing." She didn't respond and he took that as a sign of her agreeing. He stood up and got a cold pack out of the freezer and the nearby hand towel wrapping the one up in the other. Sitting down next to her once more he took her hand back and placed the cold pack on her hand. She hissed in pain but didn't pull away. "Tell me if it gets too cold" she nodded burying her head on his shoulder and cried.

"Want to tell me what happened?" he asked her after a while, he knew her tears were more than just about getting burned.

"I was putting the strained pasta back on the stove and it slipped out of my hand which caused me to hit the boiling saucepan with my hand and somehow I knocked if off and hit the burner with my hand. Christ it hurts." She moaned as she continued to cry softly.

"Of course it hurts" he sighed. "What I meant was, are you going to tell me what is bothering you? You were angry before you started cooking I can tell from the way you were banging things around. So what's wrong?"

Instead of saying anything she just began to cry harder.

"Okay you don't have to tell me, don't worry about it." He responded trying to calm her down. She just sat there in his arms sobbing for a while as he gently rubbed circles on her back. He knew that once she calmed her tears she would tell him what was wrong.

"Why are you even with me?" she sobbed after a few minutes looking up at him with her tear filled eyes.

"Well that's a silly question. I love you oh so very much." He told her as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"But I'm always angry and mean to you and you are always understanding." She continued through her tears.

"I think you must have hit your head, because you are clearly suffering from memory loss. You know that simply isn't true." He told her with a small laugh. "I can be quite an ass when I want to be. You know that because you call me out on it, I can be grouchy and far from understanding. But I love fighting with you, I have been entranced by you since the moment we met. Why do you think I always say the wrong thing?" He told with a smile trying to cheer her up. But to his dismay she didn't smile back at him. "Seriously, you challenge me and you call me out when I'm wrong or being a prat."

"I feel like you are just suffering from Stockholm syndrome," she replied softly.

"I don't remember you kidnapping me, maybe we should recreate the events, I bet we could have a lot of fun." He tried once more to make her laugh throwing in a suggestive look at the end.

"I'm sure we could" she agreed trying to smile a little through her tears.

"What is this about?" he asked her again.

"I just want to make sure you are here because you want to be" she said as she continued to cry. "I'm stubborn and moody. I yell a lot and I often get mad at you and make you sleep on the sofa a lot." She continued listing her supposed offenses.

"Where else would I want to be? I would have thought you would have realized by now. I want to be with you for the rest of my life." He said wiping the tears off her cheeks. "I couldn't live without that sharp tongue or your biting wit telling me what to do, and yelling at me. I would marry you and I will marry you the moment you say yes. And while I believe you will say yes one day, even if you never do that's okay because I have no intention of ever leaving. I will be next to you every morning until there is no breath left in my body. And if you ever want to get rid of me before that you will have to forcibly kick me out." He smiled at her sweetly.

"You are too good for me," she sighed.

"No I think you will find that I am the one who doesn't deserve you," he countered.

"Why are you so nice when I'm a bitch?" She asked clearly her mood had not been improved by his previous profession of love.

"Okay I don't know what has brought this on but listen to me." He gently ordered her as he took her face in his hand so she had no choice but to look directly at him. "I love you, I love everything about you, you are perfect for me and I have it so bad for you that I would rather fight with you and lose than be with someone else, and win. When it comes to you- even though I lose the fight I still win cause I'm with you." He said kissing her rather fiercely to prove to her the depth of his feelings.

"Now let me take care of you," he implored her. "Let's go upstairs and get your hand cleaned up. And since you refuse to go to A&E we're going to wash it off put some ointment on it and wrap it up. And then you are going to sit on the sofa and drink a glass of water and calm down while I clean this up and order us some food. And don't you dare say I'm too good for you. You'll inflate my ego and I'll turn into Gerry Standing and we don't want that now do we?" She finally smiled at him laughing a little while shaking her head. "There's that smile I have been desperate to see. Now come on." He said carefully helping her up.

She was quite as he fixed up her hand just as he said he would. Afterwards he deposited her on the sofa to curl up in a blanket giving her a glass of water and some pain killers.

"Hear take these they will help. I will be right back. I just need to clean up the kitchen. Don't you dare start crying again while I'm away." He told her firmly but with a smile.

"Okay" she agreed giving him a small smile in return.

"Everything is just fine" he reassured her giving her a kiss.

Once Strickland was done cleaning up the kitchen, he ordered them some curry and went to join Sandra back on the sofa. To his relief she wasn't crying and she had drank most of her water.

"Curry is on the way, you will feel a lot better once you get some food in you." He promised her with a knowing look.

"Thank you" she said softly. He sat down next to her and she melted into his arms.

"Look Sandra, I know you have been feeling a little bit lost without Jack. I get it he has always been around in some way, he has always had your back, he taught you how to be a detective." Strickland was trying to approach the subject of Jack carefully, but clearly there were thing they needed to talk about.

"I got on without him when he retired the first time," she protested.

"I'm not talking about your ability to do the job; I know you can do your job quite well with a room full of strangers. No I'm talking about you personally in that head of yours," he clarified.

"Gerry likes to call it my tiny mind," she added.

"That is only because you have a perfectly petite head," he countered giving her head a kiss.

"Don't think that is the reason," she laughed.

"Right, what I mean is you are lost, in the past month since Jack left I have noticed several night where you have had trouble sleeping, at times you don't seem sure of yourself especially outside of work. And then you go all over board on this case trying to prove you still have 'it', whatever "it" is.

"I understand you are trying to figure out how your world works without him. He was family and now he is gone, that is not an easy thing to deal with. But you don't need to pick fights with me or push me away. I know Jack helped you set up UCOS, it has become your family and that is something very important. But now he is gone and you need time to heal. You also need to rest; a week ago you were in bed with a terrible cold and ear infection. I know you are still recovering whether you want to admit it or not." He was trying to be as nice and as diplomatic as he could be but he needed her to know that everything was alright it would just take time.

"Are you trying to make some point?" she asked tersely unsure if she liked were the conversation was going.

"Yes, you need a full team," he told her.

"Robert" she said in a warning tone.

"No listen to me, I know you don't want to replace Jack on your team and I learned my lesson the last time. I won't push you to make a decision. But you and I both know he isn't coming back, not this time. He has his closure. You, Gerry, and Brian are working much harder to pick up the slack and the three of you are getting worn out and if you're not careful one or all of you are going to burn out. Why do you think you got sick in the first place?" He knew this was difficult for her but she was only making it harder on herself and she needed to see that.

"You said it was the kids at that school," she huffed.

"And a weakened immune system from working too hard. Listen to me please, you are not going to be able to move on and deal with Jack being gone till you fill that position. Until you do you will always be looking over your shoulder thinking he is just around the corner. You need to fill his spot and only then will you be able to move past this, and mourn the loss of him." He told her firmly while still trying to show her that he both loved and supported her. He would always be therefore her no matter what happened.

"He's not dead" she protested and he gave her a look. "You think he's dying don't you and he went away." She challenged him as a few tears escaped her eyes much against her will.

"To go away to die in peace that sounds like Jack" he admitted, though he hoped it was not the case.

"I don't believe it" she was quite for a moment. "I don't know if I can do this" she cried sobbing into his chest once more.

"I know you can. I also know you are afraid. Afraid of being able to move on without him because then he will really be gone. And I know you are afraid of picking the wrong person. But you won't." He reassured her as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"How do you know?" she asked him felling unsure and vulnerable, two emotions she never liked to feel.

"Because I know you and you will know when the right person comes along. But you won't know until you try and maybe if you do something you will feel a little better. Maybe you can even get some more sleep, and not hurt yourself in the kitchen. Actually I think you should just stay out of the kitchen for a while, I don't want you cutting off a finger." He requested, he absolutely did not want her getting hurt again.

"I suppose there would be a lot of blood," she laughed a little.

"I like all your fingers attached just the way they are right now." He proceeded to kiss the fingers on her uninjured left hand to prove his point.

"I guess I could read over the files you left on my desk and see if any of them feel like a good fit" She finally agreed, it wouldn't hurt to at least read them.

"That seems like a good idea," he concurred.

'Remind me again when is the next time we have the kids?" she asked him.

"Next weekend why?" he answered confused at the change in subject.

"I just feel like I could use some non-adult time with them," she replied with a smile.

"I couldn't agree more." He smiled as well kissing her forehead. Any further conversation was halted by the door bell.

"That will be dinner" he smiled getting up.

"Thank you" she said softly.

"Always" he promised.

A few hours later Strickland walked into their bedroom to find Sandra fast asleep on the bed. He couldn't help but smile as he covered her with the duvet. Sandra liked to show this hard stubborn exterior but under it all she could be emotional and sappy just like the rest of them. He couldn't help but love her a little more; she was seeking a restorative solace from the kids. He had discovered long ago that no matter how terrible he felt, his children, just by being around could make him feel so much better and He was glad she felt the same way.

He know that things where hard for her right now, no one liked change and she was having trouble accepting that Jack had left them for good. It didn't help that she had so many unanswered question regrading his lightning quick departure. She wanted to know why the man who meant so much to her was no longer around. As he had suggested earlier he had his own ideas as to why the man had made this decision but she wasn't really ready to hear and accept them. He knew this was not something she could get over quickly but Sandra Pullman was not know for giving herself time to embrace her emotions. Hopefully it was enough that he understood what she was going through and he could help her with it. It would take time but he also knew she would survive it. Right now he was just happy she was sleeping peacefully. He kissed her forehead before turning out the lights and leaving her to sleep.

A/N I thought the story could sure just a little bit more of Strickland taking care of Sandra :-D Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	45. The Girl Who Lived

The Girl Who Lived

"So Steve?" Strickland asked Sandra later that night. She was sitting on one of the kitchen stools while her feet rested on the other. There was a wine glass in her hand and she watched as he finished cleaning up the remains of dinner. Since her accident with the pasta, the stove, and getting burned he had requested she stay out of the kitchen for a little while, that included the washing up after dinner. She thought he was going a little overboard but she was hardly going to argue when it came to the dinner clean up. She thoroughly enjoyed sitting there drinking wine while he filled the dishwasher.

"What about him?" she asked nonchalantly taking a sip of her white wine.

"You offered him the job" he added as he rinsed a pan off in the sink.

"I did, you were right there when I did it" she reminded him.

"Can I ask why him?" he pushed curious as to why she finally settled on the Scotchman.

"He seems just quirky and driven enough to get along with Gerry and Brian. Plus you seemed to be trying to push me in that direction through most of this case." She explained to him with a slightly pointed look.

"That maybe true, but you made the decision not me," he countered with a smile.

"True I did" she replied grinning back at him.

"See I told you that you would know when the right person came along." He told her taking a break from the dirty dishes to take a drink of his own wine.

"I suppose you did, you want a gold star?" she asked sarcastically.

"I'll settle for a kiss."

"You drive a hard bargain" she laughed leaning over and kissed him.

"You think Gerry and Brian will be okay with Steve?" He asked being serious once more.

"They have been asking for a replacement for weeks now they say they can't do all the work on their own. But I think it will take them a little while to get use to Steve, we all will. Now it is their time to deal with change" she answered. She was a bit concerned about how the three would get along with each other. Steve seemed like a pretty easy going, easy to get along with guy but Brian hated change and Gerry was a wild card. He could take a liking to Steve or view him as an outsider and give him the cold shoulder.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked still a bit concerned, it was a big step for her replacing Jack.

"Yeah we are a team that was one member short and as you said it felt right." She replied she was sure Steve was right she was just afraid Brian and Gerry would not agree.

"Then what are you thinking about so intensely? You have been watching me loan the dishwasher with that look on your face that says something is bothering you. I am just hoping it isn't my method of filling this thing." He joked while he questioned her, if Steve wasn't the problem then he had no idea what was going on in her mind. He turned part of his attention back to the dishes and began hand washing the knifes.

"This case, that man, he scared, twisted and beat these women so they never doubted him and they were too afraid to leave. I can't even imagine living like that. Scared all the time, cut off from everyone I ever knew and loved. Dependent on one man who wasn't always there, moving around all the time in fear for my life because of all the lies he told me. Those poor women really they were just girls and his little daughter already brainwashed, how long will it take for her to recover or any of them?" She exclaimed to him, she just couldn't stop thinking about Georgia and what she had been through. The faraway look in her eyes radiating fear haunted Sandra and she couldn't get it out of her mind.

"People, especially children are very resilient," he tried to reassure her, though he too couldn't seem to get the case out of his thoughts.

"Those women will never trust again," she added.

"It will take a time but people can surprise you."

"You are quite optimistic tonight" she observed.

"I have to be" he told her, his tone was strange and it confused her.

"Why I thought things turned out quite well all things considered." She said shooting him a questioning look.

"They did and I no longer have to bug you about finding a replacement for Jack." He replied with a weak smile.

"Yes, so what is the problem?" she asked it was her turn to question him.

"It's Hermione" he sighed as his daughter's name came off his lips.

"What's wrong with Hermione?" she asked him confused and concerned about the girl.

"I spoke to Helen earlier today and she told me Hermione has a boyfriend. A real one, not just a boy she holds hands with at school. Apparently they are going to the cinema this weekend," he moaned.

"That is going to make reading Facebook interesting" she laughed but inwardly she cringed, she didn't need to read about teenage love.

"Don't laugh this is serious," he admonished her.

"It isn't the end of the world" she tried to tell him, it was just a date.

"But she is going on a date and I don't even get to meet him first," he whinged.

"So you can do what? Glare at him? Threaten him? Or disapprove of him?" she asked shooting him a look of warning.

"Yes, what if he isn't a good kid?" he asked her greatly concerned.

"I'm sure her mum is not going to let Hermione go out with some would be criminal. And let me tell you this as a very important warning. The more you tell her you don't like a boy the more she will want to be with him." She informed him and she knew it was true.

"Seriously" he moaned.

"Oh yes I speak from experience. I was all set to break up with this bloke and my mum made the mistake of saying she never liked him, I dated him for another three months just to spite her. Terrible three months we fought the whole time and I did it all just to upset her." It was not one of her better moments but Grace had been far from happy either.

"Helen told me not to make a big deal out of it but how can I not this is a boy." He stressed the last word as if she was unfamiliar with dating.

"She's right there are going to be a lot of boys. She isn't going to be with this one forever. And she is going to bring the important ones round to meet you. You need to be patient." She warned him once more.

"But she is my baby!" he exclaimed.

"I know but please be reasonable" she begged him pouring more wine into both their glasses.

"So I just have to get use to this, no one asked my permission," he grumpled unhappy with the idea.

"You are going to have to accept that she is growing up" she told him cautiously.

"And what if she meets a man like Barry Flint or anyone of the murders we've arrested over the years?" He asked her working himself up and becoming more and more concerned about his daughter.

"As with everything in life you teach her and raise her the best you can and then…" she may have been using his own words on him but they were true.

"Let her lose on the world?" he finished her thought with his own fears.

"Not exactly you make her sound like the plague, but yes that's the general idea. Come on Hermione is a good kid, and she is only fourteen give her a chance." She tried to reassure him once more, Mione was not going to go off and do crazy things. Sandra could still remember what it was like to be a teenager and she felt the need to stick up for the teen.

"I don't have a choice do I?" he moaned.

"Nope I believe this one of the joys of parenting." She couldn't help but laugh at the face he made when she said those words.

"Ah the joys of parenting the biggest joke ever," he whinged.

"I have faith you can deal with this," she assured him taking his hand and squeezing it.

"I make no promises" he warned her.

"Then I guess it is a good thing I'm here," she smiled.

"Yes it is" he replied kissing her. "So what do you think you're father would have done?" He asked curious trying to imagine Gordon Pullman watching a boy date his daughter.

"Robert" she warned, the last time they talked about her dad it ended in a huge fight and him drunk on the sofa. It had been a banned topic ever since.

"No I mean it, what would the man you knew and loved; what would he have done when the apple of his eye brought home a boy for the first time? Would he have been calm or would he have threatened to shoot the boy if he touched you?" He asked her he really did want to know.

"I would like to think he would have been calm." She answered with a small smile thinking of her father.

"He was a cop, I think he would have done some threatening," he disagreed. The man would have stared down any boy as if he were a juvenile delinquent.

"You can think whatever you want," she sighed it felt like he always thought the worst of her dad.

"He had to have been an over protective father, he loved you," he explained she had clearly miss understood his previous comment he wasn't trying to fight or disagree. She didn't seem to understand that thought it was a good thing her father would have threatened her boyfriends.

"He did love me so he would have wanted me to be happy," she countered. She didn't want to believe her father would have over reacted like her partner now was.

"He would have thought no man was good enough for you, his daughter," he informed her thinking of Hermione.

"So you don't think he would have liked you?" She asked thought she already knew the answer.

"No I don't think he would have, he would have known my intentions toward you." He told her honestly with a suggestive smile.

"He would have seen right away how much you mean to me, and he would have accepted you. Just like you will do when Hermione brings home that boy who makes her eyes light up. And you won't dare say anything to risk her happiness." She countered, her dad only ever wanted her to be happy she knew that despite the way he ended things she knew how much he loved her.

"I suppose you are right, how did you get so smart?" he asked kissing her once more.

"I've always been this smart," she reminded him with a smile.

"You do know your dad would dislike me just like Gerry, Jack, and Brian did." He didn't know why but he felt the need to tell her.

"And just like the three of them he would have accepted you because you are important to me." She told him firmly, she knew her dad would have been slightly suspicious but he would have seen how good a man Robert truly was.

"So what did happen when you brought boys home?" He asked her still curious. He was now filling the dishwasher with the last of the dirty dishes as he waited for her response.

"I didn't really bring any boys home for a while. I hadn't actually gone on a date before my dad died and I was angry for a long time after that and when I finally did go out with a boy I didn't bring him home. I didn't tell my mum I just went out or snuck out." She said remembering back to those days.

"A wild child who didn't follow the rules even then." He smiled shaking his head.

"I followed the rules except my mum's, well did follow the rules until I meet those three." She reminded him, she had been all about the rules for the most of her time at the met.

"So you've said" he countered with a laugh.

"I do wonder what things would have been like if my dad had lived, all the things I never got to do with him. And I know there are all those things he did that we would have had to deal with but still I would have gladly dealt with it if it meant he was still alive and around." She couldn't help but be curious, she had been doing it most of her life. She usually tried not to think about it much anymore but his question brought it all up.

"I know" he replied sadly, he felt bad for bringing the subject up.

"There is one thing I have never wondered," she told him refusing to think about sad things right now.

"What that?" he asked.

"He would have liked you I know he would," she reassured him once more.

"No doubts?"

"None" she replied firmly.

"I am sorry we will never get the chance," he truly meant it even if the man would have disliked him.

"You would have liked him too," he added.

"I know I would" they had fought over her dad in the past and his disapproval had hurt her. He didn't want to repeat that experience, he didn't want to hurt her again. At the same time he still couldn't help but dislike her father for all the hurt he caused her over the years. Yet if the man were still alive he would have tried to get along with Gordon Pullman because his daughter loved him. And he didn't want them to fight about her father ever again not after what he did the last time. He realized it didn't matter what he thought of the man he would never let her know. He was determined to keep any conversation involving her father as happy as possible and free from judgments on his part. She had experience enough hurt and pain because of her father over the years he was not going to be the cause of any more of it.

"I still think I should get to meet Hermione's boyfriend," he told her after a minute returning to the original subject.

"Be calm about it now and you will get to at some point in the future. If you make a fuss you will turn Hermione against you," she reminded him.

"Fine" he agreed though he still didn't like it.

"It will be okay I promise" she assured him with a smile.

"Why can't she just stay little when all she cared about puppies and bunnies why do they have to grow up?" he moaned.

"I don't think I have to actually answer that," she countered trying not to laugh. He was a little adorable when he got this way.

"No you don't but things were so simple then before Facebook and twitter and boyfriends" he complained once more.

"I know but I also know you can do it because you love both your children and you want to make sure they grow up happy and healthy. Isn't that what every parent wants for their kids?" she asked him.

"Yes it is but I don't have to like the idea that my little girl is growing up and going on dates with boys." He replied pouting a little as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nope you don't have to like it but you do have to accept it." She reminded him and Strickland was quite for a while. "I know you can do it" she said nudging him.

"Thank you" he said finally.

"For what?" she asked taking a drink of wine.

"Talking me down, calming me down."

"Isn't that what we for each other?"

"Yes I guess it is. God I love you." He said as he turned the dishwasher on.

"I love you too. Now what do you say we open another bottle of wine and see what we can find on the telly?" she offered. She figured he might still need a bit of distraction.

"Sounds like the best offer I've had all night," he said standing up and holding out his hand to her.

"It better be the only offer you're had all night." She replied accepting his hand with a grin.

A/N Hope the week is going well. Good things are worth repeating repeating-Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	46. Body of Evidence

Body of Evidence

"So are you going to come out on all our cases now?" Sandra asked Strickland as they enjoyed their Chinese take away.

"Somehow I don't think you would really like that," he replied giving her a look over the glass of wine he was enjoying with dinner.

"Oh I don't know it could be fun" she teased knowing full well that if he were to actually do that she would likely kill him.

"Why don't I believe you?" he smirked calling her out. "So how was the case?"

"Fine except I feel that my computer is massively unprotected even with anti-virus and the met's firewall." She mused unhappily drinking a good portion of her own wine.

"That feels about right" he admitted the more he knew the less safe he felt about all this technology was. "Something is bothering you other than computer safety I can tell," he told her noticing she was staring off into space.

"I don't think Brian is happy with Steve joining the team." She informed him with a sigh.

"Okay other than Brian being Brian why?" He had been expecting this and he thought she had too and was prepared for it but it appeared he was wrong.

"Well Brian and Gerry both basically said they were unhappy with my decision before we started the case. But Gerry has since warmed to Steve." She tried to explain to him, it had quickly become clear Gerry had found a new drinking buddy which meant they would soon be fast friends.

"That is the way Gerry is," he observed.

"Yes it is Gerry can get on with just about everyone." She replied fondly with a smile.

"Except me" he added, he didn't take it personally but he knew Gerry wasn't his biggest fan.

"That's not true, he doesn't like higher ups but I think he gets on with you pretty well now." She informed him, she knew what Gerry could really do if he disliked someone.

"Actually he has been fairly good to me since we got together years ago." He had to agree, she might have been right about Gerry coming around to him.

"I didn't exactly give him much choice." She added filling both of their glasses back up.

Once they finished with dinner instead of cleaning up the food they agreed to move over to the sofa and they brought their wine with them so they could enjoy another glass while curled up together under a blanket.

"Oh Gerry could have found way to continue disliking me, they all could have, all three could have let it slip and that would have been our secret out." He reminded her that all three of her boys could have messed things up for them long ago.

"He did hit you," she added.

"I deserved it" he admitted, that had not been a good couple of hours for either of them.

"No comment" she couldn't help but smile and laugh. That incident was one she would like to just forget about. She felt that way about most of their fights but that one had been their first and was their worst. The incident with Fisher was still a close second in her mind though, it was just another incident she would much rather forget about.

"Really?" he asked laughing as well. He had known full well at the time that she thought he deserved Gerry's punch to the jaw.

"Yes, back to what I was talking about." She said she did not need nor did she want to go down memory lane regarding all their fights. "Gerry is fairly easy going, but Brian he doesn't like change. And I kind of snapped at him, but …what he said…I just don't quite understand and I got short with him." She told him unhappily. She felt bad when she had to yell about Brian but this wasn't even one of those times she just lashed out at him and she did feel really bad about it.

"Dare I ask what he said?" Only when pushed or stressed did she say mean things to Brian and it had him a bit concerned.

"He said we were a family and I told him we were a team," she replied softly.

"Why would you say that, they are your family?" He asked confused.

"Because Gerry Jack, Brian and I are family and now Jack is gone therefore now it just the three of us" she blurted out. It was the truth they were a family but the team as it was no longer a family.

"Ah and no one can replace Jack and they can't be part of the family" he clarified.

"Exactly" she said more harshly than she meant to. "Just because Steve joins our team doesn't mean he joins the family. I would have thought they would understand this, Brian of all people I would have thought would understand. I don't know why Brian would have thought it was going to be any different. They were upset because they didn't get a say on picking Steve but what difference was it going to make? No one that I could have interview for the job could come in and become part of the family. It doesn't work like that and I thought Brian would know that, I can't believe he even tried to argue that we could still be a family that way. But no I have to come off as the bad guy for stating what I thought we all understood." She moaned at him taking a large drink of her wine.

"This is an adjustment for all of you just give it time. Everyone deals with change differently; I can't tell you what Brian was thinking. But if you just give everyone time to deal with the change and adapt I am sure everything will work itself out. I am not saying Steven will become part of the family but things will get more comfortable around the office. You have to learn how Steve works and he has to learn how you three work." He made a mental note to drop by and have a little talk with Gerry and Brian, they deserved to know what Sandra was actually thinking and she was unlikely to ever explain it to them herself. It was dangerous territory to talk to the guys behind Sandra's back but every so often he found he needed to.

"I think Brian feels like Steve is stepping on his toes," she lamented to him. She was worried that Brian wouldn't adjust instead he would just get more upset about it and when Brian was upset he withdrew from the people he cared about and who cared about him.

"Again it will take time, he just needs to find his place, you picked Steve for a reason trust yourself, I do." He reminded her leaning over and kissing her.

"Thank you" she replied.

"Everything I said was true" he told her sincerely.

"I know but thank you for saying it. Maybe I should give Ester a ring just so she can keep an eye on him just to be safe." She said still thinking about Brian.

"It couldn't hurt she does know how to get him to come round to things." He agreed with her and they were both silent for a minute. "Did you happen to tell Steve about us?" he asked suddenly concerned about Steve's reaction to their relationship.

"I didn't" she answered him quietly. She was unsure of what to do about that whole issue.

"Do you think Brian and Gerry did?" he questioned unsure if he wanted them to or not.

"No I don't think so," she told him thinking about it. Brian certainly didn't and while Gerry was warming up to the man she didn't think he would share something so personal with the man at least not so soon. He boys had been very careful over the years when it came to her secret something she great appreciated.

"Are you going to tell him?" he asked nervously.

"I will have to at some point or things will be a little weird in the office. Finding the right moment is the hard part." She didn't really want to think about it right now. She honestly felt she needed to get to know the man better before she could share her biggest secret with him. She had to know he was willing to keep it a secret.

"I know but again you chose him you have to trust him. It seems to me you are being a little like Brian," he countered.

"Excuse me?" she squealed trying to no choke on the wine she just drank. She loved Brian but she couldn't see how the two were similar in any way.

"You chose Steve, offered him the job that was just the first stop, now you have to trust him the way you trust Gerry and Brian." He told her with a knowing look.

"I can't do that I will accept him as a member of this team to do the job. That is all I need to do," she argued with him. The trust she had with Gerry and Brian had developed over the years it was not something that could materialize in a few weeks of working with a person.

"I suppose that is true" he gave in to her he was not in the mood to argue. And trust did have to be earned over time.

"This team, Gerry Jack and Brian they were the first team I have ever stayed with long enough to create a bond with. When you climb the ladder and everyone else is trying to as well people are constantly coming and going. You get to know people but you don't bond with them. And I can't do it again, I can't bond with Steve or anyone else not like I did with Gerry, Jack, and Brian." By the end a few tears escaped her eyes, this tended to happen whenever she actually talked about Jack.

"Okay" he said wiping the tears away. "Do me a favor and just give it time, change is hard on everyone. But first I am going to take you upstairs and put to bed because I think you will feel a little better once you get some sleep. I might even suggest a hot relaxing bath I can feel the stress in your shoulders you need to relax a little more." Since Jack had left he had been very focused on taking care of her because he knew she was taking it hard and he wasn't sure she would worry about herself enough. He made sure she actually ate through the day and did all he could to make sure she got some sleep at night.

"Okay" she sighed, Strickland moved to get up but she stopped him. "Promise me you'll always be here with me?" She knew she was being sappy and needy but the whole Jack thing still had her feeling vulnerable. He sat back down and cupped her face in his hands.

"I will always be here for you with you" he kissed her cheeks where a few tears had fallen and then she kissed her lips. "But first I think am going to make love to you before you take that bath."

"Okay" she agreed happily resting her forehead again his. "Are you going to deal with the dishes too?"

A/N This chapter ends the arc of Jack leaving and everyone dealing with him begin gone especially Sandra, I felt it was important to show how she felt about bringing a new member in. Hope this chapter doesn't feel like a filler or repetitive from earlier chapters. Thanks for reading and the reviews.


	47. Love Means Nothing in Tennis

Love Means Nothing in Tennis

It was late, Sandra should have been asleep, she knew that but for some reason she couldn't get the case out of her thoughts. Usually a glass or two of wine and a few hours of decompressing was enough to allow her to move past whatever feelings a case brought up. But not this case. She turned over in bed for what felt like the millionth time.

"What's wrong?" Strickland's voice was almost a whisper yet it still made her jump. She thought he was fast asleep.

"This case it won't let me sleep" she replied softly. Even though they were both awake something about the middle of the night made her feel as though she should be whispering.

"The one with the Tennis star?" he asked as he pulled her into his arms.

"Yes" she answered with a sigh. "I know there are horrible parents out there; we see it all the time. They abuse their kids, neglect them, and abandon them. I don't quite understand it but I guess over the years I have come to accept it. But what I don't understand is how you can let a grown man sexually abuse your daughter and not care because he is making her a star. Then to let a second child into that world as well, that is just wrong. I can process how in the heat of the moment she accidentally pushed her daughter off the balcony. It is horrible but I understand it. Offering your child up like that to a sexual predator on the other hand I am just at a loss and that's why I can't sleep." She told him, she was ranting a little now breaking the stillness of the night but she didn't care she was upset.

"I wish I had an answer for you but I am just as perplexed as you," he wanted to make her feel better but this case had him just as confused and horrified as she was.

"Well that is a slight lie, the reason I can't sleep is Hermione," she admitted.

"Hermione? Why?" he asked now complete confused he had no idea what his daughter had to do with her sleepless night.

"And Rufus but mainly Hermione, I keep seeing her as the one being hurt every time I close my eyes." She told him, for some reason instead of seeing the victim's sister in her mind she kept seeing Hermione and it was very unsettling to say the least.

He didn't answer he just kissed her on the head.

"It's getting harder to work cases that involve children. Every time I look at child in a case all I see are Hermione and Rufus." She moaned to him looking for some help.

"Welcome to being a parent" he replied it was not the response she was looking for.

"Seriously I am become concerned it is affecting my work" she pushed back, she was having a problem with this and she needed help. She thought he would treat her issue with more concern.

"Sandra I'm very serious this is what happens when you are a parent. It started for me the moment they were born and has been happening ever since. First it was cases with babies but as they grew every child in a case transformed into Mione and Roo. All I could think was what if it was my child that was hurt or killed or molested." He explained to her, he knew exactly how she was feeling and there was no magic way to turn these emotions off.

"How do you deal with it?" she cried softly.

"All you can do is try hard not to give in to the emotions. It has gotten a little better as they have gotten older, but being in management has made it much easier I don't have to stare at the evidence of child abuse and murder all day." He informed her with a weak smile.

"We don't usually get many cold cases with children they are adults by the time we get the case. But this last one and the one at the school I just couldn't stop thinking about them, especially this tennis one. I would kill anyone who tried to hurt Hermione like that and I mean that literally." She told him and the tone of her voice made it clear she was quite serious not that he had any reason to doubt what she was telling him.

"I know you do" he assured her. Even though he already knew she would protect his children he still felt a wave of love when she said it.

"But this girl's mum just offers her up, how could she do that?" She cried her mind couldn't wrap itself around the concept. Parents are supposed to protect their children not offer them up to sexual predators.

"There are good parents and there are bad parents," he reminded her.

"Some parents don't deserve to be parents" she growled. If she had her way that girl's mum would never get out of jail.

"You've always known that" he told her once more.

"But it is so much harder now," she sighed. He was right, everything she said was old news but now that she cared and felt responsible for Hermione and Rufus it all felt so real and raw and unbearable.

"I have been telling you for a while that you are a parent maybe now you will believe me." He replied giving her a knowing look.

"Robert please," she didn't like talking about the subject.

"No it's true you are a parent and your unwillingness to accept that fact is only because you are afraid." he continued. He was determined not to let subject go this time, they were actually going to talk about it.

"Of what?" she asked but only to hide the fact that he was right.

"Scared of over stepping and you don't need to worry about that. You are one of their parents like it or not. You're kind of stuck with them now. Doesn't matter that we aren't married, we act and live as though we were. The piece of paper and vows don't make much difference in this area. And if you asked either one of the kids they would say they have four parents. And that's okay." He tried to explain and reassure her that it was alright she didn't need to be afraid.

"I feel like I don't have a right to feel this way," she admitted quietly. They weren't actually her children she felt like she wasn't entitled to care about them the way she did.

"Why because they aren't biologically yours?" he asked kissing her on the head.

"Yes because they already have a mum" she cried uncomfortable once more as if she was doing something wrong.

"And they have a dad but that doesn't mean they don't listen to Andrew when he tells them to do their homework or go to bed or clean their rooms. That doesn't mean they don't love him, and it certainly doesn't mean he doesn't love them and care about them in return. They listen to you just as much as they listen to me. They love you just as they love me and their mum and Andrew. This whole divorced and blended family thing isn't easy I know. That doesn't mean you don't have every right to love and care about them because have no doubt they love you. We would not be together now if you didn't love and care about them so why do you think you shouldn't be allowed to express those feelings." He told her honestly he couldn't have a relationship and a life with a woman who didn't love his children.

"I know you're right it's just hard to accept that I'm not over stepping because I love them both very much. I always thought the hardest part of being a parent was getting a child to listen to you. No it is dealing with all these bloody emotions." She moaned it was all so complicated and it was hard to be a parent and a police officer she understood that now.

"I know and no one warns you about it. And it is worse being a cop we see up close everything horrible that can happen to them." He said empathizing with her and how she was feeling.

"I was right five years ago when I said that we wouldn't make it if your kids didn't like me." She told him with knowing smile.

"Yes I suppose you were but I was right when I said they would like you. You enthralled them from the moment they met you and you have always been there for them." He replied smiling back at her.

"I am pretty sure that was the head wound. It isn't fair that I don't remember much of that day." She complained, her memory really was patchy for that whole weekend thanks to a nutter with a brick. If she hadn't lived through it she almost wouldn't have believed it had actually happened it sounded too preposterous to believe.

"Gerry and Brian remember you could always ask them," he suggested but he couldn't help but laugh a little.

"That's okay" she objected shaking her head. She didn't need to hear their version of events complete with Gerry's colorful commentary and Brian's assessment on how she could have been seriously injured.

"Hermione and Rufus love you as much as I do and I knew they would." He informed her for the hundredth time taking them back to the topic of his children once more.

"I think you are highly biased," she countered.

"So what? You know the reverse is true" he continued.

"You've lost me?" she didn't know what he was refereeing to.

"You wouldn't have stuck around if you didn't like my children," he explained to her.

"That is the stupidest things you have ever said how I could I not like them. I'm not heartless you know." She scoffed at him, she may have felt slightly intimidated by children but she could never dislike them.

"I rest my case," he replied with a grin.

"Right, so tell me what do you do when you can't sleep because every time you close your eyes all you can see is someone trying to hurt Hermione?" She asked curious as to how he made it through the last fourteen years. She also really needed to know so she could get some sleep tonight.

"Honestly?"

"Yes" she nodded hopefully.

"I don't get much sleep I turn the telly on or try reading. I try and tell myself that I'm never going to let anyone hurt her. But my brain knows better. I can't always be there especially now that she is getting older." He told her honestly; when a case reminded him of his children he never was able to sleep much.

"So you are saying I'm screwed for the night," she sighed it was not the answer she was looking for.

"Yep, it was easier when they were little and I lived with them. I would get up and go in their bedrooms and watch them sleep. I could see they were safe and happy. That helps a lot. But I wouldn't do that now I would likely wake them and they would be less than happy and confused." He joked a little trying to make her feel a litter better.

"Oh Roo is grumpy when you wake him when he actually has to get up, he would be none too pleased," she commented with a laugh.

"Yes he would and I love that you know that," he leaned slightly over and kissed her.

"You are in quite a sappy mood tonight. He has growled at me enough times of course I know that." She told him slight confused by his mood, she was talking about having nightmares about someone hurting the kids and he kept telling her he loved her. It was sweet but not helpful.

"You know you are acting like it was a forgone conclusion that you would have stuck around with my children. Lots of women head for the hills when they find out there are kids from a previous marriage. Either they don't want kids or they want kids that are biologically their own. Trust me," he was speaking from experience. Children had a tendency to scare woman away.

"Well those women shouldn't be allowed to have kids. Did that Berlin bitch ever meet them?" She asked him, they didn't usually talk about past lovers but he opened the door and she was curious and couldn't resist asking.

"No never got that far thank god, I don't know if I could have done it, introduced her to them." He thought back to that disaster of a relationship. His children would have hated Christy Berlin any way.

"Thank god," she exclaimed and he just laughed at her comment. "I knew you had kids and I knew you deeply cared about them, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when we started dating. I just wish you had told me how getting emotionally invested with your kids would affect my ability to sleep." She moaned at him. When they first began dating she knew his kids were part of the deal and she was okay with that, she just had been afraid his children would hate her.

"I think deep down you knew this could happen," he countered, she was smart and intuitive she knew how children in cases made everything much harder.

"Yes and if I am honest these feelings have been around for a while I just have tried to ignore them at work. But this case was the worst," she confessed.

"I know" he pulled her closer rubbing her arm.

"I never expected to be anyone's mum or step mum for that matter," she mused, the thought that she might become one hadn't crossed her mind for a very long time until he came alone.

"Well I have been telling you for a while now that you are one. Nice to see you finally believe me." He replied smiling at himself for finally managing to convince her he was right.

"You do know I have no idea what I'm doing, I have been making it up as I go along for these last five years." She warned him trying not to panic at the thought of messing something up. It was better when she just denied the truth.

"I've been making it up since the day they were born," he laughed.

"But I feel like I should have read a book or two, thought I think it is a little late now" she exhaled nervously.

"Doesn't help I've read a bunch there is no guide book for raising kids and don't believe anyone who says otherwise," he informed her firmly. No book could ever cover everything because every child was different. He tried for years before he realized that fact and gave up finding every solution in books.

"Good thing your kids are highly likable." She said laughing, it was a bit of a joke but it was a very true statement at the same time.

"I know isn't it?" he grinned. "So you think you can go to sleep or should we see what's on the TV?" He asked bring them back to her original problem once more.

"I think I might actually be able to fall asleep now," she said as she tried to cover a yawn.

They snuggled down under the covers and Sandra was finally able to find a comfortable position.

"Thank you for sharing them with me" she whispered softly.

"Thank you for sticking around," he whispered back.

A/N We are getting down to the last bunch of chapters and I felt the two needed to revisit the issue of the children and Sandra being a parent to them, I hope you all like the chapter. Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	48. Dead Poets

Dead Poets

"Are you telling me your dead poet is actually alive?" Strickland asked as they ate dinner. It had been a rather stressful week and he had insisted they go out to her favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner.

"Yes he is" Sandra confirmed taking a sip of her wine.

"Well that is a surprise I suppose, and a horrible gangster was actually the one killed and burned?" He still couldn't believe everything she was telling him.

"Which was why we couldn't find heads or tails of him," she continued between eating her chicken and fried rice.

"That isn't the worst out come," he pointed out.

"No I suppose not and a very pretentious poet is insisting on taking the blame. I wonder what types of poems he will create living behind bars." She laughed thinking about that man in a jail cell.

"I might even read it" he said smiling back.

"Oh you want to hear a good one?" She asked finishing her rice.

"What? Better than a jail cell poet?" he laughed. This was exactly the relaxing dinner he had needed when he suggested going out. And Sandra as usual was able to raise his spirts in minutes.

"Yes even better than a jailed poet who was voted Britain's sexiest poet," she added that last part making the whole situation even more humorous.

"I am all ears," he grinned.

"So through almost the entire case Gerry had been so opposed to all this poetry stuff, ranting against it at every chance. Then he spouts off a line of poetry to his pissed off woman at the mobile network and she melted into his arms. Now he is a believer. I think I even heard him say it is better than Viagra." She could barely hold her laughter back as she told him the last part.

"Oh I would love to see him spouting poetry," Strickland said imaging the whole thing in his head; he was having a bit of trouble envisioning Gerry Standing reciting poetry.

"He better not be doing it at work. That is the last thing I need." She sighed exasperated.

"So you're not into poetry?" he said trying not to laugh, it wouldn't do to upset her.

"I'm good thanks" she began eating once more.

"Oh come on" he replied but she only gave him a look and continued eating her dinner. "Right then" he continued clearing his throat and taking her hand. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou are more lovely and more temperate-"

"That's enough can I have my hand back so I can eat?" She cut him off she had her fill of poetry over the last few days she didn't need his cliché on top of it.

"I do know more:" he professed but released her hand anyway.

"Rather cliché don't you think? How many women have you tired that on?" she asked grinning at him.

"Only one a long time ago," he admitted mentally cringing at the memory.

"And how did it work out?" she laughed.

"Not that well" he admitted a bit embarrassed.

"I think you need to be more original" she suggested.

"Ah right let's see" he said trying to think of something.

"Not with me, I don't need poetry from you," she cried stopping him once more but she couldn't' help laughing a little.

"And why not?" he asked curious, though not surprised she didn't go for poetry.

"I already love you; you don't need to win me over. I already know how wonderful you are. And you a very good at saving very sweet, kind, and loving things to me and all of which are your own original thoughts. There is absolutely no need to put them in verse or count syllables or make it rhyme. I like you the way you are. " She told him sweetly.

"You sure?" he said offering to provide her with some poetry if she requested.

"Yes of course I'm sure" she scoffed at him, the last think she wanted was him plying her with bad poetry.

"So you don't like poetry?" he questioned raising an eye brow.

"I just haven't figured out what part it plays in my life that's all. I get a book there is a beginning, middle, and an end. There are characters you meet them, learn about them, and get invested in them. Then something happens to them followed by a resolution. I feel like I have gotten something out of a book when I read it. But poetry doesn't have all that." She admitted to him, she just didn't get poems. Sure some of them were fun to read but the advance poems were just beyond her.

"I think some people would say that is all there in a poem you just have to look for it." He tried not to laugh while explaining the finer points of the art form.

"I don't want to have to decipher it. If I want a puzzle I'll do a crossword. No trying to decode a poem only leads to pretentiousness and paranoia and I have enough of that at work." She huffed at him before taking another drink of wine to soften the memories of the case.

"You surely do," he agreed thinking of her unique team.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" She asked him changing the subject to address the elephant in the room.

"I don't know what you mean," he replied shooting her a confused look.

"When you came down to my office tonight you were upset. At first I thought one of the guys had done something. But you didn't say anything so I know it wasn't them. I have been waiting all night for you to tell me what's wrong." She informed him with a pointed look.

"Just the usual, the higher ups want to save move money, the men on the ground need to be able to do their job. And it just felt like no one wanted to listen to me this week. And that's why I wanted to go out someplace you liked so at least something good could happen this week. Other than you solving a murder, and apparently bring a dead poet back to life." He let out a great sigh exasperated with the whole situation.

"Well you know I do have great power over life and death." She joked trying to get him to smile.

"I know you do," he laughed much to her enjoyment.

"I'm sorry your week was so frustrating. I bet you could use a nice long massage starting with those shoulders, even from over here I can see how tense they are." She proposed, dinner had relaxed her and now she wanted to relax him somehow.

"You do manage to come up with the best ideas" he smiled at her and her suggestion.

"I have an even better one I say we go home and we don't leave the house until work Monday morning. Hell we might spend a good part of the weekend in bed." She offered with a mischievous grin.

"Has anyone ever told you you're perfect?" he inquired grabbing her hand and kissing her.

"It has been mentioned once or twice," she continued to smile at him.

"Well you are and you know just how to make everything feel better."

"After all these years I should hope I know how to make you better."

"Nobody does it better."

"Okay James Bond hurry up and finish your dinner so we can go home." She said shaking her head at him comment.

"Yes ma'am" he said beaming at her and she gave him a big smile back as she proceeded to finish her wine.

A/N Sorry it's a short chapter but I hope it was a sweet one, thanks for reading and the reviews.


	49. Blue Flower

Blue Flower

"DCI Rosser is a complete and total prat," Sandra vented to Strickland. They were sitting in her office alone, Gerry, Brian, and Steve had long since left for the evening.

"Well he doesn't like you either," Strickland replied with a smile that did little to abate her irritation.

"He walked in here having already decided that we didn't matter, we were hardly worth his time." She continued to rant; she blamed him a bit for her foul mood.

"I think you'll find he found he was mistaken," he told her sensing the anger she was directly at him and he was trying to make her feel better.

"Not sure his ego allows him to think he is ever wrong," she huffed but she let her anger go a bit.

"Nice to see you get angry at someone else for a change. It is much more entertaining to watch you yell at someone than being the one yelled at." He and daring to smile at her.

"Why do you think the boys prefer I yell at you not them," she grinned at him.

"Well they better not have had the same thoughts I did while watching you yell at the DCI." He countered giving her a look that told her exactly what he had been imagining as she was busy yelling at Rosser.

"Oh care you share?" she asked seductively.

"I found you incredibly hot and sexy when you yell just so it isn't me getting in trouble." He would have said more in greater detail but they were still at work in her office anyone could walk in and over hear.

"Is that why you let me talk to my suspect first?" she inquired with a mischievous tone.

"No I actually did it because it was the smart way to proceed. If we came at him for the murder charge and then the identity theft he would be more likely to talk about the later seeing as there was a higher charge to avoid. I am tired of being yelled at by you so it was a win win for me." He informed her honestly part of him would love to give her what she wanted all the time but it wouldn't end well and when it was all said and done she would have hated him for it.

"You should have stuck with the sexy angle it is more romantic," she teased him.

"Also I knew you were the better interviewer you had a much greater chance of getting him to talk then Rosser. He doesn't have the finesse though you know he is right identity theft is quite a big deal." While it sounded as though he was trying to butter her up he meant it sincerely and honestly she was a better cop, investigator, and interrogator than the younger man.

"I do, though most people would agree that it is a lot easier to come back from identity theft than it is to come back from the dead." She said bring the conversation back to the fact that Rosser believed his case was more important than hers. An option she did not agree with.

"That is true" he agreed and they were both silent for a while.

"It feels nice to be able to tell someone that their parent really was a good guy and not the villain they thought they were. I never really get to do that." She sighed changing the subject.

"Sandra don't do that to yourself please I know that statement is really about your father not the girl in this case. You loved your father and he loved you and who cares what anyone else thinks." He told her firmly, he knew she wanted to feel the way that girl did finding out the horrible actions of her father were just a lie.

"It would just be nice to hear someone way something good about him." She signed she wouldn't admit it but she felt a little jealous why couldn't it have been her father that people were wrong about.

"He was a good man who made a few mistakes. But remember the only reason he killed a man was to save a child." He reminded her hoping it was help. Strickland didn't want her to go down that rabbit hole for the hundredth time. She had come to terms with her father's legacy and he thought she had found some sort of peace with what the man did.

"I know all I said was it was nice to give someone good news for once. Usually we have to explain to people the horrible things their family members have committed. It was simply nice to do the reverse for once. I liked getting to do it." She told him hoping he would leave the topic of her father alone they only seemed to fight when the ghost of Gordon Pullman came round.

"Well Hermione is a teenaged now so any time now she should start hating me because I dare to tell her what to do. So please feel free to tell her any time you want that I am actually a good guy not someone who is just around to ruin her life." He knew Sandra was still thinking of her father but he couldn't think of anything else to say that would make her feel better and he didn't want to end up fighting so he went with humor instead.

"As a former teenage girl it won't do any good the more people who told me my mum was a great mum the more I didn't like her." She told him regretfully, she secretly hope Mione would go easy on her dad during her teenage years to come.

"Figures it would back fire on me," he sighed unhappily.

"Hey being a teenage girl is hard," she reminded him.

"It's not exactly easy being a teenage boy either," he countered suppressing an involuntarily shiver when he thought of his formative years.

"Well you remember that in a few years when Roo becomes one," she added.

"Christ" he said rubbing his face with his hands. "What if they get older and hate me?" he asked concerned.

"Please tell me you are not insinuating I hate my mother," she eyed him carefully.

"No of course not I know you love your mother you two just don't communicate that well. No I mean what if both of them grow up and start resenting me for the divorce and not always being around. Children love their parents automatically but they grow up and realize they have a choice. What if she chooses to hate me?" He asked her again he had this wave of images of his daughter yelling at him about the divorce and everything he missed and her telling him she hated him and never wanted to see him again.

"I really don't think she is going to she loves you she understands why you got divorced she hasn't had much issue with it in the last five years. But if for some reason hormones kick in and she goes through a complete personality change you will just have to deal with it. Didn't you once tell me that it was more important to keep them safe than to be their friend." She reminded him and once more he hated when she used his own words against him.

"Yeah but you hope they grow up into adults who understand why you did what you did." He explained the older his children got the less sure of his parenting abilities he became.

"Well you got a little while till she becomes an adult. I really do think you are worrying for nothing she is a good kid. But I get it; it's hard not to worry about them. You want to protect them from everything and you can't." She had heard people say those words but until his two kids became part of her life she hadn't truly understood what that really meant.

"Yeah I am figuring that out. It use to be all I had to do was kiss a bump or scrape or cut and it was better. Now boys get to break her heart and I can't do anything about it." He moaned all their life his one goal was to protect his children but it was getting harder and harder as they grew older.

"I think you will find just being there helps," she said trying to make him feel better.

"God I love you" he said pulling her to him and kissing her. He didn't care who saw them he didn't know what he would do if she were not part of his life, it was a thought he had on a daily basis.

"That's good cause I love you too. Now stop worrying we solved a case it's a good day." She reminded him taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"You are right let's go get something to eat." He suggested smiling at her.

"Okay who needs paperwork right?" she said with a laugh. "Hey tomorrow is Friday why don't we catch a film we could grab dinner beforehand you know have an actual date night" she asked him.

"I would love to do dinner and a movie with you but I have a reception with the commissioner and the mayor. You will have to have a quite night without me sorry. Why don't we go out Saturday night?" He offered instead he hated having to turn down her offer of date night but unfortunately work came first.

"Yeah that sounds good" she agreed but her tone was flat. She hated going to functions like that just as much as he did. Yet she couldn't help but wonder if it would be better if she got to decide if she wanted to go or even if she was forced to attend one with him every so often.

"You don't know how much I would love to skip it. Be glad you don't have to worry about these silly events." He replied he could see her smile fade when he had to tell her they had to spend the night apart. He thought the offer for Saturday night would have made her smile return but it didn't. She looked dejected and he didn't want her to think he got any enjoyment out of these events.

"Oh believe me I am glad I don't have to go" she told him. She had said those words many times over the past four and half years. Yet this time she no longer believed them. It wasn't the boring reception she wanted to attend she wanted to be with him on his arm for all to see. These feelings shocked her it was the first time she had ever caught herself wishing people knew about them. If people knew things would have to change and she didn't want her life to change. She had finally gotten use to Steve being around working with. She was not in the mood for any more changes especially one that big.

"Hey are you okay?" He asked pull her out of her thoughts.

"Yes sorry just tired." And crazy she had to be crazy to actually want to go to one of those horrible receptions even if it was to spend more time with him.

"I promise Saturday night I am all yours but tonight after we eat I think you should take a bubble bath and then I can give you a nice long relaxing massage." He told her he still felt the need to make things up to her. He stood up and held out his hand to her

"That sounds heavenly. How did I get so lucky to have you love me?" She asked him as she accepted his out stretched hand and stood up.

"I'm the lucky one trust me."

"I love you, you know that right?" she asked him as she stared into his eyes wondering what he saw when he looked at her.

"Of course I do" he assured her, her voice sounded strange and he decided she needed to relax and sleep as soon as possible. Paperwork was going to have to wait he was taking her away from her office right now. He helped her with her coat and together they walked out of the office. The whole time he couldn't help wonder how he ever got so lucky all those years ago when she agreed to go to dinner with him.

A/N As always thank you for reading and for the reviews.


	50. The End of Jack Halford

The End of Jack Halford

Strickland tried to keep the panic down as he rushed in to the UCOS office. Almost an hour ago he had received an alarming text from Sandra all it said was 'I need you my office now HELP". Yet as he raced into the office all he found was Steve sitting on one of the chairs going through some files. The man did not seem surprised to see him there nor did he seem taken aback by his panicked behavior.

"Where is Sandra" he blurted out as he gasped for air, though immediately he composed himself a little. "Where is Detective Superintendent Pullman?" He asked being overly professional to cover for his earlier question. "I received an urgent text message from her saying she needed me that there was some issue needing my immediate attention." He tried to sound calm all the while the panic only continued to rise when he couldn't find her.

"She went home; all three of them went home." Steven answered hesitantly as though he were afraid to tell the man what was going on.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"I think it would be best if she told you. She didn't feel like waiting around for you any longer. I think she figured she would tell you once you got home." The Scotsman responded and as he did he refused to look Strickland in the eye.

"I take it that means you know about me and Sandra, only she didn't tell me she told you." Strickland replied momentarily distracted.

"She didn't, I figured it on my own, I am a detective and I confirmed it with Gerry and Brian. No worries there sir I understand the situation." He assured his boss, he wouldn't tell anyone about their relationship.

"Well thank you for that," he nodded at the older man.

"I think you better be getting home she is going to be wanting you, Gerry drove her home." Steve told him reminding him of why he came down to their office in the first place.

That statement made the panic rise back up in him, he desperately wanted to know what happened, and he knew she would never use 'HELP' in a text that way unless something seriously bad had happened. He had expected someone was hurt but according to Steve they were well enough to drive home, all except Sandra that was. Why did she need Gerry to take her home, if she were hurt wouldn't she need him to take her to A&E? These were all questions he felt needed answered, yet the man in front of him didn't seem to concerned.

"Right, thank you" he finally said to the other man, more of an afterthought as he rushed out of the office and to his car. He made his way home as fast as he could without obeying any of the posted speed limits. Once there he bolted through the front door.

"Sandra" he called out wildly searching for her. "Sandra" he yelled as he ran up the stair to their bedroom. There he finally found her curled up on the bed crying. He shed his suit jacket and shoes as he quickly as he could and climbed on to the bed next to her.

"Sandra what's wrong what's happened? Why did Gerry drive you home?" he asked. She turned over and buried her head in his chest.

"Its Jack" she cried through her tears. "He's dead."

"Oh Sandra I'm so sorry" he said pulling her closer rubbing her back.

"You were right he did go away to die, he had liver cancer that is why he left." She managed to get out through her sobs.

"I see" he said softly.

"Brian knew the whole time." She cried dissolving into violent tears again.

"He what?" he asked shocked. "How did he know?"

"Jack told him, Brian confronted him before he left, he found out the woman he kept getting calls from were actually a hospice that was supplying Jack with the drugs he would need." She tried to explain but she couldn't control the tears as they slid down her cheeks.

"I'm sure Brian wanted to tell you," he reassured her.

"He did Jack made him promise not to tell any of us, he didn't want us contacting him in any way. Which of course we would have had we known. I don't blame Brian for a minute Jack asked him to keep it quite. Brian was afraid we would be mad at him for keeping the secret. I just wish I had known when he left that I would truly never see him again, so I could have been prepared for this." She was finally beginning to calm down now that he was home and she could coherently begin to explain the situation to him.

"How did you find out?" he asked uncertain how all of this came to light if Jack had been keeping it all a secret. He moved them so they were sitting up against the head board, he had his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest.

"We got a letter; his solicitor was instructed to send it once he was dead. He died two weeks ago. He didn't even want us showing up for a funeral, there wasn't one." She couldn't believe that Jack had died and she didn't even know it. As they went on with life as normal Jack had slowly slipped away alone. It was hard enough knowing he was gone but to not even know it was coming made it much harder.

"I'm so sorry I know how much Jack meant to you," he didn't know what to say instead he just continued to rub her back.

"I just can't believe he is really gone," she started to cry even harder once more.

"I'm so sorry" he repeated as he held her and rubbed her back. There wasn't anything that he could say that would make it better. He had his suspicions that Jack had left because there was something wrong with him. Yet he was still shocked that the man was dead he had only left three months ago.

A while later her tears and sobs had finally subsided and she lay there with her head on his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair calming her. He had no idea what to do or say he only hoped that his presence and embrace was providing some comfort to her.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked finally.

"No" she answered softly.

"Are you hungry?" he tried.

"No" she replied flatly

"When was the last time you had anything to eat?" he pushed.

"I'm not hungry" she growled, she tried to turn away and out of his arms but he held her tight preventing her.

"I'm just trying to help" he told her evenly, he knew she was upset and hurting.

"You can't make it better." She said harshly but at least she didn't try moving away again. He wasn't all that surprised by her anger but he tried to ignore it as best he could. She was in pain and there wasn't much he could do about it and he was the only person around for her to take her anger out on. He knew better than to take it personally.

He chose not to question her anymore he simply held her as she cried in his arms. They continued to lay there on the bed as slowly the sun set and the room began to get dark. Strickland could feel her crying silently but after awhile she stopped trebling in his arms and he looked down at her to find she had cried herself to sleep clearly exhausted.

The remainder of the week was not a good one for the detective superintendent or the UCOS team. Sandra shifted between arguing with just about everyone and crying at the drop of a hat. Emotions were running high in the office and it didn't surprise Strickland when they erupted two days later.

Thursday afternoon Gerry and Sandra had a knock out drag out fight over something stupid and unimportant. Neither was dealing with Jack's death very well and it left Steve stuck in the middle as Brian sat there quietly feeling like it was somehow his fault. The two didn't stop fighting until Brian stood up and yelled at them to stop. He reminded them that Jack wouldn't want them to fight and then fled to the loo. The three were stunted for a moment, Sandra was the first to respond, she retreated to her office and began to cry while Gerry sat down at his desk and buried his head in his hands. That only left Steve as the odd man to go after Brian. While Steve was in the bathroom trying to reason with Brian both Sandra and Gerry fled the office without saying a word to each other or the other two men.

When Strickland got home that night he found her curled up on the sofa crying hysterically, evidence of her destruction was all over the place. There was a broken wine glass in the sink, the post was tossed all over the kitchen and various other magazines and books were strewn all over the living room, clearly she had thrown them in a fit of anger. He didn't say anything to her about the mess he didn't even bother to clean it up. Instead he went over and keeled down next to the sofa; he brushed the stray hair off her face and kissed her. At first she didn't respond and then she suddenly kissed him fiercely. It was an unexpected response but Strickland didn't pull away he simply continued to kiss her hoping to comfort her in some way.

They soon found their way up to the bedroom, he wanted to take her slowly and comforting but it soon became clear she had other ideas, she wanted something more aggressive as though she were proving to herself that she was still alive and he gladly provided what she felt she needed. Afterwards they lay there in each other's arms catching their breath. He held her tight as she shivered in his arms.

"You want to talk about what happened?" he asked her carefully as he pulled a blanket around them. It was the first real words either of them had said since he had arrived home an hour before.

"Gerry and I got into it over the tea, the argument was stupid but then it suddenly became about everything and nothing. We are both so angry and hurt over Jack but neither of us will even say his name." She explained as a few tears slid down her flush cheeks.

"Probably because any time someone says his name you start to cry." He reminded her gently he didn't want to upset her and end up the recipient of her next shouting fit but clearly she needed to talk about it.

"Yes and Brian just sits there all quite cause he thinks he did something wrong and I can't bring myself to even talk about it, to help him. And Gerry has been no help he just stalks around like an angry bear. The only time we are even remotely civil is while working on the case but none of us can focus on it except Steve." She cried to him, things at work were out of control and she had no idea what to do about it for the first time in her career.

"Maybe you and Gerry should take some time off?" he offered.

"And do what? Sit around the house thinking? What good is that going to do?" she snapped at him.

"Okay listen to me" he said to her taking her hands in his. "Tomorrow after work you three are going to go to the pub and you are going to talk about Jack. He may not have had a funeral but that doesn't mean you three can't have a drink in his honor and remember him." He didn't suggest it he all but ordered her to do it. The three of them clearly needed to find a way to grieve together instead of fighting each other.

"I don't know if Gerry will come" she moaned, not to his suggestion but at the thought that Gerry would refuse to go with her.

"Ask him I bet he surprises you." He knew Gerry could be unreasonable at time but he didn't think the man would actually say no to this request he was a decent guy after all. And if he did refuse Strickland would have a private conversation with the older man until he changed his mind.

"I don't know," she sighed she wasn't sure of much of anything at that moment.

"Sandra you need to do something and I think this will help," he told her taking a slightly different approach to convince her he was right.

"I guess" she agreed halfheartedly.

"Go give Gerry a call see what he thinks," he suggested.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to ask," she agreed a bit more willingly.

"I really do think it will make you feel better," he said giving her a kiss.

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He had been right the three of them had felt a bit better after their trip to the pub, Sandra, Gerry and Brian had sat there for hours drinking to the man they all loved and missed. They laughed and cried and shared stories till the night grew late. She was tired but happier where she got home. For the first night in days she relaxed in his arms and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Saturday was a beautiful day and Rufus had begged to go out and kick the football around. Strickland gladly agreed and he figured a picnic lunch would be a great way for them all to spend the afternoon. While Sandra had been feeling to be a bit better after her evening out with the boys she was still rather quiet and withdrawn. She responded in all the correct ways as Roo and Mione told her about their week but he could tell the sparkle in her eyes was still gone. He had been hoping some quality time with the kids would help as it had when Jack had left, but not even the rambunctious duo could cheer her up.

"Dad is Sandra alright she's been really quite all day?" Hermione asked as the three of them kicked the ball around the open grassy area. He looked over at the woman in question, she was sitting on the picnic blanket enjoying her wine and staring off into space.

"Yeah she's just a little sad right now" he reassured his daughter. Hermione was fairly sensitive to the emotions of those around her and he didn't want her to worry about Sandra.

"Why?" Hermione asked concerned. He should have known his child would not be satisfied with such a simple answer.

"Well you remember Jack, one of the guys Sandra works with?" He asked deciding it was better to tell her the truth if not she would just keep asking him.

"Yeah you said he went away to France a couple months ago" she answered him.

"He died a few weeks ago and Sandra just found out this past Monday." He explained hoping Sandra would not be upset with him for sharing this information with the teen.

"I really liked him he was nice" Hermione replied solemnly.

"I know he was" he agreed with a smile. "Sandra has known him for a long time so she has been really sad these past few days," He explained a little further.

"Is there anything we can do to make her feel better?" she asked hopefully.

"Not really it just takes time to get over losing someone like that." He told her sadly and his daughter's face fell when he told her.

"Oh" she replied softly, she didn't like seeming Sandra upset and wanted to do something to make her happy again.

"Don't worry it may take a little while but she'll be okay." He reassured her once more with a smile.

"Good, I'm a little thirsty I'm gonna take a break is that okay?" She asked and it was true she was thirsty but that was not her only reason for taking a rest.

"Of course" he answered and she headed back to the blanket as the other two continued to play with the football. Strickland had a feeling there was more to her decision to take a break but he didn't press the girl.

"Hi" Hermione said as she caught her breath she had run back to the blanket that lying under the tree.

"Hey, what's up?" Sandra asked focusing on the girl who now stood in front of her.

"I'm thirsty and a little worn out so I thought I would take a break. Can I sit with you?" She inquired trying to sound casual.

"Of course you can" Sandra replied with a weak smile, she handed the girl a bottle of water as she sat down next to her. They were both quite for a while as Hermione drank her water.

"Ah…dad told me about Jack, I'm really sorry he was a really nice guy, I liked him." Hermione said with some uncertainty. She wanted to talk to Sandra about the man but she wasn't sure the right way to bring it up. She didn't want to upset the woman when her whole goal was the exact opposite.

"He was a really great man, I miss him" Sandra replied softly.

"Dad said you knew him for a long time?" She asked hoping she wasn't pushing too much.

"Yes he gave me my spot on the murder squad over fifteen years ago, he made me the police officer I am today. That's why he was the first one I asked to join UCOS, actually he helped me set the whole things up and he insisted I choice Gerry and Brian to join us." She informed the teen fondly thinking back to those early days nearly ten years earlier.

"That's pretty awesome," Hermione answered a big smile spreading over her face.

"Yeah I guess it is" Sandra agreed she couldn't help but smile a little was well.

"I can leave you alone if you want but if you don't mind I'd like to you keep you company." Mione offered, she didn't want to be annoying but she really felt like Sandra could use someone with her.

"I wouldn't mind the company." She said smiling at the girl.

"That's good cause it gets kind of boring kicking that ball around," the girl sighed.

"What do you say we go for a walk?" Sandra suggested she was tired of sitting and the day was very nice.

"That sounds like a lot more fun." Mione answered with another big smile.

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"Where did you and Hermione disappear to this afternoon?" Strickland asked that night as they were making dinner.

"We just went for a walk, though I'm glad we got back when we did I thought you were going to have a heart attack, you do know you are not as young as you once were you can't keep up with a ten year old anymore." She reminded him, the last thing she wanted was for him to keel over because he tried to keep up with his energetic children.

"I am coming to that realization I think I pulled something in my back" he winced stretching a little.

"I'm not surprised at all," she laughed as she tried to massage it for him.

"I now remember why I had two children, so they would play with each other and leave me alone." He moaned, he had no idea what he was thinking when he dove after the football earlier. Luckily Sandra had been gone at that point and he had chosen not to tell her, if she knew she would never let him hear the end of it.

"I don't think that is going to work out so well for you, Hermione gets bored kicking the ball around, or so she says." She said informing him of his daughter's thoughts.

"She has never been that interested in sports," he conceded.

"And I'm sure all these years having to play with her brother has only made her dislike them more." She added with a laugh.

"So how are you doing?" He asked changing the subject as he pulled her into his arm, once there she rested he head against his chest.

"A little better I think" she replied softly.

"I have seen you smile today, I haven't seen that smile in days, and it's nice."

"I'm trying" she sighed. She was well aware that she had not been the happiest person to be around this past week but she felt powerless to do anything about it.

"Hey, no, I didn't mean it like that; I just meant it was nice. This is going to take time; Jack meant a lot to you he was family. You don't just get over a loss like that; you have to give it time. And there will be good days and then something will remind of him and it will hurt all over again." He explained trying to reassure her that he understood what she was going through.

"I know it's just like when I lost my dad," she whispered.

"In many ways Jack was like a father figure to you, he was your mentor, you cared about him deeply. Just give it some time" he told her once more. She was expecting too much too soon she needed time to grieve.

"Thank you for being so understanding" she whispered. She knew he was right she wanted nothing more than to see Jack again and it would take a while to deal with this. She was happy Strickland was around to help her through this she didn't think she could do it on her own. He held her tighter giving the top of her head a kiss.

"I will always be here for you and I will always try to be understanding." He said pulling back slightly to kiss her lips. He was prevented from saying anything further as Rufus came running in to the kitchen.

"Sandra will you come play a video game with me?" he cried excitedly.

"Sure I would love to." She answered smiling at the boy.

"What I'm not good enough?" Strickland cried to his son as he let Sandra out of his arms.

"She's better at losing than you are." He shouted as the two of them headed for the living room.

"I know for a fact she isn't" he called after them laughing.

"Its gross when you two kiss" he heard his son yell back and Sandra laughed at the boys attempt to insult his father.

He peered around the corner to watch as Sandra and Rufus began playing the game, he couldn't help but think how amazing his kids truly were. Both children had gotten her to smile today something he hadn't managed to do all week. He knew it would take her a while, to deal with Jack's death but he was sure that with his help along with Gerry, Brian, Hermione, and Rufus she would be able to get past this. And one day she would be able to think about Jack, remember all the good times they had and not cry.

A/N This is the last stand alone chapter the rest will follow the episodes concluding with The Little Brother. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	51. Part of a Whole

Part of a Whole

"So that's why you insisted on staying at your place for the last few days and why you have barely answered my calls and texts." Sandra said quietly, there was a hint of anger in her voice and in the way she squared her jaw when she looked at him. Brian had gone to sit in the car once Gerry and Steve left. She knew he was giving the two of them a few moments alone and for that she was thankful. She was far from happy about the whole situations and above all his lack of communications. She had to work hard to control her anger when he told her that Fisher was once again responsible for the upheaval.

"Yes I'm sorry." He replied and she moved to step closer to him. "No" he panicked taking a step back away from her.

"I know, I read your last text." She sighed she had received it early that morning, it told her to meet him here with her team and there was to be absolutely no person displays of affection.

"I need you to listen to me and not argue. Please this is serious." He told her firmly, she had a habit of doing the exact opposite of his wishes sometimes and he needed her to follow his instructions.

"Okay" she agreed nodding her head.

"You don't go anywhere alone, stay in the UCOS office as much as possible. You send them out. And you don't go home until I tell you it's safe." He pleaded with her; she needed to follow his instruction this time.

"Robert you're scaring me a little." She responded taking a shaky breath. Her anger had suddenly abated as fear took over. She was now very afraid that he wouldn't come back to her.

"Good" he countered firmly much to her surprise. She had expected him to dispel her fears but he seemed to be trying to scare her.

The situation was serious and he wasn't sure exactly how serious. So far no one's family had been targeted but Strickland didn't know how long that would last and he was not about to risk her life. She was much safer if she was afraid of what could happen to either of them.

"What are you going to do?" she asked him once more, but this time she was more worried.

"I'm going to find them just like I said." He told her, his expression remained neutral he may have wanted her scared enough to look out for herself but he wasn't about to let her know how concerned he was.

"And one of them may be trying to kill you" she reminded him.

"Yes I know" he nodded.

"Don't you dare die" she replied fiercely fighting the tears that threatened her.

"I promise," he said. His desire to take her hand and reassure her almost over took him.

"Don't make promises you can't keep" she replied softly.

"I promise" he replied firmly.

"Well at least I now know where you met Fisher" she sighed changing the subject while she tried to keep the tears at bay. Now was not the time for fears and tears.

"Yes no point keeping it a secret anymore not after the type of danger I may be putting you all in." He admitted, they had tried to kill Fisher once they would surely try again and they might succeed.

"You're the one in danger" she reminded him. She would be safe at UCOS he would be out there doing god knows what.

"Just remember what I said don't go home and don't go anywhere alone, please just humor me." He begged her once more.

"Fine, I really want to kiss you but instead I am going back to the office with Brian, because if I say any longer I don't know if I can control what I do." She told him flatly trying to remain as detached as possible.

"Be careful," he whispered.

"No you be careful," she shot back at him before she got in the car and drove away.

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"I don't think I like your friends. I hate Stephen Fisher, all that man does is talk down to you and us and he puts you in danger. And one or was it two of your friends tried to kill you." She said gruffly as they sat on the sofa that night, she was on her third glass of wine and she still felt tense from the day's events.

"Yes well good thing I wasn't planning on introducing them to you" he commented he was never letting any of those people anywhere near her especially Fisher. He didn't trust any of them after the day's events.

"I would be hurt by that if they weren't so dangerous. And I thought a year ago when you disappeared with Fisher was bad, somehow this was a bit worse." Some of her anger from earlier had returned, she was furious at Fisher for what he had done thirty years ago getting Strickland involved in this whole mess. He had been nothing but a destructive force in their relationship and she sincerely hoped she never saw the man again.

"I am so sorry." He said for about the hundredth time.

"Keep that man far away from me, I swear…"

"No worries there. He will be in hospital for a few days but I believe he has other things on his mind." He tried to assure her that they had seen the last of Fisher but he couldn't make her that promise. He fully intended to have a conversation with the man once he recovered from his injuries but that alone was no guaranty Fisher would stay out of their lives.

"That's good" she said lying back and sinking into the sofa.

"There is something I feel I should tell you, it doesn't really have much bearing on anything now but I still feel you should know about it after recent events." Now that his secret with Fisher was out he didn't want to keep any more secrets from her regarding this group of friend.

"Okay" she said unsure if she really wanted to know anything more about these people and their history.

"Sarah Metland" he said carefully.

"One of the people behind all this?" she asked unsure what he was trying to tell her.

"Yes, back when I was at Sandhurst she was dating Christopher," he began to explain.

"Her husband, the other one responsible this who should be in jail?" she questioned him.

"Yes" he sighed, he knew she was still less than please that they were letting the two of them get away with it. "Wel during that time she and I…" He didn't know how to say if after all these years.

"You two had an affair?" she offered.

"Yes, thank you," he exhaled all his nervous energy in relief that he had told her.

"Is that supposed to upset me or something beyond the fact that the bitch tried to have you killed?" She asked slightly confused it was hardly big news after the day's events.

"I just thought you should know. No secrets now that everything is out in the open. I told you a while ago I would surprise you." He admitted to her making it clear that he was done keeping things from her.

"A fling with another mate's girl back in school is hardly surprising. I thought that happened to most people." She informed him with a hollow laugh she certainly had slept with a good friend's boyfriend.

"I suppose it isn't much of a surprise," he replied thinking about it.

"Robert I need to ask" she said began serious.

"Of course anything" he promised and he meant it, he would answer whatever question she had.

"Will Stephen Fisher keep popping up in our lives? This is the fourth time and each time it has gotten progressively worse. I may have thought you were in danger when you disappeared with him. But this time people really were trying to kill you. I don't know if I can deal with this." She cried trying to stop the tears that threatened to fill her eyes she would not let Fisher made her cry anymore. She took a sip of her wine trying to clear the lump in her throat.

"I wouldn't mind if I never saw Fisher, Jane, Hitch, Sarah or Chris ever again." He answered honestly letting out an exhausted sigh as he pulled her closer. He felt terrible for everything he had put her through.

"I can't live in a world where I don't know if you're safe while people are trying to kill you. I can't deal with Fisher taking you away without any warning or explanation again. I can't do this spy shit. I can deal with normal police chaos but not the intelligence service and their bullshit." She angrily wiped a tear off her cheek, clearly the wine was getting to her and she put it down on the end table. She set it down harder than she meant to and it clanged.

"I only ever did that one job with Fisher, I got myself kicked out of Sandhurst six months later. I unlike the others stayed away from all that. I didn't choose that life and I am not part of that world." He tried to assure her as he took her hand in his. "Nothing like this should ever happen again." He promised her and he meant it this was not his life he would make sure his family was never threatened like this again.

"It better not, you are not allowed to die do you hear me" she lectured him. "Hell I promised your daughter nothing would ever happen to you I told her I wouldn't let it. Don't you dare make a liar out of me or so help me you better be dead because if you're not I will kill you. Do you understand me?" She cried angrily at him as she wiped another unwanted tear away.

"Yes I do, never again" he vowed again.

"Clearly Fisher is going to be fine," she huffed changing the subject hoping her tears would go away.

"Yes he will live I don't want to know what he will try and do to Chris and Sarah" he wondered out loud.

"Not feeling very sympathetic for them. They should be in jail for murder." She growled at him, she still didn't like the thought of the two of them getting off on what should be a double murder charge not to mention at least two charges of attempted murder.

"They may soon wish they were. I know you wanted to arrest them and I'm sorry but this was the only way to end it all." He explained, she had been furious when he told her the deal he struck with the Metlands.

"And that is the only reason I am even willing to accept this," she told him still not happy.

"I am so sorry for putting you through all of this. I never meant to worry you and I never meant to put you in danger." He apologized to her for at least the tenth time.

"You really think they would have hurt me?" she asked him.

"Yes I do, they were willing to kill all of us because we might have seen what was on that paper, if you got in the middle I have no doubt they wouldn't have thought twice about hurting you." He informed her, he thought about holding back and not letting her knowhow dangerous things could have been but he couldn't lie to her.

"Well then it is a very good thing you aren't introducing me to these people I would have a thing or two to say to them." She growled once more at the thought of how much upheaval they had caused in only a few days.

"I may have already threatened them," he told her hesitantly.

"You what?" she cried not warming to the ides.

"They were rather reluctant to hand Carl Dillon over to us so I threatened to expose what we all did thirty years ago- all of it." He informed her still concerned about her reaction.

"I would imagine there would have been repercussion if you did that," she replied as calmly as she could.

"Yes if they didn't try and kill me again I would have had a lot me time to spend with Hermione and Rufus." He joked thought they both knew there was more truth to that statement than either of them wanted to admit.

"Would you have done it?" she questioned him.

"Yes I would have" he nodded. His tone was resolute even though he knew she wasn't exactly pleased with him.

"I'm glad it didn't come to that. I would hate for you to get fired or killed, you ass" she exclaimed angrily at him.

"I know it was a big risk but you have to know your safety was paramount in my mind, if that helps at all." He informed her hoping to pacify her.

"No not really because it was your safety that was a concern" she snapped swatting his arm slightly out of frustration.

"I know, thank you for everything you and the guys did." He really did appreciate everything they had done to help him.

"Never again do you hear me" she warned him.

"Never again I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise" he repeated smiling at her.

"Good now let's go to bed it has been a long day, and if I hadn't been so worried about you I would be tempted to make you sleep on the sofa for putting me through that." She threatened as she stretched.

"Thank you for not, I haven't exactly slept well these past few days at my place. I really can't sleep without you by my side." He told her pulling her close.

"I know the feeling, come on it sounds like we could both use some sleep." She stood up and help out her had. He gladly accepted it and together they climbed the stairs.

A/N I know Sandra would have been pretty mad at Strickland but I didn't want them fighting over something that happened at work again, at least not in this chapter. Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	52. Glasgow UCOS

Glasgow UCOS

"Hear anything from Steve and Gerry today?" Strickland asked as they enjoyed an after dinner cuddle on the sofa.

"No, I still can't believe you thought it would be a good idea to send the two of them up there together to start a UCOS in Glasgow." Sandra laughed as she took a sip of her wine.

"Hey you agreed and it wasn't like I was going to send you up there. A whole week without you" he scoffed, he couldn't even imagine sending her away for a week.

"What if I wanted to go?" she asked him making a face.

"Did you?" he had assumed she wouldn't want to go but now he was doubting that thought.

"Christ no, why do you think I agreed to let Steve and Gerry go," she exclaimed laughing once more.

"Ah I see, so you thought it was a bad idea but didn't bother to tell me" he huffed at her.

"It's not the worst idea you've ever had" she said trying to appease him.

"Oh thank you," he exclaimed it was his turn to show her some mock anger.

"You're welcome, plus you called me right as I was about to be called into court." She reminded him while ignoring his tone, this was not her fault he knew where she was when he called, she was hardly going to have a conversation about it then.

"Sorry but they called and wanted someone right away." He apologized sincerely, he would have waited if he had the option.

"Honestly Gerry and Steve will be fine, they will do a good job don't worry." She informed him leaning closer towards him. She really was not concerned at all about the two guys up north.

"I know…so about this weekend" he said changing the subject. There was very little either of them could do about Gerry and Steve right now and it was no reason to start an argument over it.

"Ah I've heard that before. Since we have Hermione and Rufus what plans do you have?" She asked knowing he had something up his sleeve.

"Rufus wants to go to a cricket match" he informed her.

"You three have fun with that I have no desire to sit through even one of those." She told him quickly there was no way he was dragging her to a game of cricket, with her luck it would go on forever.

"Hermione feels exactly the same way and she specifically asked if she could spend the day with you, just the two of you." He continued unsure how his partner would react to his daughter's request.

"Really?" Sandra was a bit surprised, sure the two had spent time alone together little bits here and there same with her and Rufus. But when the two children came to visit it was to spend time with their dad that was always the point. The three of them always seemed to have such little time together as it was. And neither child had ever asked to spend the day alone with her especially Hermione.

"Yeah, I told her yes I didn't think it would be a problem." He replied second guessing himself once more, maybe it was presumptuous of him to just assume Sandra would agree.

"No its fine of course it isn't a problem." She answered quickly reassuring him and it wasn't a problem exactly. The only issue was what to do with the teen.

"Good" he smiled with a nod, he thought it was a good idea that the two spend the day together, even after five years he still wanted to make sure his kids and Sandra got alone.

"Did Hermione say what she wanted to do?" Sandra asked hoping she wouldn't have to come up with an activity for them.

"No she said she didn't care as long as she got to spend the afternoon with you" he answered.

"Right, okay, I'm sure I can think of something." She tried not to show it but she was a bit nervous. Even after all this time she was still worried about her relationship with Hermione, she knew the girl liked her and they had always gotten along very well. Yet for some reason this felt different because Hermione has specifically requested a day alone with her and because of that Sandra wanted the day to be a good one. She didn't know how to do the mother daughter thing, the relationship she had with her mother had never been very good. She didn't know exactly what to do but she had to come up with something quick she only had two days.

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"What's wrong with Hermione?" Sandra asked once the kids were asleep. It was Friday night Sandra was concerned about his daughter she had been acting strangely all night.

"I have no idea, I've asked her several times and she said she was fine, in true female form. First boyfriends now mood swings," Strickland moaned.

"Excuse me?" she growled at him.

"I mean why does she have to grow up again? All I had to do before was come home and she had a smile on her face. Now I can't even get her to smile let alone tell me what's wrong." He countered quickly hoping she would let his comment about women slide this once.

"Did her mum say anything when you picked her up?" She continued letting his views of women go for the moment she was more interested in finding out what was wrong with the girl. She wanted to know what had caused the teen's change in moods, she still remembered her horrible teenage years and she knew all too well that there was always something behind these changes.

"Nope nothing and I didn't realize something was wrong till we got back here and I became aware of the fact that she hadn't said a word." He admitted feeling slightly guilty that it took him so long to notice that something was wrong with his own daughter.

"Did you ask Roo?" The boy had a knack for knowing everything that was going on and he was usually eager to share when it was about his sister.

"I tried but even he doesn't know, he says she came home from school like that today went straight to her room and didn't come out till I came to get them." He informed her, if Roo didn't know and Hermione wouldn't tell him then he had no idea how he was going to find out.

"She looks like she has been crying" Sandra observed thinking back on the night. The girl's eyes were red and she barely said two words through dinner or the film they watched together. She wouldn't even look them in the eye and she escaped to her room as soon as she could.

"I know but I have no idea what to do with her, she won't talk to me. Maybe she will talk to you tomorrow." He replied hopefully, grateful it was Sandra and not him that got to deal with her.

"Great more pressure on me, I'm already worried about tomorrow as it is" she sighed.

"Don't worry everything will be fine, as it is she isn't enjoying anything right now." He meant is as a joke trying to make her feel better.

"It's not funny" she hissed at him.

"No but I certainly don't know what to do with her" he admitted. The older Hermione got the more lost he felt, he had heard horror stories about teenagers he had just hoped it would skip his children.

"Well then tomorrow will certainly be interesting," she sighed once more feeling even more fearful of the following day.

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"So I thought we could go grab some lunch and then we could go get our nails done and then go shopping or something else." Sandra said to the teen once her father and brother had left for the game.

"Okay" Hermione replied flatly.

"Or we can do something else whatever you want to do." She tired hoping to engage the girl in even a small conversation, Hermione had barely said three words all morning.

"No that's fine" Mione replied her tone still lacked any feeling or emotion and Sandra was becoming both frustrated and worried.

"Hermione what's wrong?" she finally just asked, she couldn't take much more of the girl's sullen attitude.

The teenager didn't say anything she was silent at first and then suddenly to Sandra surprise she burst into tears.

"Hey…okay…okay here come sit down." Sandra said directing the girl over to the sofa. "Mione what's wrong please tell me?" She begged panicking for a moment she wanted to fix the problem but she had no idea what the problem was.

"It's Charlie he broke up with me" Hermione sobbed.

"Aw sweetie I'm sorry" she said taking the crying girl in her arms.

"He broke up with me yesterday morning and then by yesterday afternoon he was going out with Sadie. I thought she was my friend how could she do that to me?" she wailed.

"Boys can make friends do all sorts of things. I'm sorry I know you feel betrayed," Sandra sympathized.

"What's wrong with me why does he like her more than me?" the girl cried and it almost broke Sandra's heart.

"Oh Mione nothing is wrong with you, boys do stupid things they can be really thoughtless and dumb sometimes. But don't let a boy make you feel like there is something wrong with you. I know it hurts when you give a boy your heart and then he smashes it. There are going to be a lot of boys in your life and most of them will break your heart and a few you will break their hearts." She said trying to explain to the teen how relationships worked.

"Does it always hurt so much?" Hermione asked through her tears.

"Usually yes" Sandra told her honestly, she was not going to lie to the girl. And she knew in Hermione's mind this short relationship was very important and she wasn't about to treat is as something insignificant. This was Hermione's first real boyfriend and her first real break up it was a very important and painful event for the fourteen year old.

"Then why bother if it is just going to hurt?" she moaned and buried her face in Sandra's shoulder as she cried harder.

"Oh sweetheart because one day you will meet the right boy who you will want to spend the rest of your life with and he will make you feel special and wonderful and while he may make you cry he won't break your heart." She told the girl truthfully and she couldn't help but think about Robert Strickland when she said it.

"Is that how you feel about dad?" Mione asked acutely reading the older woman and she raised her head to look at Sandra when she said it.

"Yeah it is" Sandra replied with a smile.

"Buy why does it have to hurt so much? I just want to stop hurting." Hermione cried once more as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I know it takes time but there are things that can help." She told the teen thinking back to all the times her heart had been broken, it had been a very long and painful road that finally lead to the girl's father.

"Like what?" Hermione inquired wiping her tears away.

"Well first you do things that make you happy or feel pretty to remind yourself that you are better than the way he treated you and then a bit of mopping always helps." Sandra explained to the teen who seemed to be perking up with interest as she spoke which was a hopeful sign.

"How do I do that?" she asked still unsure.

"First things first lunch, something nice and tasty and then mani pedis and then I say we grab some ice cream go back to my place and watch a sappy film." Sandra suggested hoping her plan would entice the girl.

"That actually sounds like a really great idea" she smiled. And with that the two stood up and Sandra put her arm around the teen for comfort and support she could see Hermione needed it.

"Good you know what else helps?" she said as they headed for the door. "Destroy any pictures you have of him." She told the girl with a grin.

"Already deleted them off my phone" Hermione said firmly.

"That's my girl."

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"So are you feeling better?" Sandra asked Hermione several hours later as they sat eating ice cream on her sofa as they watched _While you were Sleeping_. Hermione had made her feel old when the girl called the movie a classic. The film was only seventeen years old that hardly made it a classic. Yet she let the comment go she would only prove how old she was if she tried to argue with the teen.

"Yes I am, thank you so much" Mione answered, truth be told they had had a wonderful afternoon.

"Hermione can I ask you something?"

"Yeah" she said spooning a large chunk of ice cream in her mouth and Sandra had to work hard not to laugh.

"Why did you want to spend the day with me? Not that I mind I love spending time with you I just would have thought you would have wanted to spend the time with your dad." She had been curious about it since Strickland had mentioned it a few days ago.

"I really didn't want to go to the cricket game it is so boring and sometimes especially when sports are involved it's kinda annoying being with Roo and dad they are…I don't know…" she didn't know exactly how to explain how she felt.

"I think the phrase you want is 'there is too much testosterone to be around them'." Sandra suggested with a laugh. She felt like that working with her guys everyday though she still wouldn't trade them for the world.

"Yes that's it. And I never really get to spend time alone with you so I asked."

"Well I hope your day was better than a cricket match." Sandra replied holding her breath, she hadn't realized how important it was to her that Hermione had a good time with her.

"It was" she said with a huge smile as wiggled her freshly painted toes. "Can I ask you something?" she asked after a moment.

"Turn about is only fair" Sandra agreed with a smile. "Of course you can I told you, you can ask me anything." She reminded the girl giving her a reassuring look, she didn't want the teen to be nervous about asking her things.

"You and dad live here most of the time don't you? It's just I can see his stuff all over the place here, films, magazines, books, and other stuff. But there isn't really any of your stuff over at dad's house and there isn't even much of his stuff left there either. There is just mine and Roo's stuff." Sandra could tell Hermione was nervous because her word came out fast and it took her a minute to keep up.

"Ah, yeah I guess we do live here" she admitted to the teen.

"But then why does dad still have his place and why do we stay there when we come to visit if you guys live here?" Mione asked confused.

"It is a little complicated there are some issues with work." She answered carefully they had never really told either child about work, it just never seemed to come up until now.

"My dad's your boss isn't he?" the girl correctly guessed, though it wasn't much of a guess.

"Yeah he is how did you figure that out?" Sandra inquired.

"When Rufus broke his arm and I was with Gerry, Jack, and Brian they kept calling my dad sir or by his last name, it was just little things they said." The girl explained it had been weird to have them call her dad 'Strickland' but she found it kind of funny as well.

"I'm sorry we never said anything." Sandra apologized mentally kicking herself, she and Strickland should have explained the situation to his children it was wrong to keep them in the dark.

"No it's okay but does that mean you and dad are a secret." She didn't care about what her dad and Sandra told the people at work but she did worry a little at the idea and she wasn't exactly sure why.

"At work yes we are." Sandra told her, she immediately felt bad about it. She didn't want Hermione to think they were ashamed of their relationship.

"Will you get in trouble if someone finds out?" Mione asked concerned she didn't want them to get in trouble and she didn't want work to make them break up.

"No they just wouldn't let us work together anymore" she reassured the girl giving her hand a squeeze. "And if that happens then we will work it out there is nothing to worry about." She told the girl being kind but firm so the teen would trust her.

"Okay… that good…So that's why dad still has his place?" she asked putting two and two together.

"Yes but more importantly your dad wanted to keep things familiar for you and your bother." Sandra told her, early on Strickland feared it would confuse them if they kept switching houses.

"Is all that work stuff the reason why you two haven't gotten married?" Hermione had started to wonder why the two didn't just get married they clearly loved each other and they acted as though were already married.

"Yes" Sandra admitted there was no reason not to answer honestly now.

"Do you think you ever will one day?"

"Maybe" Sandra didn't want to make the girl a promise she might not end up keeping. Strickland continued to ask every so often but she didn't see any reason why they needed to get married. The life they had was perfect and no piece of paper was going to change that and it wasn't going to make it any more likely that they would stay together.

"I wouldn't mind if you did, I think it would actually be brilliant if you did." Hermione told her with a grin it was her way of giving them permission to get married.

"I'm glad," Sandra smiled back. She really was happy she did worry the teen might have objected one day.

"And thank you for this afternoon I feel better, it still hurts just not as much." The teen thanked her she really was starting to feel better about Charlie, it helped to share how she felt.

"It will get better I promise" she reassured her once more.

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"Hermione seemed a lot happier after your afternoon together." Strickland observed later that night as they relaxed in bed.

"Yeah I think she is doing better." Sandra nodded thinking back over the day, the girl seemed to brighten up over the course of the day.

"So what was the problem?" he asked clearly desperate to know.

"Boys, her boyfriend dumped her for one of her friends. She has her first broken heart" She informed him simply.

"I knew he would hurt her. Should I say something to her?" He sighed the concern for his little girl was obvious.

"No if she wanted you to do or say something she would have told you." Sandra reminded him his daughter wasn't so little anymore, and the last thing she would want is her dad talking to her about her boyfriends.

"Oh... so I shouldn't mention it at all?" he asked unhappily.

"Not unless you want a mood swing on your hands." She warned him with a wicked smile letting him know she hadn't forgotten about his comment a few days before.

"Nope I'm good" he replied quickly he didn't want to risk Sandra's wrath or that of his daughter's

"Just out of curiosity what would you have said to her?"

"I …ah…I would have told her that boys are stupid immature arseholes who aren't worth crying over." He answered thinking about it for a second.

"I don't think that would have helped much coming from you," she replied.

"Yeah I can see that," he sighed he was a guy after all.

"She will be find we had ice cream and watched a film" she reassured him.

"I will never understand how ice cream helps a woman over a guy." He told her shaking his head

"I just does."

"Right" he said with a sigh no matter how long he lived he would never understand how a woman's brain worked sometimes.

"There are a few other points we should talk about that came up this afternoon." She told him carefully.

"Is this going to be good or bad?" he asked concerned now.

"It isn't bad exactly but it did make me feel a little neglectful" she admitted to him.

"Well now I am concerned and confused."

"Hermione asked me why you still kept this place when it was clear to her that we lived at my place." She began there was no way to tell him other than just to say it.

"Oh…what did you tell her?" he asked it hadn't occurred to him to talk to his children about his relationship beyond what happened in their home.

"What could I do I told her the truth she actually guessed most of it, she figure out you are my boss and I had to admit that as work our relationship is a secret and that's why you have your place and why we haven't gotten married."

"She asked about us getting married?"

"Yes she did she thinks it would be brilliant if we got married, her words not mine" she informed him.

"Really?" he replied happily.

"Yes and I feel like you need to talk to your children more often" she told him firmly.

"I think the past two day have proven that while I may want to talk and communicate with my children they don't always want to talk and share things with me." He pointed out to her in his defense, though he did feel bad for not talking to Hermione and Rufus about certain aspects of his relationship with Sandra. He made a mental note to talk to Roo about it and to follow up with Hermione just to be safe.

"True but I don't think that is a good excuse not to talk to your children" she countered.

"Yes you are right I will talk to them don't worry. I will make sure I talk to both of them about this and as usual you are correct we should have talked to them about this sooner." He agreed with her and he wanted her to know that he would actually do what he said.

"Thank you it would make me feel better" she replied with a sigh of relief.

"I was actually thinking of taking them out on the boat for a few hours tomorrow before they go back to their mums."

"Oh" was all she could say.

"Yeah thought you wouldn't mind a little time to yourself" he told her with a smile he knew she enjoy the time she got to spend relaxing on her own while he went out on the boat.

"You know I never minded having you or the kids around." She replied she usually did enjoy the time alone but for some strange reason today she suddenly felt left out. She wanted to be able to go out on the boat with the three of them she didn't want to stay home alone. The feeling was so strong it confused her, she had never felt this way before. She had been so mad at him the last time he had tried to take her out on the boat she swore never to set foot on the damn thing ever again. So why did she want to go with them and why did she suddenly hate the fact that she got sea sick?

"If you don't want us to go we can find something to do instead we could go just go to the park?" He suggested her smile had faded and she seemed to tense up when he started talking about going out on the boat with Hermione and Rufus. He didn't know exactly why but it felt to him that she was sad or unhappy.

"No why would I not want you guys to go out and have fun I have no problem entertaining myself while you three roam the high seas." She joked plastering on a giant smile in an attempt to convince him it was true.

"You sure? You seemed sad at the idea or something?"

"Just thinking about your boat makes my stomach turn" she countered hoping he would believe her and drop the issues.

"Sorry I didn't mean to make you queasy. Well if you're okay with it I'll take the kids out and then drop them off at Helen's and meet you back at home?" He asked and they both knew when he said home he meant her place.

"Of course that sounds good to me" she lied hoping once again he wouldn't notice. If he did notice she couldn't even give him a reason as to why the whole issue bothered her she was completely confused. All she knew was she didn't want to be left out of their fun.

"Good" he smiled at her failing to notice anything was amiss. "So Hermione said she thought it would be awesome if we got married?" he asked a goofy grin on his face.

"Robert let it go" she warned him lightly.

"Will you marry me?" he asked her once more.

"Not today" she answered with a yawn as she tried to banish all thought of his boat from her mind.

"Someday you will" he told her.

"Anything is possible…as long as you keep telling me I'm always correct." She replied her eyes were closed but it was her turn to wear a giant grin. He wisely chose to say nothing he did want to marry her one day and he was determined to do so.

A/N I wanted to throw in one more cute chapter with Strickland's kids before the end, hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and the reviews.


	53. The Rock Part 1

The Rock Part 1

"You're just going to leave now in the middle of this argument?" Strickland bellowed at her.

"I have a plane to catch, and if you were driving me to the airport we could continue this fight on the way, but since you're not…" Sandra growled back at him as she pulled the handle of her luggage up.

"You know I can't, I have a meeting and I will get more than one strange look if I tell them I have to drive you to the airport." He replied with a sigh, she knew all this but she as still being difficult.

"You don't have to do anything" she spat at him.

"I meant want to" he groaned he hadn't intended it to come out that way.

"Well then to answer your question yes I am leaving now, in the middle of our fight. I will call you when we get there and we can continue fighting then." She huffed at him looking at her watch once more.

"Great" he cried in frustration.

"I should be back in a few days and we can fight more then." She reminded him looking around for her coat.

"I don't want to fight" he replied gently.

"We neither do I but it just keeps happening now doesn't it." She was irritated with him and with Brian being suspended and having to leave for Gibraltar he only making her more upset.

"Yes it does" he signed loudly.

"I really have to go" she told him looking at her watch for the third time in two minutes she needed to be gone in the next five minutes to get to the airport on time.

"I love you" he said kissing her.

"I love you too. It's just a few days you go away all the time." She replied giving him a final kiss and a smile.

"Yes I go not you" he cried before he realized it was the wrong thing to say to her.

"How sexist of you" she growled, turning away from him. And with that she was out the door, slamming it on her way out.

He mentally kicked himself that was not the goodbye he was planning on. Lately for some unknown reason all they seemed to do was fight. He didn't know why but over the past few weeks something in their relationship had shifted and all the little parts that made up their secret world were now causing problems. The little lies they had told for years in order to keep their relationship a secret where now fuel for their arguments.

She didn't like being left at home when he went to dinners and parties. Even though they both knew she hated those events she suddenly didn't like the fact that she couldn't go. And he didn't like the fact that he couldn't come out to the pub with them very often without raising suspicions.

She found it tiresome for them to move their lives over to his place whenever they had the kids. She had the room at her place for all of them it would only take a little redecorating and moving around some furniture. She found it frustrating they had to keep two places when they only really lived in one. He was convinced it was easier that way and a change in address would only raise questions by the wrong people.

Then one day during a standoff with a suspect she had nearly been killed by a crazy gunman. The bullet grazed her shoulder requiring a few stitches nothing more. Yet it was then he realized that even though as her boss he could be her emergency contact, he couldn't make any big medical decisions, very few people knew he was her partner and if he couldn't convince the doctors that he was in truly her partner they would insist on calling her mum for consent to any medical treatment. He knew what Sandra would want a lot better than her mum did. Grace Pullman didn't even know about their relationship. A fact which had only resulted in more arguments. And it had continued to provide ammunition for future arguments. His kids and ex and most of his family knew about her but her mum had no idea about him.

They had their share of fights over the years and he had spent many nights of the sofa, but their fights had never been like this. They had never fought for these silly reasons and they had never fought this often. They were fighting almost every day, never at work they always waited till they got home. Once home they let their feeling out at each other.

They had spent so many years perfecting the art of hiding their relationship these little issues had never seemed to matter, it was what they had to do to keep the lives they wanted. He didn't know what had changed and he didn't know when it happened but whatever the cause it was now creating massive problems in their once orderly lives.

This latest fight started with his inability to drive her to the airport but that was only the catalyst. They proceeded to fight over their ever growing list of injuries caused by the other. It wasn't as if he was refusing to take her to the airport, he just couldn't because he had a meeting. He couldn't control the meeting and he didn't have a plausible excuse to get out of it. He wanted nothing more than to take her to the airport and every function he ever had to go to. He wanted to do everything with her, he was the one who wanted to marry her, she was the one who kept saying no.

He made the mistake of bringing up the fact that she wouldn't marry him during one of their agreements. Sandra was furious, she proceeded to yell at him as loudly as she could, reminding him that she had never told him no. She loved the life they had- both personally and professionally- and while she wanted to marry him. getting married would mess everything up and that was the reason they couldn't get married. She thought he understood and felt the same way. He did understand, he had only been trying to explain to her that he wasn't the reason for all this. They had both agreed long go to give the appearance of separate lives and that was why he was so confused. They often seemed to be trying to explain to each other why things were the way they were but neither ever seemed to be happy or satisfied with these explanations.

He had never hidden the fact that he wanted everyone to know that at least emotionally she belonged to him and he to her. He had seen the way guys looked at her, but her had tried very hard over the years to not get jealous or let her know it upset him. Yet that didn't stop him from foolishly bringing it up during another one of their many fights. It was as if all the things that had bothered them over the years were now ammunition to sling at one another.

He sighed trying to shake the thoughts out of his head as he headed back to the office, he had a meeting in twenty minutes, the meeting that caused their latest fight. Yet he couldn't help but worry. He worried the fighting would never end and he worried about the stupid things he would stay to her during fight that he never really meant. But most of all he worried that something was wrong between them and there wasn't a way to fix it. He didn't want to lose her but he couldn't find the right words to keep her.

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Strickland was still at the office when his phone rang at half past eight that night.

"Hi" he greeted Sandra on the other end of the phone line.

"Hello, are you still at work?" she asked. She always seemed to know when he was at work when he should have been home, it was a sixth sense with her.

"I might be" he replied being intentionally vague with her, though he knew she would simply take it as an admission.

"Why?" she asked knowing he didn't have an actual reason for being there.

"Because I have no desire to go home to an empty house and I have work to do." He whinged to her.

"Please tell me you at least ate dinner?" she inquired hopefully though deep down she expected him to answer in the negative.

"Yes I have" he lied looking at his half eaten sandwich still left over from lunch.

"You're lying" she replied flatly.

"I wasn't hungry" he tried to argue.

"Robert" she scolded.

"I forgot, okay clearly without you here yelling at me to eat I don't eat" he huffed at her.

"I didn't think I yelled at you to eat" she replied softly hurt by his statement.

"You don't, I didn't mean that, usually it is a text or take away waiting for me when I get home and I appreciate that you do it." He mentally kicked himself, he was trying not to upset her after their goodbye had gone so badly and instead he flat out insulted her.

"Robert I know you know how to order food I have seen you do it" she reminded her tone making it clear she was not over his comment yet.

"I really am not that hungry. I don't like eating without you." He told her though it came out as more a whine than the compliment he intended it to be.

"That's sweet but I'm going to be gone for a few days please tell me you don't plan on starving yourself till I get back."

"If I thought you would come home sooner I would" he threatened childishly.

"It is only for a few days. Would you care to explain to me why it's okay for you to go away for much longer than this or even disappear for days with Fisher without word? But you get to be all upset when I go away?" She asked him curious as to why he had a double standard regarding this issue. "I leave once and you turn into an abandoned puppy" she added trying to make her point.

"Clearly I don't handling being without you as well as you do without me." He argued, he had no good reason and that was the best he could come up with in the few seconds she was giving him.

"So what are you saying you are more attached to me than I am to you?" She shot back her tone becoming angry and defensive.

"Of course not" he sighed taking a deep breath before he continued to try and explain his poor word choice once more. "I only meant that you handle being alone better than I do." He told her trying to fix the stupid thing he said, lately he always seemed to say the wrong thing. Even when he tried to compliment her she ended up taking it as an insult.

"You think I prefer to be alone?" she growled at him once more. The more he spoke the more convinced she became, he clearly thought he was more emotionally involved in this relationship than she was and the idea had her blood beginning to boil. She hated sitting in this hotel room without him but he clearly didn't see that. She hated all the times he went away on work and left her alone and yet he thought she enjoyed it. Sandra couldn't understand why he would think that.

"Of course I don't, though you don't seem to mind it very much." He argued back at her becoming agitated as well. She was accusing him of something he wasn't guilty of and she was putting words in his mouth. She barely batted an eye when he told her he had to go away for a work conference. It was hardly fair for her to get mad at him when he was simply pointing out the way things were.

"Just because I have learned to accept it doesn't mean I like it" she yelled at him. How dare he try and claim that because she no longer put up a fight that she didn't care. She cared very much but she also knew a losing battle when she saw one. She knew it was not his choice to travel for work and she didn't want to make the situation any worse than it already was.

"Sometimes I'm not sure, sometimes it seems like you are happy to have me gone." He countered he had refrained from raising his voice but he was far from happy. It was not his imagination she did seem happier when he left her alone.

"I know how to deal with being alone it is a fact of life that you need to travel for work what good does it do either of us to fight about it. What exactly would you-" She was on a roll but he cut her off.

"You seem quite happy when I go out on the boat."

"Happy I'm not throwing up" she fired back. She was furious at him for bring up the damn boat. It was hardly her fault that she got sick after spending more than twenty minutes on it. How could he think she was happy to see him go off without her? She felt exactly the opposite when he left her to go out on the boat.

"You never ask me not to go" he pointed out. If she asked he would stay but she never did.

"I thought I was being a good partner letting you do these things instead of nagging you and keeping you from doing the things you love. Sorry I was so considerate next time I won't be." She huffed she had tried so hard to not be one of those women who complained whenever their partner wanted to do something alone or with friends. She didn't want him to resent her for it and here he was throwing her attempts to be nice right back in her face.

"You never object when I want to go out on the boat or golfing."

"You seem to be having a case of selective memory loss today because I have complained quite a bit about you golfing in fact I remember a few weeks ago I got quite upset at you for that very thing and you said the exact opposite. So listen to me Robert Strickland-a girl likes a little 'me' time every once in a while but hours not days got it." She informed him sternly getting her temper under control. She was hundreds of miles away without him and this was not how she wanted to spend the little time they had to talk.

"Yes I get it I'm sorry okay" he said softly.

"Look I don't want to fight anymore today okay" she signed exhausted from the flight and fighting with him.

"I don't want to fight ever" he moaned.

"I highly doubt that's going to happen." She said with a hollow laugh she wished they could find a way to stop all the fighting.

"How was the flight?" he asked her finally bringing the conversation back to what he really wanted to know.

"It was fine Gerry spent half the trip rattling off guide book information, I was rather close to killing him." She whinged she was tempted to find that book and throw it in the water. She should have stolen it earlier and threw it off the giant cliff.

"Oh I don't know Gerry the tour guide sounds highly entertaining." Strickland couldn't help but laugh at the image of Gerry playing tour guide.

"The two of them think we are on holiday" she added exasperated.

"Please tell me you are not surprised?" he asked with another laugh.

"No but I already gave them a bollocking and told them no messing around. I also told them they couldn't spend the night at the hotel bar and they aren't supposed to go out." She told him firmly.

"Are you expecting them to suddenly listen to you?" He inquired genuinely curious if she was that delusional after her flight.

"It could happen" she responded hopefully.

"Yes true anything could happen" he was trying very hard not to laugh but he was failing.

"Oh of course they aren't going to listen why can't you just let me keep my delusions" she moaned.

"Sorry. And how are the locals?"

"If by that you mean Detective Cruz he is…dedicated to his job." That was the nicest way she could express her opinion of the man.

"What exactly does that mean?" He asked knowing there was something she didn't want to tell him.

"We just have different ways of doing things I don't think he approves of our methods and Gerry really doesn't like him very much. Which I guess works out well because Cruz doesn't exactly like him either." She informed him still trying to be diplomatic but she too really didn't like the man.

"Well it is good to know you are playing nice with the locals" replied sarcastically.

"Yes well I hope we can clear this murder up quickly for many reasons."

"On that we can both agree. I miss you."

"I miss you too this bed feels really big with just me in it." She complained looking at the king size bed she was currently lying on.

"Just don't go looking for someone to fill the emptiness" he warned her playfully.

"No worries there" she promised.

"So what are you going to do with the rest of your night?" he asked curious.

"Did you miss the part where I said no going out?" she exclaimed.

"I did wasn't sure if you were going to listen to yourself" he told her seriously.

"Okay you need to go eat something because you have stopped making sense" she sighed.

"You didn't answer my question" he pushed.

"Well if you had been at home and had eaten as I expected, my plans were to spend a good portion of the night on the phone with you. But I guess now I will just have to find something on the telly" she complained.

"I suppose there are some conversations best not to have at work" he added.

"I love you very much Robert but we have never had much luck with phone sex. No I meant because you need to go home and eat and you shouldn't be on your mobile while you drive." She explained to him she wasn't surprised his brain went to sex but it was defiantly not the time or the place.

"Oh… then why don't you find something to watch and I will grab dinner and head home. I will call you when I get there." He suggested he liked the idea of spending the night on the phone with her.

"What about your work?" she teased him.

"It can wait" he replied firmly.

"Then that sounds like a pretty good idea as long as you actually stop and get something to eat." She reprimanded him lightly.

"I said I would didn't I?" he countered.

"Yes you did but I can just see you deciding you don't really need to eat and just rush home."

"If I did it would be because I want to talk to you sooner."

"And while I love the sentiment I need to know you are taking care of yourself, please promise me you will get something to eat. I will be here when you get home I'm not going anywhere." She reminded him she was determined she was going to get him to eat.

"I will I promise, I will talk to you all night till you fall asleep" he promised her. He missed her more than he thought possible and he also couldn't help but feel guilty for all the times he had gone away on work and left her alone.

"You better make the conversation interesting or it could be a very short conversation." She said playfully laughing.

"Oh it will be" he reassured her.

"We will see. Now go home and get food on the way." She ordered him she really was concerned that he wouldn't take care of himself while she was gone.

"Fine…I love you."

"I love you too."

A/N The only thing I can add is that you will need to read part 2 to see were things go, and then read the final two chapters to see how they get to happily ever. Thank you for reading and for the lovely reviews.


	54. The Rock Part 2

The Rock Part 2

"Okay now that you are done with the case and you are finally back home can we talk about how I am not happy that Brian showed up in Gibraltar." Strickland asked her sitting down on the sofa next to her. Sandra had barely been home an hour and he expected her to refuse his request. He didn't want to fight but he knew until they cleared the air they would not be able to relax. Yet all he received from her was silence, she was not even looking at him she was staring out the garden windows. "Sandra?" he called trying to get her attention confused and concerned about her.

"I got on a very large yacht and had lunch with a man who turned out to be our murder." She blurted out. She had felt guilty about it since it happened. She didn't think he would be too concerned about the fact that they guy was a murder. He wouldn't like it but he would be willing to accept it, they had fought about that issue too many times already. It was the boat she feared would be a problem, she had made a point of refusing to get on any boat with him. And here she was getting on a boat with a guy who was clearly flirting with her.

She couldn't help but feel like she betrayed him in some way when she stepped out on the yacht. It had caused her to hesitate before Truman had to prompt her and she wasn't really thinking when he asked if she got sea sick. She had hoped she wouldn't get sick because the boat was a lot bigger than Strickland's- a fact which made her feel worse.

"At the time he was a suspect and he invited me out to lunch. I thought I could get more answers out of him by playing nice. I didn't know his idea of lunch was on his boat I'm sorry." The last words were out of her mouth without thinking. Her mind balked at those words, she shouldn't have to be sorry it was a murder investigation and she did what she had to do. She didn't need to be sorry, but she was sorry she felt like she had cheated on him in some way because she got on another man's boat. And these feeling confused her more than a little.

"Ah... okay" he said the whole turn in conversation had taken him by surprise. Her tone and demeanor confused him as well and he was taken aback for a moment. She sounded upset as if she had done something wrong and she expected him to be mad at her. While he didn't like the idea of her on a boat with a murder it was her job and he promised not to over react. He didn't understand what she was sorry about.

"Did you get sick?" he finally asked unsure of what else to say.

"No…it was quite a big boat and I was only on board for about forty five minutes before Cruiz crashed the party with his police boat sirens and all." She informed him remembering the intrusion.

"I should send him a thank you note for that" he replied with a grin.

"Don't you dare" she cried.

"Well I'm glad you didn't get murdered while on the boat." He added not sure what else he was supposed to say or what she expected him to say.

"Please he fed me and gave me wine, though he had killed a man the night before. But I hardly knew that then." She told him yet the more she talked the more she realized she wasn't really making the events sound any better.

"Sandra you are making it sound worse and worse" he reminded her though he still had the smile on his face, he knew she wasn't in much danger.

"I was fine, he wanted to sleep with me not kill me. Not that I was about to let that happen. He didn't see a ring and just assumed I was his for the taking, big mistake." She said firmly a rather evil look crossed her face when she thought of the man.

"I am sure he will be thinking about that while he spends the rest of his life in jail."

"Damn straight he will" she agreed crossing her arms across her chest.

"Sandra I love you and know you can take care of yourself so what exactly are you apologizing for?" He asked her finally as she wasn't giving him very much information.

"For getting on another man's boat" she huffed as though it was the most oblivious thing in the world.

"During the course of an investigation, though I think it was for a lunch date."

"He may have thought that."

"But you didn't know he planned on taking you on a boat did you? So why would I be upset over this?" He asked her, she was only confusing him more and more.

"I refuse to get on your boat or any other boat with you," she sighed trying to explain to him what she was thinking and feeling.

"Yeah but it wasn't like you begged the guy to take you on his yacht. Did you?" he questioned.

"No, I would never do that" she told him emphatically.

"Then I don't understand what the problem is?" He asked her again she was making this hard for some reason and he had no idea why.

"I don't know" she admitted with sigh a she stood up and began to pace in front on him. " It felt like I was betraying you by getting on some other guys boat when I won't get on yours. I thought guys were over protective of your boats like that." She tried explaining the situation to him but it didn't feel like she was succeeding.

"We care about our partners more" he informed her with a comforting smile.

"I felt like I was doing something wrong" she finally admitted to him with another frustrated sigh.

"Well you weren't but I think that is the sweetest thing you have ever said." A giant smile spread across his entire face.

"I'm serious" she cried at him her frustration only growing she felt awkward talking about these feeling with him, it made her uncomfortable and she didn't even know why.

"So am I" he replied the smile on his face.

"Then I don't understand" she huffed at him once more.

"There was a time when you wouldn't have thought twice about getting on that boat for any reason. But you just told me that you felt bad getting on another man's boat because you felt like you were betraying me. That is the sweetest, nicest thing you have ever said." He tried to explain to her.

"Yes well I guess that mean you're stuck with me for good now."

"Gladly, though I would have preferred that you thought twice about getting on the boat with a suspect instead." He admitted, he would feel better about her safety if she wasn't off dining with criminals.

"You can't have everything now can you?" she asked him it was her turn to smile.

"I supposed not. Now about Brian?" he said bring up the subject that he had been trying to talk to her about.

"Do you really want to ruin this moment with a fight about Brian?" She asked him in all seriousness, she really wasn't in the mood right now.

"No I guess not" he admitted with a sigh.

"I thought not, don't worry we can still have that argument tomorrow" she informed him with a laugh.

"I am not looking forward to it" he murmured to himself as she sat back down on the sofa with him. He pulled her into his arms and they were both silent for a little while, neither wanted to break the tranquil quite.

"Robert" she finally said pulling away so she could look at him as she spoke.

"Yeah?"

"A few days ago you were right when you said I don't object when you want to go out on the boat." She told him.

"Okay" he replied confused once more by her statement. He thought they were done with the whole boat topic. He wanted to be done with the topic, he would sell the damn thing if it would stop their arguments from happening.

"And there is a reason why" she finished her previous statement.

"Do you want to tell me?" he asked. He was becoming slightly concerned Sandra was acting strangely and he didn't understand why.

"I feel bad that I get sea sick on your boat" she admitted to him with an unhappy sigh.

"It's not like it is your fault you have no control over it" he tried to comfort her. It wasn't a big deal to him at least not any more but it seemed be bothering her a lot more lately and he didn't know why.

"I know but you love sailing that boat and I can't go with you and" she stopped as a few tears slid down her cheeks.

"Hey no stop" he said quickly moving to her and wiping her tears away with his thumbs he then kissed her. "Everything is okay please don't cry. I don't care that you can't go out on the boat with me." He assured her kissing her once more.

"But you love that boat" she said once more as a few more tears fell.

"I love you more."

"And then I got on another guys boat and I didn't get sick." She couldn't help but sob into his shoulder.

"I thought we already talked about that, it was work."

"But I didn't get sick on his boat but I do on yours why?" she cried.

"Different size boats have different effects on people remember we talked about his before too" he reminded her as he rubbed her back trying to calm her down. He had no idea where any of this was coming from but it worried him a little this was not like her at all.

"I know but I should be able to do the things you love to do." She replied continuing to cry on him.

"You have made it quite clear you don't want to go out on the boat, and I'm fine with that. Not to mention that is just one thing I like to do." He tried to explain to her that everything was alright she didn't need to get this upset over it.

"I don't want to go out because I don't want to get sick and there are some things you do that I can't do, I want to do those things with you." She cried and it took him a few moments to understand exactly what she was saying.

"Are we back to that again, work stuff?" he asked with a sigh and she didn't answer him but a few more tear escaped instead. "Sandra I need you to tell me what's going on, why is this suddenly so important to you. You never use to care about this before, in fact you were quite happy to be left out, you hate those functions as much as I do. So what's change why is this bothering you now?" He asked her in earnest, he wasn't trying to be forceful but he needed to know what was going on with her.

"I don't know" she sobbed once more. "But it does, it bothers me that I can't go with you." The reality of the statement only made her cry harder.

"If you really want to go you can come, I will come up with some excuse, some work reason why I brought you. I can always say I want to show off UCOS more, that's something no one will question, I am always talking up you and UCOS." He didn't understand where any of this was coming from and she wasn't telling him, but he would do whatever he could to make her happy. "You tell me what you want and I will do whatever I can to make it happen." He promised her and he meant it too.

She nodded but didn't say anything. She couldn't help but think that his solution was just one more lie for them to tell and she was so tired of lies. But she didn't want to fight so she didn't say anything.

"I guess we should have talked about Brian instead" he joked trying to make her feel better.

"No we shouldn't talk about Brian" she said firmly.

"Okay" he said with a laugh. "Are you feeling a little better?"

"Yeah I guess" she said softly though she didn't really mean it.

"You know you are probably exhausted from you trip why don't we go upstairs and lie down?" he suggested looking him over.

"That doesn't sound so bad" she replied with a wake smile.

"You know if you really want to do more things with me you could always go golfing with me?" He offered with a grin.

"No, golfing is stupid you will never convince me to go golfing." She shot back as him.

"And why not?" he asked playfully.

"Because I can't hit the ball with that stupid stick," she cried making a face at him.

"Okay no golfing. Let's get you upstairs and in bed." He said directing her toward the stairs.

"Thank you" she answered softly.

"For what?" he asked confused.

"Everything, holding me and calming me down when I start crying" she told him.

"Always I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise" he said kissing her forehead as they walked up the stairs.

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She woke up early two days later, it was Saturday morning and she would have liked nothing more than to stay warm and in bed snuggled up next to the man she loved. But she had made her decision, she knew what she needed to do and so she carefully made her way out of bed. It was too cold for Strickland to go out on the boat or golfing but there was a football match on which she hoped would occupy him for a while. She had already told him she needed to visit her mother and he hadn't questioned her further.

An hour later she let out a nervous sigh as she exited her car and entered White Mead. Her mother had recently finished breakfast and was waiting for her.

"Good morning Sandra" her mother greeted her with a hug.

"Hi mum" she replied returning the hug.

"You look tan" Grace observed.

"I spent a few days in Gibraltar this week on a case for work" Sandra explained.

"You know those are things you're supposed to tell your mother before you go not after you get back" she huffed at her daughter giving her a disapproving look.

"Mum it was work it came up real quick it was only a few days it wasn't important." She told her mother with a sigh this was not how she had hoped to start off this visit. It was very important to her that this visit went well.

"Well at least it's only a few days after you got back I would expect it to be weeks before I ever found out," her mum continued.

"Mum please let's go sit down" Sandra begged and her mum gave in to her request as the two moved to a sofa out of the way from everyone else. "So how are you feeling mum?" she asked.

"I'm fine Sandra" Grace replied.

"That's good, do you need anything?" she asked suddenly not eager to talk about the subject she came to talk about.

"No I am perfectly fine Sandra" her mother huffed slightly.

"You sure?" she asked once more. She was staling but she was nervous.

"Sandra will you just tell me" Grace sighed in frustration.

"Tell you what?"

"Whatever it is you came to tell me. You call me up out of the blue tell me you're coming to see me first thing Saturday morning. I know something is up, I know you Sandra you wouldn't come out this early unless there was something on your mind."

"Right" she sighed biting her bottom lip.

"And you're nervous so now I'm ever more convinced" Grace added with a knowing look.

"I…um…well you see…" she stopped, she had no idea how to do this. It wasn't common for her and Grace to have a heart to heart. And how exactly do you tell your mum you have been lying to her for years.

"Sandra whatever it is please just tell me it can't be that bad."

"Oh yes it can" she blurted out.

"Well this should be interesting then, come on you came all this way you might as well just tell me."

"I'm not actually sure where to start" Sandra admitted.

"Its cliché but usually the beginning is the best place" Grace offered.

"It's not that simple" she sighed.

"Then start wherever you want Sandra but we are just going to be sitting her until you do."

"Fine mum, you remember my boss Robert Strickland?" she asked finally.

"Yes I do what did he say to you this time?" Grace asked remembering back to their conversation in the hospital a few years ago.

"No it isn't like that."

"Really?" Grace asked becoming interested in what her daughter had to say.

"Yes, he and I have been seeing each other" she admitted.

"Well that's good news and how long has it been going on?" she asked with a smile.

"We've been together for over five years now" Sandra said quickly.

"Excuse me?" her mum asked surprised.

"Robert and I have been together for over five years mum."

"I see and you didn't feel like I might want to know." Her initial joy has been replaced by hurt feelings she couldn't believe that her daughter would keep this from her for so long.

"I knew you would want to know I just didn't know what to tell you because we have kept it a bit of a secret." She said honestly to her mum ignoring the looking she was giving her.

"For five years, who are you keeping this from?"

"The people at work."

"So those guys you work with don't know?" her mother asked in shock.

"No they do."

"So who again?" Grace asked again confused.

"Everyone else, if Robert's superiors found out they would not allow us to continue to work together in our current positions and we both really like our jobs." She tried to explain to her mother.

"That doesn't exactly explain why you didn't tell me but I will let that go. So why are you telling me now?" she questioned.

"I don't know exactly. I just thought you should know, I wanted you to know." Sandra tried to explain, this was becoming a common theme in her life. She had done and said several things over that past few days and she didn't know exactly why.

"That seems a bit unlike you Sandra, you do everything for a reason" her mum replied giving her a knowing look.

"Robert and I were fighting and he was upset that you didn't know about us and I decided he was right, you should know." She admitted it was the closest thing to an explanation she had.

"Well I like him if this was his doing."

"And if something ever happens to me you should let him make any medical decisions." Sandra blurted out.

"Okay, I feel there is a story behind that statement." Her mum said raising an eyebrow.

"Not really, I got shot about six weeks ago and had to get stitches. That is what caused the fight in the first place." She informed the older woman.

"And you didn't think I would want to know you were hurt." Her mother cried at her shaking her head.

"Mum I'm not five I am going to get hurt and I am not going to tell you every time it happens." She answered exasperated she wasn't there to talk about those things.

"Fine, so are you going to tell me about him? I have only met the man briefly twice. I would like to know about this man who has stuck around for five years."

"Well I think he is a pretty great guy. He is divorced with two kids, and he is a great dad. He has a wonderful sense of humor and though I have no idea why he insists on trying to take care of me and wants me to be happy." She told her mum and as she did she couldn't help the smile that took over her entire face.

"I never thought I would hear you talk about a man that way. So tell me about his children" her mum said encouraging her to continue.

"He has a son named Rufus who is eleven and a daughter Hermione and she is fourteen she will turn fifteen soon. They are both wonderful kids, I love them too and sometimes just for a bit they feel like mine" She admitted softly and she blushed as the seriousness of her admission. Her mother wisely didn't point this out to her, she knew if she did Sandra was likely to shut down and stop talking to her. And she liked seeing this side of her daughter she had waited a long time after all.

"I would like to meet all three of them one day. So I take it they like you as much as you like them?"

"Yeah I think so." Sandra then spent the next hour telling her mum all about their life together over the past five years. From the Halloween where Rufus threw up on her to the sea sickness incidents, Hermione insisting on giving her a teddy bear and even Rufus breaking his arm last year. Her mother listened intently letting Sandra tell all her stories. She wisely held back from making comments especially when she found out a crazy man had hit Sandra with a brick and she had never knew of it. Her daughter's eyes lit up when she talked about the three Strickland's. It was something she had never seen Sandra do before and she wouldn't do anything to stop her from sharing her life.

"So let me ask you a question?" Grace finally said after Sandra was finished talking.

"Alright" she agreed nervously biting her bottom lip once more.

"When are you going to marry him?"

"If I marry him his bosses will find out about us" Sandra sighed.

"So he has asked you?" her mother asked with a smile.

"Of course he asked me and I want nothing more than to marry him. But things would have to change and I don't know if I'm ready yet." She moaned, she didn't know what she wanted any more and it was driving her a little crazy.

"Sandra I have never seen you talk about someone the way you talk about him, you're whole face lights up. I think he is worth changing for" she told her daughter wisely.

"I don't know maybe, I'm just not sure I can handle it." She said softly, she had been thinking about this issue for a while now and could never make the equation work.

"You'll never know till you try." They were both quite for a few minutes. "I do have one other question" Grace finally said.

"And what is that?" Sandra asked with a laugh, the day her mum only had one question about anything would be the day hell froze over.

"When I came to visit you last year where was he, you live together but he wasn't there when I was there." She asked confused by the situation.

"He still has his place we stay over there when his kids come to stay" she explained.

"So you kicked him out when I came. You should have just told me. It's not like I would have told anyone." Her mother sighed at her daughter.

"You would have found someone important to tell."

"I can keep a secret, so what is he doing while you are here?"

"Watching a football match on the telly" she told her with a smile.

"As much as I love see you, you should go home to him."

"If you're sure?" Sandra asked taking a peak at her watch doing the math if she left now she could be home before lunch.

"Yes go, but remember I would like to meet him one day before the wedding" her mother said giving her a look.

"Mum there is no wedding" Sandra huffed at her.

"We'll see. Sandra you told me about your relationship for a reason just think about it, now go."

"I love you mum" Sandra said giving her a kiss before she left.

"I love you too Sandra."

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"Robert I'm home" She called as she opened the door, she found him on the sofa the football match had just finished.

"Perfect timing you want some lunch?" He asked as he stood up to stretch.

"Yes please" she responded smiling at him as she put her handbag down.

"So how did it go with your mum?" He asked opening the fridge.

"Good… well… quite well in fact" She couldn't help but smile even more.

"That's good" he said only half paying attention as he search for something good to eat.

"Yes it is because I told her about us" she told him holding her breath waiting for his reaction.

"You what?" he asked almost banging his head on the fridge as he turned to face her.

"I told her about our relationship, I told her about you and the kids. And I told her that you get to make decisions if something happens to me." She informed him with a giant smile.

"Why did you decide now was the time?" He asked still in disbelief that she had actually done so.

"You were right it was time she knew. It felt good to tell her actually" she admitted.

"I'm glad" he was thrilled that she had finally told her mum their secret and it had clearly gone well as she was still smiling.

"Don't be she wants me to bring you with me next time I go to see her."

"I will gladly go. Now this calls for celebrating. Let's go out somewhere for lunch." He exclaimed pulling her close to him.

"That sounds great. I love you." She told him as she kissed him."

"I love you too."

A/N Hope this chapter made up for the grumpiness of the the last chapter. Thanks for reading and for the reviews.


	55. Sins of the Father

Sins of the Father

"Sandra" Strickland called walking through the front door that night, he couldn't help but marvel at how he had long ago stopped thinking of it as her home but their home.

"Before you yell at me for having to sack Brian you have to understand I truly had no choice there was nothing I could do, my hands were tied by higher ups, the lawyers are already involved. I honestly had no choice, I know you don't believe that but it's true, if I could find a way around not doing it I would have." He said trying to preempt the argument he knew was coming his way. Sandra had been crushed when he forced Brian to clean up his desk and leave. The whole drive home he had been expecting to face a furious woman when he arrived. As he made his way into the kitchen he saw a half empty bottle of wine and he silently cursed.

"Look Sandra" he began again with a sigh before he came face to face with the woman. She took him by surprise, not just her presence or her proximity to him but the look she gave him. He had expected fury, fire, even hatred but all her saw were tears of pain and hurt, she looked defeated. She didn't say anything the tears just streamed down her face.

"Oh Sandra" he said opening his arms and enveloping her as she collapsed into him and started crying harder. He held her as she sobbed, he had never seen her this destroyed before and it hurt worse than her anger could. He felt guilty for his part in all this, even though he couldn't control what Brian chose to do. He wanted to be the one who made her smile and fixed every problem in her life not the one who helped dismantle her team. After several minutes of her sobbing into his chest it became clear that she was not about to stop any time soon and he moved them over to the sofa. He simply continued to hold her as she cried her heart out into his chest, he knew she needed to get it all out.

"Do you want to talk about it" he asked after a while.

"What's there to talk about? I know why Brian did what he did what he did, but I hate it. He did want he felt he had to and you did the only think you could do. This just turned out to be the shitest day ever. I don't want to lose Brian but I don't have a choice." She dissolved into tears once more.

Strickland continued to hold her close to him trying in vain to comfort her, he felt so useless there was nothing he could do to fix the situation or to make her feel better. He had been expecting her to fight him when he got home and now more than ever he wished he had met an angry Sandra Pullman. He was familiar with angry Sandra he knew how to deal with her. But the way she was now sad and hurt, he hadn't seen her this bad since she found out about her brother and even then she was angry, now it just felt like she had given up. He didn't know what to do so he held her, rubbed her back and told her it would be okay, something neither of them believed. It was his job to fix things, to make her happy and he couldn't do the one thing that would fix things.

Eventually she cried herself to the point of exhaustion and fell asleep in his arms. He didn't want to move her for fear of waking her and upsetting her again. He moved ever so slightly allowing himself to get comfortable and turned on the television. He flipped through and found some action film, he turned the volume down and watch as the hero beat up the bad guys.

As Strickland sat there half paying attention to the film his felt his phone vibrated in his pocket. Moving as little as possible he managed to get it out. He found a text from Gerry which was a bit strange. Gerry rarely ever texted him, he naturally communicated primarily with Sandra, she was his governor after all and they were friends. Strickland on the other hand was someone Gerry was decent to but only for Sandra's sake, naturally they didn't socialize very much beyond a pint in the pub they weren't friends. He opened the text and read it curious as to what the man wanted to say to him.

 _Is she alright?_

He shouldn't have been surprised that Gerry was concerned about Sandra yet Strickland wasn't sure how to answer. If he was honest she didn't seem alright but that didn't mean she wouldn't be okay tomorrow or in a few days. Sighing he responded with the truth.

 _She is upset it may take some time_

 _She was ready to cry when she left_

Gerry was quick to reply with honesty of his own and Strickland wondered what the older man was doing at that moment. He hadn't expected Gerry to respond as fast as he did and could think of nothing to say but inquire after the man.

 _How are you?_

 _Drunk very drunk_

That would explain why Gerry was suddenly so interested in texting him, he hoped that if the man were still at the pub he was not alone. He prayed Steve was there with him to stop any destruction Gerry might cause.

 _Go to sleep_

He suggested hoping Gerry would actually listen to him for once. Finishing with the older man he put the phone down and looked once more at the sleeping woman in his arms and he brushed some hair off her face.

"Was that Gerry?" He jumped a little in surprise, her eyes were still closed and he though she was asleep.

"Yeah are you becoming psychic?" he asked surprised.

"He has been texting me all night I haven't responded, I didn't know what to say, I figured he would eventually try you." She informed him opening her eyes reluctantly.

"He's drunk quite drunk according to him, as expected given the case and Brian. You on the other hand are not drunk." He observed looking at the very large glass of wine nearby.

"Poured it but couldn't seem to drink it" she informed him.

"And whys that?" he inquired curious and a bit surprised, it was unlike her to pour a glass and not drink it.

"Turns out it is really hard to cry rather hysterically and drink a glass of wine at the same time." She responded flippantly.

"I can see how that would be a problem and probably wise you didn't drink the glass. Do you want it now?" he offered.

"No I want to sleep until I forget all of this." She moaned burying her head in his chest.

"Come on let me get you upstairs." He said standing up and holding his hand out to her. She accepted it and he gently pulled her up. Yet instead of leading her upstairs he began kissing her, the kisses were soft and sensual his way of telling her he was therefore her and he would take care of her. Only after he was done kissing her did he take her hand and lead her up to their bedroom.

Once there he slowly, very carefully took off her clothes kissing her neck, shoulders, and arms as he did so, they were very soft kisses and she melted into his touch. He massages her tight shoulders, and as he did he could feel the stress radiating throughout her body. "Let's get in the shower" he whispered to her. She nodded and he directed them both into the bathroom.

When the water was warm he let her get in first and followed close behind. He proceeded to slowly wash her entire body, every so often he pepper her wet skin with light kisses. He then moved on and washed her hair gently massaging her as he did so. He was trying to comfort and relax her and happily she was allowing him to do so. As the shower progressed Strickland finally felt her begin to calm down and her muscles begin to relax. Once she was completely cleaned by the hot water he turned if off and grabbed a nearby towel. He slowly dried her off all the while he continued pepper her skin with tiny kisses and caress her body with his hands.

Finally when she was completely dry he moved her over to the bed, he wanted to make her feel better and he only knew one way. Strickland made love to her softly and slowly, every touch was delicate and gentle. Each kiss was simple and loving. It wasn't about making her feel like she was alive it was about making her know he was there, that he loved her and he would never leave her.

Later as Sandra slept in his arms he watched her sleep. She still didn't look relaxed or happy or even at peace. She continued to be troubled by the day's events even in her sleep. It had been only a year since Jack had left less than nine months since he died. She had only just gotten over the loss of one family member she had now lost another. True Brian was still alive, she could go visit him and have dinner with him whenever she wanted. But so much of her life was spent at work and with him and when possible the kids, he knew she would have trouble finding time for Brian. And that was only going to cause her more pain.

With so many changes going on in her life he desperately wanted her to know that he would always be there. He had told her several times but he had no idea how to show her except to simply be there for her when she needed him. He knew the increased fighting at home wasn't doing either of them any favors. And he tried so hard not to argue with her but for the last few months something just seemed to be setting them off. He thought it would have gotten better once she told her mum about them. It was a giant step he had been nudging her towards for years, but it hasn't been enough to stop the flow of arguments. Now with Brian's departure from UCOS he was determined to try harder. She needed some place calming and something solid in her life and he wasn't about to let Gerry Standing be that rock in her life. It was his job to provide her with stability, love, and care. He was her home and he knew that was exactly what she would need in the weeks and months to come.

A/N I hope this was a good second to last chapter, the end of the episode itself was emotional for Sandra and the night following it had to be as well. As always thank you for reading and for the very lovely review.


	56. The Little Brother

The little Brother

Sandra had been pacing the living room waiting for Robert Strickland to get home from work for the last thirty minutes. She knew what she needed to do, she had been thinking about it for weeks, she was just nervous. Brian leaving the team had thrown her for a loop but it confirmed her decision- things needed to change. It would be easier now that Brian was gone he was always so resistant to change. But things had to change they couldn't stay the way they were forever. She knew she was making the right choice, she knew it deep down but she was still nervous.

To be honest she didn't like change any more than Brain did and after ten years of comfortable normalcy it was ever so hard to change. Yet she had come to the conclusion that she was ready now, ready to change and she was ready to share her decision with Strickland. Having to wait for him to get home was only making it worse, she wasn't very patient to begin with and this was pushing her to the limit. She had made a decision and she wanted to share it with him immediately but he was taking his time getting home. She didn't know how much more she could take. She couldn't eat or even have a glass of wine until she told him how she felt. She was about to go out of her mind when she finally heard the front door open.

"Sandra?" he called as he closed the door and removed his coat.

"In here" she called out to him willing him to move faster.

"What's going on?" he asked when he found her standing in the middle of the living room, no TV, no wine in hand.

"I think we need to talk." She told him nervously still unsure if she could really go through with it. Once she told him what she wanted there was no going back, she would never be able to unsay it.

"Okay" he said letting out a deep breath as he sunk down on to the sofa staring up at her.

"Robert… I know you have noticed that all we seem to do is fight and it has been getting to both of us and we can't go on like this. So I did some thinking… well it sort of started while I was in Gibraltar and I have been thinking about it ever since. And now with all this stuff with Brian, I think you can agree that it is time for a change. I think I'm ready for a change." She said a bit faster than she meant to, she tried to give him a smile but she was too scared. She couldn't get over the gravity of what she was about to do, it would change both their lives forever and she hoped for the better. Yet there were so many variables she was going on faith at this point. Deep down she knew it was right, she knew it was time.

"Right" he replied softly looking down at his hands. He had known it was coming, after almost six years together she had finally come to her senses and decided she really did deserve better. He didn't know how he could go back to his flat that felt so empty and lonely. And what the hell was he going to tell his kids they loved her as much as he did. He wanted to fight for her, tell her 'no' but that was the problem all he did was upset her when they fought.

"Ask me again Robert." She told him firmly taking a deep breath, she was finally able to smile at him now that the words were finally out.

"What?" he asked. His head shot up to see her smiling face and he was beyond confused. She had been talking about breaking up- at least he thought she was. He tried to recall what she had said exactly but he realized he had only been partly listening. He heard the word 'fighting' and he had gone straight to what he had been expecting. He thought they were breaking up when he saw her nervous face as she paced the living room floor, he was sure they were breaking up. Yet he had clearly missed something as he was thinking the worst was happening. He had no idea what she wanted him to ask her.

"Ask me again… ask me the question you have been asking me for five years. Ask me again." She replied grinning at him.

"Seriously?" he questioned when he finally realized what she was saying.

"Yes you idiot" she laughed at him impatiently.

"Ah right" he said shaking his head trying to clear his thoughts for a moment. He couldn't believe what was happening he thought the worse was happening when if fact the exact opposite was true. He was about to get the thing he wanted most in world. It took him a moment to get his thoughts together before he finally stood up and took her hand. And then he did the only thing he could think of, he got down on one knee.

"Sandra...will you marry me?" He asked her his voice and eyes filled with hope.

"Yes" and as she answered her face lit up and much to her dismay a few tears pooled in the corners of her eyes.

"Yes?" He asked still not convinced this was actually happening. "You will? Are you sure? I thought you were going to break up with me. You said we were always fighting." The questions tumbled out before he even realized what he was saying.

"You really are an idiot stand up." She laughed as she ended up having to helping him up as he was still holding her hand. "We are always fighting about not being able to tell people about us and not being able to do everything together because people would find out. I want them all to know, I want to hold your hand when we walk down the street and not have to look around before I kiss you in public. I want everything that comes with it all the repercussions including UCOS, that was the change I was talking about. Where you even listening to me?"

"Not exactly I saw your face and you said we needed to talk and then you began talking about us fighting and I...I assumed what I was afraid of." He admitted slightly embarrassed, though not enough to put a damper on his elation.

"You picked a hell of time to stop being optimistic about us, you were the one who was sure I would accept one day." She scoffed at him but the smile seemed stuck on her face.

"Yeah" he laughed "as long as you are truly okay with this. As you pointed out I have wanted this for a long time." He needed to be sure this was exactly what she wanted and she wasn't doing this simply because she knew it was what he wanted.

"I'm sure, now are you going to kiss me or keep standing there grinning like an idiot?" She said laughing at him and the whole situation.

Strickland didn't need to be told twice he pulled her towards him quickly and captured her lips with his. He kissed her like he had never kissed her before. He could feel her knees wobble a little and he was about to take her in his arms and carry her upstairs when his mind practically exploded. He pulled away immediately much to her surprise and she looked at him in shock.

"We have to go back to the office." He blurted out already letting go of her and looking for his coat and keys.

"What now? Why? That isn't exactly how I thought we would celebrate." She said so confused her head was still spinning from his kiss and the very last place she wanted to go was back to work. Yet there he was standing in front of her in his coat holding her coat out along with her hand bag.

"We can't celebrate till we go back" he told her firmly.

"Okay fine" she agreed as he helped her put her coat on and practically dragged her out the door.

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"Seriously Robert what are we doing here? Everyone is gone the cleaning people have already come and left. Why are we here?" She moaned as they enter his dark office. She wanted to be in his arms devoid of all clothing at that moment not walking through the half lit hall of the met.

"I just have to get something." He replied turning on the lights in his office and heading for his desk.

"And it couldn't wait?" She questioned as she came to stand next to him as he rummaged through one of his desk drawers.

"No" he answered, after a moment he took something from the drawer and turned around to face her. To her surprise he was holding out an open jewelry box. Inside was a perfectly situated diamond ring.

"Oh" was all she could say as she watched him take her hand and slide the ring onto her finger.

"Now we can celebrate." He told her with a smile desperately hoping she liked the ring.

"How long have you had this?" she asked in shock.

"A few years" he informed her blushing a little.

"Honestly?" she exclaimed, she couldn't hold back her surprise. He had asked her many times to marry him but she didn't think he had actually bought a ring.

"Yes, I thought one day I could change your mind and I wanted to be prepared when you finally said yes." He replied his smile was huge.

"Why was it here?" she inquired confused.

"I was afraid you would find it if I left it at home. If figured I could always bring it home whenever I needed it. Turns out you caught me off guard. Plus what's safer than this place?" he asked her still grinning.

"True… I guess you were right about needing it one day" she said softly gazing down at her new ring.

"Do you like it?" he asked nervously. When he saw the ring as the store he thought it was the perfect one for Sandra. It was white gold and even though she had told him once she preferred silver he thought she would be happy with the white gold as well. Yet just because he thought she would like it didn't mean she actually would. He had learned over the years that while he knew her better than most that didn't mean he always picked the correct gifts for her.

"It's perfect" she cried, she loved it she couldn't have chosen a more perfect ring herself. The large square diamond was surrounded by a number of smaller diamonds and even in the low light of his office it still seemed to sparkle like mad.

"Great let's go" he said taking her hand and pulling her out of his office. He had several plans for them that evening and then he was going to finish what he started back home.

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"What is that on your finger?" Gerry asked the next morning as she sat on one of the chairs drinking her coffee.

"What does it look like?" The ring felt a little strange on her finger but it was definitely a good strange. She couldn't help but smile every time she looked down at it. She reminded herself that she needed to be careful, she had caught herself playing with it several times and she didn't want to draw too much attention to the large diamond.

"It looks like an engagement ring" he answered flippantly.

"Well you would know Gerry you do have an extensive history with them." She found it impossible not to smile as she took another drink of coffee.

"Yes but why are you wearing one?" he demanded perplexed.

"I thought you would have been able to figure that one out." She replied rolling her eyes at his stupid questions she clearly had thrown him if he was acting this way.

"You actually agreed to marry Strickland? Why?" he asked in shock.

"Again I thought you would have already known the answer" she replied dryly.

"I know why people get married but why are you marrying him?"

"Gerry, really after all these years you are going to say he isn't good enough for me?" She huffed at him, she knew Gerry could be narrow minded when he wanted to be, but he seemed to have warmed to their relationship years ago. His reaction confused and frustrated her.

"No I know you love each other but what about work, if you two get hitched people will know and they aren't going to like this little arrangement that you two have at work." He well understood the nature of their relationship and making it public had never been something they had been interested in.

"That is a possibility and whatever happens… happens. I'm tired of hiding, I want to marry him and he has been trying to convince me to say yes for years." She told him and the firmness in her voice surprised him as much as her words.

"What you're really saying is you are ready to move on?" he asked taken back by her revelation.

"Maybe" she couldn't look at him she focused on the file in her hand instead, she knew he would be the hardest one to tell and she was afraid of his reaction. They had worked together and been friends for so long and now she wanted his approval on this.

"How ready? Are we talking somewhere else in the Met or somewhere else all together?" He questioned trying to figure out what her intentions truly were. If he was honest he wasn't that surprised, what surprised him more was how long she had stuck around.

"I'm not sure, this place UCOS I mean, I have stayed here longer than anywhere else, but I think it is time. I want to marry Robert and be with him 100% of the time. And I would like to cut down on the fighting; most of it comes from this place." She replied she knew this was what she wanted she just found it hard to say it.

"UCOS?" he asked confused.

"The Met" she corrected him. She and Strickland has spent a long time the night before discussing what might happen once their relationship became common knowledge. There was the possibility that the higher ups would just ignore it once they found out how long they had been together without any issue. But if they did have a problem with it they were both interested in exploring their options both inside and beyond the Met.

"Right" Gerry replied, he knew how work had a way of worming its way into a person's home life. "Are you going to look at me Sandra?" he asked once he realized that she had spent most of their conversation refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" she asked nervously as she finally looked up to face him.

"Yeah of course I will, as long as that prat makes you happy. You should be happy" he told her before he leaned down kissing her on the cheek. "And you shouldn't stay here forever."

"Thank you Gerry that means a lot" she replied trying to keep the tears that had suddenly appeared in her eyes from falling.

"Just promise me I get to be there for the wedding don't you dare run off on holiday and get married." He ordered her firmly she was not going to run off and elope not after all this time.

"I promise, I couldn't get married without you and Brian you're my family" she assured him.

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"Gerry spotted the ring the moment he walked in the door." Sandra told Strickland later that night as they sat curled up on the sofa, it was their favorite spot in the house outside the bedroom.

"Very observant, how did he react" he asked, he was curious and he still couldn't help being a little nervous even after all this time. He knew how important Gerry's opinion was to Sandra regardless of what she might say.

"He was a bit surprised but he is happy for us" she assured him with a smile.

"Well that is good, he okay with you possibly leaving UCOS?" he inquired further.

"Yeah told me I couldn't stay there forever, I guess he is right." She added and she knew Gerry was telling her the truth.

"Well you never know what could happen" he reminded her there was no guaranty they would make one or both of them move to a different unit.

"Doesn't matter whatever happens I'm ready, right now I just want to focus on us." She told him, she still loved her job but she loved him more and she was ready for everyone to know.

"Me too" he agreed kissing her.

"Seeing as Gerry knows I figure I should stop by sometime this week and see Ester and Brian. Did you call and tell Roo and Hermione?"

"I call them this afternoon and talked to them. Hermione was ecstatic, Roo said it was cool so it is safe to say they are happy about it, not that I had any doubt they would be."

"Hermione already told me she thought it would be brilliant if we got married I wasn't worried about their reaction. Guess that just leaves my mum and we know she will be thrilled." She said with a laugh her mother was going to be over the moon to hear her daughter was finally getting married.

"I did something else today" he told her with a smile.

"And what was that?" she asked. Sandra knew he wanted her to ask him so she played along truly curious as to what it could be.

"I put my house on the market" he told her proudly. To him it was the last symbol of their separate lives, well almost the last symbol but he had plans for that item as well.

"You did?" she grinned happily and only slightly surprised. They had yet to actually talk about their houses but she knew as well as he did that her place, the place they were in right now, was their true home.

"Well I engaged a Realtor to sell the house, he has to come out and look at it and then I have to sign some paper work but the result will be my house on the market." He explained to her and the smile never left his face as he did.

"I can hardly object to that and moving your things shouldn't be too hard seeing as almost everything except your furniture is already here." She replied already mentally going through which parts of their home would need to rearranged and redecorated. "Should we let Mione and Roo pick which rooms they want?" she asked.

"That is probably the wise way to do lest we hear about it till the end of time" he joked.

"What if they want the same room?" she replied suddenly concerned.

"Ah that one is easy, we will tell them if that is what they want then they can share a room" he replied triumphantly.

"That is sure to make one of them change their mind" she laughed just imagining their faces at the prospect of having to share a room.

"There is one other thing I have been thinking about" he told her carefully.

"Oh and what is that?" she inquired her mine still on rearranging the house and trying to determine where his furniture would fit. It was clear to her that some of it would just have to go it wouldn't all fit.

"I am going to sell the boat" he told.

"You're what?" she asked not sure if she hear him correctly.

"The Last Minnet I am going to sell her" he repeated firmly.

"But why you love going out on the boat" she questioned him she didn't understand why he would decide to do something like that.

"Because it isn't something we can do together" he replied just as firmly.

"That doesn't mean you should sell it, what about the kids they love going out on it?" she pushed still confused.

"They are getting older and they don't enjoy it as much as they use to. We are finally getting married I think now is the right time, it doesn't represent our life together." He tried to explain to her, he wanted to reduce the number of things in his life that was not about the two of them.

"It is something the three of you do together and just because it isn't something we do together is no reason to get rid of it, you need your hobbies that you do on your own. I am pretty sure that is necessary to happy marriage." She objected she didn't want him to sell the boat because of her.

"There are plenty of things I do with my children. Rufus has taken a strong interest in cricket since we went to that game, he wants to go out for his school team. Hermione has expressed her disinterest in the boat she informed me she feels claustrophobic being out on the water on such a small boat. And as you have repeatedly pointed out you will never play golf with me so I will always have a hobby that you do not take part in. Have no worries I have thought this through it is not a rash decision brought about by our engagement. Over the past year I have felt as though there was less and less time to take care of the boat. It has been taking me away from the things I enjoy more, namely you." He explained to her further, the boat was the truly last symbol of their separate lives and it was time it went.

"If you are sure about this then I won't object not that you need my permission she is entirely yours" she agreed with a laugh.

"Yes she it and I say it is time she goes, a man can only have one mistress in his life" he replied playfully.

"The last bit of your bachelorhood?" she asked joining in on his joke.

"As a matter of fact it is and I will be more than happy to sell her and invest the money. Maybe in a few years I can buy a big boat that won't make you sick. Or even better find a nice little retreat somewhere warm just for the two of us." He suggested imagining the fun they could have.

"Now that is something I can get behind" she agreed with a smile before she kissed him.

"The only thing left is for us to figure out when do we want to get married and what kind of wedding do you want?" He asked her when they finally stopped kissing.

"I think it is what kind of wedding do we want" she corrected him. "And I already told you all I need is our family there." She reminded him, he had asked her that question nearly two years ago and her answer hadn't changed in all that time. If anything time had only confirmed that it was the only choice for their wedding.

"Small and intimate sounds perfect to me just name the date and I'll be there." He promised her agreeing completely with the idea. He hadn't forgotten but he thought it wise not to assume what a woman might want for her wedding.

"Let's wait till it's warm out maybe summer at least then we'll have a chance it won't rain." She suggested thinking of what would be easiest. Plus if they got married when it was warm it allowed for far more options when it came to picking the dress.

"I heard it was lucky if it rained on your wedding day." He told her playfully, he had no doubt that regardless of what happened on the day, their life together would be wonderful and never boring. The last six years had been both of those things and so much move and he had no doubt their marriage would as well.

"I don't care rain or shine as long as you're there that all I care about." She told him, she knew it sound a bit sappy but it was their wedding day they were discussing. It was the one specific day that everyone was allowed to get a little mushy when talking about.

"That funny because I feel the same way" Strickland agreed kissing her once more. Sandra had made him the happiest man the day she had agreed to go out to dinner with him all those years ago. He couldn't imagine what their lives would be like now if that had never happen and he never wanted to find out. He planned to spend the rest of his life making her as happy as he possibly could and that was one promise he was determined to keep.

The End

A/N There it is the last chapter, sorry it has to end but I hope you all feel that it is a good ending. I fear endings are my weakest part I keep wanting them to go on never knowing where the right place to stop is. I chose not to write a wedding scene for Sandra and Strickland allowing readers to envision it as they want. I am sure we can all agree that Rufus would do something silly and Grace would say something to embarrass Sandra and naturally Gerry would give away the bride but all the other bits I will let you imagine on your own. Thank you all so very much for reading all these chapters over the last two months. I hope you've enjoyed what you read and though I have written it many times—I am so grateful for all the very lovely reviews, they are some of the nicest reviews I have ever received so again thank you.


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